How to Orgasm Faster, For Women

  • Laura Rose Halliday
  • Published: August 2, 2023

According to a 2020 study of more than 600 women, the average time to orgasm was 14 minutes. For men, that time is closer is five to seven minutes. This is likely a major contributor to the orgasm gap, which explains why only 65% of women in heterosexual relationships report orgasms during intercourse as compared to 95% of men.

So, what’s the solution?

While your partner should shift their focus to your pleasure, either before or after their own, you also have the ability to speed things along. By learning to orgasm faster, you can experience a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life. So why not give it a try?

In this post, we’ll share seven tips for reaching climax faster. These tips can be used alone and on yourself, or with a partner. So let’s dive in!

7 Tips for How to Orgasm Faster

Here are seven tips for getting yourself to climax, faster.

1. Spend More Time With Yourself

To know what you like and what works, you need to spend more time getting acquainted with your own body. This will allow you to advocate for yourself more effectively during intercourse.

There are a lot of variations in the female body. From the depth of the g-spot within the vaginal opening to the distance between the clitoris and the urinary opening, there are many variations that cannot be accounted for. This is why you must learn about your own body so you can guide your partner during sex.

Just a few things to explore:

  • How you like your clitoris to be stimulated
  • Where to find your g-spot and how to stimulate it
  • Which erogenous zones turn you on most
  • The “order” you like to be touched in
  • How intense you need stimulation to be during penetration
  • Which sex toys have the right speed and intensity for your needs
  • How much lube to apply before penetrative sex

Feel free to explore many of these with your partner. But it never hurts to dedicate time to yourself so you can voice your needs the next time you have partnered sex.

2. Focus on the Foreplay

For women, mental preparation is just as important as physical stimulation. Without the right mindset, climax can be difficult (if not impossible) to reach.

So talk with your partner about spending more time on foreplay before penetration.

How much foreplay is necessary? That completely depends on your needs.

The average time spent on foreplay is just 10 minutes. That’s not even close to enough for most women. So if 10 minutes just isn’t cutting it for you, try 20 minutes. If that’s not enough, try 30 minutes. Continue on until you find a period of time that results in full arousal.

And what kinds of foreplay activities should you incorporate? There are so many to choose from, including:

  • Talk dirty to each other either via text or in-person
  • Have a sexy makeout session
  • Take time to explore each other’s erogenous zones
  • Perform a strip tease
  • Get (or give) an erotic massage
  • Read erotic literature together
  • Watch adult entertainment together
  • Be a tease
  • Act out a sexual fantasy

You don’t have to wait until just before intercourse to start foreplay, either. You can start hours, or even days before. Send dirty text messages, naughty photos, and just simply tease each other until it’s time to get down to business.

3. Increase Clitoral Stimulation

One mistake that most couples make during intercourse is ignoring the clitoris altogether.

While yes, it is possible for women to orgasm from penetration alone, it’s not very common.

Men shouldn’t take that as an insult or a personal challenge. It’s simply a matter of female anatomy. While some women may receive g-spot or cervical stimulation from penetration, therefore leading to climax, it often requires very specific sex positions and stimulation techniques.

The answer is to increase clitoral stimulation. This will ensure her pleasure and, in many cases, increase the rate of orgasm during sex.

Pick sex positions that either enables clitoral stimulation (e.g. Cowgirl, Amazon) or have your partner use their hand to stimulate your clitoris during intercourse.

Sex toys are another great way to increase clitoral stimulation. Speaking of…

4. Bring in the Sex Toys

For many women, sex toys are a normal part of masturbation. When it comes to sex, though, their use is minimal or even nonexistent.

There may be a few reasons for this.

One is not wanting to offend your partner. After all, using a sex toy is just admitting that your partner doesn’t please you like you want. Right?

The other reason may be embarrassment at even “needing” one to climax.

