How to Perform Cunnilingus: 6 Tips for Her Pleasure

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There is no one-size-fits all formula when it comes to oral sex. However, there are tried-and-tested techniques that every guy should learn to make their girlfriend or wife happy, yet very few actually do.

There’s actually one technique in particular that’s sure to leave her screaming in pleasure and begging for more, which I’ll share later on in this article, because it’s one of my favourites.

This article will show you step-by-step how to perform cunnilingus, but more than that, it will show you how to give her the best cunnilingus of her life.

So if you’re interested in an article that teaches you how to improve your game with actionable tips, then read on.

What is Cunnilingus?

Cunnilingus is the scientific term for oral sex performed on someone with a vulva. The more common terms are “eating pussy out” and “going down.”

In technical terms, it’s the act of licking, sucking, and otherwise stimulating the vulva and its various parts with the mouth.

A Word for Beginners

Before we get into the more technical how-tos, here are some things to keep in mind:

  • Every woman smells and tastes differently
  • Labia come in all colors, shapes, and sizes
  • Pubic hair varies in length and texture

You should also remember that oral sex carries risks, namely the potential for spreading Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). However, there are safe ways to practice oral sex including sexual testing between partners and the use of barriers like dental dams.

If you aren’t mature enough to handle the above facts, then you’re not mature enough for a sexual relationship. Plain and simple.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about the basic techniques of cunnilingus.

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The Basics

You’ve probably heard advice over the years, like tracing the alphabet with your tongue. But that kind of advice often misses the mark. Why? Because 1) it assumes all women like the same thing; and 2) the tip of the tongue is the only tool at your disposal.

There are actually a lot of techniques you can use while going down. Here are some basics to get you started.

Lick

The most basic of techniques, the lick, is actually quite versatile.

The most common technique is to use the tip of the tongue to lick, or more accurately, flick the clitoris. While this can be effective, it can also become redundant and even overstimulating. That’s why the flick should be reserved for brief periods of time or climax.

Instead, we recommend you stick out your tongue and flatten it against your chin. With your tongue in this position, start at the base of the labia near the vaginal opening and lick slowly up towards the clitoris. You can vary the speed and even distance. With some practice, you can even reverse your direction from the clitoris to the vagina.

Blow

Before you go and start blowing raspberries, we mean blowing air gently onto the labia and clitoris as a way of warming or cooling the area. This temperature play can stimulate the nerves differently than more direct stimulation.

By its nature, your breath against her pussy will feel warm. To cool it down for a different sensation, lick the area you’d like to blow on first. This will have the same effect as a fan blowing on wet skin.

Hum

It may not be a conventional oral sex technique, but it’s one that works nonetheless.

The trick with humming is to find the right spot. This can take some trial and error. To start, place your lips against the labia. Begin to hum while ensuring that your lower lip is constantly connected with the labia (the lower lip gives off more vibrations than the upper). You can slowly work your way up towards the clitoris.

By creating vibrations that travel to the clitoris, you can indirectly stimulate the nerves. And with humming, you can control the intensity and distance. This means you can use it to tease your partner, or to bring her to the edge and then pull her back again before she climaxes.

Suck

Form a relaxed “O” shape with your lips. Place your lips against the labia and begin to very gently suction. You can move up and down the labia and even suck the clitoris itself. This will deliver an intense sensation.

These 4 movements form the basis of oral sex and will start getting her very, very wet.

How to Get Her Started

Before you go down on her, you need to get her aroused. This is known as foreplay and it’s an important step whether you’re having sex or giving her oral.

For foreplay, you can keep it as simple as you’d like. Some people use just their hands and lips. Others may incorporate lubricant or even massage oil. Still, others may use sex toys such as feathers and vibrators to tickle and tease.

Only once your partner is begging for more should you even consider going down on her.

Start Slow

The goal of foreplay is to heighten her arousal while building a connection. You want her to be begging you for more by the end of a foreplay session.

