How To Find the Clitoris: A 5-Step Guide To Hitting the Right Spot Every Time

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How To Find the Clitoris: A 5-Step Guide To Hitting the Right Spot Every Time

In this article, I’m going to show you exactly how to find the clitoris and what to do with it when you finally discover it, even if you’re still a newbie to female anatomy.

Throughout history, men (and even women) have struggled to find the clitoris. In fact, up until a couple of years ago, over 31% of men worldwide did not know how to find the clitoris or what it was. If you’re one of them, this comprehensive 5-step guide is going to change that for you.

In short order, here’s what we’ll be covering:

  1. Locating the clitoris (its exact position)
  2. Recognizing the clitoris (distinguishing its appearance)
  3. Anatomy of the clitoris (understanding the external and internal structures)
  4. Stimulating the clitoris (techniques, pressure, and speed considerations)
  5. Individual preferences (the importance of communication)

Armed with knowledge from this guide, you’ll get a deeper understanding of the clitoris that can enable a more exciting experience with your partner.

But first, let me give you a quick refresher on the history of the clitoris and its actual use in human anatomy.

Is the Clitoris Just A Pleasure Nub?

From research, we know that only 18.4% of women climax through vaginal penetration, which leaves the rest of them at the mercy of this “pleasure nub”.

Unfortunately, the clitoris has largely been one of the most neglected parts of the female body, even though it basically shares the same beginnings as its male counterpart, the penis.

Not only that, but what little was known about the clitoris has often been overshadowed by a plethora of false truths.

Up until the 20th century, even Freud believed that only women who had achieved psychological maturity were able to orgasm.

Over time, as the penis went on to become the primary focus in both health research and in bed, it took us a while to fully grasp its usefulness beyond sexual pleasure, like for procreation.

Biologically, the clit’s only function is to provide pleasure, considering the 8,000 nerve endings that exist in this tiny little tip!

Today, modern science is increasingly leaning towards the vitality of female pleasure and clitoral health for not just procreation, but also to improve overall quality of life.

So if you’re ready to break away from the bubble of misinformation surrounding the clitoris and amp up your sex game by showing your partner that you know exactly what to do in bed, keep reading on and follow the steps I’m about to reveal.

Step 1: Find Your Way to the Clitoris

1,000 men were asked to label the vagina on a diagram, and only 50% (500) were able to correctly do so, emphasizing a need for understanding the clitoris.

Instead of exploring the clitoris without a sense of direction, it’s crucial to show your partner that you know exactly what to do in bed.

When your partner is lying on her back with her knees elevated and legs apart, the clitoris can be precisely pinpointed at the vulva’s (female genitalia) 12 o’clock position.

It can be found approximately an inch or two above the vaginal opening, positioned slightly above the vaginal entrance.

When examining this region, you’ll notice the following:

Mons Pubis

This is the soft, fleshy mound of tissue located under the belly, often characterized by its triangular shape, and possibly covered with pubic hair.

Labia Majora

On both sides of the mons pubis are the labia majora — the outer labia (or “lips”) — that surround the vaginal opening.

Each of the labia is approximately 7 to 8 cm long and 2 to 3 cm wide.

This is the outer muscle surrounding a slit running down to the vaginal opening. You might even catch a glimpse of the labia minora peeking out here.

Labia Minora

On further digging and spreading apart the labia majora, you’ll find the labia minora — the inner lips.

This is the delicate inner fold devoid of hair usually exhibiting a darker hue than the labia majora.

This region leads directly to the clitoris, and is about 0.4 to 6.4 cm in length, and about 2 cm wide, on average.

Clitoral Hood

Seated right at the very top of the vaginal opening is the clitoral hood. This is a small area of skin tissue that may vary from person to person.

Female anatomy clitoral stimulation

It may need to be gently pushed upwards to reveal the tip of the clitoris as the clitoral hood often covers it.

Glans Clitoris

Beneath the protective canopy of the clitoral hood lies the clitoris (scientifically known as the glans clitoris), a highly sensitive and nerve-dense nub responsible for clitoral stimulation.

However, you first need to be familiar with the appearance of the clitoris and how to distinguish it from the rest of the vulva.

Step 2: Know What the Clitoris Looks Like

Underneath the clitoral hood is a small button-like organ — or at least the tip of the rest of the clitoral body, most of which lies internally within the pelvis.

The clitoral tip is what you’re looking for — an almost sphere-shaped part hidden under the clitoral hood that can be as small as a pea or as sizable as a thumb.

Position yourself between your partner’s legs and take a look. Depending on the clitoris, you may have to pull back the clitoral hood to get a good look.

Regardless, don’t be fooled by the size of the clitoris — for it is home to more nerve endings than any other body part.

It is pretty much the only bodily organ that is solely meant to help your partner achieve shaking orgasms.

When participants of a survey were given a diagram of the clitoris to label, only 9% were able to do so correctly with over 50% just leaving the section blank.

It is also instrumental to realize here that there are two parts to the clitoris: what you see outside the body and what runs beneath the surface within the body.

1. The external part

The external part of the clitoris is the nub of flesh you see protected by the clitoral hood, just as the foreskin of the penis does this for males.

