How To Introduce Sex Toys For Enhanced Intimacy In Your Relationship? (And Skip The Awkward Part)

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How To Introduce Sex Toys For Enhanced Intimacy In Your Relationship? (And Skip The Awkward Part)

Marco and Ivy happily shopping together for sex toys, comfortably discussing options to enhance intimacy.
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Have you ever thought about casually dropping, “Hey babe, wanna try my shiny new dildo?” at dinner? If you're sweating bullets—um, why exactly?


90% (man, that's nine f*cking zero) of WOMEN say they’re totally down to try sex toys with their partner, so chill, grab your lube, and let's chat about how to introduce sex toys without it getting weird.

In this article, we'll cover:

  • Learn how to confidently start the sex toy convo (new relationship or long-term)
  • Steal 10 playful lines to casually suggest sex toys (& why they work)
  • Discover expert tips on smoothly introducing toys for max pleasure & intimacy

How To Naturally Bring Up Sex Toys (Without Getting Weird)

Marco comfortably talks to Ivy about introducing sex toys, keeping the conversation relaxed and open.

Suggesting sexy toys to your partner doesn’t have to feel like pitching a timeshare. Here’s how to keep it casual, fun, and non-threatening, whether you’re newly dating or deep into the trenches of long-term relationships.

Introducing Toys Early On (New Relationships)

Mentioning toys early sets a sex-positive foundation. You’re the guy who’s comfortable talking about pleasure—instant points.

Here's What You Should Do

  • Toss it out playfully, like: "Ever tried any sexy toys? Could be fun to explore together."
  • Grin, keep it breezy—like suggesting tapas, not marriage.
  • Normalize it outside the bedroom first: Share a meme or casually mention, "I saw this crazy list of the best sex toys... thoughts?"

Introducing Toys Later (Long-Term Relationships)

Bringing toys into the bedroom after years of being together isn't criticism—it’s creativity. Novelty boosts dopamine—that’s science, baby.

Here's What You Should Do

  • Pick your moment wisely—post-good-sex cuddles or lazy Sunday mornings. For example: "Last night was incredible. Imagine if we added a toy? Heard it brings new sensations."
  • Don’t imply things are stale—always frame toys as a bonus, not a Band-Aid.
  • Here’s a fun fact: Couples who play with toys regularly report stronger intimacy. Translation? Solo play can evolve into something incredible together.
  • If it feels awkward, call it out first with humor: "Alright, I’ve got a mildly awkward proposal..."

Remember, when you bring toys into your relationship, you’re signaling: “I care enough to push boundaries with you.” And trust me, no person ever got upset by someone investing in mutual pleasure.

Speaking of investing—here’s your cheat sheet of playful lines to cash in on that sexy conversation.

Example Lines to Keep It Playful, Sexy & Casual

Marco and Ivy flirtatiously exchanging playful, sexy lines about exploring sex toys together.

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Totally true—especially when it comes to sex. Here’s a cheat sheet of tried-and-tested lines that’ll effortlessly spark desire and make your partner smile (and probably blush a little, too).

I read an article about couples enhancing their intimacy with toys. What’re your thoughts on trying something new together?

Why This Works

It’s casual, low-key, and gives you plausible deniability (hey, blame the article!). You’re normalizing the idea of toys into your relationship without sounding desperate or pushy. And trust me, women love it when you’re informed—it signals sexual intelligence.

How To Say It

Bring it up casually over coffee or while lounging on the couch. Smile naturally, shrug a bit, like you’re curious—not making a sales pitch.

How would you feel if we experimented with something new to heighten our connection?

Why This Works

It’s direct, sincere, and emphasizes “connection.” Women often think intimacy first, orgasm second (I’m generalizing, but yeah, true story). This line signals you’re emotionally invested, which for most women translates directly to comfort in bed.

How To Say It

Softly and warmly, maybe during pillow talk after sex or a cozy cuddle session. Keep eye contact—make it feel like you’re genuinely curious about her response.

There's something sexy I've been curious about. Mind if I share it with you?

Why This Works

It’s mysterious, playful, and instantly grabs her attention. People love secrets—especially sexy ones. Plus, it positions her as the gatekeeper of your fantasy (which is flattering as hell).

How To Say It

With a sly grin, relaxed body language. Lean in a little, lower your voice slightly—like you're sharing a sexy little secret, because, well, you kinda are.

Ever wondered what it'd be like to use toys together? I think it could be really exciting.

