Rubbing Clit: The Ultimate Guide to Pleasing Her

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There are plenty of ways to please your girl and bring her to a screaming, body-twisting orgasm.

You can eat her out. You can stimulate her g-spot. You can penetrate her deep and fast. And so on.

One act that’s often overlooked, though? Clit rubbing. This simple sexual act can make your girl dripping wet, and ensure she’s begging you for more.

Even if you already incorporate rubbing clit into your usual routine, you may have questions, like:

Are you rubbing her clit the ‘right’ way? Are you doing it well?

The answers to these questions, and more, will be answered below.

An Introduction to Clitoral Stimulation

Clitoral stimulation is the act of sexually stimulating your partner (or yourself) by rubbing, tapping, or otherwise playing with the clit. This is an important part of many women’s sexual encounters, especially if they cannot climax through penetration alone.

While clitoral stimulation can be a mystery to many men, it’s not difficult. It’s actually quite easy once you understand what the clitoris is and how it works.

The Anatomy of the Clitoris

The clitoris plays an important role in female sexual pleasure. For many women, it’s the only part of the female anatomy that, when stimulated, will bring them to climax.

But to understand the clitoris, you’ll first need to understand the female anatomy.

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The pubic region of females is actually quite sophisticated.

The clitoris is at the very top of the pubic region. It’s slightly hidden under the outer lips of the vulva, known as the labia.

Diagram of the clitoris location

The clitoris itself is also tucked into its own area, known as the clitoral hood. But more on that further below.

As you use your fingers to trace the labia, you’ll come across a few different structures. The first is the urethra, and just a few inches further you’ll find the vaginal opening.

Now back to the clitoris.

The clitoris is the most sensitive part of the female genitals. It contains millions of nerve endings, similar to the head of the penis.

The part of the region that we refer to as the clitoris is really just the tip of the structure, though. In fact, the majority of the clitoris is internal.

The G-Spot: An Extension of the Clitoris?

The g-spot is a spongy structure that’s found on the upper wall (towards the belly button) just inside the vaginal opening. It swells during arousal which makes it easier to find.

Believe it or not, however, the g-spot wasn’t considered to be a “real” structure until only recently. But through an improved understanding of female sexual arousal, the g-spot’s existence can no longer be ignored.

So what does this have to do with the clitoris?

As mentioned, the clitoris is actually much larger than its outer appearance would have you believe. The majority of the structure is internal.

One part of this internal structure? The g-spot.

Whether the g-spot is actually part of the clitoris, or just part of the clitoral network, is still up for debate. But the fact remains that stimulation of the g-spot can also trigger a clitoral orgasm in some women.

How to Stimulate the Clitoris

Are you ready to learn the techniques that will bring your girl to a quivering climax? Read on!

But First, Lube

It’s common for a woman to naturally produce her own lubrication when she’s aroused. But there’s no such thing as too much lube. This is why I recommend you add in some synthetic lubricant before you even get started.

There are many kinds of lube to choose from, and you can choose it on base, scent, flavor, or a combination of the three.

Scent and flavor can certainly contribute to the experience, though the most “important” component is its base. What does this mean?

  • Water-based. The most versatile lubricant which can be used for just about any sexual act, and even with silicone toys and and most types of condoms.
  • Silicone-based. If you have particularly sensitive skin, then silicone-based is a good choice. It’s even a great option for shower sex! The only downside? Silicone-based lubricants cannot be used with silicone sex toys (go figure) as they’ll breakdown the material.
  • Oil-based. Are you in the market for a long-lasting lube that lasts as long as you? Check out oil-based lubricants! Just be careful when using this with latex condoms as it can increase the odds of breakage.

If you’ll be using a sex toy (more on that later), then water-based lubricant is best. But feel free to experiment with the different kinds of lubricants to see what tickles your (or your girl’s) fancy.

Now, onto the techniques.

Technique #1: The Rub

If you’re looking for a classic move that’s sure not to disappoint, then the rubbing motion is sure to please.

As the name implies, the rubbing motion is a simple movement that involves rubbing the clitoris either up and down or side to side. You can do so at any speed, though it should vary throughout the session for maximum pleasure.

