How to Tell If a Girl Is Faking An Orgasm: 32 Must-Know Signs!

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How to Tell If a Girl Is Faking An Orgasm: 32 Must-Know Signs!

Telling if a woman is faking an orgasm is easy, yet oh so hard. Sometimes, knowing when a partner has really orgasmed can feel like solving a mystery. 

Great sex should never involve detective work, which is why I've compiled a list of signs to help you determine if a girl is faking an orgasm. 

In this article, we'll cover:

  • Different signs that she might be faking an orgasm and why
  • Female arousal and how it relates to having an orgasm 
  • What to do if she's faking an orgasm

32 Signs of A Real vs. Fake Orgasm

These are the top 32 signs that a woman may exhibit when she's having an orgasm versus when she's faking it. 

Disclaimer — I know it's your favorite word. Still, I have to point out that every woman is different, and what is true for one might not be for another.

The signs listed here are generally universal. Still, her signs might be more unique and nuanced than what's on this list.

For example, I had a client whose partner screamed odd phrases when she cums, but moaned when she was faking it. Some women respond differently, and that's where knowing your partner comes in handy. 

16 Signs Of Real Orgasms 

If your partner has one or more of these signs, chances are she has experienced a REAL orgasm.

  1. 1
    She Has Muscle Contractions: Her body, especially her pelvic muscles, will have involuntary contractions. These contractions are usually rhythmic and intense.
  2. 2
    Her Breathing Rhythm Changes: She might breathe faster and deeper as she approaches orgasm. 
  3. 3
    Her Heart Rate Goes Up: Expect an increase in her heart rate as she gets closer to orgasm. Her heart pounding harder is a physical response to her body preparing to cum.
  4. 4
    Her Pupils Dilate: Dilated pupils can indicate arousal. This is a natural response to excitement.
  5. 5
    Her Eyes Are Rolling & Glazed: She might close her eyes, and they may appear glazed or rollback. This shows her being fully in the moment.
  6. 6
    Her Skin Flushes: Her chest and face might flush due to increased blood flow. This is often called the "sex flush."
  7. 7
    Her Moans Are Building Up: Her vocalizations may increase in volume and intensity. These sounds are usually spontaneous and uncontrollable.
  8. 8
    Her Body Becomes More Sensitive: She might react intensely to touch and stimulation. Her increased sensitivity can lead to stronger pleasure and, eventually, an orgasm.
  9. 9
    She Feels Relaxed Afterwards: Post orgasm, she may feel a sense of relaxation and contentment. This calmness is a common aftereffect.
  10. 10
    She Feels Hot And Sweaty: Expect her to feel warmer and possibly sweat more during an orgasm. This is a result of her physical exertion and excitement.
  11. 11
    Her Vagina Starts To Clench: Her vaginal muscles may contract rhythmically. These contractions are often a clear sign of orgasm.
  12. 12
    She Can’t Control Her Facial Expressions: Her facial expressions might become more intense and uncontrollable.
  13. 13
    She Looks Happier Afterwards: After a real orgasm, she often looks happier and more satisfied. 
  14. 14
    She Feels A Bit Weak After Your Session: She might feel slightly weak or exhausted post-orgasm. This is due to the physical and emotional energy expended.
  15. 15
    She Tells You She Had An Orgasm: If she openly says that she had an orgasm, take her word for it. If you have a safe space in the relationship, it's unlikely she'd lie about this.
  16. 16
    She Initiates Sex With You Next Time: If she initiates sex again, it can be a sign that she’s satisfied and looking forward to another fun experience.

16 Signs Of Fake Orgasms 

Sometimes, women might FAKE orgasms for various reasons. If she shows any of these tell-tale signs, she might not be genuinely reaching orgasm.

