Do you feel like you’re “broken” because you’ve tried and tried and you just can’t squirt?
Do you feel like squirting comes easily to every other woman in the world?
I’m here to tell you that you’re not broken, and you’re certainly not alone.
Squirting comes naturally to many women, but not all. And it’s usually not a physical limitation, but a mental one.
In this post, I’ll dive deep into what squirting is and who can squirt. I’ll also cover reasons why you may find yourself unable to squirt. Finally, I’ll share five tips that are sure to bring you to squirting success.
So if you’re ready to soak the sheets, then keep reading.
What is Squirting?
Squirting is the expulsion of a colorless, odorless fluid from the urethra during arousal or orgasm. It can be a forceful spurt, a less forceful gush, or even a trickle.
Squirting is sometimes mistakenly called female ejaculation. And for good reason! They share a lot of similarities.
For one, both female ejaculatory fluids and squirting fluids originate in the Skene’s glands. These are two glands on both sides of the urethral opening.
The fluids also both come out of the urethra.
There is a difference between the two, though. While squirting fluid is colorless, odorless, and watery, ejaculatory fluid is thicker and has a milky hue.
The other big difference between the two is how they get expelled from the urethra.
Female ejaculatory fluids trickle out of the Skene’s glands and immediately out of the urethra. This is why they’re thick and white—it’s undiluted.
Squirting fluids, though, will start in the Skene’s glands and then travel up the ureter into the bladder. Here they collect a bit of urine before exiting the urethra.
So is squirting fluid just pee then?
It’s a bit more complicated than that. Squirting fluids do contain diluted urine. They also contain components similar to male semen but without the sperm. So squirting isn’t peeing yourself, it just happens to involve a bit of pee.
Who Can Squirt?
According to a 2013 literature review, up to 54% of women can squirt.
I think the number is reflective of women who squirt easily, though. That is, women who squirt spontaneously during intercourse or pleasure.
I believe the number of women who can learn how to squirt is much higher than that.
Assuming you have the parts necessary for squirting, namely skene’s glands, a bladder, and a urethra, there should be no reason you couldn’t squirt.
Why Can’t I Squirt?
I believe everyone with a vagina has the ability to squirt.
If you’ve tried and failed to squirt before, you may be thinking, “What’s wrong with me?”
I assure you, nothing is wrong with you. Just like orgasming, squirting comes easier to some women than others. That doesn’t mean that you can’t learn to squirt, though.
So what are some common reasons for a woman who has been unable to squirt thus far?
There are two possibilities: physical and mental.
Physically, a woman may find herself unable to squirt if she’s not being pleasured properly. This may mean there is no proper foreplay and buildup, or it may mean that stimulation of the g-spot is being done poorly.
Mentally, a woman may not feel safe enough or relaxed enough to open herself up to such a vulnerability. This may require some work on her end, or it may require work between herself and her partner to ensure openness and trust.
What’s important here is that you pinpoint the problem so you can then use the tips below to your advantage.
Learn How to Squirt With These 5 Tips
Do you want to learn how to squirt? Whether alone or with a partner, these tips will leave you soaking the sheets in no time!
Get Into the Right Mindset
If I had to put a number on it, I’d say that mindset is 99% of what it takes to squirt.
Did I derive that number scientifically? No. But my experience tells me that a woman’s mental state is what’s most important to achieving something as vulnerable as squirting.
If you’re trying to squirt by yourself, then it’s really about giving yourself permission to relax and release.
If your mind is wandering, you may need to take some time to write down your thoughts in a journal. Use this time to decompress and completely empty your mind of the day’s events, of tomorrow’s expectations, and of anything else nagging at you.
If you’re trying to squirt with a partner, it requires a lot of vulnerability and trust. This means open communication and a developed sense of safety and security. This isn’t something you can just switch on, but with the right partner it’s absolutely possible to have.
Also remember that you’re not performing. Whether you do squirt or you don’t squirt doesn’t matter as long as you enjoy yourself.
Get (Really) Aroused
For some women, squirting occurs during high arousal. For other women, it only happens during climax. Either way, you need to be really aroused for it to happen.
How you get there specifically will depend on your preferences. But there is one common ingredient that you need to include: anticipation.
Arousal for women is as much mental as it is physical.
Assuming you already have trust and a level of vulnerability with your partner (or yourself, even), the most important thing is to build up anticipation.
This will increase your sexual tension and, by the end, you’ll be begging for its release.
So what does this look like?
You or your partner can start building anticipation hours, or even days, in advance.