The rub can be done with one finger, two fingers, or even your whole hand. You can also vary how you perform this technique by using just your hand, or even adding in some wrist action.

Technique #2: The Tap

Is your girl close to cumming? Or maybe she’s not a fan of constant and direct contact with your clit. In that case, you should give the tap a try.

Place the palm of your hand on the pubic mound of your partner with your fingers hovering just over her clitoris. Then bring down your index and middle fingers and gently tap the clitoris.

You’ll want to start off slow and gentle, but you can increase speed, intensity, and rhythm as your girl gets into it. And depending on where she is in terms of climax, you can also use the technique to drive her insane.

If she’s right on the edge of climax, you may have the urge to go faster. You can continue in your steady pace as a way to tease her, though, and even as a way to bring her to the edge and then pull her back before she actually climaxes.

Technique #3: The Pinch

While this sounds a bit painful, if done right it can become your girl’s new favorite clit stimulating technique.

The pinch is just as it sounds. Using your fingertips, you gently hold the clit between them and pinch it ever so slightly. This will be a technique that your partner isn’t likely used to, and this can add a bit of spice to your foreplay.

Do you want to kick it up a notch? Add in a slight rolling motion just before the pinch.

You can roll the clitoris back and forth between your fingertips, just be sure not to twist it too far in one direction. This move can trigger new sensations for your girl, however.

Technique #4: The Flick

Just like the above technique, the flick can be painful if done incorrectly. When done right, though, it can bring your girl to an intense clitorial orgasm.

As the name suggests, you’ll use a flicking motion to stimulate her clitoris. The angle at which you flick will vary, but it’s easier to start off at the bottom of the clitoris as opposed to the top.

This technique is also easy to do while eating your girl out. You’ll get the perfect angle for flicking from in between her legs, and the inconsistency combined with your tongue’s thrusts will drive her wild.

Technique #5: The Orbit

It’s true that the tip of the clitoris is the most sensitive part, but that doesn’t mean you need to focus on it exclusively (or even at all). This is where the orbit and similar such techniques come in.

The clitoris, as discussed in a previous section, is actually much larger than it appears. That’s because much of it is hidden below the surface.

Because of this, you can indirectly stimulate her clitoris using an orbital motion. Here’s how.

Place the palm of your hand on her pubic mound with your fingertips just above her clit. Begin by slowly walking your fingers around the perimeter of her clitoral hood and clitoris. You’ll want to keep a decent amount of distance – at least two or three inches – to ensure no direct contact.

You can then change from walking your fingers to gliding them smoothly in a circular motion. Or even tapping them around the perimeter.

If you want to keep her in suspense, you can decrease and increase the perimeter as you go. Start at two or three inches from the clitoris, and slowly bring your fingers in towards the clitoris until you’re almost circling the clitoris itself. Then pull back and begin again.

The suspense will drive your girl crazy.

Technique #6: The Vibe

If vibrators are a common way for women to get off, then why not mimic them during clit play?

To perform the vibe, place the palm of your hand on her pubic mound. Then place your index finger on her clitoris.

Begin by lifting your finger (just a centimeter or two) and placing it back on the clitoris. This will resemble a tapping motion at first. Once you get going, though, you can reduce the height of the lift.

Eventually the distance between your fingertip and her clitoris will be non-existent, and this movement will resemble the vibration of a vibrator.

As you might imagine, this technique isn’t one that can be performed for a long period of time. This is why I’d recommend you use it as a “finishing” move.

What To Do While She Climaxes

You’ve used the techniques above successfully. Great! But what now?

When your girl is climaxing, your job isn’t over just yet. You’ll need to carry her through the climax so she can ride the waves of pleasure. How? By applying pressure.

When his woman orgasms from clit play, a man will do one of two things:

  1. Keep doing what he’s doing; or
  2. Stop entirely.

There’s a third option that most men don’t consider, though, and that’s applying direct pleasure to the clit.

Why is this better than the above mentioned options?

If you keep doing what you were doing to get your girl to climax, it may become “too good” as the clitoris becomes immediately sensitive during climax. This can end her orgasm prematurely.

