Telling if a woman is faking an orgasm is easy, yet oh so hard. Sometimes, knowing when a partner has really orgasmed can feel like solving a mystery.
Great sex should never involve detective work, which is why I've compiled a list of signs to help you determine if a girl is faking an orgasm.
In this article, we'll cover:
32 Signs of A Real vs. Fake Orgasm
These are the top 32 signs that a woman may exhibit when she's having an orgasm versus when she's faking it.
Disclaimer — I know it's your favorite word. Still, I have to point out that every woman is different, and what is true for one might not be for another.
The signs listed here are generally universal. Still, her signs might be more unique and nuanced than what's on this list.
For example, I had a client whose partner screamed odd phrases when she cums, but moaned when she was faking it. Some women respond differently, and that's where knowing your partner comes in handy.
16 Signs Of Real Orgasms
If your partner has one or more of these signs, chances are she has experienced a REAL orgasm.
- 1She Has Muscle Contractions: Her body, especially her pelvic muscles, will have involuntary contractions. These contractions are usually rhythmic and intense.
- 2Her Breathing Rhythm Changes: She might breathe faster and deeper as she approaches orgasm.
- 3Her Heart Rate Goes Up: Expect an increase in her heart rate as she gets closer to orgasm. Her heart pounding harder is a physical response to her body preparing to cum.
- 4Her Pupils Dilate: Dilated pupils can indicate arousal. This is a natural response to excitement.
- 5Her Eyes Are Rolling & Glazed: She might close her eyes, and they may appear glazed or rollback. This shows her being fully in the moment.
- 6Her Skin Flushes: Her chest and face might flush due to increased blood flow. This is often called the "sex flush."
- 7Her Moans Are Building Up: Her vocalizations may increase in volume and intensity. These sounds are usually spontaneous and uncontrollable.
- 8Her Body Becomes More Sensitive: She might react intensely to touch and stimulation. Her increased sensitivity can lead to stronger pleasure and, eventually, an orgasm.
- 9She Feels Relaxed Afterwards: Post orgasm, she may feel a sense of relaxation and contentment. This calmness is a common aftereffect.
- 10She Feels Hot And Sweaty: Expect her to feel warmer and possibly sweat more during an orgasm. This is a result of her physical exertion and excitement.
- 11Her Vagina Starts To Clench: Her vaginal muscles may contract rhythmically. These contractions are often a clear sign of orgasm.
- 12She Can’t Control Her Facial Expressions: Her facial expressions might become more intense and uncontrollable.
- 13She Looks Happier Afterwards: After a real orgasm, she often looks happier and more satisfied.
- 14She Feels A Bit Weak After Your Session: She might feel slightly weak or exhausted post-orgasm. This is due to the physical and emotional energy expended.
- 15She Tells You She Had An Orgasm: If she openly says that she had an orgasm, take her word for it. If you have a safe space in the relationship, it's unlikely she'd lie about this.
- 16She Initiates Sex With You Next Time: If she initiates sex again, it can be a sign that she’s satisfied and looking forward to another fun experience.
16 Signs Of Fake Orgasms
Sometimes, women might FAKE orgasms for various reasons. If she shows any of these tell-tale signs, she might not be genuinely reaching orgasm.
- 1She Orgasms At Exactly The Same Time As You: If she ALWAYS climaxes at the same moment you do, it might be too synchronized to be real. Genuine orgasms often come (pun intended) unexpectedly or at varying times.
- 2She Comes Every Time (Multiple Times): While some women can have multiple orgasms, it's not always the case every single time. If she claims to orgasm every single time, it might be a sign she's faking.
- 3She Is Screaming Like A Porn Star: Overly exaggerated moaning and screaming, like in porn, can be a sign of faking it. Real orgasms often involve more natural and varied vocalizations. Likewise, if she's silent.. she probably did not have an orgasm, either.
- 4She Can Communicate In-Depth & Detail With You: During a real orgasm, she might struggle to form coherent sentences. If she can talk clearly and in detail, it might not be genuine.
- 5Her Breath is Shallow: Genuine orgasms usually come with deep, rapid breathing. If her breathing remains shallow, she might not be experiencing a true orgasm.
- 6She Is Completely Dry: Lack of lubrication can be a sign she's not genuinely aroused. Real orgasms are usually accompanied by increased wetness.
- 7Her Body Feels Relaxed Before She “Orgasms”: If her body seems relaxed and calm right before she claims to orgasm, it might not be real. Real orgasms involve muscle tension and buildup.
- 8You Are Changing Things Up The Moment She “Comes”: If she suddenly “comes” when you change techniques or positions, it might be an attempt to fake it.
- 9You Have To Ask “Did You Cum?”: If you find yourself unsure and having to ask if she climaxed, it could be a sign she faked it. Genuine orgasms are usually more apparent.
- 10She Hesitates To Talk About The Experience Afterwards: If she avoids discussing sex afterward, it might be because she faked her orgasm. Genuine satisfaction usually leads to open and positive discussions.
- 11She Doesn’t Want To See You Again: If she avoids further encounters, it could indicate she wasn’t genuinely satisfied. Real pleasure often leads to a desire for more intimacy.
