How to Get Her Wet With Words in 10 Easy Steps

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How to Get Her Wet With Words in 10 Easy Steps

In this article, I'll share my top 10 techniques for talking dirty, including what to say to her face-to-face and through texts.

In addition, our female sexuality coach, Isabel, will point out some common pitfalls to dodge. Let's dive in..

In this article, we'll cover:

  • How to use your voice to turn her on 
  • What to say to get a woman wet (examples provided)
  • Why each technique works and why others don't 

Andrew's Ultimate Guide To Use Your Voice And Get Her Wet

When using your voice to turn a woman on, the goal is to sound confident and flirtatious.

You want to lead the conversation effectively. I teach my clients to smoothly shift between soft, silly, and more savage or intense tones.

Because the way you speak can greatly change the mood, which is why it's important to master this step first.

I. Tone & Delivery

Use a deeper voice with a downward inflection to sound more confident and assertive.

Match the tone and delivery to the mood of your interaction. Be playful when the mood is playful by making jokes, using pet names, etc; be serious when it's time to be serious, or intensely passionate when the mood strikes.

II. Vocabulary & Language

Choose your words carefully. Using less language can often have more impact; opt for words that are seductive and erotic.

Descriptive and sensual language, along with erotic metaphors, can captivate her imagination and resonate deeply with her feelings.

III. Context & Timing

Choose settings and situations where you both feel relaxed and open.

Pay attention to her cues and adjust your words to match when she seems most receptive and responsive.

IV. Body Language

Your body language should complement what you say. Maintain an open and relaxed posture, lean towards her occasionally, and use gestures that indicate your interest and attraction.

Strong eye contact, a warm smile, and mirroring her body language can reinforce your words. Gradually escalate to gentle touches and more.

V. Volume

Control the volume of your voice to change the mood.

Whispering sweet nothings can be incredibly intimate and arousing over yelling it or saying it in a normal volume.

Ensure your voice is loud enough to be heard clearly but soft enough to maintain a personal and discreet atmosphere.

10 Proven Techniques to Uplevel Your Dirty Talk

GREAT dirty talk can be condensed down to just 10 techniques.

Warning... use caution because these techniques are powerful and can drive a woman wild. 

Technique #1 - Compliments

Giving real compliments about how she looks, her personality or things you find uniquely special about her can make a big difference.

It makes her feel appreciated and attractive, a great way to boost her confidence and her willingness to connect with you.

Words You Can Say

"Your happiness is truly magnetic, it brightens up the room and I love how your eyes light up when you smile."

Technique #2 - Express Desire

When you tell her how much you want her, make sure your words show your admiration for her, too. This shows respect, which can make her feel both desired and valued.

Words You Can Say

"I can't stop thinking about being with you tonight. You're the most special woman I've ever met."

Technique #3 - Flirtation

Flirting should be fun and light. Use clever comments and playful hints to build excitement and anticipation.

This kind of talk creates a spark and makes the connection between you even stronger.

Words You Can Say

"If I told you what I was thinking right now, I’d definitely make you blush."

Technique #4 - Sensual Descriptions

Use your words to create clear pictures. Talk about fantasies, scenarios, or past experiences.

Words You Can Say

"Imagine us on a secluded beach at sunset together with your favorite wine."

Technique #5 - Erotic Storytelling

Sharing erotic stories or personal fantasies can draw her in.

This lets you both talk about feelings and scenarios in a safe and less intimidating way than being direct and using "I" statements like "I want you," which get the point across and is a great way to test the waters.

Words You Can Say

"Imagine this: You and me, beneath the stars, our bodies moving together in perfect harmony."

Technique #6 - Sensory Language

Talk in a way that makes her feel something. Describe how things feel, taste, smell, and sound to make her experience the moment all over again.

Words You Can Say

"The way your skin feels against mine is like silk."

Technique #7 - Power Play

Playing with power dynamics through role-play or teasing can spice things up because it adds a bit of dominance or submission and playfulness.

Words You Can Say

"Tonight, you're mine, and you'll do everything I say."

Technique #8 - Name Calling

Using playful or erotic nicknames and pet names can create a closer connection.

Choose names that feel intimate and fitting for your relationship, whether they are affectionate and sweet or daring and bold.

Words You Can Say

"Come here, my queen." or "Come here, my little girl."

Technique #9 - Erotic Commands

Guide her actions by telling her exactly what to do

Words You Can Say

"Take off that dress."

Technique #10 - Poetry or Literature

Reciting romantic poetry or reading sensual literature aloud can resonate with a lot of women. It's overly romantic, which many women love.

Words You Can Say

Pick a line from Pride and Prejudice or even 50 Shades of Grey.