  1. 1
    She Orgasms At Exactly The Same Time As You: If she ALWAYS climaxes at the same moment you do, it might be too synchronized to be real. Genuine orgasms often come (pun intended) unexpectedly or at varying times. 
  2. 2
    She Comes Every Time (Multiple Times): While some women can have multiple orgasms, it's not always the case every single time. If she claims to orgasm every single time, it might be a sign she's faking.
  3. 3
    She Is Screaming Like A Porn Star: Overly exaggerated moaning and screaming, like in porn, can be a sign of faking it. Real orgasms often involve more natural and varied vocalizations. Likewise, if she's silent.. she probably did not have an orgasm, either.
  4. 4
    She Can Communicate In-Depth & Detail With You: During a real orgasm, she might struggle to form coherent sentences. If she can talk clearly and in detail, it might not be genuine.
  5. 5
    Her Breath is Shallow: Genuine orgasms usually come with deep, rapid breathing. If her breathing remains shallow, she might not be experiencing a true orgasm.
  6. 6
    She Is Completely Dry: Lack of lubrication can be a sign she's not genuinely aroused. Real orgasms are usually accompanied by increased wetness.
  7. 7
    Her Body Feels Relaxed Before She “Orgasms”: If her body seems relaxed and calm right before she claims to orgasm, it might not be real. Real orgasms involve muscle tension and buildup.
  8. 8
    You Are Changing Things Up The Moment She “Comes”: If she suddenly “comes” when you change techniques or positions, it might be an attempt to fake it.
  9. 9
    You Have To Ask “Did You Cum?”: If you find yourself unsure and having to ask if she climaxed, it could be a sign she faked it. Genuine orgasms are usually more apparent.
  10. 10
    She Hesitates To Talk About The Experience Afterwards: If she avoids discussing sex afterward, it might be because she faked her orgasm. Genuine satisfaction usually leads to open and positive discussions.
  11. 11
    She Doesn’t Want To See You Again: If she avoids further encounters, it could indicate she wasn’t genuinely satisfied. Real pleasure often leads to a desire for more intimacy.
  12. 12
    She Can’t Look You In The Eyes Afterwards: Avoiding eye contact after sex can be a sign of dishonesty. Genuine orgasms typically lead to a feeling of closeness and connection.
  13. 13
    She Is On Various Substances: Medications, drugs, or alcohol can affect her ability to orgasm. If she's on these substances, it might be harder for her to climax genuinely.
  14. 14
    Suddenly She Wants You To Change Everything Up: Abruptly asking for major changes in technique when she claims to be close to orgasm can be a sign of faking. 
  15. 15
    She Looks Uncomfortable When Someone Mentions Faking It: If she seems uneasy when the topic of faking orgasms comes up, she might be guilty of it.
  16. 16
    She Constantly Talks About Multi-Orgasmic Friends: Frequently mentioning friends who have multiple orgasms might be a way to deflect from her own inability to orgasm. Real satisfaction doesn’t require comparisons.

If your partner has any of these 32 signs, you might be the luckiest (or unluckiest guy, depending on which part of the list you fall under) in the world. 

Andrew's Guide To Understanding Female Arousal

After teaching thousands of men to become better in bed, hearing their stories and helping them solve their relationship and sex life issues, I can confidently share the following guide to understand female arousal with you. 

Knowing how her body responds to stimulation can help you make her feel more satisfied and will ultimately lead to actual orgasms for her, so you never have to worry about her faking it ever again.

To do that, you need to know;

  • What type of orgasms can she experience
  • How female arousal works
  • Her pleasure zones
  • How does her sex drive differ from yours

Now, let's jump straight into it. 

I. Types of Female Orgasms 

An orgasm is a peak of sexual pleasure. Typically, there is an intense sensation and vaginal contractions.


Compared to male orgasms, female orgasms can be more varied and may last longer


During an orgasm, she will experience;

  • ExcitementThis is the phase before orgasm, where things are building up. 
  • Plateau: This is the phase after or right before orgasm. Notice the difference between men (learn more about men's orgasms) and women. This is why women have an easier time having multiple orgasms than men.
  • Orgasm: A woman can orgasm multiple times. Notice how she goes back to the Plateau stage instead of immediately falling down to base levels like most men.

II. Female Pleasure Zones

Female pleasure zones include various parts of the genitals that respond to touch and stimulation. 

