Making a woman cum feels like the biggest mystery in the world.
Yet, I and the countless clients that I've taught over the years know otherwise.
Making a woman cum is easy when you use techniques that actually work (I'll teach them to you today), get ready and follow these for mind-blowing results that speak for themselves.
In this article, we'll cover:
Understanding The Female Orgasm Spots
Before we get into the "how to", let's focus on the foundation first: Here are the key spots to touch and how to stimulate them to help her cum.
The vaginal opening is at the entrance of the vagina. It is hidden underneath her labia, the two lips on each side of her opening. To turn her on, gently massage and tease the area around her opening, play with her lips and softly tease the entrance without forcing your finger inside.
The clitoris pearl is found at the top of the vulva, just above the vaginal opening. There are also the wishbone-shaped wings of the clitoris that are located internally on each side of her vaginal opening. Use your fingers or tongue to touch the clitoris pearl with circular motions, gentle flicks, or steady pressure but be careful this little spot has thousands of nerve endings and is very sensitive.
The G-Spot is inside her vagina, on the upper wall, about 2-3 inches inside. The texture is different from the surrounding tissues. During arousal, it can get engulfed and is a treasure of pleasure for most women. Stimulating it with your fingers and applying consistent pressure can help her reach orgasm or even a squirting orgasm.
Located at the end of the vaginal canal. It kinda hovers in the middle and feels a bit like the tip of the nose when you touch it. Some women enjoy deep penetration that stimulates the cervix others feel pain and discomfort when you thrust against it. Something I like to do is massaging her cervix, by inserting one or two fingers and gently touching it instead of poking it with the tip of your cock during penetration.
Fun Fact: The cervix moves throughout her cycle, sometimes it is further up and sometimes further down so you might not be able to reach it every time.
Yes, her backdoor, the anal opening is located just below the vaginal opening. There are tons of nerve endings coming together, which is why some people get aroused when stimulating this area. If you are exploring her ass for the first time, I suggest starting with gentle rimming (using your tongue) or massaging with well-lubricated fingers to help her orgasm.
Now that you are comfortable with her anal opening, the next logical step is to explore inside the anus. The anal canal is as the name says inside her rectum and no, you will not touch her poop. Of course, chances are that mishaps happen but especially when hygiene is a priority you both should be fine. Golden rule: If she's comfortable with anal sex or anal play, use well-lubricated fingers or toys.
Before I deep dive into how to make a woman cum, my wife and our female sexuality coach Isabel, will share her perspective. She also has the added benefit of having "the bits" herself so listen closely..
I. Understanding Female Arousal
The image below compares the arousal patterns of men and women to highlight how they are different. Look at the four areas: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.
Female Arousal
Male Arousal
As you can see the arousal and orgasm in females are quite different from a male orgasm. Specifically after the plateau stage, the curve differs tremendously, especially if the man isn't trained in semen retention.
Without this knowledge, even the best technique will not help to make her cum.
II. Why The Time Of The Month Matters For Women
A woman will cum more easily, depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
Her cycle is typically 28 days, and during that time, her arousal increases and also can sharply decrease.
This image shows the changes in a woman's sex drive (red) throughout her menstrual cycle, showing the influence of estrogen (black) and progesterone levels (grey).
These are the key points shown here.
Understanding these hormonal influences can help in recognizing patterns in sexual desire.
Knowing those patterns can make it easier for you to plan when it's best to use the following techniques to help her orgasm.
Andrew's Ultimate Guide To Make Her Cum
Now we've got the theory out of the way, let's get into the good stuff.
After coaching thousands of men, I now understand great sex and orgasms always start with the build-up (i.e., foreplay).
Foreplay does the heavy lifting at the start so that you can sit back, relax, and reap the results at the end.
Why it works
Moreover, it pulls her out of her mind and into the moment. Get her to be present in the here and now.
Jumping straight into vaginal penetration is not the way to start with foreplay. Instead, the number one foreplay technique for making a woman connect with her body and orgasm is a pussy massage.