Examples of What To Say To Get Her Wet With Words

As someone who values deepening the connection with my partner, I will share some effective ways to use words to turn her on.

These suggestions are best used within a relationship where a strong emotional connection exists, whether you're dating, committed, or married.

I. Over Text Messages (Sexting)

When it comes to sexting, don't jump into sexting without knowing if she's open to it.

Always make sure your relationship has reached a point where sexts are welcome. Otherwise, an awkward situation could arise.

Sexting: Initiate the Conversation

Starting a sexting conversation can feel daunting. Go easy. The first step sets the mood, and so never rush into it.

Here are five lines to gently initiate the conversation:

  • "Really wish you were with me right now. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
  • "How is your day going? I keep us tonight."
  • "If I were there right now, what would you want me to do?"
  • "Just thinking about you and couldn’t help texting you."
  • "What are you up to? I’m just here, thinking about our last date."

Here are some of my most successful lines to give you an idea of what to text once you have initiated the conversation.

Start slow and increase the intensity of your messages gradually.

Be aware those example lines are ranging from subtle to more direct.

So don't go straight for the last one...

  • "I’ve been thinking about how you looked the other night."
  • "What’s the one thing you want me to do to you next time we see each other?"
  • "I can’t wait to [insert action here] you again."
  • "I can’t stop thinking about your [body part here]."
  • "You're the sexiest woman alive."
  • "Can you guess what I’m thinking about right now?"
  • "Wishing we could spend all day in bed together."
  • "I can't stop thinking about that time we [insert sexy time here]."
  • "I need you right now."
  • "Just one more hour, then I’m all yours."
  • "Just thinking about you turns me on."
  • "What are you wearing right now?"
  • "I want to make you feel good."
  • "Your laugh is my favorite sound, and your moans are a close second."
  • "I miss feeling your body against mine."
  • "I bet you look incredible right now."
  • "Tell me where you want my lips first."
  • "I get so turned on thinking about that."
  • "Can we skip dinner tonight and go straight to dessert?"
  • "I love your perfect body."
  • "What’s the naughtiest thought you’ve had today?"
  • "I’m counting down the hours until I see you again."
  • "Let’s make tonight all about you."
  • "I’ve got a surprise for you later. I hope you’re ready."
  • "How do you manage to turn me on so easily?"
  • "You have no idea what I am going to do to you tonight."
  • "Missing you is my least favorite part of the day."
  • "I can’t focus today, all I’m thinking about is you."
  • "You have no idea how much you turn me on."
  • "Imagining my hands around your throat is the best feeling."

Sexting: Emojis

Sprinkling emojis into your sexting can add a playful or suggestive layer to your messages, but do not overdo it.

These are the most common emojis that you might use and their implications in a sexting context:

  • 😈 (suggests something naughty or playful)
  • 🔥 (indicates that something is hot or exciting)
  • 🍑 (often represents a butt or attractiveness)
  • 😏 (implies a mischievous or flirtatious mood)
  • 💦 (very sexual; I'm sure you can guess the meaning)

Sexting: Voice Notes

Voice notes add a personal touch to your messages. Hearing your voice can make sexting feel more personal, more intimate, and hotter.

Recording sexy voice notes for your partner may also help when sharing more intimate fantasies for the first time. Since you might feel more relaxed and free to vocalize your desires when alone.

Sexting: Pictures

Sharing pictures should always come with a high level of trust and consent. You can start slow, perhaps with more innocent and less revealing photos, and then work your way up. Remember; 

  • Never pressure for reciprocation.
  • Ensure she likes photos (for some women, it's not a turn-on) 
  • Get a confirmation that she explicitly agrees to exchange images.

II. Outside The Bedroom (Warm Up)

Starting the excitement long before you get to the bedroom helps make sex even better.

When you flirt or talk in a playful way during the day or on a date, it sets the mood for later. This slow build-up makes you both more connected and builds anticipation.

Here are ten example lines that can be said outside the bedroom to turn her on and prepare for more later:

  • "I can’t wait to show you what I’ve planned for tonight."
  • "Thinking about being with you later makes my whole day better."
  • "You looked incredible this morning; I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day."
  • "Every time I think about you, I get turned on."
  • "Guess what I am going to do to you later? I want to make sure you are prepared."
  • "I care about you, and I am not going anywhere."
  • "Tonight, I want to focus all my attention on you."
  • Just thinking about you sends shivers down my spine."
  • "I've been fantasizing about our last kiss all day."
  • "Let’s try something new tonight, I think you’ll like it."

Why Those Lines Work

They create anticipation and make her curious about what’s to come. They show her she's on your mind, which makes her feel desired.

Some of the lines above create a sense of novelty which can add excitement, or recalling past moments which reignite the feelings she felt in the moment she experienced it.

