Great dirty talk can turn a boring relationship into an exciting and passionate one. If you want to spice things up with your partner, the right words will make her blush.
From learning lines to say to your partner to sexting over the phone, we’ll teach you the right words to use.
We’ll also cover what to avoid when talking dirty so you keep things exciting without crossing any lines.
In this article, we'll cover:
- How to dirty talk inside and outside the bedroom
- What to say to a woman to turn her on
- How to sound natural and avoid awkward responses
Freaky Talk 101
Getting freaky can spice up your sex life.
However, it's all about timing, delivery, and knowing what works for both of you.
To get you started with the basics I collected 7 easy to follow tips for you.
These tips will help you master the art of dirty talk.
Tip #1: Know the Perfect Timing
Choose the right moment to start dirty talk.
It’s best to do it when you both feel relaxed and connected. Avoid bringing it up during stressful times or awkward moments.
A well-timed comment can mean the difference between going to the bedroom and awkward or uncomfortable silence.
Tip #2: Work On Tonality & Delivery
Your tone and delivery matter a lot. Therefore, always use a tone that matches the mood.
The following works, from my experience, almost all of the time;
- Whispering in her ear
- Using a low, seductive voice
- Speaking slowly with a downward inflection
- Being confident in what you say
Tip #3: Start Slow and Build It Up
Don’t start with more explicit language. It will most likely be too much for her and can even make her uncomfortable.
Instead, start with light and flirty comments, then gradually get more explicit as things heat up.
This has two purposes.
1
She has time to get into the mood.2
The slow build means that you have more time to create sexual tension.
Tip #4: Keep It Natural & Authentic
Stay true to yourself and keep the conversation natural. Don’t force phrases that don’t feel right or sound awkward.
Authenticity is the difference between lines that work and ones that don't. Often, men want to use phrases that do not come naturally to them, and it shows when they're speaking.
Instead, say what you feel and think.
Never feel the need to copy and paste words or phrases from someone else, and hope they get the same results.
Likely, it won't work unless those copied/pasted lines line up with how you feel about your partner and what you want to communicate to her.
Tip #5: Know What She Likes
Pay attention to what turns her on. Knowing what she likes helps you say the right things and keeps her in the moment.
You're more likely to go far by saying things that actually turn her on versus saying what you think you should say or something you said to a previous partner, hoping it works the same with her.
You'll know what she likes by doing the following;
- Asking questions
- Getting to know her and tailoring your responses
Tip #6: Be Creative and Confident
You don't have to say the same thing every time.
In fact, mix it up. Be imaginative.
Say something new or something you always wanted to say but never felt confident about.
Confidence will go a long way. If you don't believe what you're saying, how can she?
A perfect example is the line "Get on your knees."
If you say it in a confident, sexual yet playful voice, she's likely to follow and respond in a playful and sexual way.
Take the same line but say it meekly with a raising tone at the end so it sounds more like a question. "Get on your knees?"
How do you think she'll respond? Probably not in the way you wanted.
Nothing can sour a mood more than when someone cannot get the hint.
Never continue with dirty talk if you sense that something is off. Most likely, you're correct. Something is off, and you need to pause, talk about it, and then determine if you can continue or not.
Maybe you said something she took the wrong way. Using explicit language can sometimes have that effect.
Instead of continuing, learn how to be aware of her reactions and body language.
Back off and switch to something she enjoys more.
Freaky Things To Say Inside The Bedroom
Bringing some freaky talk into the bedroom makes your connection even stronger. Knowing what to say and how to say it can make a big difference.
Here are some ideas to help you get started.
Freaky Things to Say in Bed: Sensual Edition
Sensual talk is all about setting a mood that feels intimate and passionate.
It’s soft, slow, and meant to create a deep connection. This kind of talk can make your partner feel desired and sexy.
How to Set the Tone: Speak slowly and softly. Use a low, seductive voice and maintain eye contact.
Your body language should be relaxed. Add touches and caresses later on.
- "Your skin feels so soft."
- "You smell so good."
- "I can’t get enough of you."
- "You make my heart race."
- "I want to feel you against my chest."
- "I love your voice."
- "Every inch of you is perfect."
- "I could kiss you all night long."
- "I love the way you taste."
- "Your body is so beautiful."
- "You're an amazing woman."
- "I want to touch every inch of your sexy body."
- "I need you so bad right now."
- "I love that little look in your eye."
Freaky Things to Say in Bed: Playful Edition
This type of talk is light-hearted and fun—think teasing.
It keeps things relaxed and exciting, humorous and playful.
How to Set the Tone: Use a cheerful voice. Smile and laugh. Being playful with your touches and holding eye contact can make things less serious.
- "You're such a tease."
- "You’re making it hard to concentrate."
- "You little..."
