The female orgasm is a magical thing and yet 50% of women struggle to climax and 10% of unlucky ladies have never had one. These are numbers that we should all be eager to address and they present an opportunity for partners to up their orgasm-giving games!
Most men find it easy to orgasm as long as their horn is blown, stroked, or bounced on in the right way, but women need more sophisticated stimulation.
In this 101 guide to the female orgasm, we will provide our expert tips on how to give the lady in your life the Big O.
Encourage Your Lady to Explore Her Own Body
Masturbation isn’t just about temporary relief; it’s about discovery. When a woman spends time getting to know her own body, she’s more equipped to guide her partner in the bedroom.
Encourage your lady to masturbate regularly and experiment with different erogenous zones. This can include:
- Fingering her clit using different pressures and movements
- Playing with her breasts and nipples
- Experimenting with dildos, vibrators, and other sex toys
- Exploring her ass with her finger or a small butt plug
One fun and effective way to learn what your lady enjoys is to watch her playing with herself. This will show you exactly how and where to touch her so you can refer to your notes when it’s time for sex.
Is your lady a little shy? No worries! Ask her to film herself masturbating so you can study the video (not bad homework right?) and gain some crucial insights.
Don’t Neglect Foreplay
Whoever said, “It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey,” might as well have been talking about foreplay. It’s the tantalizing trailer before the movie, the sizzling appetizer before the main course. And for the female orgasm, foreplay can be an absolute game-changer.
Think of foreplay as a slow dance, a tease, a gradual ramping up of sexual sensations. Far too many men see foreplay as an obligatory fondle or lick before the real thing. But for women, foreplay is crucial for getting her juices flowing (so to speak). It is also an opportunity to give your lady a pre-penetration orgasm. This will leave her satisfied even if she doesn’t cum again during sex.
Remember, when it comes to foreplay, the longer the buildup, the more explosive the finale. Here are some winning foreplay tips:
The tongue is a wonderful appendage that can be used for talking, tasting, or teasing. And during foreplay, the tongue can be the star of the show.
The land down below is like an intricate landscape with hills, valleys, and hidden gems waiting to be discovered. Experiment with gentle circles, deep tongue fucking, blowing, and nibbling. As always, communicate with your lady, pay attention to her body, and let her guide you to her sweetest spots.
Hands can be incredibly expressive pleasure tools. From gentle clitoral caresses to a soapy breast massage to full-on BDSM spanking, they can do it all. Use your hands to explore every inch of her body, and press all her most sensitive buttons.
While some zones are universally acknowledged, every woman has her own map of pleasure points. Some find their earlobes being nibbled as the ultimate turn-on, while others might get a thrill from an erotic back massage. The fun lies in the experimentation so pay attention to the breasts, neck, inner thighs, and anywhere else your lady loves to be touched.
Ice cubes, feathers, blindfolds, and silk ties can all become tools of tantalization. Sensory play, where you heighten one sense by depriving others, can be particularly erotic. Try blindfolding your lady while you go down on her to ramp up the anticipation. This will make her ultra-sensitive so every lick, kiss and nibble feels especially yummy.
Prioritize Her Favorite Positions
Everyone has a go-to song they groove to, a favorite dish they eat endlessly, or a film they have on repeat. Sex positions are no different, so if you are looking to give your lady the Big O, make sure you prioritize her faves!
Some positions allow for deeper penetration, while others hit the G-spot or stimulate the clit. Knowing what she craves – be that a hard pounding or the perfect angle – can make all the difference.
If your lady doesn’t know what her favorite positions are, all the better! It’s time for some experimentation. For some women, a pleasurable position makes them feel comfortable, safe, and intimate. For others, it may be a particular angle where they look their best or which targets their clit.
Take your time to explore different positions and see which ones have your lady panting and ready to explode!
Stay Vocal During Sex
Silence may be golden in the library but in the bedroom? Not so much. Great sex is synonymous with great communication. A little moan here and a slight ‘faster’ there can make all the difference when it comes to giving your lady the Big O.
Encourage her to tell you exactly what she wants and not to be afraid about telling you what isn’t working. This can take a lot of trust, so make the bedroom a safe place where she is free to express herself.
If your partner is shy, you can always take the lead. Ask her if she is enjoying what you are doing, if she wants you to go deeper, speed up, or increase the pressure. This will help her to open up and ensure you hit the right spots to take her to orgasm.
It is also important to tell her that what she is doing to you feels good and that she is beautiful and sexy. Sex can make some women feel self-conscious so encouraging her can really help her to relax.
Remember that it isn’t just about what she says. Pay attention to her physical reactions and body language. If she is writhing in a certain direction, that probably means your tongue, fingers or penis need to go that way. Watch out for those curled toes or the gripping of sheets. It’s like she’s waving a flag saying, “You’re on the right track!”
Find the Right Technique and Stick to It
You wouldn’t change the radio station just as the chorus of your favorite song starts, right? If you want to pleasure your lady, when you find her jam, stick to it!
For the female orgasm, consistency is key. Constantly changing techniques is one of the biggest quoted sources of frustration for women. It’s like pulling the rug out from under her just as she’s about to do a victory dance.
Again, reading her reactions is crucial. A sultry arch of her back, a twitch in her thigh, a fierce pull of your hair – these are more than just reactions. They’re her body’s way of giving you a standing ovation.
If your lady finds it hard to orgasm, getting her to this point has probably taken a significant amount of hard work on your part. So don’t let your jaw strain or tired arms all be for nothing. Stick to it, keep communicating, and take your lady all the way to the pleasure finish line.
Introduce Sex Toys
Too many men are intimidated by sex toys, but this is depriving themselves and their ladies of a whole world of orgasmic opportunities.
It is time to change these dinosaur views and start looking at sex toys as your allies in this pleasure expedition. Remember that sex toys are here to serve and stimulate, not replace! It’s like having your own set of James Bond gadgets, except they are designed to make your lady cum not take out a KGB spy.
The best thing about sex toys is they come in an array of tantalizing types:
Not all heroes wear capes. Some just vibrate. They offer different speeds and pulsations that can light up her world like a 4th of July fireworks show. Some vibrators like the Rampant Rabbit stimulate multiple pleasure points at once for layered orgasms. You can encourage your lady to buzz herself in front of you, vibe her clit during penetration, or take over toy duties yourself.
Dildos are also a lot of fun because they simulate a real-life penis. Your lady can use a dildo to penetrate herself just as she likes it or you can add one to sex for some DP fun. Glass dildos can also be warmed up and cooled down for temperature play. For some women, these unique sensations are a one-way trip to orgasm heaven.
If your lady enjoys a little backdoor action, an anal plug can be a great addition to the bedroom. Anal plugs can be used both to give your lady an anal orgasm and can also enhance vaginal orgasms by pushing up against the vaginal wall. The trick if your partner is new to anal play is always to start with the smallest possible anal plug and use plenty of lube!
Navigating the intricate maze of female pleasure is a whole lot of fun! It is about understanding and appreciating what makes her tick, twitch, or totally lose it. The journey to the Big O can be an amazing experience to share. There may be mishaps along the way, but that’s okay! Let the mishaps be a source of giggles, and the orgasmic discoveries a cause for celebration!