How to Spice Up Oral Sex: Ultimate Guide

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How to Spice Up Oral Sex: Ultimate Guide

Oral… there’s just something about it that we all love. Perhaps it’s the intimacy. Or maybe its the precision. Or maybe it’s even the fact that our partner is focusing on us so we can lay back and relax.

Whatever it is, there’s just nothing that can compare. That doesn’t mean that oral sex can’t get better, though.

Below we’ll outline the various ways to spice up oral sex with your partner. This includes general tips and techniques, as well as those for male and female partners. I’ll also share some of my favorite oral sex positions for him and her.

How to Make Oral Sex More Exciting With Your Partner

Male or female, here are techniques for spicing up oral sex with your partner.

Ask What They Want

If you’ve been performing oral on your partner for a while, you probably fell into a routine. That’s fine, especially if it’s something that brings your partner to completion 99% of the time.

But there’s also nothing wrong with wanting something different.

So give your partner the opportunity to tell you exactly what they want. You may just be surprised at how adventurous and naughty they are!

If your partner isn’t quite sure what they want, you can make suggestions (e.g. “would you like if I did XYZ?”) or even watch adult entertainment together and take notes.

Put Your Hands to Work

You may think you’re doing enough, but don’t be afraid to go above and beyond. You can do so by adding your hands into the mix.

If you’re going down on her, use a finger to flick her clit or insert one into her vagina. If you’re going down on him, use one hand to massage his balls or insert a finger into his anus (with prior permission!).

Use a hand to reach for their nipples, cup their buttocks, or massage their belly. The possibilities are really endless here.

Add a Flavored Lube

Do you want something that tastes good and encourages better oral sex? Try flavored lube! It’ll be a win-win for both parties.

Flavored lube comes in a large variety of flavors, so you’re bound to find something you like.

It can be used just about anywhere, including the nipples, clitoris, vagina, penis, and anus.

Make Some Noise

When your partner is going down on you, have you ever wondered what’s going through their mind? You may think they’re bored or even hate the experience.

Let your partner know you’re having a good time by making some noise.

Moans, groans, slurps, and mumbles are a good way to show your partner that you’re enjoying your time down there. It may also encourage them to make more noise of their own which helps you to gauge whether they enjoy what you’re doing.

Use Your Eyes

Do you avoid eye contact with your partner because you’re embarrassed? Or perhaps you just never thought about its necessity. Either way, just know that eye contact can be one of the sexiest things you can do while going down.

Just think of how sexy your partner will find it when you make eye contact with them while you’re gobbling their dick or licking their pussy. It ignites feelings of power which further intensifies the experience.

It’s also a great way to gauge your partner’s response to what you’re doing!

Explore Other Areas

Your hands may have started to wander, but don’t be afraid to let your mouth do the same.

Leave a trail of kisses up and down your partner’s inner thighs. Use your tongue to gently lick at their balls or anus. Give a little nibble on their lower belly or upper thigh.

You can expand this to cover the entire body from head to toe. This is a great way to extend the session, as well as heighten arousal.

Try Temperature Play

Hot and cold… two ways to enhance the experience for your partner with minimal effort.

Temperature play utilizes things like ice cubes and warming lubricant to intensify the experience. Just hold against or apply to the desired area for various lengths of time and use it to enhance your oral sex.

Just remember to check in with your partner frequently. As soon as they become uncomfortable, remove the source of the temperature. Too much hot or too much cold can also desensitize the area.

Now let’s look at more specific techniques for her and for him.

How to Spice Things Up: For Her

Does your partner have a vulva? Here’s how to get her off during oral sex.

Don’t Be Afraid to Get In There

Sure, you can flick the clitoris with your tongue over and over again, but that gets old… fast. You need to add more variety to your routine.

These new techniques require you to get in there exploring every orifice of the vulva and vagina. But that’s just more fun for both of you!