- "Are you trying to drive me insane right now?"
- "I love it when you tease me."
- "You drive me crazy right now."
- "You’re such a flirt."
- "You’re so naughty."
- "Let’s see who gives in first."
- "You’re making it very hard to behave."
- "I dare you to do that again."
- "Let’s see if you can handle this."
Freaky Things to Say in Bed: Savage Edition
Moving on to something more bold and daring.
This is for those moments when you want to take control and show a more dominant side.
How to Set the Tone: Use a firm and commanding voice. Make strong eye contact and use assertive body language. Don’t be afraid to be a little rough with your hands if she’s into that.
- "You’re mine."
- "I’m going to make you beg for it."
- "You won’t be able to walk tomorrow."
- "You’re not going anywhere until I say so."
- "Do that again."
- "You're going to scream my name."
- "Take it off."
- "I’m in control tonight."
- "Do it."
- "I’m going to leave my mark on you."
- "You have no idea what I'm about to do to you."
- "You’re going to remember this night for a very long time."
- "I want to hear you."
Freaky Things to Say in Bed: Filthy Edition
This type of dirty talking is intense and can be incredibly arousing.
Think of explicit phrases and lines that communicate how interested you are in your partner.
How to Set the Tone: Use a low, husky voice. Maintain strong eye contact and be unapologetic about your words.
- "You little slut."
- "You look so good on your knees."
- "I can't wait to be inside you."
- "I want you to fuck you so hard."
- "I love the way you suck me off."
- "You’re so fucking sexy."
- "I want to fill you up."
- "Where do you want me to cum?"
- "Open your pretty little mouth."
- "Don't you waste a drop
; swallow it all." - "You are daddy's little girl."
- "Suck it like you mean it, hoe."
Freaky Things To Say Outside The Bedroom
I don't think dirty talk should be just for the bedroom.
Why wait for closed doors when you can do it in public, build sexual tension, and have her wet and ready by the time you put the key in the front door of your house?
Here are some ideas to help you keep the fire burning.
Freaky Things To Say At A Public Event
Dirty talk in a public setting is uniquely daring and bold.
You have to find a way to be discreet but still get the point across to your partner.
This alone can be flirty and fun for most couples.
How to Set the Tone: Use a low, whispering voice and get close to her ear. Your body language should be relaxed but create a sense of intimacy without drawing attention.
- "I can’t stop thinking about what I will do to you later."
- "You look so sexy in that dress."
- "I can’t wait to get you alone."
- "You have no idea how badly I want you right now."
- "I’m going to make you scream tonight."
- "You’re making it hard to behave."
- "You're making me hard right now."
- "I’m imagining all the things we’ll do later."
- "Guess what I'm thinking about right now."
Freaky Things To Say When Visiting Family
When you're visiting family, you'll need to be even more discreet by using subtle hints, inside jokes, and coded messages that only you and your partner understand.
How to Set the Tone: Speak in a normal tone but use words and phrases that have special meaning for both of you.
Your body language should be casual to avoid drawing attention. Use eye contact and slight touches to help get the point across.
- "I’m thinking about last night."
- "I love that look in your eyes."
- "I can’t wait to get you home."
- "I'm trying so hard to be good right now."
- "Do you know how hard it is to get you off my mind right now?"
- "You make me want to misbehave."
- "I love that little dress on you."
Freaky Things To Say In Private
When you’re in private, you can be more direct and explicit. This is the time to really express what's on your mind, including all your sexual fantasies and desires.
How to Set the Tone: Use a confident and seductive tone. Make strong eye contact. Be bold and direct with your words.
- "I want to feel every inch of you."
- "You make me so hard."
- "I love the way you touch me."
- "I can’t get enough of you."
- "I want to be inside of you right now."
- "You drive me insane."
- "I need you so badly."
- "I’m going to make you scream."
- "I want to taste you."
- "I want to feel your mouth around me."
- "I love the way you moan."
Freaky Things To Say For Long-Distance
When you're in a long-distance relationship, dirty talk becomes even more important.
Without the ability to touch your partner, you have to rely on your words to fully communicate that she is on your mind and you still want her.
How to Set the Tone: Send sexy text messages for short voice messages. Use phone calls and video chats for more extensive sessions. Be descriptive but not too wordy.
- "I’m thinking about you right now."
- "I'm imagining you in bed with me."
- "I wish I could kiss you all over."
- "You make me so hard, even from miles away."
- "I can’t wait to make love to you."
- "Just wait for when I get home."
- "I love hearing your voice."
- "You’re the only thing on my mind."
- "I’m counting down the days until we’re together again."
- "I'm picturing you in my arms."
- "I want to make you moan my name."
- "You’re such a distraction. I can't focus on work cause I can't stop thinking about you."
