Why Do I Soak the Bed When I Come?

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Why Do I Soak the Bed When I Come?

There are lots of things about sex that can be unpleasant or even embarrassing. While there’s no shame at all in the body and its many functions, that doesn’t stop societal beliefs from shaping our feelings.

When it comes to sex, one of the more embarrassing functions can be female ejaculation or squirting. The act can be a shock to many men and women, and for this reason, there can be misunderstandings and even shame.

In today’s post, we’ll cover a common topic of shame among women: soaking the bed when they come. So if you soak the bed when you come and you want to learn more about why that is, read on. You’ll learn not only why you shouldn’t feel ashamed, but also why you should feel proud of your body’s natural functions.

Female Ejaculation Versus Squirting

Before we dive into the topic at hand, let’s clear up some confusion.

Female ejaculation. Coming. Squirting.

These terms are often used interchangeably, but is female ejaculation the same as squirting? Confusingly, the answer is yes and no.

If you use female ejaculation to mean the expulsion of fluid from the urethra during arousal or intercourse, then it can stand in for both true female ejaculation and squirting.

The difference between the two is based on the type and volume of liquid expelled.

With true female ejaculation, the liquid that comes from the urethra is milky white. It doesn’t squirt or flow but usually drips out. The overall amount is usually small.

With squirting, the liquid that flows is colorless and odorless. It can either gush out or trickle out and it’s sometimes confused with urination.

For the sake of brevity, we’ll use female ejaculation to refer to any expulsion of fluid from the urethra. As it relates to the topic of soaking the bed, it will mean squirting based on the volume of liquid.

Why Do I Soak the Bed When I Come?

If you’re someone who soaks the bed when they come, you may be embarrassed and scared. You may even avoid intercourse or partner play because of this embarrassment.

So first and foremost, is it normal to soak the bed when you come? The answer is an unequivocal YES!

Ejaculation or squirting during sex is normal and it’s a sign of a good time.

But what exactly is the fluid that’s soaking the bed? Are you wetting the bed during orgasm?

It’s true that ejaculatory fluids can contain some urine, but it’s not purely made up of urine and it’s not the same as peeing.

Squirting starts with the Skene’s glands, two glands located internally on either side of the urethra. While often referred to as the “female prostate,” this comparison isn’t entirely true as the prostate has functions that the female body simply doesn’t require.

Here’s a quick primer on female anatomy. When the squirting fluids are ready to be released, they leave the Skene’s glands and travel through the bladder. This is where traces of urine may be picked up. The fluids then journey down through the urethra where its finally ejected. For some women, squirting can initially feel like the urge to pee but that soon disappears as the climax gets closer.

How do we know the Skene’s gland plays a role in squirting? Based on the contents of ejaculatory fluids. The fluids in women show similar contents as those in men (without the semen, of course). That is, it contains elements like “prostate specific antigen, prostatic acidic phosphatase, prostate specific acid phosphatase, and glucose.”

Frequently Asked Questions About Soaking the Bed During Sex

Do you have more questions about soaking the bed during sex? Here are the answers to some frequently asked questions.

Do Women Always Ejaculate During Sex?

Just as an orgasm doesn’t always happen during sex, neither does ejaculation. Though, the same can be said even during orgasm. For some women, ejaculation only occurs under very specific circumstances like g-spot stimulation. For others, ejaculation is more likely to happen than not.

Can I Teach Myself or My Partner to Ejaculate?

While the vast majority of women can physically ejaculate, there are some women who are more prone to it than others. If a woman is mentally open to the idea of squirting, then it’s possible to teach yourself or your partner to squirt. However, mental blocks can be a big reason that most women find they “can’t” squirt. The good news is, whether for yourself or your partner, you can learn to squirt.

Our article on how to make your partner squirt might be useful for you.

Can I Stop Myself from Ejaculating?

The answer will vary for each person. Even if you are able to stop yourself from ejaculating, the real question is why would you want to? While ejaculating during sex may be embarrassing at first, it’s important to remember it’s natural and a sign that you’re enjoying yourself. If you feel pressure to stop because your partner has negative things to say about it, then I’d recommend a mature conversation on the topic.


Whether you refer to it as squirting, ejaculating, or coming, one thing is for sure: it’s a natural bodily function that more women should embrace.

Some women experience a little trickle while others full-on soak the bed. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, it’s a sign that you’re having a good time and you (or your partner) are doing something right.

So the next time you feel ashamed of soaking the bed when you come, remember that it’s a normal bodily function of pleasure. And if you’re someone who wants to learn to squirt, then be sure to check out the blog for more information on sex, squirting, and pleasure.

Laura Rose Halliday

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