They also increase the trust and safety between you which is the foundation of a deep and caring connection. 

III. Inside The Bedroom (Make Her Wet)

Inside the bedroom, the right words can make a big difference. Talking about what you want, giving compliments, and sharing your feelings can make her 100% wetter.

Here are twenty example lines to use inside the bedroom:

  • "You feel so good."
  • "I love how you do that."
  • "Tell me what you want."
  • "I can’t get enough of you."
  • "You’re so sexy when you’re like this."
  • "Let me make you feel amazing."
  • "Feel my hands all over you."
  • "Your moans drive me crazy."
  • "I want this to last forever."
  • "Let’s go slow, I want to savor every second."
  • "Every time we're together, it feels new and exciting."
  • "Tell me how much you like this."
  • "I adore the way you look right now."
  • "You're all I've been thinking about."
  • "I want to please you in every way."

Why Those Lines Work

Using descriptive language focuses her attention on her body. It promises pleasure and focus on her enjoyment, which can be incredibly arousing.

The invitation to be more active and voice her desires combined with the reassurance also adds to the trust built between you and allows her to relax and be more confident inside the bedroom.

Acknowledging her responses shows you are present an encourages her to let go fully.

A Woman's Perspective...
Common Mistakes to Avoid

from Isabel

Having experienced numerous situations where dirty talk could either get things moving in the right direction or halt them completely, I've compiled a list of common mistakes that men often make when trying to get a woman "wet" with their words.

Trust me, there's nothing worse than a partner who knowingly or unknowingly makes these mistakes.

It's not only frustrating. It's a turn-off and can make it extremely difficult later on to get the mood right and things back on track if you get what I mean.

Read on to discover what you can do to correct them before it's too late.

Mistake #1 - Holding Back & Shyness

When men are too shy or self-conscious, their mood can affect their partner. The partner will often feel like they are not fully present, which can be a turn-off.


To become more confident, practice what you want to say in front of a mirror until it feels more natural.

Mistake #2 - Being Inauthentic

Using phrases or words you've just memorized from others can come off as fake if they don't match your true self or values. This disconnect makes the experience feel less genuine.


Write down 50-100 phrases that reflect your feelings and practice saying them out loud to make your words feel more natural and easy.

Mistake #3 - No Active Listening & Responsiveness

Not paying attention to your partner's cues and responses can significantly turn her off. It can be a major turn-off if you're not adapting your words based on her reactions.

In some cases, it might even give her the impression you don't care or you just aren't interested. 


Focus on your partner’s responses and adjust your language to match hers.

In other words, if she's excited, continue what you're doing and give her more of it.

If she's a bit reserved (closed body language, silent, looking off in the distance), back off a bit, ask what's going on up there in her head, and try something else.

Mistake #4 - Not Accepting Boundaries

Ignoring or forgetting to discuss boundaries beforehand, not gaining consent, or disregarding her limits will be uncomfortable and a serious turn-off.


Always ask your partner questions like "Is there anything I shouldn't say or call you?" or share your ideas and check if she is comfortable with it. 

Frequently Asked Questions

As a relationship and sex coach, I've been asked about how to turn on women with words only for as long as I've been coaching men (which is a very long time). The answer to all your burning hot questions... keep reading to find out.

How can I get better at Dirty Talk?

To improve your dirty talk, practice alone and with your partner. Make it fun by having a special date night where you both can try out talking in different roles. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will become.

Do women like to be turned on with words?

Yes, many women enjoy being turned on through words. Stimulate the mind, and the body will follow is how I typically think of it.

I called my girlfriend something, and now she is angry, what can I do?

If you've upset your girlfriend by saying something wrong, first give her some space. Then, say sorry and talk about why it upset her. Agree on what things are okay to say and what are not, and stick to those rules.

Why do women enjoy getting turned on by words?

Many women like to be turned on by words because they create a sense of anticipation and engage their minds in a sexy way, which allows them to drop into their bodies and feel the turn-on.

Is dirty talk always naughty and humiliating?

No, dirty talk isn't just about being "dirty" or embarrassing. It can also be about making someone feel good with positive and kind words. It depends on what you and your partner like.

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Andrew Mioch

Andrew Mioch is one of the world’s leading sex coaches and best-selling author after spending 10 years learning from experts all over the world.

Currently pursuing his Master’s Degree in Sexology, Andrew has personally coached over 5,000 men. His expertise is regularly sought in publications such as Men's Health, Medium, and Cosmopolitan Magazine.

These days, Andy spends most of his time coaching clients privately and also through SQL’s online Mastery Academy.

Disclosure: Our content is reader-supported. This means if you click on some of our links, then we may earn a commission. We only recommend products that we believe will add value to our readers.

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