In a similar way, by stopping entirely you can cut her orgasm short. This is especially true if you stop right as she’s ready to go over the edge.

By applying direct pressure to the clitoris instead, you prolong the pleasure without interfering. You won’t shock the clitoris by taking away contact altogether, but you won’t cause pain from sensitivity, either.

You just need to place your thumb directly onto her clitoris as she cums. You can even “hook” your fingers into the opening of her pussy to hold onto her more securely.

Allow her to ride the waves of pleasure, and just hold her close as she does.

The Best Sex Positions for Clit Rubbing

The great thing about clitoral stimulation is that it can be done in just about any sex position. There are some positions which make it easier, though. Here’s a look at just a few.

The Tabletop

This position opens you up completely to clitoral stimulation, either from yourself or your partner.

Getting into position: Lie in your back with your ass at the very edge of the bed or table. Your partner will then come stand between your legs facing you. He can hold your legs at a heighted angle, or you can place them on his shoulders.

Stimulating the clit: In this position, it’s possible for either you or your partner to reach your clitoris. You can even use a vibrator. And the best thing about this position is you can adjust the width of your legs, as well, for easier access.

Cowgirl

This classic sex move is often overlooked, but it’s one that gives the woman easy access to her clitoris.

Getting into position: The man lies flat on his back. The woman straddles his thighs, facing him, and inserts the man’s penis.

Stimulating the clit: It can be a bit tricky for the man to reach the clitoris in this position simply due to the angling. But the woman can certainly pleasure herself as she rides away on his penis. She can also grind against his pubic mound while his penis is inserted for an extra bit of clitoral stimulation.

Reverse Cowgirl

For a fun twist on the classic cowgirl position, give reverse cowgirl a try.

Getting into position: The man lies flat on his back. The woman straddles his thighs, facing away from him, and inserts the man’s penis.

You can also do a seated version of this position (with the man’s upper back slightly elevated) so he has enough room to reach around and pleasure his girl from behind.

Stimulating the clit: This position is all about female empowerment. And what’s more empowering than being able to please yourself while also riding to your heart’s content?

In the reverse cowgirl, the woman can reach down and rub her clit. She or her partner can also use a vibrator.

Side Saddle

This position was ‘made’ for women who can’t get off without a bit of clitoral stimulation.

Getting into position: The man will lie on his back with his knees slightly bent and relaxed. The woman will then straddle one of his upper thighs facing towards his knee so that her pussy is above his penis and her pubic mound is against his thigh.

Stimulating the clit: As the man pumps into her, she can then grind her clit against his thigh for full-on clitoral stimulation.

The Lotus

A position that looks almost as good as it feels.

Getting into position: The man will sit on his butt with his legs extended in front of him. The woman will straddle the man’s groin and then use her lower legs to support herself. Alternatively, the woman can wrap her legs around the man’s back.

Stimulating the clit: In this position, the pubic mound is in the right spot to be naturally stimulated during sex. This is especially true if the woman uses a grinding motion. But also in this position, the man or woman can rub her clit or use a vibrator.

The Best Oral Sex Positions for Clit Rubbing

Clit rubbing isn’t just for foreplay or during sex. You can even do it while going down on your girl. Here’s a few positions that offer the greatest accessibility to her clit.

The Leg Up

The woman will lie flat on her back with her ass at the edge of the bed. The man will kneel in front of the bed so that his mouth is directly in front of the woman’s pubic mound. The woman will then use one arm to lift up the opposite leg. She’ll likely need to lean forwards slightly to do so.

Pro tip: Prop a pillow under her shoulders to prevent fatigue.

This position really opens up the vulva and gives the man full access to the woman’s pussy. He can wrap one arm around her leg so as to hold her in place, and he can use the other hand to rub and fondle her clitoris.

The Lazy Girl

The woman will sit facing forward on a chair. The man will kneel in front and then sit further so his buttocks are resting on his calves. The woman can then place her legs on his shoulders.

Now it’s time for the woman to lean back and really enjoy it.

You can start nice and slow by kissing her thighs and slowly making your way to her pussy. But if you really want to make her whimper with pleasure, then take it slow and continue to tease her before fully diving in.