- "I can’t wait to show you how much I’ve missed you."
Freaky Things To Say - Advanced Edition
When you're ready to take your dirty talk to the next level, give these advanced freaky talk ideas a try.
Dominant & Submissive Dirty Talk
Dominant and submissive dirty talk creates a power play that both partners enjoy.
Dominance and submission is based on consent and clear communication, so make sure the two of you stay on the same page.
How to Set the Tone: Use a commanding and confident voice when you’re taking the dominant role. Your body language and tone of voice should match your role.
- "You’re mine."
- "Do exactly as I say."
- "I love it when you submit to me."
- "You’re not allowed to touch me until I say so."
- "I’m in control now."
- "You’ve been such a good girl."
- "I’m going to reward you for being so obedient."
- "You’re not allowed to come until I say."
- "You look so good when you’re begging."
- "You’re my submissive little pet."
- "You’re going to remember who’s in charge."
Questions That Reveal Secret Turn-Ons
Asking questions with the purpose of discovering your partner's turn-ons or just getting her in the mood can be a fun way to spice things up.
Most of these lines can be used either as seductive text messages or said in person.
How to Set the Tone: Use a curious and playful tone. Your body language should be open, showing that you’re genuinely interested in her answers. Maintain eye contact and be attentive to her responses.
- "What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever thought about doing?"
- "Is there a fantasy you’ve never told anyone about?"
- "Do you have any secret kinks you want to try?"
- "What’s your favorite part of your body to be touched?"
- "Have you ever had a dream that turned you on?"
- "What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done in bed?"
- "Is there something you’ve always wanted me to do to you?"
- "What’s the most daring place you’ve ever had sex?"
- "What’s the dirtiest thought you’ve had about me?"
- "Have you ever used toys?"
- "What’s your favorite position and why?"
Phrases That Create Depth & Emotional Connection
Using phrases that create depth and emotional connection. This type of talk is about expressing love and desire.
How to Set the Tone: Use a warm and loving tone. Your body language should be affectionate, with gentle touches and sustained eye contact.
Make sure your words come from the heart and reflect genuine feelings.
- "I love you more than anything."
- "You mean the world to me."
- "I’m so grateful to have you in my life."
- "I’ve never felt this way about anyone before."
- "I love waking up next to you."
- "You make me a better person."
- "I can’t imagine my life without you."
- "You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me."
- "I love every moment with you."
Freaky Sexting 101
Sexting lets you express your desires and build anticipation for the next time you're in person.
However, there are some rules to follow to make sure it’s a positive experience for both of you.
Do’s and Don’ts
When it comes to sexting, there are certain behaviors to avoid and others to embrace to keep the experience enjoyable and consensual.
- Do ask for consent.
- Do be descriptive.
- Do be playful. Keep the mood light and fun.
- Do be tactful. Respect her boundaries.
- Do use emojis.
- Don’t send a sext out of nowhere. Make sure the conversation is heading in that direction.
- Don’t send unsolicited pictures. Always ask if she’s comfortable with receiving photos.
- Don’t rush things. Let the conversation build naturally.
- Don’t offend her. Be mindful of her boundaries and preferences.
- Don’t over-text. Too many hot messages can feel overwhelming or pushy.
Examples of Freaky Sexts
These examples of naughty text messages will get you started.
- "I can’t stop thinking about you."
- "I need you to come here."
- "Do you want to know what's on my mind?"
- "Guess what."
- "I really want to see you."
- "I can't stop thinking about last night."
- "I wish you were here."
- "I’m so turned on just thinking about you."
- "What are you wearing right now?"
- "I want to hear you moan."
- "I’m touching myself thinking of you."
- "You make me so hard."
- "I want to taste you."
- "Tell me what you want me to do to you."
- "I love the way you feel."
- "I can’t wait to see you naked."
- "You’re so beautiful."
- "I want to hear you say my name when I get home."
- "I’m imagining all the things we’ll do later."
- "You’re making it very hard to concentrate."
- "You’re the only thing on my mind."
- "I need you right now."
- "I’m craving you."
- "I'm so turned on right now."
- "I'm having so many dirty thoughts right now."
- "I can't stop picturing your hot body."
Transition from Sexting to Real-Life Dirty Talk
Without a successful transition, everything you talked about might just stay as phone sex instead of coming to life in the bedroom.
When you've finally reconnected in person, start by bringing up some of the things you’ve mentioned in your sexts.
Remain confident and use a seductive tone. Maintain eye contact and slowly move towards her, touching her slightly.
When the moment seems right, go in for a kiss. Continue from there, based on how she reacts.
If you're at a loss for words and aren't sure what to say to her after a heated online conversation, try one of these methods.
- Begin with a light reference to your sexts: "Remember what I said I’d do to you? I can’t wait to show you."