I. Start with a Pussy Massage
A pussy massage (aka fingering her) is a master's technique for making a woman orgasm because it;
Follow these steps to give her an unforgettable experience.
Step 1: Apply Lube
Step 2: Hold
Step 3: Copy Slide
Step 4: G-Day Mate
Step 5: Inner Circle
Step 6: Christopher Columbus
Step 7: Spiderman
The key to getting a pussy massage to work is never to rush, always pay attention to her responses, and adjust as needed.
II. Eat Her Pussy Like a Champion
Now that you've got her warmed up with a sensual pussy massage. Move on to oral sex.
Why it works
Women especially love cunnilingus when their man loves giving oral!
A man who hates eating a woman out will make her feel awkward, embarrassed, insecure, or turned off.
As you go down on her, use different techniques with your tongue and mouth.
After you have warmed her up properly and maybe even given her an orgasm or two by using the techniques mentioned above, she is most likely ready for penetrative sex.
III. Time For The Main Event (Sex)
Penetrative sex alone is enough to make her cum if done correctly. The right positions and movements can make women orgasm, especially if paired with another technique, such as sex toys or oral sex.
Top 2 Positions
The top sex positions for orgasms are Cowgirl and Missionary.
Yes — that Missionary. Trust me, when it's done as instructed below, it's one of the best sex positions for orgasms.
Elevated Missionary
Elevated Missionary
Normal Missionary is good, but elevated Missionary is even better. This changes the angle of penetration.
Place a pillow under her butt to elevate her hips. This angle helps you hit her G-spot and provides better clitoral stimulation during intercourse.
Keep the movements steady and rhythmic.
Cowgirl
How To Move Inside Her
There are two main ways to move inside a woman.
Thrusting focuses on friction while grinding creates a suction effect.
When trusting, use the tick-tick boom or 3-quarter pumps method.
Ask her to use her pelvic muscles to hold and squeeze you, or tense yours to give her additional sensations inside her vagina. If she’s close, keep your movements consistent.
IV. Add Some Fun: Sex Toys
Sometimes, you might want to spice things up to get her arousal to the next level. I personally love adding some sex toys to the mix at times.
If that's the case for you too, these are my top favorite sex toys on the market.
This powerful vibrator goes on her clitoris for strong stimulation. Start with a low setting and increase based on her reactions. Personally, I had huge success with this one, the wand is a universal winner for most women, especially if they like stronger vibrational stimulation. Be creative you can use the wand all over her and your body.
This toy is designed to hit the G-spot. Insert it into her vagina and angle it towards the upper wall, moving it in small circles or pressing hard against her spot. This is the #1 toy I recommend to my clients, when they look for toys to make her squirt. The different vibration settings can add to the experience and heighten the stimulation.
This suction toy comes in different shapes and forms, I love the design of a rose. It just adds a bit of romance to it. A clit suction device, as the name says goes over her clitoris. It creates a gentle sucking sensation that mimics oral sex. Especially women who prefer gentler clitoral stimulation love this toy.
Once you figure out what she likes most, maintain steady pressure and a consistent rhythm.
Avoid switching it up because women cannot orgasm if you change techniques every 3 seconds.
The reason is very simple. Most women need a lot of time to cum.
So if you change it up frequently, she's not going to get enough of what she needs to actually let go and orgasm.
Advanced Methods To Make Her Cum
Less is not always more.
To make a woman cum, you might have to try out a few more techniques in the bedroom and see how things go.
These methods focus on unique sensations, dynamics, and practices to help her reach orgasm.
I. Erotic Massages
Start with a general massage to help her relax, then gradually move to more sensitive areas like her neck, inner thighs, and breasts.
Use a good massage oil to keep your hands gliding smoothly over her skin. Pay attention to her responses and spend more time on the areas that make her moan or sigh.
II. Stimulate Her Anus
Start by rimming, which involves using your tongue to circle and stimulate her anus.
