Studies show over 70% of women crave a confident lover who knows exactly when to take control... and when to tease her senseless.
Are you thinking about unleashing that sleeping tiger inside you and making her melt? Let’s get to it—tonight’s the night everything changes.
In this article, we'll cover:
What Is Dominance?
Think of it this way: dominance is about creating an experience where she knows you’ve got her back. It’s psychological and physical; you’re setting the vibe, guiding her into deeper intimacy.
It’s using your voice, your touch, your energy to say, “I’m here for you, and I’m not going anywhere.”
You’re leading her into pleasure, not forcing it. Dominance isn’t about barking orders—it’s about loving her so she feels safe to fully let go and surrender.
Why Dominance in the Bedroom Matters?
No one wants to be ‘that guy.’ True dominance is about making her feel seen, desired, and absolutely safe to explore. When you nail that balance, you’ll take her places she’s never been... and trust me, she’ll be begging for more.
But What If You're Not That Confident in Bed?
I get it—easier said than done, right? Not every guy walks into the bedroom with the swagger of a movie star. And hey, even James Bond had his off days… probably.
So, let’s talk about how to build that confidence, one step at a time.
Dominance isn’t about control; it’s about creating a space where she can surrender completely to the pleasure you’re giving her.
When you cultivate these qualities—confidence, presence, direct communication, and genuine care—you’re not just another guy in her life; you’re the man.
So, what are you waiting for? Tonight’s your chance. Go make love to your woman like she’s the only one who matters... because she is.
But before you do, master these 12 levels of dominance to truly own the bedroom.
12 Levels On How to Be More Dominant in Bed—Physical Techniques & Commands
Are your current bedroom moves really showcasing your dominance, or are you just going for the usual “hit and run,” leaving her grumpy and unsatisfied?
It’s time to step up. Are you man enough to make her crave every second?
How many levels can you go?
Level One—The Silent Command
Before you touch her, stand behind her and let your presence fill the room. So she feels you, like an electric charge. With a firm hand, tilt her head back, locking her in place. Your gaze is steady, piercing—no words needed.
Pro Move
Level Two—The Hair Pull & Choke Combo
Now, lean in close. You can feel the intense heat radiating off her skin. Your hand slides into her hair, moving through the strands until you grip near the scalp. Not a tug—yet—just a firm hold that makes her head tilt back.
Pro Move
This isn’t just hair-pulling; it’s creating an entire sexual pleasure experience that makes her crave more.
Level Three—The Art of Restraint
Time to make her feel completely vulnerable. Pull out the restraints—sturdy and firm against her skin. Slowly, secure them around her wrists and ankles, making sure they’re snug but not too tight.
Pro Move
Her nerves light up, every part of her body on edge, waiting for your next move. You’re not just restraining her; you’re claiming the moment and making her submit to your control.
Level Four—Command & Control (Manhandling)
Control her moving backward by gently pushing your body against hers. With her back against the wall lift her hands above her head, and hold them there with a firm grip, your body pressing against hers.
Pro Move
Level Five—The Sting & Soothe (Spanking)
Time to introduce some impact. Use your hand or a paddle, then in a controlled yet quick motion bring it down on her ass with a sharp smack.
Pro Move
You’re not just using a paddle; you’re creating a sexual relationship built on trust, thrill, and tension.
Level Six—Sensory Overload
Now comes the fun part—taking her to that edge where she feels everything. Use sensory play to heighten her sexual pleasure.
Pro Move
You’re not just using the ice; you’re using every bit of her anticipation to make her crave what comes next.
Level Seven—The Verbal Cage (Dirty Talk)
Talking dirty can be a huge turn-on for the submissive partner. With a firm and low voice whisper some sweet naughty notings into her ear.
Pro Move
You’re not just touching her—you’re controlling her desire. One of the sexiest things a man can do.
Level Eight—Use Verbal or Non-Verbal Commands
Using verbal and non-verbal commands as the dominant person can look like this;
Pro Move
You give a slight tug on the leash, leaning in. “Stay,” you command, voice firm. Then watch her catching her breath while she’s hanging on every word, every signal.
Level Nine—The Edge of Denial
Use oral sex to bring her close. Continue until you feel her body trembling and she is about to come. Time to take control of her pleasure.
Pro Move
Give her the command “Now”, and watch how that single word sends her over the edge, leaving her mind and body shattered with pleasure.
Level Ten—Reinforce with Praise
The right words at the right moment can send a surge of pleasure through her, letting her know she's not just following orders—she's thriving in your control.
