What if I told you that prostate massage could lead to the most powerful orgasm you’ve ever experienced? That’s right, the prostate (or the p-spot) is one male organ that’s often overlooked but one that can produce immeasurable pleasure.
In this post, you’ll learn about the prostate including what it is and how to find it. You’ll also learn about prostate massage. This includes techniques you can use on yourself or with the help of a partner. So if you’re ready for an earth-shattering orgasm, then read on.
What is the Prostate?
The prostate (or the p-spot) is a walnut-sized gland that produces the seminal fluid found in ejaculate. As such, the prostate is only present in cisgender men and people assigned male at birth.
The prostate is often referred to colloquially as the male g-spot.
Where is the Prostate?
The prostate is located between the penis and the rectum. It surrounds the urethra and sits just below the bladder.
There are two ways to stimulate the prostate. Externally you can stimulate the prostate by massaging the perineum (the area between the genitals and the anus). Internal stimulation can be done within the rectum.
What Does the Prostate Feel Like?
The prostate feels different depending on whether you’re touching it externally or internally.
When feeling the prostate externally, you’ll gently push down on the perineum. The part of the perineum closer to the penis is stiffer, while the part near the anus is softer. The softer, fleshier part is what you’re aiming for. You’ll know you’ve found the prostate when you get the urge to pee.
When feeling the prostate internally, you’ll find it feels fleshy and different from the surrounding walls of the rectum. It will also protrude slightly.
Who Can Have a Prostate Orgasm?
In theory, everyone with a prostate should be able to achieve a prostate orgasm. However, mental blocks or medical conditions may make it difficult, if not impossible.
One of the more common medical conditions is Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH). The condition is an enlargement of the prostate gland that causes difficulty in urination. If not treated, the condition can cause bladder infections, bladder stones, and kidney infections.
For those with BPH, it’s not recommended to further irritate the prostate. There is treatment available, though.
Also, we have a full article about male orgasms here.
What Does a Prostate Orgasm Feel Like?
The prostate orgasm is often described as similar to a penile orgasm but much more intense and more of a full-body experience.
While not exactly comparable, the prostate orgasm is similar to the female cervical orgasm. There are often a lot of contractions, and trembling is common.
You may or may not ejaculate during a prostate orgasm. Even if you don’t, you may release a milky fluid known as prostatic fluid.
What is Prostate Massage?
Prostate massage is stimulation of the prostate gland for pleasure. It can be done to oneself or by a partner.
Are There Any Risks Associated with Prostate Massage?
The rectum is bacteria-rich and the lining of the rectal wall is thin. This means any damage to the rectal wall can easily lead to infection. As such, there is always a slight risk where the rectum is concerned.
There are ways to minimize risk. These include washing hands before and after the prostate massage, keeping your nails short and clean, not using objects with sharp edges, and using lubricant at all times.
If using objects for internal stimulation, be sure they are sex toys made for anal use. The base of the toy should be flared so as to prevent the toy from getting stuck in the rectum which can be just as dangerous as it is embarrassing.
How to Prepare for Prostate Massage
Whether you’re the one receiving or giving the massage, there are things you can do to prepare.
As the Receiving Partner
Your most important job as the receiving partner is to get comfortable. This means physically, but also getting comfortable with the idea of anal penetration (if doing internal prostate massage) and prostate stimulation.
If the massage will be done internally, it’s important to clean the anus beforehand. You don’t need to go so far as to use an enema, though some people prefer that level of cleanliness. Taking a shower and paying special attention to the anus should be enough.
Prior to starting, ensure your bladder is empty. Stimulating the prostate can make you feel as if you have to urinate. By emptying your bladder, you can at least have peace of mind that you don’t really need to pee.
If you have never received a prostate massage, it’s also good to prepare yourself for the sensation. This means experimenting on yourself.
As the Giving Partner
Your partner isn’t the only one who needs to worry about hygiene. As the giving partner, it’s important that your hands and fingers are clean prior to the massage. This is true even if you will be using a condom.
Cut and clean your fingernails to prevent cutting your partner. The high levels of bacteria within the rectum means internal cuts can easily become infected, so hygiene is crucial. You should also wash your hands before and after the massage.
How to Give a Prostate Massage to a Partner
If you want to give your partner a prostate orgasm, you need to know how to give a prostate massage. The tips below will help to ensure that you and your partner have a good time.
With Your Fingers
There are three main movements to use for prostate stimulation. They are the come hither, circling, and tapping.
The technique here is pretty self-explanatory. This is the same motion you would make when signaling someone to “come hither.”
Insert a lubricated finger (or fingers) into your partner’s anus. Locate the prostate. With your fingers making contact with the prostate, curl your fingertips up to the roof of the rectum. Unfold your fingertips and continue the movement. You can vary depth, pressure, and speed based on your partner’s reactions.
Insert one lubricated finger into your partner’s anus. Locate the prostate. Using your fingertip, slowly circle around the outside of the prostate. You can vary speed, pressure, and direction.
To tease him, start slow and increase the speed gradually. You can reduce the speed every so often and then increase the speed again to keep him guessing.
Insert one or two lubricated fingers into your partner’s anus. Locate the prostate. Using your fingertips, gently lift your fingers and then tap the prostate. You can use both fingers at the same time, or alternate them.