Once you get in there, you can then wrap your arm under one leg and over her thigh. If your arm is long enough, you can then use your fingers to rub and tickle her clit.

The Bridge

This is a slight variation of ‘The Leg Up’ position.

In this position, the woman will be standing with one foot on the floor and the other resting on the seat of a chair with her knee bent. The man will get under her and lick her from below.

This position is best for direct oral contact with the vulva. The man can lift up his arm to stimulate the clitoris, though, or the woman can do so herself. The woman can even easily use a vibrator or oral stimulator on the clitoris.

The Role Reversal

How many times has your girl gotten on her knees to suck your dick? Now it’s your time to return the favor.

The role reversal position will see the man kneeling on the floor. The woman will then stand directly in front of him with her pubic mound lined up with his mouth.

The man can then use his angle to directly lick her clitoris, or lick and suck her vulva while rubbing her clit with his thumb.

The best part of this position is that your girl can use her hands to direct and guide you. There’s no guesswork on your part, and there’s plenty of pleasure for her! And if your women is turned on by being in control, then this position is all the better.

The Inverted Sixty Nine

She doesn’t have to have all the fun! You can join in, too, with the inverted sixty nine.

As the name suggests, the inverted sixty nine is a variation of the classic sixty nine position. In this position, she’ll lie on the bed and you’ll straddle her face. She’ll begin to give you a blowjob, and you can then lean forward and go down on her.

Unlike the sixty nine, where the man’s hands aren’t exactly in the greatest position for exploration, the inverted sixty nine gives the man almost full range of motion in his arms. This means he has the ability to flick, tap, and rub her clit while eating out her pussy.

Sex Toys for Rubbing Clit: Vibrators and More

Clitoral rubbing is an excellent way to bring yourself or your partner to climax. It can be tiring, though. That’s where sex toys come in!

Vibrators

I’ve spoken of vibrators throughout the sections above. And for good reason! Vibrators are an excellent sex toy to have in your arsenal, but especially if you (or your partner) can only get off from clitoral stimulation.

A vibrator is a sex toy that, well, vibrates. It’s often a cylindrical tool with a silicone endpiece, though there are many different models. When using a vibrator on the clitoris, it can lead to an intense climax.

Rabbit vibrator in hand

And when combined with penetration, a vibrator can bring your woman to a leg-shaking, mind-numbing orgasm that leaves her begging for more.

Clit Suckers

Clit suckers, sometimes referred to as oral stimulators, are specialized vibrators for the clitoris. Their function is to mimic oral sex, especially as it would feel to a woman if a man were to suck her clit.

The clit sucker has a hollow nub at the end. This nub is placed over the clitoris.

This toy is one that can take some getting used to, and it may be a few sessions before you’re able to use it most effectively. But the end result is well worth it.

Massagers

There are some women who have very sensitive clitorises. This means that direct stimulation can be uncomfortable, or even painful. That doesn’t mean that clitoral stimulation is entirely off the table, though.

A massager can be used to indirectly stimulate the clitoris while also massaging the surrounding area.

You can use a simple three-legged back massager. Place one of the legs just above the clitoris, while the other two will lie on either side of the vulva. There are specialized massagers, though, including those with attached dildos or g-spot stimulators.

G-Spot Stimulators

I’ve mentioned above the g-spot is thought to be an extension of the clitoris, or it’s at least an indirect way of stimulating the clitoris. And because of this, we can’t talk about clitoral stimulation without discussing g-spot stimulators.

A g-spot stimulator is a curved (often silicone) sex toy. When inserted into the vagina, it’ll hit the g-spot at just the right angle and deliver gentle, but arousing, vibrations.

You can combine the g-spot stimulator with a clitoral vibrator. In fact, there are many g-spot stimulator/clitoral vibrator hybrid toys.

This toy is great for solo play, and it’s an easy way for a woman to learn how to give herself g-spot orgasms on her own. It’s also a great tool for women who want to learn how to squirt.

For the Ladies: How to Give Yourself a Mind-blowing Clit Orgasm

If you’re a woman reading this guide, perhaps you think the above information isn’t helpful. After all, it’s largely geared towards couples. But this section is for you!