Why This Works

You’re framing this as mutual exploration, an adventure for both of you. It’s non-threatening and invites curiosity. Sexually confident men suggest, not push—this is exactly that vibe.

How To Say It

Keep it playful, like a genuine, lighthearted question. Maybe say it over drinks when you're in a relaxed mood.

Let's have an adventurous date night—how about browsing a sex shop online?

Why This Works

You’ve packaged buying toys as a fun activity—like booking a spontaneous weekend getaway or trying a new restaurant. Framing sex toys as a joint adventure removes pressure and boosts excitement. Plus, calling it a “date night” implies romance, not weirdness.

How To Say It

Use an excited, spontaneous tone—like you're pitching a night at the coolest new bar. Keep your voice playful, your energy relaxed, and suggest turning a regular pizza night into a sexy, adventurous date night. You're not asking for permission—you're inviting her along on a fun, playful ride.

I think it'd be incredibly sexy to watch you explore a toy—does that intrigue you at all?

Why This Works

You’re confidently putting her pleasure front and center—women crave partners who genuinely get turned on by seeing them experience pleasure. It communicates sexual generosity and openness.

How To Say It

In a low, seductive voice during foreplay or intimate conversation. Make it obvious you're already picturing it in your mind—because frankly, you probably are.

I was thinking we could add something fun to our bedroom play—open to exploring?

Why This Works

Using words like “fun” and “exploring” keeps things easy, flexible, and playful. You’re inviting her into a safe, judgment-free space. It positions sex as play—which, is exactly what it should be.

How To Say It

Toss it out when you’re both chilling—like it just popped into your head (but we both know better). A playful eyebrow raise and some comfy silence let her imagination do the heavy lifting.

You know what could be a playful addition to our intimate time? A toy we've both never tried.

Why This Works

It directly emphasizes novelty and teamwork—two things long-term couples especially crave. People bond strongest through shared new experiences (pro tip: the brain loves novelty).

How To Say It

Easygoing, smiling, like you’re suggesting trying a new Netflix series—comfortable, fun, and zero pressure.

How about we each pick a toy we’re curious about and surprise each other?

Why This Works

Turning sex toy recommendations into a game makes things exciting, removes any awkwardness, and creates anticipation. Plus, it allows both parties equal control, which women particularly appreciate.

How To Say It

Pitch it like you're both secret agents assigned to pick out each other's pleasure gadgets—extra points for spy-level secrecy and playful competition.

I’d love to make our nights even hotter—can I show you something I found?

Why This Works

Straightforward, confident, but affectionate. Suggesting you’ve already found something taps into curiosity and shows genuine care. Women appreciate it when you take the initiative (as long as you leave room for their input).

How To Say It

Do it when she’s distracted by something totally ordinary—arms around her waist while she’s chopping veggies or scrolling through her phone—so you can catch her off guard with warmth, confidence, and that "I've got something naughty to show you" energy.

Look, here’s the deal—lines are great, but it’s all about the delivery. Confidence and authenticity are king. Just talk to her like you’re partners in crime, figuring out how to rob boredom outta your sex life. Trust me, she’ll appreciate your boldness.

Now that you've got your lines locked down, let's talk strategy—here's exactly how to pull off the heist.

Andrew’s Expert Tips On Successfully Introducing Sex Toys Into The Bedroom

Marco and Ivy confidently experimenting with a sex toy, playfully exploring pleasure together in the bedroom.

Alright, you've nailed the intro lines—now let's make sure you don't blow the delivery. So grab a coffee (or a beer, I won’t judge), and let’s talk about the game plan.

Tip #1 – Pick The Right Moment (Timing is Everything, Bro)

Look, there’s a magical window after orgasm—call it the “sex fog” or "post-pleasure window". Everyone’s relaxed, satisfied, and open as hell. This is your optimal time—a.k.a. the time when you make your move.

  • “Holy shit, that was amazing. Imagine how insane it’d be adding a toy next time?”
  • “Uh, babe, you wanna talk vibrators?” (Mid-morning, over scrambled eggs)

Strike when dopamine’s high and barriers are low, my guy. It’s science, with benefits.

Tip #2 – Trigger Her Erotic Curiosity (Comfort’s Good, But Sexy Wins)

Dude, too many guys treat toys like safety equipment—“don’t worry, it’s gentle.” Nah, man. Excite her imagination. Tease her curiosity.

  • “You know what drives me nuts? Imagining you totally losing control from a vibrator.”
  • “Don’t worry, sweetheart, it’s safe, soft, FDA-approved…”

Comfort’s nice, but curiosity gets panties off. Play to win.

