Look man, we all know bringing up sex toys with your wife can feel awkward, even if the spark’s there. You want to keep things fun, not make it uncomfortable.
The thing is, 58.9% of women are interested in using toys—the interest is real, it’s just the chat that feels tricky. Just a smart, playful way to open the door. Here’s how to make it easy (and maybe even a bit fun).
In this article, we'll cover:
Conversations You Should Have With Your Wife That Spark Her Genuine Excitement & Curiosity About Sex Toys
If you want to get your wife excited about the idea of introducing sex toys into your life, it all starts with the right conversation. No one wants to feel like they’re being pressured into something new, so the key here is creating intrigue, excitement, and trust.
Below, we’ll dive into some specific examples that will help you start that conversation in the best way possible.
Example #1 – Building Anticipation & Intrigue
Start by sparking her curiosity with a little playful mystery, this is like foreplay to the mind. You might say something like,
Okay… so I might’ve stumbled on something kinda naughty today. Got me thinking… you and me, alone, trying something we’ve never done before. Wanna hear it?
How You Should Say It
Why This Works
Example #2 – Highlighting Her Pleasure & Self-Discovery
Focus on her pleasure and invite her to explore something new just for her. Try saying,
I love how I know what turns you on… and it makes me wonder—what haven’t we discovered yet? Kinda hot to think about, right?
How You Should Say It
Why This Works
Example #3 – Framing Toys As An Exciting Adventure You’ll Embark On Together
Turn it into a shared adventure you can both enjoy by saying,
You know how we’re already good in bed? Imagine turning that up a notch. Like, us testing some new… equipment. Strictly for science, of course.
How You Should Say It
Why This Works
Example #4 – Using A Sexy Hypothetical Scenario To Gauge Her Interest
Try a playful “what if” scenario to get her thinking without any pressure:
What if we had a night where we just broke all the rules? Like, candles, no clothes… and maybe a little toy action? Totally hypothetical... unless you’re into it.
How You Should Say It
Why This Works
Example #5 – Sharing A Positive Real-Life Experience From Another Couple
Normalize the idea by casually mentioning how others have had fun. Making it relatable removes the “weird” factor.
A friend of mine was telling me how much more fun their sex life has become since they started experimenting with toys. Have you ever thought about trying something like that?
How You Should Say It
Why This Works
At the end of the day, introducing sex toys into your relationship is about communication and trust. Keep the conversation light, fun, and focused on shared excitement, and you’ll be well on your way to a more fulfilling sexual connection.
Now that you know how to start the conversation, let’s get into some expert tips on how to spark her curiosity and build genuine excitement around trying toys together.
Andrew’s Expert Tips On Getting Your Wife Excited & Open To Toys
Getting your wife interested in trying sex toys isn’t about pushing boundaries—it’s about unlocking new ones together. With the right mix of trust, playfulness, and good timing, you can turn curiosity into connection. These tips will help you keep things light, exciting, and full of chemistry.
Tip #1 – Show Genuine Enthusiasm Without Pressure
Let her know you’re excited about the idea, but there’s no pressure. This isn’t about being dissatisfied—it’s about exploring new ways to boost your sexual performance together. Keep the conversation open and playful, not mentally locked into any expectations.
Say something like, “I thought it could be interesting to try something new—what do you think?” When you make it feel like a shared adventure, she’s more likely to feel comfortable and curious.
Tip #2 – Reinforce Her Sexiness & Appeal When Suggesting Toys
Confidence grows when someone feels desired. Let her know she’s sexy, and that exploring things like female masturbation, whether with a vibrator or a dildo, is about her pleasure, not about fixing anything.
Try saying something like, “You already drive me crazy—I can only imagine how hot it would be with something extra, just for you.” Framing it this way shows it’s about her pleasure. When she feels sexy and in control, she’s more likely to get curious and open to exploring.
Tip #3 – Combine Toys With Sensual Experiences She Already Loves
If she enjoys massages or romantic nights in, try introducing a toy into those familiar moments. Say something like, “How about we add something new to our next massage night? I guess it could be fun to see where it takes us.”
Linking toys to something she already enjoys helps her feel comfortable, lowers any pressure, and makes the idea feel more playful than serious. A vibrator introduced this way feels less intimidating—and if it’s not her thing right away, that’s totally fine. The goal is to keep things light and full of curiosity.
Tip #4 – Give Her Complete Control In Choosing & Using the Toy
Empower her to decide what she wants to try—vibrator, dildo, or something else entirely. Let her take the lead, whether that means doing a little private browsing or turning it into a fun shopping experience together.