A few techniques to try:

  • Start at the base of the vulva just above the perineum and lick all the way up to the clit. Repeat as many times as she enjoys it.
  • Use your fingers to spread apart the labia. Lap at the vulva at various points up and down.
  • Flick your tongue in and out of the vagina while using your finger to rub her clit.
  • Lick and suck at the mound just above the clitoris.
  • Lick and suck up and down the inner thighs.

When she’s ready for more, you can use your tongue to focus more on the clitoris. You can also insert your fingers into her vagina at the same time.

Reach for the Nipples

Another thing you can do while you’re lapping it up down there is to reach for her nipples.

Nipple play is a sexy activity all on its own. Combined with cunnilingus, though, it may just lead to an explosive nipple orgasm.

Start slowly. First, just circle her breasts with your fingertips. Move towards the areola and then finally land on the nipple.

You can continue to circle the nipple, or you can use other techniques like tapping, rubbing, or even squeezing. I’d recommend some wetness here, either your spit or lubricant.

Compliment How She Tastes

If there’s one thing that women are universally concerned with, it’s how they smell and taste when their partner is going down on them.

To ease her concerns so she can fully relax, compliment just how good she tastes when you first begin.

The more your partner can relax, the more she’ll enjoy the experience. This will also make it more likely for her to reach climax.

Add a Vibrator

Do you want to really bring her over the edge? Add a vibrator to the mix!

Vibrators come in all shapes and sizes. Whether you intend to use it on her clit as you focus on other areas of the vulva, or insert it into her vagina, or even use it on her nipples, a vibrator is a great addition to your routine.

If your vibrator has settings, as most do, start it on low. As she gets wetter and more into it, increase the intensity and the speed.

Use it as a complement to what you’re doing, or as the main event.

How to Spice Things Up: For Him

If you’re going down on a partner with a penis, here are a few tips to bring your oral sex to the next level.

Use a Cock Ring

Does your partner enjoy oral sex but it’s just missing something? A cock ring can add a bit of spice for those looking for something new.

A cock ring is a device made of plastic, silicone, or metal. It secures to the base of the penis as a way to constrict blood flow to the penis. This makes it harder and more erect and also more sensitive to touch.

If you want your man to last longer, an adjustable cock ring is a fun addition to your oral sex session. For extra fun, get a vibrating cock ring.

Give Attention to Other Areas

While sucking his cock, it can be easy to focus on that one task. You may have plenty of thoughts going through your mind, such as:

  • How fast should I go?
  • How deep?
  • Should I flick my tongue while I suck?
  • Should I focus on just the tip or the entire shaft?

As you get into your rhythm, though, you’ll soon feel like a natural. That’s when it’s time to give attention to other areas while you continue sucking his cock.

This can be as simple as using a free hand to squeeze the base of his cock. You can also use one or two hands to go up and down the shaft as your mouth goes up and down on the tip.

But feel free to venture to other areas, too!

The balls are a great place to explore. Lightly roll them around in the palm of your hand or gently squeeze them as you suck. You can also insert a finger into his anus (with prior permission!) or even venture up to his nipples.

Practice Cock Worship

You know what’s a huge turn-off during oral sex? Feeling like your partner sees it as a chore as opposed to a fun and satisfying activity.

While there are plenty of ways you can show you’re having a good time, like moaning and slurping and making eye contact, you can take it a step further with cock worship.

Cock worship is the practice of excessively praising your partner’s cock and showering it with attention. It sounds silly at first, but it’s a great way to boost your partner’s confidence and empower them in the bedroom.

You can start with little comments here and there, such as:

  • “Wow, your cock is gorgeous.”
  • “Ugh, I don’t know if I can take that whole cock in my mouth.”
  • “I want that delicious dick in my mouth right now.”

You can go further if you realize it has a positive benefit on your partner. For example, gazing at it lovingly as you stroke it, asking your partner if you can massage it, begging your partner to let you see it randomly.

Cock worship (and pussy worship) are a massive turn-on and a great way to spice it up in the bedroom.

Try a Prostate Stimulator

If your partner is into trying new things, then be sure to give a prostate stimulator a try.