Tip #3 – Call It Foreplay, Not Beginner’s Class

Forget “beginner-friendly.” That’s for swimming lessons, not your bedroom—frame toys as erotic foreplay: feathers, textures, nipple toys—stuff made purely for teasing.

  • “This bad boy’s all about teasing. Bet I’ll have you begging way before we even get started...”
  • “It’s small, easy, a nice starter model for novices.”

Seduction, not instruction manuals. Remember, toys should say “get ready,” not “get comfortable.”

Tip #4 – Sexy Fantasy Talk, Not Health Class Lecture

Clinical talk kills the mood faster than grandma walking in mid-stroke. Get imaginative, descriptive, and horny as hell.

  • “Picture this: vibrations climbing slowly up your thighs, making your entire body shiver...”
  • “Studies say vibrators effectively increase clitoral stimulation.”

You’re her lover, not her doctor. Turn her on, don’t educate her.

Tip #5 – Erotic Storytelling Is Your New Best Friend

Women are into stories. Erotic narratives work way better than blunt proposals. Paint a picture she can’t resist.

  • “Imagine—we’re home alone, lights dimmed, and I’m sliding a new toy slowly over every sensitive inch of your body…”
  • “Got a toy—wanna use it or nah?”

Storytelling equals anticipation. Anticipation equals dripping wet excitement. It’s math.

Tip #6 – Go Hard On The Sensory Details

Ever notice how a detailed restaurant menu makes you hungry? Same with sex toys. Sell the sensations, build the anticipation.

  • “I got something that pulses, warms up slowly, and sends tingles through your body… wanna test-drive it Friday?”
  • “Yeah, it’s a basic toy. It buzzes.”

She needs to feel it before she touches it. Make her body beg for it.

Tip #7 – Hand Her The Remote, Watch Her Melt

Wanna know a secret? Most women secretly love control. Give her the remote to an app-controlled vibrator and watch her go wild.

  • “What if you had full control over exactly how intense your pleasure got—and I had to helplessly watch you squirm?”
  • “Lie still, I’ll drive this thing.”

Letting her explore? Sexy as hell—and she’ll thank you later with enthusiasm.

Tip #8 – Playful Experimentation Beats Sexual Improvement

Listen, never make it sound like you’re fixing your sex life. Toys aren’t a relationship therapist—they’re fun as hell accessories. Keep it playful.

  • “Our sex life’s already fire. Adding toys is like extra hot sauce on already delicious tacos.”
  • “Yeah, I think we need a toy. Things have felt pretty average lately.”

Positive vibes only. This is playtime—not therapy.

Successfully adding sex toys requires expert framing—timing, imagination, storytelling, and carefully chosen words. Master these nuances, and you're not just introducing toys; you're unlocking deeper sexual trust and pleasure.

Now, before you confidently charge ahead, let's hear from the other side—because trust me, women have a very specific list of toy-intro "don’ts."

A Woman's Perspective.. 

On What To Avoid When Introducing Sex Toys

from Isabel
SEXUALITY COACH
Isabel, certified sexologist at SQL and SOS, confidently sharing a woman's perspective on avoiding mistakes when introducing sex toys.

As a sex educator, I’ve heard it all—from toy intros that went magically right, to those that ended with a vibrator-shaped hole in the bedroom wall (kidding... sort of). So, here’s my rundown of common mistakes to dodge, ensuring that the toy debut feels less awkward and more “heck yes!” for you both.

I. Avoid Surprising Your Partner Without Prior Discussion (No Ambush Toys)

Surprises can be amazing—like flowers or spontaneous road trips. But toys? Not so much.

Here Are Your Dos & Don'ts

  • Randomly pressing a vibrator on her body mid-sex without warning? Instant anxiety spike. Trust me, bad move.
  • Have the chat first—literally say, “I was thinking about toys… how do you feel about that?” She deserves a heads-up.
  • A quick conversation is way sexier (and safer) than an unplanned dildo reveal. The most important part is she feels comfortable, not blindsided.

II. Avoid Pressuring Your Partner To Use Toys (Or Puppy-Eyed Guilt Trips)

Hmm, wanna know the fastest way to ruin this? Pressure her into agreeing.

How To Avoid The Pressure

  • No guilt-tripping, no “but everyone else does it,” and absolutely no sad-puppy eyes.
  • Pressure sends her running in the opposite direction—trust me, a pressured “YES” feels worse than a genuine “NO.”
  • Optimal move: respect her pace. Say, “Hey, zero pressure. If it ever feels right, let me know. I’m good either way.” Patience is sexy as hell.