- Match your words with actions: "I want to kiss," and then follow through with gentle kisses.
- Keep the conversation flowing naturally, responding to her cues and comfort levels: "Do you like it when I touch you like this?"
By following these tips, you can create a seamless transition from sexting to real life.
Expert Explains: Common Challenges When Saying Freaky Things
When it comes to talking dirty, many men face common challenges that make it difficult to get comfortable.
From my experience working with clients, I address these challenges and solutions to improve your experience.
She Is Not Interested
One of the most common challenges is when she isn’t interested in dirty talk. This happens for various reasons, such as her mood, personal preferences, or timing.
The solution is to communicate. Find out when the right time might be and why she's not interested. This way, you find a middle ground that works for both of you.
She Is Upset
If she is upset, attempting to talk dirty backfires. In my experience, it’s best to address her feelings first.
Show empathy and be understanding; wait until she’s in a better mood before introducing freaky talk again. This shows that you care about her emotions and helps build trust.
She Is Not Receptive
Sometimes, she might not be receptive to dirty talk, even if she’s generally interested. This could be due to stress or distraction.
Be patient and observant. Look for cues in her body language and responses and adjust accordingly.
She Is Mad At You
When she’s mad at you, dirty talk is probably the last thing on her mind. The best approach is to resolve the conflict first.
Apologize if necessary and make amends. Once the issue is settled and you’ve reestablished a positive connection, slowly go from there.
She Keeps Changing The Subject
If she keeps changing the subject, she might be uncomfortable or not in the mood.
Gently ask if she’s interested and let her choose a topic she is comfortable with. Sometimes, it’s not the right time, and that’s okay.
She Is Offended
Dirty talk sometimes offends if it’s too explicit or crosses a boundary.
Start with less explicit phrases and gauge her reaction. Building up gradually and checking in with her comfort level decreases the chances of causing offense. If she’s offended, apologize sincerely and ask what she’s comfortable with.
A Woman's Perspective..
To Make Dirty Talk More Powerful
As a coach, I’ve seen how effective communication improves intimacy and connection.
Here are some tips from my perspective on how to make dirty talk more powerful.
Say Something Naughty in Public
Saying something naughty in public is thrilling.
It’s about being discreet but suggestive.
Use a low voice and get close to her ear.
This not only turns her on but also builds anticipation for when you’re alone.
Give Her a Slow, Romantic Kiss
A slow, romantic kiss sets the mood for dirty talk.
It shows passion and tenderness.
Combine this with gentle touches and eye contact to create a deep connection before you start talking dirty.
Whisper into Her Ear
Use a soft, seductive tone and say things that you know turn her on.
The combination of your warm breath and words is arousing.
Call Her Names
A lot of women enjoy it when their partners use names like "baby," "gorgeous," or more explicit ones if she’s comfortable.
Just make sure these names are endearing or arousing to her.
Depth - Dirty - Detail
When talking dirty, focus on depth, detail, and being explicit.
Describe what you want to do to her or what she does to you in vivid detail.
Encourage Her to Open Up
Ask her questions and listen to her responses.
This not only makes her feel
valued but also gives you insights into what turns her on, so you can tailor what you say to her preferences.
Instruct Her
Giving her gentle instructions is very arousing for a lot of women.
Tell her what you want her to do or guide her movements.
Use a commanding yet caring tone to make her feel both desired and guided.
Share Taboo Fantasies
Start by sharing something mild and gauge her
reaction.
If she’s into it, go deeper into your fantasies together.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do you still have something on your mind about dirty talk? This should cover it.
Do girls like to be asked dirty questions?
Many do if they are comfortable and trust their partner. It's good to know her boundaries and what she likes. Start slow and see how she responds before getting more explicit.
Are there lines and questions that women find offensive?
Yes, there are lines and questions that some women find offensive. Everyone has different comfort levels, so what works for one person might not work for another.
How will I know it’s okay to say freaky things to her?
You'll know it's okay to say freaky things to her if she shows interest and responds positively to your initial attempts. If she seems into it, you can gradually get more explicit.
How do you start a conversation about sex?
Start a conversation about sex by finding a comfortable and private setting. Be honest and open when sharing your own turn-ons. Then, ask her about her likes and dislikes and encourage her to share her thoughts without pressure.
How can I start talking dirty without feeling awkward?
To start talking dirty without feeling awkward, practice a few phrases in your mind or out loud when you're alone. Start with simple compliments and gradually move to more explicit language.
What if my girlfriend isn’t comfortable with dirty talk?
If your girlfriend isn’t comfortable with dirty talk, respect her feelings and avoid it. Find other ways to connect.
How can I keep dirty talk fresh and exciting in a long-term relationship?
Use different scenarios, fantasies, and role-playing.
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