- 12She Can’t Look You In The Eyes Afterwards: Avoiding eye contact after sex can be a sign of dishonesty. Genuine orgasms typically lead to a feeling of closeness and connection.
- 13She Is On Various Substances: Medications, drugs, or alcohol can affect her ability to orgasm. If she's on these substances, it might be harder for her to climax genuinely.
- 14Suddenly She Wants You To Change Everything Up: Abruptly asking for major changes in technique when she claims to be close to orgasm can be a sign of faking.
- 15She Looks Uncomfortable When Someone Mentions Faking It: If she seems uneasy when the topic of faking orgasms comes up, she might be guilty of it.
- 16She Constantly Talks About Multi-Orgasmic Friends: Frequently mentioning friends who have multiple orgasms might be a way to deflect from her own inability to orgasm. Real satisfaction doesn’t require comparisons.
If your partner has any of these 32 signs, you might be the luckiest (or unluckiest guy, depending on which part of the list you fall under) in the world.
Andrew's Guide To Understanding Female Arousal
After teaching thousands of men to become better in bed, hearing their stories and helping them solve their relationship and sex life issues, I can confidently share the following guide to understand female arousal with you.
Knowing how her body responds to stimulation can help you make her feel more satisfied and will ultimately lead to actual orgasms for her, so you never have to worry about her faking it ever again.
To do that, you need to know;
Now, let's jump straight into it.
I. Types of Female Orgasms
An orgasm is a peak of sexual pleasure. Typically, there is an intense sensation and vaginal contractions.
Compared to male orgasms, female orgasms can be more varied and may last longer.
During an orgasm, she will experience;
II. Female Pleasure Zones
Female pleasure zones include various parts of the genitals that respond to touch and stimulation.
Women can experience different types of orgasms, each with unique triggers and responses.
Here are some common types:
III. Female Sex Drive
A woman's sex drive can vary due to several factors, including hormonal shifts and emotional well-being.
By being aware of these important aspects, you can better understand her sexual needs and body. It ultimately allows you to facilitate experiences that will make her cum.
I know you may want to focus on just techniques. However, trust me when I say it's only part of the picture. A women is complex.
There are things outside of great techniques in the bedroom that can make or hinder her ability to cum the better you understand female arousal the higher are your chances of experiencing real orgasms.
Isabel
SEXUALITY COACH
on WHY Women Fake Orgasms
Isabel here. I've worked with men and some of their female partners alongside my husband in one-on-one sessions and our in-person retreats.
And I have the benefit of being a woman myself, so I can share with you a few reasons why she might be faking a female orgasm.
I. She Doesn’t Feel Comfortable To Share The Truth
Sometimes, she might not feel comfortable sharing that she didn't orgasm.
This could be because she thinks she might hurt your feelings or make things a little awkward between you and her.
Solution
II. She Doesn’t Feel Enough Emotional Connection Yet
If she doesn't feel an emotional connection with you, she might fake a female orgasm to avoid deeper issues or because she doesn’t feel close enough to you to express her true feelings.
Solution
III. She Doesn’t Feel Close Enough To Share Her Needs
She might fake an orgasm because she doesn't feel comfortable or close enough to you to share what she needs in bed.
This could be because your relationship is new or you've just not interacted enough with each other in a sexual way.
Solution
IV. She Wants It To Be Over
Sometimes, she just wants the sex to be over.
This could be because it isn’t pleasurable, she’s in pain, or she has other things on her mind like the dirty dishes, children, work, or even that one missed call from her mother.
Solution
V. She Doesn’t Want To Offend Or Hurt You
She might fake an orgasm because she doesn't want to offend or hurt your feelings if you do not give her one.
She worries about causing you disappointment or insecurity because, for a lot of men, giving a woman an orgasm is an important part of their manhood.
Solution
VI. She Is Not In The Mood
If she’s not in the mood for sex but goes along with it anyway, she might fake an orgasm to get it over with quickly.
Solution
VII. She Is Stuck In Her Mind
Sometimes, she gets lost in her thoughts and can't fully engage in the moment with you, making it hard to reach a real orgasm.
Solution
VIII. She Feels Embarrassed
She might feel embarrassed about her body or sexual performance, leading her to fake an orgasm to avoid feeling self-conscious.
Some women believe having an orgasm is important for their self-image. If it does not happen, she might feel like she failed or couldn't give you the experience both you and her wanted.
Solution
IX. She Feels Pressured To Perform
She might feel pressured to orgasm because of societal expectation or perceived pressure from you.
Solution
X. She Never Had A Real Orgasm Before
If she’s never had a real orgasm, she might fake it because she doesn't know what it's supposed to feel like or how to achieve it.
Solution
XI. She Is Not There Yet, But You Are Done Already
If she’s not close to orgasm but you are done, she might fake it to avoid extending sex for your comfort and pleasure.
Solution
The point of these techniques is to find what works for her. You might need to make your way down the list or only use one of them before you strike gold.
Let me know how it goes in the comments.
Frequently Asked Questions
What more is there to know about orgasms? A few things. Below, you'll find your burning hot questions, pulled from my years of experience as a sex and relationship coach.
Unlock more sex tips, expert advice, and exclusive content! Subscribe to our newsletter and stay informed with the latest insights discreetly delivered to your inbox. Don’t miss out – join our community now and stay ahead of the game!