III. Avoid Choosing Toys Without Your Partner's Input (This Isn’t Your Birthday Present)

Here’s a secret: when a woman chooses the toy, she emotionally owns it—meaning she’ll actually want to use it.

Here's What You Should Do

  • Don't buy a toy solo and surprise her with something totally tailored to your fantasies (especially anal play—definitely don’t do that without discussion).
  • Include her. “Found something interesting—wanna help me pick?” is the vibe.
  • Choosing together makes her a co-creator, not a passive recipient. That's genuine partnership.

IV. Avoid Focusing Solely On The Toy During Intimacy

Look, toys are great—but they’re supporting actors, not headliners. The real focus should always stay on each other.

Here's What You Should Do

  • If she feels like you're obsessing over the toy more than her, the intimacy vanishes.
  • Use toys to amplify connection—not replace it. Touch her, kiss her, keep eye contact.
  • The core of sexual health isn’t the mechanics; it’s maintaining that emotional spark between you.

Bringing toys into your sex life should feel safe, playful, and bonding—not anxiety-inducing or awkward. Communicate openly, let her participate in decisions, and always center intimacy over novelty. Toys come and go—but trust, comfort, and connection? Those are forever.

Now that you know how to keep the trust (and avoid toy-induced disasters), let's rapid-fire through your biggest questions.

Frequently Asked Questions

Still have some nagging questions? Let’s tackle a few common questions you guys have when thinking about bringing sex toys into a partnered sex life.

What if she feels insecure about trying sex toys during partnered sex?

Well, insecurity is normal—she might wonder, "Am I not enough?" Shut that down immediately. Reassure her clearly: “Babe, our sex life rocks. I just think using a sex toy could be a hot bonus.”

Give her control: let her hold the toy first. Make sure she leads—her comfort, her pace. Check in regularly: "Feel good?" "Want me to keep going?" Confidence is contagious. Reassurance wins every time.

What are the best sex toys to start with as beginners?

Keep it stupid-simple. My expert pick? A Hitachi Wand—easy, versatile, zero intimidation. Great for clit stimulation during penetrative sex. Avoid advanced gear (save bondage or anal plugs for after this beginner course). Start friendly, easy, and fun. Pro tip: Waterproof = shower fun, less pressure, more laughter.

How do you make sure she actually enjoys using the toy?

Rule #1: Ask, don't assume. Encourage her input—“Guide my hand, tell me exactly what feels good.”
Start slow—no jackhammer vibes right out the gate. Layer the toy into your existing routine—kiss her neck, use your hands, maintain eye contact. It’s teamwork, not a solo mission. The toy is an enhancement, not a replacement. Hot tip: Always use lube—trust me, friction kills fun fast.

Are sex toys common and normal for couples?

Oh god, yes. Toys are mainstream—think Netflix-level mainstream. Millions of couples swear by them, so you're in great company. However, toys don’t threaten a healthy relationship; it thrives on experimentation. Saying, “Lots of couples try this stuff,” instantly normalizes the subject. Using sex toys is now a sign of a secure, adventurous relationship. Welcome to modern sex, my friend.

What if you bring sex toys, try it, and it doesn’t go as planned?

First off, breathe. Awkward first tries are basically a rite of passage. Laugh it off—“Okay, noted—not our smoothest move. Let’s call that one a learning experience.” Talk afterward: What went wrong? Wrong intensity? Wrong placement? User error? (No shame!). Not every penetration or toy usage is mind-blowing immediately. That’s reality.

Ready to take your skills to the next level? Join our exclusive online course, “Squirting Triggers,” and gain in-depth knowledge with expert guidance, easy-to-follow step-by-step explanations, live demonstrations, and two female perspectives. Don’t just read about it – master it! Enroll today and start transforming your life. Get started Now!

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Andrew Mioch

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Andrew Mioch is a certified sexologist and one of the world’s leading sex coaches and best-selling author after spending 10 years learning from experts all over the world.

Andrew has personally coached over 5,000 men. His expertise is regularly sought in publications such as Men's Health, Medium, and Cosmopolitan Magazine.

These days, Andrew spends most of his time coaching clients privately and also through SQL’s online Mastery Academy.

Disclosure: Our content is reader-supported. This means if you click on some of our links, then we may earn a commission. We only recommend products that we believe will add value to our readers.

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