Find the Right Spot

Sure, you know where your clitoris is. But are you really rubbing it at just the right angle?

The external clitoris is such a small structure that it seems impossible to be rubbing it in the ‘wrong’ spot. But angles can make a huge difference when it comes to clit rubbing.

The easiest way to test out angles is to vary your position during masturbation.

It’s common for a woman to lie flat on her back with her legs extended out straight in front of her while rubbing her clit. This can be great for a quickie, but it doesn’t leave much room for experimentation. The easiest way to experiment, then, is to open your legs at different angles.

Just start by bending your knees slightly so as to push your legs a bit further apart. You can continue to bend your knees and spread your legs as you become more comfortable.

The wider your legs, the greater your access. This means you can test out new clit rubbing techniques. You may find that your clitoris is more sensitive at different angles, too.

So as you follow the clit stimulating techniques above, be sure to experiment with angles. It’s an easy change to your usual routine that can make a huge difference for pleasure.

Experiment

How much do you really know your body? How much do you really know about your likes and dislikes? This is the time to get to know yourself.

You can use the clit rubbing techniques above to get an idea of how you prefer your clit to be played with. Perhaps you’re used to rubbing because it’s often quick and easy. But take the time to experiment with the other techniques, like tapping or orbiting.

The main benefit of experimentation is the instant pleasure you’ll achieve when you find out what things you enjoy. You can also use this knowledge in your future sexual encounters, too. This will remove a lot of guesswork for your partner, and it will be a more enjoyable experience for you and them.

Take Your Time

It’s common to feel as if you don’t have enough time in the day to get everything done. So how can you possibly make time for self pleasure and experimentation?

While it can be difficult to make the time, it’s important for your mental and sexual health.

You should not only carve out some personal time on a regular basis, but you should give yourself a generous amount. This means you can really take the time to focus on the experience. And when you aren’t rushing, you’re more likely to have a mind-blowing climax.

So set aside enough time so that you can get into the mood.

Turn off your phone’s ringer, close the shades, and light some candles. You should then give yourself a few minutes to relax and remove yourself from the day-to-day stresses before you begin.

And once you start, take it nice and slow. You can even practice edging (more on that in a later section) for a truly transcendental feeling.


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Invest in Good Toys

You can buy a vibrator or dildo or oral stimulator online or in stores. And while the majority of them will get the job done, they aren’t all created equal.

Keep in mind that you get what you pay for. This is why I strongly recommend you invest in a high-quality sex toy (or two). If cared for properly, it can last for years.

But why are the qualities to look for in a ‘good’ toy?

  • Waterproof. You’d think this is a quality of most sex toys, but that’s not exactly true. There are many toys which can come into contact with water, but they aren’t 100% waterproof. This means they can be dangerous (when batteries are involved), or they can quickly lose their function. A truly waterproof toy will be one that you can use in many locations (bathtub orgasms, anyone?!), and which can be completely submerged for a thorough cleansing.
  • Detachable. Speaking of a thorough cleansing, if you’re getting anything other than a simple, silicone sex toy, you’ll want it to be detachable. This means that the working parts can detach from each other so you can get in the deepest nooks while sanitizing it. This is for your health, as well as the longevity of the toy.
  • Versatile. This isn’t a ‘must,’ but it’s certainly a good-to-have. A versatile sex toy is one which serves many purposes. Perhaps it’s a dildo that vibrates. Or maybe it’s a g-spot stimulator with separate prongs to stimulate the clitoris. A versatile sex toy will ensure that you get the most for your money.

Those aren’t the only things to consider while you’re shopping for a sex toy. You’ll also want to consider the end goal.

Do you want to climax quickly? Then a bullet vibrator should do the trick. Do you want to have a slow, intense orgasm? Then perhaps an oral stimulator is up your alley. Or maybe you’d like to learn how to squirt? I’d recommend a g-spot stimulator.

The sex toy that’s best for you will rely heavily on what you’re hoping to achieve.

Do It On Your Stomach

I talked above about experimenting with different positions. One position that’s often overlooked is with you turned onto your stomach.

The increased pressure will make the stimulation more intense, and this can lead to a deeper, more satisfying climax.