Or just use a well-lubricated finger to massage the area during oral or vaginal sex. If she’s comfortable, try using anal toys.
III. Power Play Dynamics
Being assertive and manhandling her lets her focus on feeling rather than thinking.
Use a firm but gentle touch, give clear commands, and create a safe space where she fully lets go. This type of play lets her be within her body instead of her mind.
IV. Edging & Orgasm Denial
Edging brings her close to orgasm, and then backs off before she climaxes. This technique makes her final orgasm much more intense.
Use a combination of stimulation and teasing, paying attention to her body language and sounds. Repeat this cycle several times before finally letting her orgasm.
V. Rough Play
Rough play, such as hair-pulling, spanking, and light biting, can be a major turn-on for many women out there.
However, always communicate and set boundaries beforehand. Having a safe word might also be required, depending on what activities you decide on.
Start gently and gradually increase the intensity, watching for her reactions. This type of play makes her orgasms more powerful by adding an element of raw, physical excitement.
VI. Roleplay
Roleplaying is when you try different characters and scenarios. Choose roles that turn you both on, and set the scene with costumes or props.
By putting on a different persona, she feels freer and more adventurous. Sometimes that's what's missing and why she's not able to cum.
VII. Impact Play
Hands, paddles, or whips can cause some pain, which can also be arousing by increasing blood flow and sensitivity to that area.
Always establish safe words and limits.
Start with light taps and increase intensity as she becomes more comfortable. The combination of pain and pleasure leads to intense orgasms.
Above, you'll find a few tools you could use for impact play.
Final Tips from A Sex Coach To Make Her Cum
Emotional and psychological aspects are just as important as the physical ones when it comes to making a woman cum.
Creating a connection and making her feel comfortable can make a big difference. The physical part is easy; getting her mind and emotions in the right place is where the real work is.
I. Create A Safe Space
Make sure she feels safe and relaxed.
Set the mood with soft lighting, gentle music, and a comfortable environment.
When she feels secure, she can let go and enjoy the experience fully.
II. Unlock Her Mind
Help her be present and focus on the sensations. Encourage her to feel rather than think.
This means taking her out of her head and into her body.
Gentle touches, soft words, and patience can help her relax and be in the moment.
III. Get Your Mindset Right
Don’t go into the bedroom thinking you have to make her cum to prove yourself.
Women can sense insecurity and desperation, which can shut them down.
Be confident and focus on enjoying the experience without putting pressure on yourself or her.
IV. Enjoy Yourself
Focus on enjoying her body for your own pleasure, not just trying to please her.
When you genuinely enjoy yourself, it’s contagious.
She will feel your passion and be more likely to respond positively.
V. Use Your Voice
Talk to her. Reassure her and ask what she likes.
Dirty talk can also be a huge turn-on.
Use your voice to guide her and let her know how much you enjoy being with her. This helps her feel more connected and aroused.
VI. Final Revelation
I know you probably don't want to hear it...
The secret to making a woman cum is that you can't "make" her do anything. Nothing you do will work if she isn't willing to participate and relax.
What you can do is, create a safe and arousing atmosphere, listen to her physical and verbal cues, and help her relax.
When she feels comfortable and turned on, her arousal will rise, making it easier for her to cum.
The good thing about it is, you are not responsible for her orgasms. Good on you that you do want to facilitate a great experience for her, and don't get me wrong I am all for it.
However, don't think it is your fault if you can't make her cum, chances are you are not the only factor that adds to the equation.
Frequently Asked Questions
If you have a few remaining questions, you'll find the answers here.
Focus on making her feel good rather than comparing yourself to others or achieving an agenda or goals.
Ready to take your skills to the next level? Join our exclusive online course “Squirting Triggers” and gain in-depth knowledge with expert guidance, easy-to-follow step-by-step explanations, live demonstrations, and two female perspectives. Don’t just read about it – master it! Enroll today and start transforming your life. Get started Now!