A prostate stimulator is a specialty sex toy that sits in the anus at an angle. Whether through manual manipulation or vibrations, it stimulates the prostate internally.

The prostate stimulator can lead to extremely pleasurable orgasms, known as prostate orgasms. They’re also a great complement to an activity like cock sucking.

Is your partner intrigued but a little nervous? Start small with just a pinky in the anus during oral sex. Once your partner is used to that, you can move on to an index finger. There are plenty of prostate stimulators that are not much bigger than the circumference of an index finger, so from there you can finally give one a go.

Best Positions to Pleasure Her

Are you looking for some specific positions to try in the bedroom? Here are some of the best sex positions for going down on her.

The Trick or Treat

Are you looking for some classic but with a slight edge? The Trick or Treat is the missionary position of cunnilingus, but it certainly gets the job done.

How to Do It

Have her lie on her back and spread her legs. Roll her to the side and place a pillow under her hips. This will tilt the pelvis upwards for greater access.

Now lie down with your head over her vagina. Have her lift her legs and place her feet on your shoulders.

Use your thumb and index finger to part her labia. Use the other thumb to gently lift the hood of the clitoris. Now you have full and total access to suck, lick, and kiss her from perineum to clitoris.

The Lazy Girl

If you’re looking for a deeper and more penetrating position that also allows easy eye contact, the Lazy Girl is the perfect position.

How to Do It

Have her sit on a chair with her legs wide open. Kneel on the floor in front of her legs. Have her place her legs in the crooks of your elbow or on your shoulders.

Instead of going right in, this position gives you full access to her lower body. Start with a foot massage and slowly work your way up her legs. You can massage, lick, and kiss as you make your way to her mound.

Once she’s fully ready, use one hand to separate her labia and go right in on her vulva and clitoris.

The Face Sitter

This position puts your girl in the driver’s seat. She’ll have control over many factors so she can discover what she likes. You never know, this may also uncover a newfound love of BDSM and domination.

How to Do It

Lie down on your back. Have your partner stand over you with a foot on either side facing in your direction. Have her squat over your face. She can use her knees to hold herself up, or lean back slightly and place weight on your chest while using her arms to support herself.

Now you can eat her out and she’ll have total control over the angle, position, and depth. Tell her to command you as to what to do (e.g. lick, suck, nipple, kiss) and her desired speed.

Best Positions to Pleasure Him

The Elevator

This classic position is sure to please.

How to Do It

Have your partner stand up straight with his legs shoulder width apart. Kneel in front of him so you’re mouth is level with his penis. You can use pillows or blankets for comfort and height.

Take his shaft into your mouth while simultaneously using your hand to stroke his shaft. You can also use a hand to play with his balls.

The Table Surfer

Do you just love to play with your man’s balls? Does HE just love to have his balls played with? In either case, the Table Surfer is the ideal position for doing just that.

How to Do It

Lie on a bed or table with your head hanging over the edge. Have your partner stand up in front of you and bring his balls and penis over your mouth.

Use your mouth to lick and suck his balls or take his shaft into your mouth.

Pro tip: If you have a strong gag reflex but want to go deeper, this is the perfect position to do so. You can position your neck in such a way (i.e. fully straight and titled back at an angle) that you are able to take more of his shaft with no discomfort.

The Boss’ Chair

While standing positions are a fun way for him to dominate you during oral sex, sometimes he just wants to sit back and relax. That’s what the Boss’ Chair is for.

How to Do It

Have him sit on a sofa or recliner and part his legs. Now kneel between his legs and begin to stroke, rub, and massage his balls and shaft. As he gets more and more aroused, begin to take the head of his penis into your mouth and then slowly engulf his shaft.


There are plenty of ‘right’ ways to do oral sex. Even some of the most basic techniques can be pleasurable and satisfying. But if you want to go from just good to absolutely mind-blowing oral sex, then the techniques and positions above are a must.

Laura Rose Halliday

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