Try saying, “Why don’t you check out a few things and see what looks interesting to you?” Giving her control is one of the best ways to ensure she doesn’t feel uncomfortable and that the process feels exciting, not overwhelming.
Tip #5 – Celebrate Small Steps & Positive Responses Enthusiastically
Whether it’s her first time mentioning it in a chat or your first time trying something together, every step counts. Be sure to celebrate it. A line like, “I love how open-minded you are—it’s so sexy when we try new things together,” shows appreciation and keeps things fun.
When she feels your support and hope for more great experiences, she’ll feel more confident exploring her sexuality with you.
Introducing sex toys into your relationship can be fun and exciting when approached with care and enthusiasm. But to make sure you’re on the same page, it’s important to understand any concerns she might have. Let’s now take a look at a woman’s perspective on how to address those unsaid worries about using sex toys.
A Woman's Perspective..
On How To Address Your Wife’s Concerns About Using Sex Toys
Alright, guys, exploring sex toys after years together can bring up some worries for her. Understanding these concerns is key to making the transition smooth and enjoyable for both of you. Let’s break down how to handle them with ease.
Concern #1 – "Will Toys Make Our Intimacy Less Genuine?"
This is a big one. In a long-term marriage, intimacy is more than just sex—it’s a connection. So it’s natural for her to wonder if introducing toys might make things feel less personal or even a little artificial.
Solution
Concern #2 – "I Feel Embarrassed Or Awkward About Using Toys"
Sex toys aren’t always the easiest thing to talk about, especially if you’ve never used them before. For a lot of women, it’s not that they’re against the idea—it’s that they feel a little awkward even bringing it up.
Solution
Concern #3 – "Do Toys Mean I'm Not Satisfying Enough?"
This one cuts deep. In marriage, where emotional and physical connection runs deep, the idea of bringing toys into the bedroom can specifically make her wonder, “Am I not enough for you?” That fear isn’t about ego—it’s about vulnerability.
Solution
Concern #4 – "Are Sex Toys Safe & Hygienic?"
Hygiene’s a real concern—and after years together, you both know safety isn’t something to mess with. It’s totally normal for her to be cautious about how clean sex toys are.
Solution
Concern #5 – "I Don’t Know If I’ll Enjoy It"
Let’s be real—trying something new in the bedroom can feel awkward, specifically in a long-term marriage where you’ve got a rhythm going. She might be unsure if sex toys are her thing, and that hesitation is totally normal.
Solution
By understanding and addressing her concerns with empathy and humor, you’ll help her feel more comfortable and open to the idea of sex toys. After all, a strong relationship thrives on communication, trust, and mutual pleasure.
The key is to make sure you’re both on the same page and that you’re respecting her feelings and boundaries while still keeping things hot and exciting! Now, before you dive in, let’s answer some lingering questions you might have to make sure you’re both fully ready to explore.
Frequently Asked Questions
This whole "exploring sex toys with the missus" idea can feel a bit intimidating. But you’re not the only husband wondering how to bring it up. Here are some common questions men have—and straight-up answers to keep you from putting your foot in it.
It depends on her comfort level. Some women prefer solo play to ease into the idea of using a sex toy, giving them time to explore stimulation at their own pace. Others enjoy diving in together as a couple. The key is to make sure she feels in control, not under pressure—whether you’re introducing toys into penetrative sex or using them in other ways.
That belief is more common than you might assume, especially in long-term relationships. Keep the conversation light and judgment-free. Present sex toys as tools for exploration and pleasure—nothing more. They're not replacing anything; they’re just adding something new. Think of it as a way to keep daily life exciting, not just in the bedroom.
Yes. The best sex toys aren't just about stronger orgasms—they’re about communication, trust, and breaking routine. When couples try new things together, they build intimacy. For relationships that have been around a few years or more, that spark really matters. It’s less about the toy and more about the experience you create together.
Pay attention. If she seems hesitant or disconnected, talk to her. Ask how she feels and encourage her to describe her thoughts or any concerns in her own words. Listen without trying to convince her otherwise. You want a partner who’s engaged and comfortable, not someone just going along with something she’s unsure about.
Then that’s her choice, and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with asking, and nothing wrong with her saying no. The most important thing is that she feels respected. Sex toys aren’t the goal—connection is. Respecting each other’s boundaries strengthens trust and creates more room for authentic intimacy.
Ready to take your skills to the next level? Join our exclusive online course “Squirting Triggers” and gain in-depth knowledge with expert guidance, easy-to-follow step-by-step explanations, live demonstrations, and two female perspectives. Don’t just read about it – master it! Enroll today and start transforming your life. Get started Now!