  • Clitoris: Highly sensitive and essential for most women to reach orgasm.
  • Labia: The inner and outer lips surrounding the vagina. 
  • G-Spot: Located inside the vagina on the front wall and may cause powerful orgasms.
  • Vaginal Opening: The start of the vagina, located beneath the clitoris and urethral opening 
  • Cervix: At the end of the vagina, stimulation can lead to orgasms
  • Anus: For some women, anal stimulation can be pleasurable and give them orgasms.

Women can experience different types of orgasms, each with unique triggers and responses.


Here are some common types:

  • Clitoral Orgasm: Triggered by direct stimulation of the clitoris.
  • Vaginal Orgasm: Caused by penetration, particularly by stimulating the G-spot.
  • Blended Orgasm: Combines clitoral and vaginal stimulation. 
  • Anal Orgasm: Results from stimulating the anus and can be very pleasurable for some women. 

III. Female Sex Drive 

A woman's sex drive can vary due to several factors, including hormonal shifts and emotional well-being. 

  • Menstrual Cycle: Throughout her menstrual cycle, she naturally moves through phases of higher and lower estrogen levels, which affect her libido and the likelihood of orgasm.
  • Hormonal Shifts: Events like menopause, pregnancy, or consumption of medications can cause hormonal shifts that may influence her ability to orgasm.
  • Orgasmic Responses: These are created in her brain and are impacted by hormonal changes, stress, and emotional factors. If she isn't able to relax and focus on the sensations in her body, her brain will not trigger the expected orgasmic or sexual response. 

By being aware of these important aspects, you can better understand her sexual needs and body. It ultimately allows you to facilitate experiences that will make her cum.

I know you may want to focus on just techniques. However, trust me when I say it's only part of the picture. A women is complex.

There are things outside of great techniques in the bedroom that can make or hinder her ability to cum the better you understand female arousal the higher are your chances of experiencing real orgasms.

Isabel

SEXUALITY COACH

A Woman's Perspective... 

on WHY Women Fake Orgasms
from Isabel
SEXUALITY COACH

Isabel here. I've worked with men and some of their female partners alongside my husband in one-on-one sessions and our in-person retreats.

And I have the benefit of being a woman myself, so I can share with you a few reasons why she might be faking a female orgasm.

I. She Doesn’t Feel Comfortable To Share The Truth 

Sometimes, she might not feel comfortable sharing that she didn't orgasm.


This could be because she thinks she might hurt your feelings or make things a little awkward between you and her.

Solution

Create a safe space for her where communication is encouraged.

II. She Doesn’t Feel Enough Emotional Connection Yet

If she doesn't feel an emotional connection with you, she might fake a female orgasm to avoid deeper issues or because she doesn’t feel close enough to you to express her true feelings.

Solution

Spend time building an emotional connection outside of sex. Focus on doing activities together, being there for her, and showing genuine interest in her and her likes.

III. She Doesn’t Feel Close Enough To Share Her Needs 

She might fake an orgasm because she doesn't feel comfortable or close enough to you to share what she needs in bed.

This could be because your relationship is new or you've just not interacted enough with each other in a sexual way.

Solution

Build a sexual connection slowly. Start gently and incorporate different things in the bedroom each time, ask for her feedback, and pay close attention to how she reacts. 

IV. She Wants It To Be Over 

Sometimes, she just wants the sex to be over.


This could be because it isn’t pleasurable, she’s in pain, or she has other things on her mind like the dirty dishes, children, work, or even that one missed call from her mother.

Solution

Pay attention to her body language and read the room. Sometimes, it just is not the right time for sex.

It has nothing to do with you personally. If she seems uncomfortable or disinterested, ask her if she wants to stop, and don't get resentful if she says 'yes.'

V. She Doesn’t Want To Offend Or Hurt You

She might fake an orgasm because she doesn't want to offend or hurt your feelings if you do not give her one.


She worries about causing you disappointment or insecurity because, for a lot of men, giving a woman an orgasm is an important part of their manhood. 

Solution

Reassure her that honesty is more important than performance. Let her know that you value her genuine experience over faking pleasure.

VI. She Is Not In The Mood 

If she’s not in the mood for sex but goes along with it anyway, she might fake an orgasm to get it over with quickly.