But neither reason is a valid one. If your partner can’t handle a sex toy during intercourse, there are likely larger underlying insecurities there. And as for embarrassment, you have to set it aside for the sake of your own pleasure and satisfaction.

Sex toys don’t have to be the star of the show, either.

A little bullet vibrator may be all that you need to stimulate your clitoris while being penetrated. You’ll still get pleasure from the penetration, but you’ll also have a better chance of reaching climax when your partner is ready.

5. Use More Lube

Lubricant is an absolute must with sex and sexual stimulation. It increases glide-ability, which also makes you more sensitive to touch and stimulation.

Lube can also reduce friction and make the overall experience more pleasurable for both partners.

So how much lube should you be using?

There’s no definitive answer, but if you’re asking whether you need to add more, you probably do. It never hurts to use “too much,” but it can hurt your chances of climax if you use too little.

Water-based lubricants in particular may also need to be reapplied during intercourse. This is because water-based lubricants can evaporate or otherwise rub off with contact.

6. Practice Mindful Breathing

A common phenomenon when women are straining to reach climax is to hold their breath, or at least forget to focus on their breathing. That’s not uncommon when concentrating really hard on something.

But failure to focus on your breathing can actually backfire and make it more difficult to climax.

If you find yourself suppressing your breathing during sex, then consider practicing mindful breathing. This will ensure you’re bringing in enough oxygen and not tensing your body, both of which are good for reaching climax more quickly.

You should first begin by practicing mindful breathing on your own. Here’s how:

  1. Get in a comfortable position, whether sitting or lying down.
  2. Set a timer. Start small at first (5 minutes), but gradually increase your time as you get more accustomed to the exercise.
  3. Begin to breathe normally without forcing it. Just focus on your breaths and the bodily sensations involved with inhalation and exhalation. Feel your belly fill and your chest rise, and your belly empty and your chest fall with each repetition.

Initially, your mind will likely wander. Just continue to refocus on your breathing pattern. The more you practice, the more natural it will become. You’ll then find yourself doing it throughout your day and even during activities like intercourse.

7. Communicate With Your Partner

When was the last time you had an honest conversation with your partner about sex, pleasure, and sexual satisfaction? It’s likely been a few months, or maybe even years.

If that’s the case, then now is the time to reinitiate that conversation.

It can be a difficult conversation to have, especially if you aren’t feeling particularly satisfied. But if you approach it with a problem-solving mindset, it’ll be an easier conversation to have for both of you.

Start off by letting your partner know you need to have a conversation…

  • “Hey, I’d like to talk about our satisfaction in the bedroom. Is now a good time?”
  • “Can we talk later tonight about our expectations in the bedroom?”
  • “I’m feeling a bit unsatisfied sexually, but I have some fun ideas for us to try. Can we talk?”

It’s important that you and your partner are in the right mindset during this conversation, so don’t rush it if they’re not in a good headspace. Just give them a heads-up and set a time to talk later.

During the conversation, stick to “I” statements. That is, don’t shift the blame onto your partner but just focus on your feelings. If you can also bring a solution to the conversation, even better…

  • “I’m not feeling fully satisfied during intercourse, and I think it may be because…”
  • “I feel as if my climax isn’t being prioritized during sex. I’d like to try…”

Take the time to really listen to your partner and ask that they do the same. This isn’t a time to blame or judge or humiliate the other person.

The most important thing is that this conversation should never end. That is, communication between yourself and your partner should be constant. You should always feel able to communicate your needs without judgment, and your partner should feel the same.

Conclusion

For centuries, women have been expected to put their satisfaction aside for the benefit of their partners.

Sexual satisfaction is an important element of physical and mental well-being. Because of that, it’s time for women to take charge of their own satisfaction.

One way to do so is to learn more about your body, what you like, and how you can get yourself to climax faster.

That’s not to say you have to rush, or that your partner shouldn’t put in any work themselves. In fact, when you know what you like, you can educate your partner so you’re both satisfied and sexually fulfilled.

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