Foreplay is all about building anticipation. Soft caresses, gentle kisses, exploration of her body. This will sensitize her which is crucial for reaching climax during oral sex.

You don’t want to rush the process which is why you must take your time. Act as if you have all of the time in the world to get her aroused.

If you want to learn more about warming up with erotic massage or yoni massage then we have these articles.

Work Your Way Down

There are some obvious parts to include in your foreplay, such as the lips, neck, breasts, nipples and clitoris. But you really want to focus on the less obvious erogenous zones to build up that anticipation. This means the lower back, stomach, thighs, and feet.

That’s not to say you should avoid the lips, neck, breasts, and clitoris altogether. However, they should be used sparingly so as to keep her wanting more.

What does this look like in practice?

Start with a light kiss on the lips and slowly draw your lips closer to her neck. Begin to trail down to her chest and kiss on and near the breasts but completely avoid the nipples. Don’t linger here, but instead move on to the stomach and the upper thighs.

The key is to avoid the pubic region on the first pass, so continue down to the middle and lower thighs. You can continue down her body as far as she likes.

Give Her a Tease

As you’re working your way down her body, it’s all about building suspense.

While following the trail outlined above, you can backtrack at any time. For example, as you move from the chest to the stomach, trail back up to the chest or even the neck. You can then follow the same direct path you took before or skip to the next spot.

Does your partner show particular enjoyment of a certain area? Keep that in mind while you continue your path downwards, but be sure to return to that spot to tease her some more. Maybe on your second pass, you can even give a little love to the nipples or a slight brush against the clitoris.

6 Tips for How to Perform Cunnilingus

Whether you’re new to going down or you just want to get better at it, the tips below will help.

1. Get Comfortable

Find a comfortable position for you and your partner. It can take time for your partner to reach climax, especially if you’re both new to the experience. You don’t want to ruin it halfway through because your neck aches or your jaw starts to cramp.

An easy position to start with is with your partner at the edge of the bed. You sit on the floor (either cross legged or on your knees) and her legs will be on each side of you or on your shoulders. This angle will prevent you from straining your neck.

2. Make a Connection

The act of cunnilingus is just as much about emotional connection as it is a physical connection. You should aim to make a connection with your partner, especially before and during, to get her into the right mindset for orgasm.

You can make connections verbally and non-verbally. For example, tell her how good she tastes and how much you love pleasuring her. Or moan, groan, and hum as you lick her out. For non-verbal connections, make eye contact or use a free hand to lightly rub her stomach or thigh.

You can continue the connection after cunnilingus, too. Ask her what she liked and what she didn’t like. Reiterate that you enjoyed yourself and that you can’t wait until the next time.

3. Take Her Cues

Whether you’re just starting or she’s close to climax, her cues are the most important thing to focus on. How is she responding to what you’re doing? Should you keep going or try something new?

What “cues” should you be looking for? Vocal cues, like moaning and gasping, are most common. But physical cues exist, too.

Keep in mind that some women are more vocal than others. Your partner may moan, whimper, or even yell out in pleasure, or she may make very little noise at all. You’ll likely know your partner’s style to some extent, but don’t take lack of vocalization as her not enjoying it.

Your partner may also give non-verbal cues. A few such non-verbal cues include twitching of the legs, gentle jerking movements, and pelvic grinding.

You can also ask your partner for direct cues that she likes something. For example, pulling your hair or rubbing your arm. These will be a signal to keep doing what you’re doing until her cues say otherwise.

4. Mix It Up

Over time, you will find your partner likes a few moves more than others. It’s still good to experiment from time to time with different techniques. You should also switch it up every so often to keep her guessing.

If your partner very clearly likes something, then don’t stop just for the sake of it. But when you’re slowly building your partner towards climax, that’s the best time to throw in some new skills.

5. Find a Rhythm

While it’s important to mix it up so you can find things your partner enjoys, you have to know when to keep at it. If your partner is getting close to climax and you change your technique, you’ll both be frustrated.