Solution

Check in with her before and during sex. If you sense something is "off," it might be a good time to stop and talk.

VII. She Is Stuck In Her Mind

Sometimes, she gets lost in her thoughts and can't fully engage in the moment with you, making it hard to reach a real orgasm.

Solution

Help her relax and focus on the present.

That might mean reassuring her of a certain problem or situation, solving the problem if it's small right then and there, talking a bit more before sex to let her vent, or something simple like taking phones out of the bedroom or turning off the TV. 

VIII. She Feels Embarrassed

She might feel embarrassed about her body or sexual performance, leading her to fake an orgasm to avoid feeling self-conscious.


Some women believe having an orgasm is important for their self-image. If it does not happen, she might feel like she failed or couldn't give you the experience both you and her wanted. 

Solution

Show her you care about her outside of sex. Make sure your relationship isn't purely based on it and that you have a connection beyond the bedroom.

This could mean going back to basics: date nights. 

IX. She Feels Pressured To Perform 

She might feel pressured to orgasm because of societal expectation or perceived pressure from you.  

Solution

Remove any pressure to perform. Make it clear that sex is not about orgasms, goals, or agendas. 

X. She Never Had A Real Orgasm Before

If she’s never had a real orgasm, she might fake it because she doesn't know what it's supposed to feel like or how to achieve it.

Solution

Reassure her that you're there for her regardless of her sexual experience. Take things slowly. Focus on sexual activities where she doesn't feel the need to orgasm.

XI. She Is Not There Yet, But You Are Done Already 

If she’s not close to orgasm but you are done, she might fake it to avoid extending sex for your comfort and pleasure.

Solution

Tell her that you don't mind to keep going to help her orgasm.

This could mean giving yourself a break before more action or switching to other methods to help her orgasm, like giving her oral sex or stimulating her with your fingers or a toy.

These are just a few reasons why she might be faking it. It's always best to talk it out with your partner.

There's usually something nuanced and specific to her situation and experiences that a general article can't cover. You know your partner best.

When in doubt, get her input without putting the blame on her.

The point of these techniques is to find what works for her. You might need to make your way down the list or only use one of them before you strike gold.

Let me know how it goes in the comments.

Frequently Asked Questions

What more is there to know about orgasms? A few things. Below, you'll find your burning hot questions, pulled from my years of experience as a sex and relationship coach. 

I said something to her, and now she is shut down. What can I do?

Stay calm, give her space, and apologize. Listen to her feelings without interrupting or defending yourself. Show that you care and want to fix things.

Can I feel it when she cums?

Yes, you might feel her body reacting. Her muscles might tighten and contract, and her breathing or sounds may change. Each woman’s experience is different, and so is yours, so you may not always feel it clearly.

What does it feel like for a woman to orgasm?

An orgasm for a woman can feel like a wave with muscle contractions, a warm or tingling sensation, and a sense of release. The experience varies from person to person, however.

What is the best way to make her orgasm?

Pay attention to what she likes and talk about it. Focus on foreplay, use a consistent rhythm that she likes, and stimulate certain areas (her clit, breasts, G-spot). 

Can women cum from penetrative sex?

Yes, some women can orgasm from penetrative sex, but not all. It depends on the position, technique, and amount of foreplay.

Do men and women fake orgasms?

Yes, both men and women sometimes fake orgasms. There are reasons, talked about above, why a woman might fake an orgasm. A man might for similar reasons. 

How do we end sex without orgasm?

You can end sex without orgasm by slowing down and transitioning into cuddle positions or just by slowing down, talking, and just holding each other. Never pressure yourself or her to cum. It just doesn't happen sometimes, and you don't need it to enjoy sex.

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Andrew Mioch

Andrew Mioch is one of the world’s leading sex coaches and best-selling author after spending 10 years learning from experts all over the world.

Currently pursuing his Master’s Degree in Sexology, Andrew has personally coached over 5,000 men. His expertise is regularly sought in publications such as Men's Health, Medium, and Cosmopolitan Magazine.

These days, Andy spends most of his time coaching clients privately and also through SQL’s online Mastery Academy.


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