In this article, I'll share my top 10 techniques for talking dirty, including what to say to her face-to-face and through texts.
In addition, our female sexuality coach, Isabel, will point out some common pitfalls to dodge. Let's dive in..
In this article, we'll cover:
Andrew's Ultimate Guide To Use Your Voice And Get Her Wet
When using your voice to turn a woman on, the goal is to sound confident and flirtatious.
You want to lead the conversation effectively. I teach my clients to smoothly shift between soft, silly, and more savage or intense tones.
Because the way you speak can greatly change the mood, which is why it's important to master this step first.
I. Tone & Delivery
Use a deeper voice with a downward inflection to sound more confident and assertive.
Match the tone and delivery to the mood of your interaction. Be playful when the mood is playful by making jokes, using pet names, etc; be serious when it's time to be serious, or intensely passionate when the mood strikes.
II. Vocabulary & Language
Choose your words carefully. Using less language can often have more impact; opt for words that are seductive and erotic.
Descriptive and sensual language, along with erotic metaphors, can captivate her imagination and resonate deeply with her feelings.
III. Context & Timing
Choose settings and situations where you both feel relaxed and open.
Pay attention to her cues and adjust your words to match when she seems most receptive and responsive.
IV. Body Language
Your body language should complement what you say. Maintain an open and relaxed posture, lean towards her occasionally, and use gestures that indicate your interest and attraction.
Strong eye contact, a warm smile, and mirroring her body language can reinforce your words. Gradually escalate to gentle touches and more.
V. Volume
Control the volume of your voice to change the mood.
Whispering sweet nothings can be incredibly intimate and arousing over yelling it or saying it in a normal volume.
Ensure your voice is loud enough to be heard clearly but soft enough to maintain a personal and discreet atmosphere.
10 Proven Techniques to Uplevel Your Dirty Talk
GREAT dirty talk can be condensed down to just 10 techniques.
Warning... use caution because these techniques are powerful and can drive a woman wild.
Technique #1 - Compliments
Giving real compliments about how she looks, her personality or things you find uniquely special about her can make a big difference.
It makes her feel appreciated and attractive, a great way to boost her confidence and her willingness to connect with you.
Words You Can Say
Technique #2 - Express Desire
When you tell her how much you want her, make sure your words show your admiration for her, too. This shows respect, which can make her feel both desired and valued.
Words You Can Say
Technique #3 - Flirtation
Flirting should be fun and light. Use clever comments and playful hints to build excitement and anticipation.
This kind of talk creates a spark and makes the connection between you even stronger.
Words You Can Say
Technique #4 - Sensual Descriptions
Use your words to create clear pictures. Talk about fantasies, scenarios, or past experiences.
Words You Can Say
Technique #5 - Erotic Storytelling
Sharing erotic stories or personal fantasies can draw her in.
This lets you both talk about feelings and scenarios in a safe and less intimidating way than being direct and using "I" statements like "I want you," which get the point across and is a great way to test the waters.
Words You Can Say
Technique #6 - Sensory Language
Talk in a way that makes her feel something. Describe how things feel, taste, smell, and sound to make her experience the moment all over again.
Words You Can Say
Technique #7 - Power Play
Playing with power dynamics through role-play or teasing can spice things up because it adds a bit of dominance or submission and playfulness.
Words You Can Say
Technique #8 - Name Calling
Using playful or erotic nicknames and pet names can create a closer connection.
Choose names that feel intimate and fitting for your relationship, whether they are affectionate and sweet or daring and bold.
Words You Can Say
Technique #9 - Erotic Commands
Guide her actions by telling her exactly what to do.
Words You Can Say
Technique #10 - Poetry or Literature
Reciting romantic poetry or reading sensual literature aloud can resonate with a lot of women. It's overly romantic, which many women love.
Words You Can Say
Examples of What To Say To Get Her Wet With Words
As someone who values deepening the connection with my partner, I will share some effective ways to use words to turn her on.
These suggestions are best used within a relationship where a strong emotional connection exists, whether you're dating, committed, or married.
I. Over Text Messages (Sexting)
When it comes to sexting, don't jump into sexting without knowing if she's open to it.
Always make sure your relationship has reached a point where sexts are welcome. Otherwise, an awkward situation could arise.
Here are some of my most successful lines to give you an idea of what to text once you have initiated the conversation.
Start slow and increase the intensity of your messages gradually.
Be aware those example lines are ranging from subtle to more direct.
So don't go straight for the last one...
Voice notes add a personal touch to your messages. Hearing your voice can make sexting feel more personal, more intimate, and hotter.
Recording sexy voice notes for your partner may also help when sharing more intimate fantasies for the first time. Since you might feel more relaxed and free to vocalize your desires when alone.
Sharing pictures should always come with a high level of trust and consent. You can start slow, perhaps with more innocent and less revealing photos, and then work your way up. Remember;
II. Outside The Bedroom (Warm Up)
Starting the excitement long before you get to the bedroom helps make sex even better.
When you flirt or talk in a playful way during the day or on a date, it sets the mood for later. This slow build-up makes you both more connected and builds anticipation.
Here are ten example lines that can be said outside the bedroom to turn her on and prepare for more later:
Why Those Lines Work
Some of the lines above create a sense of novelty which can add excitement, or recalling past moments which reignite the feelings she felt in the moment she experienced it.
They also increase the trust and safety between you which is the foundation of a deep and caring connection.
III. Inside The Bedroom (Make Her Wet)
Inside the bedroom, the right words can make a big difference. Talking about what you want, giving compliments, and sharing your feelings can make her 100% wetter.
Here are twenty example lines to use inside the bedroom:
Why Those Lines Work
Acknowledging her responses shows you are present an encourages her to let go fully.
A Woman's Perspective...
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Having experienced numerous situations where dirty talk could either get things moving in the right direction or halt them completely, I've compiled a list of common mistakes that men often make when trying to get a woman "wet" with their words.
Trust me, there's nothing worse than a partner who knowingly or unknowingly makes these mistakes.
It's not only frustrating. It's a turn-off and can make it extremely difficult later on to get the mood right and things back on track if you get what I mean.
Read on to discover what you can do to correct them before it's too late.
Mistake #1 - Holding Back & Shyness
When men are too shy or self-conscious, their mood can affect their partner. The partner will often feel like they are not fully present, which can be a turn-off.
Solution
Mistake #2 - Being Inauthentic
Using phrases or words you've just memorized from others can come off as fake if they don't match your true self or values. This disconnect makes the experience feel less genuine.
Solution
Mistake #3 - No Active Listening & Responsiveness
Not paying attention to your partner's cues and responses can significantly turn her off. It can be a major turn-off if you're not adapting your words based on her reactions.
In some cases, it might even give her the impression you don't care or you just aren't interested.
Solution
In other words, if she's excited, continue what you're doing and give her more of it.
If she's a bit reserved (closed body language, silent, looking off in the distance), back off a bit, ask what's going on up there in her head, and try something else.
Mistake #4 - Not Accepting Boundaries
Ignoring or forgetting to discuss boundaries beforehand, not gaining consent, or disregarding her limits will be uncomfortable and a serious turn-off.
Solution
Frequently Asked Questions
As a relationship and sex coach, I've been asked about how to turn on women with words only for as long as I've been coaching men (which is a very long time). The answer to all your burning hot questions... keep reading to find out.
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