So flip onto your stomach and place your hand right under your mound.

Your range of motion will be limited, of course, but you can still use your fingertips to rub your clit. While on your stomach, you can even grind onto your hand or use a prop (like a pillow, or a bunched up blanket).

Practice Makes Perfect

You now have a greater understanding of what you like and what you don’t like. But perhaps your last session wasn’t as mindblowing as you’d hoped.

The good news? Just like with anything else, practice makes perfect when it comes to clitoral stimulation.

You should ‘practice’ often, and vary your techniques each time. You don’t ever want to stop experimenting, or else you’ll find yourself in a rut.

Advanced Techniques

Clitoral stimulation isn’t difficult. It can be difficult, however, to keep your sexual encounters fresh and exciting. That’s where these below techniques can come in handy.

Texture Play

Lubricant can ensure that your fingers glide seamlessly across your partner’s (or your own) clitoris. Smooth movements, while effective, aren’t always the most exciting. That’s where texture play comes in.

An easy foray into texture play? A feather.

Feathers are often used in BDSM as a tease. They can be incorporated into your sex life easily, and with great success.

You can begin with the feather as a way to build up the anticipation. This will leave your girl begging you for a more direct touch. Or you can start as usual, introduce the feather, and then alternate as her climax builds up.

There are other textures you can incorporate, too.

Silk offers a light, cool touch. And ribbed dildos can intensify a clit’s sensitivity. You can also utilize other fabrics (like cotton, or fur) or even candle wax.

Pro tip: There are specialty candles for sex that burn (and produce wax) at a lower temperature. This reduces the risk of burns, especially on such sensitive areas of skin.

Temperature Play

Temperature changes can be something that’s easy to do, and with amazing results.

Rub the ice cube on the outer edges of your partner’s pubic mound without touching the clitoris. As she gets used to the temperature, you can bring it closer and closer to the clit until the ice is directly on it.

You can do the same with warm items, such as a warming lubricant or specialty candle wax (as mentioned previously).

Do you want to kick it up even further? Place the ice cube on your partner’s clitoris. Let it melt for a few seconds and then immediately after you remove it, place your mouth over her clit.

You can continue back and forth with the ice cube and your mouth until the cube is completely melted. The shock of temperature changes will bring your girl to a new level of pleasure.

Edging

Edging is the act of bringing your partner to the brink, or edge, of orgasm but then pulling back at the last second so as to avoid climax. This process will be repeated a number of times until you finally allow your partner to experience one of the most intense orgasms of their lives.

This is the perfect technique to use if your partner prefers clitoral stimulation. It keeps them on their toes, and it also results in a full-body orgasm that will leave your partner shaking and begging for more.

To edge your partner, you’ll need to know their verbal and non-verbal cues. This will help you to decide how far is too far, and when to ease back so as to bring your partner back from the brink.

You can incorporate many of the above techniques during your edging sessions, including clit tapping and orbiting. These would be good to reserve for when your partner is coming down from the edge. You can then use more direct methods of stimulation, like rubbing and vibing, as you bring her closer to climax.

The trick is to know when to pull back, and when to finally let your partner climax.

It will take some practice, but it’s a great addition to your sex life for a bit of spice.

Conclusion

The clitoris is one of the most sensitive spots on the female body. It contains millions of nerve endings, and this can mean intense sexual pleasure if stimulated right.

Are you ready for yourself or your partner to experience the most exhaustive climax of their lives?

Whether you’re going it alone, or rubbing your partner’s clit, the tips and techniques above will ensure a powerful, full-body clitoral orgasm.

Do you have any questions? Comments? I’d love to hear them, so please be sure to leave a comment below.

3 thoughts on “Rubbing Clit: The Ultimate Guide to Pleasing Her”

  1. I wanted to find out how to rub a girl’s clit and there are definitely some good ideas. I tried some with my girlfriend and she liked rubbing best. With lube. I asked her to put her fingers over mine and guide me – it’s cheating a bit, but whatever, I made her orgasm so she was happy. Thanks!!!!

    Reply
    • There’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking for guidance! In fact, it’s admirable, so good on you!

      Reply

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