Praise isn’t just flattery; it’s a powerful tool to build the dynamic, to make her feel seen, appreciated, and hungry for more.
Examples of When to Praise:
Pro Move
Level Eleven—The Firm Hand (Discipline)
If she crosses a command, dicipline her—of course, while respecting both partner's boundaries. And remember you both have a safe word to use in case things get too wild.
Examples of punishments:
Pro Move
Level Twelve—Give Her the Sweet Taste of What She’s Earned
She’s obeyed and followed every command. Give her what she’s earned.
Pro Move
And then, when you see that look of pure need in her eyes, give her what she craves—fuck her hard, deep, with every ounce of desire you’ve been holding back.
Make her feel that her obedience has unlocked this intense, animalistic, and ravishing pleasure.
Now that you've mastered the 12 levels of dominance what about a few tips to leave her thinking, “Damn, when can we do that again?”—Try the following sexy role-play scenarios and spice up your sex life.
Dominant Role Play Scenarios To Try Out Tonight
You can use any of the techniques during sex, but if you're looking to take things up a notch while engaging in a dominant dynamic, giving one or more sexual play scenarios a try will do just that.
Overview: Take on the role of the strict CEO who needs to teach his secretary a lesson. This dynamic creates a space where you call the shots and she must obey.
Your Role: Command her to follow your orders—whether it’s to kneel, take off her clothes, or sit on the desk awaiting her ‘punishment.’ Guide her through each action, using verbal commands to establish your authority.
Pro Tip: Use a firm yet sensual tone, telling her exactly what you want her to do. This verbal dominance reinforces the power dynamic.
Scenario #2 - Horny Doctor & Submissive Nurse
Overview: Assume the role of the doctor who takes control of the ‘examination,’ ensuring she follows your every command.
Your Role: Direct her movements, positioning her where you want. Use physical touch to ‘inspect’ and maintain eye contact to gauge her reactions. You set the pace and determine how the scenario unfolds.
Pro Tip: Mix in sensory play, such as using a cold stethoscope against her skin, to amplify the dominance in your touch.
Overview: As the officer, you’re in charge of keeping her in line. This scenario plays into power dynamics, where she must obey every command or face ‘disciplinary action.’
Your Role: Use commands like, “Hands up,” or, “Spread your legs.” Guide her into different positions and maintain control over her movements. When she disobeys, a firm reminder (like a light spanking) reinforces your dominance.
Pro Tip: Whisper into her ear about what ‘punishments’ she can expect, keeping her on edge and deepening the power exchange.
Overview: Assume the role of a powerful man indulging in his desires. She’s the playful bunny, there to entertain and obey.
Your Role: Command her to undress slowly, then direct her to crawl onto a pile of (fake) paper money. Use your hands and voice to guide her movements, showcasing your control over every part of the encounter.
Pro Tip: Whisper, “You’re mine tonight,” as you explore her body, reinforcing your dominance with each touch.
Scenario #5 - Lustful Teacher & His Young Student
Overview: Take on the role of a confident professor, while she plays the eager student ready to follow your lead.
Your Role: Use props like books or a ruler and get her dressed in a skirt and blouse as her school uniform to set the scene. Command her to hand you her homework, guiding her movements with firm touches and clear instructions.
Pro Tip: Lean in and say, “It's time for your lesson,” or
Overview: Take on the role of the husband who can’t resist his alluring maid as she teases you while completing her chores.
Your Role: Command her to clean certain areas, guiding her movements with firm touches as you set the pace. Slowly pull her close, showing that you control when and how things escalate.
Pro Tip: As she bends down, grip her waist firmly and whisper, “You missed a spot,” asserting your dominance through your tone and touch.
Whatever role-play you do, make sure you and your partner are on the same page and establish boundaries and safe words beforehand.
Before you leave, remember, that with great power (play) comes great responsibility. So let’s dive into your role as the Dominant and how to make this experience as fulfilling and safe as it is thrilling.
Your Responsibilities As The Dominant
Ever been in the middle of things, feeling like a king, and then she stops, looks you dead in the eye, and says, "Is that it?" Oof.
I’d love for you to nail it and give her the best sexual experience every time you are dominant in the bedroom. To do so you need to have the hard conversations even if you feel uncomfortable. Those are the cornerstones of sexual dominance.
To make it easier for you, follow these commandments, and she won’t just crave your touch—she’ll need it.
To make it easier for you, follow these commandments, and she won’t just crave your touch—she’ll need it.
