When it comes to sex, arousal is absolutely key for your female partner. When done properly, it will not only get her into the right mind space, but it will also prepare her body for a pleasurable experience.
One of the key ways it does so is by releasing vaginal fluids. These fluids lubricate the vaginal canal and the labia to ensure both you and your lady have an enjoyable time.
The problem too often, however, is that the female arousal process is misunderstood. Some men and even women may feel it’s unnecessary to get fully wet before intercourse. The truth is that wetness makes it a better experience for all involved. And it’s not difficult at all to make her wet if you know what you’re doing.
To learn how to make her wet, as well as getting the answers to frequently asked questions on the topic, read on.
What is Wetness?
When a girl is “wet,” it means she is sexually aroused. This wetness, or arousal fluid, is different from the everyday discharge that women experience.
The Bartholin’s glands are on either side of the opening of the vaginal canal. When a woman is aroused, the glands secrete a mucous that protects the vagina from penetrative intercourse. This makes intercourse comfortable and pleasurable for both partners.
In addition to the mucus secreted by the glands, the increased blood flow will cause the vulva to “sweat.” This leads to wetness within the labia which also contributes to sexual comfortability and pleasure.
How to Make a Girl Wet
While what triggers sexual arousal will vary from woman to woman, there are some universal rules you can follow to make a girl wet. The specifics of each “rule” may vary, but their general practice can encourage wetness during a sexual encounter.
Focus on the Erogenous Zones
In simplest terms, the erogenous zones are particularly sensitive areas of the body that can trigger sexual arousal. In many cases, these spots have more nerve endings which contributes to their natural sensitivity.
The erogenous zones are some of the easiest places to target during foreplay. And the more aroused your partner is, the more sensitive the spots will become.
To briefly recap, the main erogenous zones are as follows:
The lesser known erogenous zones, which may or may not work for different women, are:
- Inner wrist
- Inner elbow
- Behind the knee
These zones are certainly not the only ones to trigger a positive response.They do offer a great place to start, especially if you and your partner are new to each other or new to foreplay.
Engage in Dirty Talk
Dirty talk is an easy way to add edge to your sexual interactions. For many women, the words you speak can spark the initial arousal. After that, you will then only have to stoke the fire.
You don’t have to wait until you’re in the bedroom to start. Send her a text message or leave her a note. This will get her anticipating the moment you two are back together.
A few ideas to get you started:
- “Just wait until we get home.”
- “I can’t wait to be inside of you.”
- “What do you want me to do to you tonight?”
- “I love the way you moan.”
- “I want to make your pussy throb.”
- “You taste so good.”
Be subtle, or be bold. You should adjust to your partner’s comfort level, though don’t be surprised if she gets more adventurous the more frequently you engage in dirty talk.
Don’t Be Afraid to Explore
Once you find something that works, it can often become the go-to spot. To keep your sexual encounters interesting, it’s important to spend some time exploring your woman’s body.
Where should you start? Begin at the feet and work your way up through the erogenous zones above. You can spend as much or as little time on a zone based on your partner’s response. The important thing here is you are trying new spots to see what she likes.
A fun way to get your partner in on the action is with couple’s sex games. XXX Marks the Spot is a great place to begin. Have your partner think of a spot on her body, and then kiss every part of her body until you find it. You can have even more fun by going back to previous spots just to prolong the game.
Listen to Her Body
It is one thing to verbally communicate with your partner, but it’s another to listen to her body and respond accordingly.
Open communication is vital to a pleasurable experience, but there is more than one way to communicate. This is why you must become attuned to your partner’s body language. Once you know how she is reacting to your touch, you can adjust as needed.
When you touch a particular spot or move in a certain way, does she softly sigh, lean in, or soften? These are all signs that she is positively responding to the stimuli. But if she pulls away or stiffens, it’s a sign to move on or change your technique.
Listening to her body does not mean foregoing verbal communication. You should always ask her questions if you are unsure of her physical response.
Take Your Time
If you think of foreplay as a chore, your partner will notice. This will only make it more difficult to get her wet. It is important that you take your time so both you and your partner can enjoy yourselves.
If longer foreplay sessions are new to you, consider starting with a routine in mind. The first few times, you may stick to the routine throughout the session. As you get more comfortable, though, it is best to improvise. This will allow you to respond to your partner’s body which will only improve her satisfaction.
What if She Can’t Get Wet?
The above recommendations will work with many women. However, the level of wetness a woman can naturally achieve will vary throughout the month. This is largely due to where she is in her cycle, but other factors can also play a role. These include hydration, stress, illness, and medication.