That doesn’t mean you can’t shift your focus as she reaches climax. Find a rotation of two or three techniques that your partner really enjoys. You can rotate through these as she gets closer and closer to climax. Right when she’s on the edge, continue with the technique you’re currently on so as not to disrupt her orgasm.

6. Use More Than Your Mouth

Yes, it’s called oral sex but that doesn’t mean you’re limited to using just your mouth.

As you’re going down on her, you’ll notice that your hands will naturally want to wander. Use them to her advantage. Use your hands to caress her body. Feel her thighs, her stomach, her breasts. Use your fingers to play with her clit, to trace her labia, to penetrate her pussy.

You can also use this time to incorporate sex toys and accessories into your session.

Dildos and vibrators are some of the most versatile toys, but feathers and other ticklers can also be easily used while you’re going down on your partner.

As with any of the other techniques, you’ll want to use communication — both direct and indirect — to give your partner what she wants.

Advanced Technique: Show & Tell

What if you and your partner could eliminate guessing altogether? You can with this advanced technique.

The technique is called Show & Tell and it’s just what it sounds like. Your partner will demonstrate for you exactly what she wants, and you’ll do it in real-time. Here’s how.

Place the tip of your index finger in her mouth just up to the first knuckle. Instruct her to use her tongue to show you exactly what she wants you to do while she’s going down. This will involve some back-and-forth at first, but soon it will be second nature to both of you.

For example, she can use the tip of her tongue to circle your finger. This indicates to you to circle the clitoris with your own tongue. Or she runs her tongue flat against the tip of your finger. That means she wants you to lick her from vagina to clit.

While there’s something to be said for freestyle cunnilingus, this technique can help you to better understand what your partner wants. This is particularly useful if your partner has had trouble climaxing from oral sex in the past.

Frequently Asked Questions About Giving Cunnilingus

Do you have questions about cunnilingus that weren’t answered above? Check out the answers to these most frequently asked questions.

Where Should I Be Licking?

The answer is simple, anywhere and everywhere. There are three main parts to focus on during cunnilingus: the clitoris, the labia, and the vagina.

The clitoris is the most obvious, but it should be one of the last places you go. You should instead build-up by focusing on the labia, then the vagina, and finally the clitoris. You can of course mix it up by returning to a previous place or lingering in another. But you should never stay in one place the entire time unless that’s what your partner wants.

How Should I Be Licking?

There’s no one right way to lick, though some techniques work better than others.

When you’re first starting out, the best licks are long, soft, and slow. While your partner should be aroused before you begin, these help to heighten her arousal.

You can then ask your partner what she prefers. Does she like long teasing licks or playful flicks? Does she like when you kiss her clitoris or swirl it with your tongue? Does she like it when you insert your tongue into her vagina? By asking her directly as well as following her cues, you’ll soon learn what techniques she likes.

What Do I Do During Orgasm?

A big mistake that’s often made is the giver will stop whatever it was they were doing as soon as their partner’s orgasm begins. This can shorten the orgasm and even lead to a very unsatisfying climax.

So what should you do when your partner orgasms? For as long as she doesn’t ask you to stop, continue doing what you were doing when she began to climax. While it may cause over-sensitivity on the tail end of her orgasm, it’s better than stopping her orgasm prematurely.

We have a dedicated article on how to give her an orgasm here.

Conclusion

You don’t need to be a cunnilingus guru to show your partner an amazing time. It takes lots of practice to get really good, and we’re sure your girl will appreciate you putting in the effort.

With the tips above, you can get started out on a solid footing. Just remember to always keep the lines of communication open and to use both verbal and nonverbal cues to inform your actions. This will not only ensure your partner enjoys herself, but also feels as if you truly care about her pleasure.

I highly suggest reading a few more of our articles. These 2 article are a good place to start and will teach you how to make her squirt, and how to make her horny. Thanks for reading and get out there and enjoy.

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