Thou Shalt Obtain Clear Consent
Thou Shalt Check-In Like a Boss
Thou Shalt Prioritize Her Safety
Thou Shalt Know Her Limits
Thou Shalt Read Her Like a Book
Thou Shalt Speak with Authority
So, you've got the basics down, but I know it can still get a bit confusing in the heat of the moment. Who does what? How do you navigate this dance of power and surrender?
Dominance vs. Submission: Cheat Sheet
Here’s the breakdown of the roles so you know exactly how to step up—and what to expect from her when she’s melting under your command.
Dominance
Submission
Nail these commandments, and she’ll count down the minutes for your next move. Now, let’s dig into the psychology—buckle up, it’s about to get hot!
Andrew Explains The Psychology of Dominance
Wild story-time...
I used to host sex parties. This was back in the day and before I was married. Still, I talk about my past openly, and if you've purchased a course, you already know.
As a result, I had to learn a thing or two about sexual leadership and sexual dominance. If not, I risked a lot of hurt (physically or psychologically) to my partner or even to myself.
I. Psychological Factors of Dominance
This journey led me to understand how dominance can be a complex interplay of psychological factors that I'll share with you.
Common Misconceptions
Submission = Weakness: Submission is not a sign of weakness. It takes strength and trust to surrender control. The submissive partner willingly gifts their submission and surrenders to the dominant.
3 Key Factors Of Psychological Preparation
Psychological preparation means getting yourself in the right mindset. There are three core ways to do that.
The psychology of dominance is multifaceted and requires a deep understanding of yourself, your partner, and the relationship dynamics.
Remember, being dominant is not about asserting your power over someone else. With the right mindset and preparation, you'll be able to let your dominant side out in the bedroom confidently.
Alright, enough about what’s going on in your head. Let’s see what this whole dominance game looks like from her side. Spoiler alert: consent and safety are the magic words.
A Woman's Perspective..
On Consent & Safety in Bedroom Dominance
Truth bomb!!!
Dominance without a foundation of consent and safety is a disaster waiting to happen. As a woman, trust and feeling safe are what make us open up to the experience.
So, let’s break down how you can be the dominant lover she craves—by handling these responsibilities like a truly masculine man.
I. Discuss Desires & Boundaries
Before diving into anything, have an attuned, open conversation about both of your desires, limits, and non-negotiables.
This isn’t a mood killer; it's co-creating a space where intimacy and pleasure can reach their full potential.
II. Agree on Safe Words & Safe Actions
Safewords are essential communication tools for navigating scenes.
Establishing these signals and safe actions means you're both in sync, allowing you to explore the psychological and physical edges of dominance without crossing into the trauma zone.
III. Ensure Ongoing Consent
Consent is dynamic and changes moment by moment.
This is about more than just verbal consent; it’s about reading her neurobiological cues—like muscle tension or a shift in her breathing—to ensure she's fully present and enjoying every sensation.
IV. Engage in Aftercare & Emotional Safety
Aftercare isn’t just a nice gesture; it’s a critical nervous system reset for both partners.
This is where secure attachment is built, transforming the experience from another moment to a deeply fulfilling connection.
V. What If Something Goes Wrong?
Mistakes happen, and that’s okay.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about showing her that you’re present, accountable, and ready to co-regulate the situation. Owning the moment builds a foundation of trust for the next encounter.
Dominance isn’t just about taking control; it’s about how you handle that control with attunement and care.
When you prioritize consent, safety, and ongoing communication, you become the kind of dominant lover she can trust, desire, and deeply connect with.
Frequently Asked Questions
Since I receive multiple questions on dominance inside the bedroom, I did you the service of answering your most burning, hot questions here.
The most dominant act depends on the person. For some, certain sex positions like Doggy Style or performing oral sex can be very dominant. For others, a more intense role-play and scene is required. Being sexually dominant doesn't have to look a certain way as long as you are both on the same page.
You can explore light bondage, spanking, role-playing, or verbal commands. Just discuss it beforehand and find a safe word that works for both of you.
Be a man who allows her to feel safe, feminine, and protected. You can't make her feel submissive but you can create an environment in which she feels relaxed, and open to surrender to you.
Use a calm and reassuring tone. Give clear instructions, talk dirty to her and offer praise.
It's normal to have desires about any dominant behavior. In fact, many people do, as BDSM isn't exactly a new concept.
As long as it's consensual and both partners are on board, there's nothing wrong with exploring your dominant side in the bedroom—no matter whether you are a dominant man or a dominant woman.
Humiliation is not necessary for dominance, and not everyone will like it. It is only necessary in a sexual relationship if both partners are comfortable with it and have discussed and agreed to it beforehand.
There are a few options. These are my top recommendations.
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