The part of the clitoris that extends outside the body is the glans clitoris. It’s located on the vulva right above the urethral opening and is the little tip of the clitoral organ that swells up during arousal.

2. The internal part

Beyond the tip of the clitoris lies the rest of the organ (nearly 5 inches of it!) on the inner side of the pelvis area.

The rest of the structure of the clitoris extends inside the body, behind the vaginal wall, and has the appearance of an upside-down wishbone.

While this is hidden from sight, if you want to stimulate your partner’s clitoris, it’s essential to understand how each part of the clitoris contributes towards achieving that orgasm that women crave.

In the following sections, you’ll learn what the entire organ of the clitoris is composed of and what makes it so sensitive yet powerful.

Step 3: Learn the Anatomy of the Clitoris

The glans clitoris is the part most people are familiar with. Right when puberty begins, the glans clitoris starts to increase in size, usually getting 1.8 times larger by the time puberty ends.

Venturing beneath the surface, the clitoral body splits into two crura (corpus cavernosum), which resemble extended legs stretching around five inches on either side of the vaginal opening.

These crura, along with the clitoral bulbs, can fill up with blood during arousal, contributing to the entire clitoral and vaginal erection process.

Another vital part is the vestibular bulbs, found on either side of the vaginal entrance. They swell during sexual arousal, increasing sensitivity and tension.

Additionally, the clitoris is supported by the suspensory ligament, which connects it to the pubic symphysis. It also boasts a rich blood supply.

So, the clitoris isn’t just an external “button” but a profound structure that needs to be understood to provide your partner with the perfect experience.

Step 4: Stimulate the Clitoris

When it comes to intimacy, understanding and tuning into your partner’s needs can make all the difference between a satisfying intimate encounter and an unsatisfactory one.

Let’s unravel the intricate balance of pressure, speed, technique, and the pivotal role of lubrication in stimulating the clitoris.


The clitoris is incredibly sensitive, courtesy of its dense nerve endings. To stimulate it, start by applying gentle pressure, gauging your partner’s comfort.

Remember to encourage an open dialogue with your partner, allowing them to provide instant feedback on what feels best.

Facial cues can also be incredibly helpful as you can see if what you’re doing is working or not by judging your partner’s reactions.

It’s important to remember that diverse pressure applications can trigger various kinds of orgasms, each with its unique sensation.


Commence with slow, rhythmic movements, allowing your partner to immerse in the sensation. As arousal escalates, some women might yearn for quicker tempos.

Be observant of subtle hints such as a change in breathing patterns and audible expressions of pleasure.

Playing with the pace — slow to fast and vice versa — can amplify orgasmic potential.

Once your partner is turned on, the clitoris will swell and the clitoral hood will retract a bit. This allows the clitoris to be easily spotted.


Exploring different movements can be exciting for both you and your partner!

Various techniques can elicit different types of pleasure, and how you go about this is completely up to you.

One good technique is to use your fingers to feel around the clitoral region. Start with gentle, circular motions, gradually varying speed and pressure based on feedback.


Look for signs like an increase of lubrication in the clitoris or deeper breathing to know if you’re hitting the right spots.

Other popular techniques of fingering the clitoris include using your hand/fingers to slide up and down across it, a gentle tapping motion on it, or using your finger to trace slow circles around the clitoris.

Use of Lubrication

A quality lubricant can further enhance the sensation as it reduces friction and allows for smoother movement.

Whether it’s a water-based or silicone-based lubricant, it can significantly elevate the experience.

Put a little bit of lube on the clitoris first and rub up and down the slit of your partner’s vulva.

It’s good practice to check with your partner first if they’re not allergic to the type of lube you’re using, as some lubes can cause burning, itchiness, skin irritation, redness, swelling, and more in certain individuals.

Step 5: Ask For Directions

Understanding the anatomy and basics of clitoris stimulation is crucial, but the most valuable guide is your partner’s feedback.

Remember, every individual is unique, and so are their vulva. The shape, size, and sensitivity levels of clitorises vary, making communication key.

Moreover, it’s vital to engage in foreplay. This not only enhances arousal but makes the clitoris more prominent and easier to stimulate.

For females, foreplay is a vital part of their sexual relationship as 42% of women reported very little foreplay as a reason for sexual incompatibility.

This highlights the importance of asking for directions and knowing what your partner wants when engaging in sex.

Sometimes it’s best to ask them to guide you by placing your fingers on their clit to get started.

The Bottom Line

In conclusion, understanding how to find the clitoris goes beyond mere anatomy and technique. It delves into the art of human connection, trust, and mutual respect.

While the detailed knowledge of structure and stimulation techniques lays the foundation, achieving genuine pleasure requires open communication with your partner.

It’s essential to note that the clitoral experience can differ from one individual to another.

Hence, it’s crucial to understand what works best for your partner. By blending anatomical knowledge with emotional intelligence, couples can achieve a harmonious balance, enhancing their intimate connection.

As you embark on this journey of exploration and discovery, remember that it’s a mutual endeavor. Both partners need to be equally involved, receptive, and communicative.

Laura Rose Halliday

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