As your partner gets accustomed to the technique, vary the speed and pressure of the taps.
With a variety of sex toys to choose from, you can stimulate the prostate in many different ways. From vibrators to anal dildos to strap-ons, you and your partner have many options.
If you’re looking for a sex toy that’s unique to partnered play, then consider a strap-on.
There are plenty of anal sex positions that your partner can use with a strap-on. These will easily stimulate the prostate for pleasure.
Of course, if you’ve never done anal before then the strap-on may be a bit too far. In that case, toys like prostate massagers are smaller and easily inserted into the anus. Or vibrators can be used externally on the perineum with a finger inserted in the anus for double the pleasure.
How to Give a Prostate Massage to Yourself
While prostate massage is fun with a partner, it can also be done solo. This is a great way to get used to the sensations before you try with a partner.
With Your Fingers
When giving yourself a prostate massage, it’s always a good idea to explore using your fingers first. This will give you a good idea of where the prostate is, as well as what prostate stimulation feels like. After all, you don’t want to go from 0 to 100 with a prostate vibrator on your first try.
There are two ways to stimulate the prostate, external and internal.
To stimulate the prostate externally, place two or three fingertips on the perineum. This is the area that separates the genitals and the anus. To locate the prostate, gently press on the perineum. When you get the sensation that you have to pee, you’ve found the right spot. Using your fingers, continue to press and gently massage the area.
To stimulate the prostate internally, you’ll want to lubricate your fingers. Insert one or two fingers into the anus. The prostate is about two inches into the rectum and you’ll notice a change in texture as well as a slight bulge. Once you’ve made contact with the prostate, you can tickle, circle, and tap the gland.
Learn more about anal masturbation.
Dildos, vibrators, and prostate massagers are three options for solo prostate massage.
Unless you’re used to anal play, you may want to skip the dildo to start. Small vibrators and prostate massagers are better options for beginners.
A vibrator can be used externally to stimulate the prostate. This can be combined with internal finger play. There are also prostate massagers for when you’re feeling more adventurous. While the insertion can take some getting used to, it can produce intense prostate orgasms in minutes.
Learn how to make a DIY dildo for easy at-home pleasure.
Additional Tips and Techniques
Here are some tips to make your experience with prostate massage even better.
If you’re new to anal or prostate stimulation, you may be nervous or even slightly uncomfortable. Getting physically comfortable can help to put your mind at ease and get you into the mood for the experience.
If you’ve never considered anal stimulation before, it’s important to be open-minded.
When it comes to male sexuality, the anus is often seen as off-limits for heterosexual men. This could not be further from the truth. The anus, and especially the prostate, can produce immense pleasure that all men should be able to freely enjoy.
Always Use Lube
If you’ll be doing internal prostate stimulation, you should be prepared to use copious amounts of lube at all times.
The anus doesn’t self lubricate. Failure to lubricate properly can be uncomfortable and can also lead to injury or infection. So always have a lubricant on hand and don’t be afraid to use more than you think is necessary.
Best Positions for Prostate Orgasm
Sex positions aren’t just for traditional sex! Try some of these sex positions for your prostate massage.
Doggy style can be done alone or with a partner. Here’s how.
Get on your hands and knees. You can either reach around and slightly twist your torso, or reach under to reach your anus or perineum.
With a Partner
Get on your hands and knees. Have your partner approach from behind.
If you’re new to anal play, this position is 1) comfortable; and 2) makes it easy to locate the prostate.
Lie face down on the bed. Place a bolster pillow, lumbar pillow, or rolled-up towel under your hips. Reach your arm around to reach your anus or perineum. You can also bring one of your legs up slightly (bend the knee towards your torso) to make it easier for the arm on that same side to reach.
With a Partner
Lie face down on the bed. Place a bolster pillow, lumbar pillow, or rolled-up towel under your hips. Have your partner approach from behind.
If you want a face-to-face experience with your partner or if you just prefer to be on your back, then The Hero is a good position to try.
Lie on your back near enough to a wall for one of your legs to reach. Place a bolster pillow, lumbar pillow, or rolled-up towel under your buttocks. Bend the knee of one leg and place the other leg on the wall so it’s lifted up. Reach forward to reach your anus or perineum.
With a Partner
Lie on your back. Place a bolster pillow, lumbar pillow, or rolled-up towel under your buttocks. Your partner will position themself in between your legs. Bend the knee of one leg while your partner lifts your other leg and holds it in place.
When talking about prostate massage, you may see the term prostate milking. This is often used interchangeably with prostate massage, but the two are actually different things entirely.
Prostate massage, as discussed above, is a general term that refers to both external and internal stimulation of the prostate gland. Prostate milking is a more specific term that refers only to the internal stimulation of the prostate.
The ‘milking’ of the prostate is a reference to the milky fluid that can sometimes come from internal massage. This is prostatic fluid.
Prostate milking is considered a more advanced topic than massage. Read our guide on prostate milking to learn more.
From anal fingering the prostate to palpitating the perineum to sex toys, there are plenty of ways to get pleasure from prostate play.
Whether alone or with a partner, prostate massage can lead to a powerful, body-shaking orgasm that you won’t soon forget. While the sensation of prostate massage can take some getting used to, the tips and techniques above will ensure you have a safe, fun experience.