So what can you do?
Experiment with Lube
You or your partner may think you have failed if you need to add artificial lubrication to your sessions. That’s not the case, however, and it’s good to look at lube as a sexual aid.
There are many different types of lube, so there is sure to be one that you and your partner like. The four most common lubrication bases are water, silicone, oil, and hybrid.
- Water-based lubricant is best used where latex condoms or sex toys (like dildos) are concerned. This type will not break down latex condoms, and it will also ensure a longer life for silicone sex toys. Do keep in mind that water-based lubricants may require reapplication.
- Silicone-based lubricant is slippery and longer lasting than water-based lubricant. It should not be used with latex condoms or silicone sex toys, but it can be used with glass, hard plastic, or steel. One catch is silicone lubricants require soap and water to clean up, and it can stain sheets and clothing.
- Oil-based lubricant is similar to silicone-based as it is slippery and longer lasting than water-based lubricants. It should not be used with many types of condoms, including latex and polyisoprene.
- Hybrid lubricant is any combination of the above three types.
If part of your foreplay involves oral sex, then why not consider flavored lubricant? You can find lubricant in many different flavors, so you’re sure to find something you both like.
If your partner is closed off to you emotionally, it can be difficult to get her wet. This is why open and frequent communication is crucial for a healthy sex life.
Communication comes in many forms. You will learn to listen to her body, but it doesn’t always come easily. In the meantime, practice verbal communication. This can be as simple as asking your partner what they like and what they don’t like during foreplay. Allow her to express herself without fear of judgement.
If your partner is a bit shy, you can start with yes or no questions like:
- “Do you like when I touch you there?”
- “Did you like what I did with my tongue last time?”
- “Does this feel good?”
Over time, your partner may become more vocal on her own. Or she may prefer the question and answer format. In that case, you can begin to ask more in-depth questions such as:
- “What do you want me to do to you?”
- “Do you want me to eat you out from the front or the back?”
- “Should I start playing with your nipples or your clit first?”
Remember to check in with your partner frequently so you can adjust to her needs as you go.
Encourage Her to Speak With Her Doctor
The natural lubrication amount will vary from woman to woman and it can also change throughout her cycle. However, if poor lubrication is a chronic problem, there may be an underlying medical reason.
If your partner feels that lack of lubrication is interfering with her sex life, you should encourage her to speak with her doctor. It is important to treat any underlying conditions, both for her physical and sexual health.
Frequently Asked Questions
Female arousal has been a taboo subject for centuries. Only in more recent decades has it become acceptable, and even encouraged, to discuss. With that in mind, there are many questions regarding female arousal and wetness. Here are just a few.
Can All Women Get Wet?
As mentioned above, there are certain factors that may interfere with a woman’s ability to get wet. These include underlying conditions, medications, time of the month, etc.
For the most part, however, all women are “built” to get wet. After all, it not only makes sex enjoyable, but arousal fluids also aid in procreation as it assists in sperm motility.
Can My Partner Be Aroused Without Being Wet?
Women are wonderfully complicated beings. The same can be said for the process of female sexual arousal.
To answer the question, yes, it is entirely possible for a woman to be sexually aroused but not wet. It can also be possible for a woman to be wet but not sexually aroused.
If your partner is aroused but not wet, then know that the battle is half won. Mindset is just as important, if not more so, than physical signs of arousal. You should continue with intentional foreplay, including the tips and techniques above. If your partner is still not wet after some time, that’s where lubricants can help. Lubricants are a modern solution to an age-old problem, and there’s no shame in using them.
What Is the Difference Between Wetness and Squirting?
Squirting, or female ejaculation, occurs when the vagina releases fluid at the time of orgasm. This is different from wetness, or arousal fluid.
The key difference is in the origin of the fluids. As mentioned, arousal fluid is produced by the Bartholin’s glands. These glands are located on either side of the vaginal opening. Female ejaculation, however, is produced by the Skene’s gland. This gland is located closer to the urethra which is a few inches outside of the vaginal canal.
The other difference is the content of the fluids. Female ejaculation contains creatinine, urea, uric acid, PSA, and prostate acidphosphatase. This is demonstrably different from urine, especially when considering the levels of PSA present in female ejaculatory fluid.
There is no one way to get your partner wet as the preference of every woman will vary. But there is one thing that is for certain, and that is getting your partner wet before intercourse should become a regular part of your routine. We have a great article on how to make her horny, which you might also find useful.
The tips above are a great place to start, but don’t be afraid to branch out to include kinkier activities. These may just become a favorite part of your routine.