You can begin by leaving naughty notes or sending sexy text messages back and forth with your partner. Perhaps you do some roleplay where your partner is a date you picked up at a bar and you’re in the early flirting phase of the relationship.
As these naughty messages escalate, you may even feel inspired to send some naughty pictures back and forth. Have fun, and get creative.
As the time gets closer, use physical touch to your advantage.
Walk by your partner and caress their buttocks. You can often even do so discretely in public to up the ante.
When at home, be more brash in your physical touch by gently poking a nipple or swiping your hand across their pubic mound.
By the time you’re ready to get started, both you and your partner are ready to go. That doesn’t mean some proper foreplay isn’t in order, though. Take the time to kiss, caress, nibble, and fondle before you really get into it.
Don’t Skimp on the Lube
Even with proper arousal, using a high-quality lubricant can minimize any potential discomfort. It can also sensitize the areas you’re targeting, like the clitoris or g-spot.
There are plenty of lubes to try, and you may already have a preference. If you’re in the market for a lubricant you really love, though, then here’s a breakdown of the different types:
- Water-based: The universal lubricant, these are compatible with all condoms and sex toys. They don’t stain clothing or bedding, and they offer just enough slip and slide to get you there. Do keep in mind that reapplication may be needed.
- Silicone-based: A longer-lasting lubricant, silicone-based lubes are great for activities where stopping to reapply will mellow your arousal. Just keep in mind that these are not compatible with silicone-based sex toys. They may also require more cleanup.
- Oil-based: Best used for body massage, oil-based lubricants aren’t recommended for penetrative sex as they may cause irritation or even infection. Use these during the foreplay stage to give your partner a sensual massage. Just be sure to use old sheets or towels for cleanup as the oils will stain.
Whichever lubricant you use, it never hurts to test it out externally first. This ensures there are no reactions or irritations, and that both you and your partner are happy with the quality.
Find the Right Position
The right position can make all the difference.
Whether you’re alone or with a partner, the right position can provide easy access to the g-spot and relax the pelvis so you can really lean into the release.
So what’s a good position for you?
The “right” position will vary from person to person. In general, though, a good position for squirting is one that hits the g-spot.
So not necessarily deep, but instead positions which angle the penis or the sex toy upwards towards the anterior vaginal wall.
For partnered positions, try doggy style, reverse cowgirl, or traditional spoon.
The other benefit to these positions is that these keep the clitoris available for stimulation during sex. So you or your partner can stimulate the clitoris while your g-spot is also being stimulated.
If you’re doing it alone, you can still take inspiration from the partnered positions mentioned above. You may need to get a bit creative by modifying the position or using specialty sex toys (suction cup dildo, for example).
The goal, in whatever position you’re in, is to stimulate the g-spot. So have fun experimenting.
From your partner’s perspective, they may want to read this article which gives details on how to make a woman squirt.
Pro Tip: Strengthen Those Kegels
The kegels are a grouping of muscles located in the pelvis of both men and women. They drape, almost like a hammock, and they are necessary for things like bladder control, core strength, and they even aid in childbirth.
Kegels also involvuntarily contract during orgasm, and stronger contractions mean more intense orgasms.
So why do you need to strengthen the kegels?
The kegels can weaken for many reasons, especially in women. Poor kegel strength can lead to things such as incontinence. They can also mean weaker orgasms.
But even if you don’t notice signs of weak kegels, like incontinence, it never hurts to exercise them. After all, how can you know if your orgasms are as strong as they could be if you’re not flexing those muscles?
When done regularly, kegels can even increase your ability to squirt or turn you from someone who trickles to someone who gushes.
Fortunately, you can do kegel exercises anytime and anywhere. Here’s how.
Kegels involve a tensing of the muscles which you can first practice by stopping the flow or urine. You feel that tug? That’s a kegel contraction. This is what you want to feel when performing your exercises.
Now that you know what to aim for, here are two tips to keep in mind:
- Keep it short: One five-minute session per day, or shorter one-minute sessions throughout the day, are enough.
- Keep it varied: As you exercise, be sure to vary the length of time that you’re clenching and uncleanching. You may do a quick 1-to-1 clench-unclench cycle, or practice holding a clench for five seconds and then release for one second before clenching again. Keep it varied to maximize the benefit.
You can even practice kegels when in different positions. For example, when standing versus sitting versus squatting. This will go a long way to ensuring the muscles are right when in any sex position.
It’s true that squirting isn’t necessary to achieve sexual pleasure. But, it is fun.
So if you struggle with squirting, I urge you to follow the five tips outlined above.
With a little persistence, and a lot of practice, you too can be squirting by yourself or with a partner.
Do you have questions about squirting? Leave them below!