Dirty talk is an often recommended part of foreplay. Getting your partner hot and bothered with your words, whether through text, in a note, or in-person, is a turn-on for many people. But dirty talk isn’t good just for foreplay.
Dirty talk during sex is fun and exhilarating. It can open you and your partner up to a whole new world of pleasure.
In this post, I’ll first explain how to get started with dirty talk. It doesn’t come naturally to most people, but anyone can become proficient in the art of talking dirty. Then I’ll outline different things to say during sex, from letting your partner know how it feels to sharing your wildest fantasies.
How to Get Started with Dirty Talk
Dirty talk is a huge turn-on for many men and women.
You don’t need the experience of a porn star or the imagination of a lit erotica writer to get it right. As long as you have a voice and the ability to string a few words together, you too can dirty talk with your partner.
At first, your dirty talk may sound stilted or even forced. This will go away with experience. To get there, here are a few phrases to set you up:
- I like it when you…
- You look so sexy when you…
- You’re so good at…
- I want to do (blank) to you
- Remember when I…?
- I really want to try…
As you get more comfortable, you’ll naturally branch out.
Tips for Talking Dirty… with Confidence
If you’ve never done it before, talking dirty may feel strange. Perhaps you feel like a knock-off porn star imitating a sultry voice. The key to sexy dirty talk, though, is confidence.
How can you talk dirty with confidence? Here are a few tips:
- Start slow. You don’t need to do it every time you have sex or the whole time. When getting started, just a phrase or two is enough.
- Know your desires. The more you know about yourself and what you like, the better you’ll be able to voice your likes and wants.
- Stop overthinking. Don’t play out every phrase in your head before you say it. Let it flow. It may be a dud or come out funny, but your partner won’t care as long as you’re trying.
- Get comfortable. The more comfortable you are with your partner, the dirtier your talk.
Even if you don’t sound so confident at first, your partner will appreciate the effort.
Things to Say Before Sex
Dirty talk during sex is one thing, but dirty talk before sex can be just as pleasurable.
Tell Them What You Want Them to Do to You
While this will play a part during sex, too, telling your partner what you want them to do to you is a great way to get them in the mood for the big event. It can also give them some ideas.
Think of this as an opportunity to write your sexual to-do list. Here are some phrases to get the juices flowing:
- I really like it when you…
- I’ve been thinking all day of when you…
- I can’t wait for you to…
And when it comes to more sexual sentiments, you can go with something along these lines:
- I want you to fill me up with your dick/I want your pussy to take my big cock
- I really like it when you nibble my neck/ear/lips/etc.
- I can’t wait for you to go down on me
- I’ve been thinking all day of when you use your tongue to circle my cock/clit
Tell Them What You Want to Do to Them
Along those same lines, tell your partner what you want to do to them.
As for initial phrases, a few easy ones include:
- Tonight, I’m going to…
- I hope you’re ready for when I…
- I can’t wait to…
- I’ve been thinking about tonight when I can finally…
And if you need a bit of inspiration, here are some ideas that are likely to go over well:
- I can’t wait to fill you with my cock/I can’t wait to take your cock in my pussy
- Tonight, I’m going to suck your cock so good/Tonight, I’m going to lick your pussy so good
- I hope you’re ready for when I cum on your tits/I hope you’re ready for when I suck your cock dry
- I’ve been thinking about tonight when I can finally hear you scream
Just like with dirty talk during sex, you’ll get more comfortable with dirty talk as foreplay. As you do, you’ll get better at tailoring your words to exactly what your partner wants to hear.
Things to Say During Sex
Now that you have an idea of how to talk dirty, here are actual things you can say. As you get better at it, you’ll find the words flow more freely and even without much thought.
Let Your Partner Know How It Feels
How often do you tell your partner how it feels during sex? While moans and groans are certainly encouraging, they’re not exactly words of guidance or encouragement. But it’s important to voice your approval – or guidance – every once in a while.
Are they hitting the spot just right? Tell them. Do you want them to go slower? Faster? Harder? Tell them.
The key to good sex is good communication.
Ask Your Partner How They Feel
It’s easy to get caught up in the moment, especially when it feels good to you. But knowing whether your partner is having a good time, too, is just as important. Plus, a simple “does that feel good?” or “do you like that?” can be sexy as Hell.
You don’t have to ask constantly, but a good rule of thumb is to ask after changing positions or techniques. This ensures you’re both on the same wavelength.
Encourage Your Partner
It feels nice to be encouraged, especially when you’re going to town on your partner. So feel free to sprinkle words of encouragement throughout the session to keep your partner going strong. Just a few examples include:
- Yes, right there
- Just like that, baby
- Mmm, your dick is filling me up / your pussy feels so tight
- Don’t stop!
- Keep going, babe!
Tell Your Partner Your Fantasies
Fantasies are a fun part of any foreplay routine, but have you ever used them beyond foreplay? Telling your partner your fantasies during sex can be a huge turnon, and it may even give them some ideas.
Your fantasies can be as tame or as out there are you’d like. After all, fantasies are our hidden desires that we often hide due to taboo or shame. Being comfortable with your partner means you can share the entirety of your fantasies with them and they’ll feel comfortable to do the same!
As far as tame fantasies go, tell your partner what you want them to do when they cum (“cum deep inside me,” “cum on my face”) or that you want them to pull your hair and call you naughty. For more taboo fantasies, ease into it with a phrase like, “you know what I’d like to try?’ or “I feel so naughty, but…”.
Remind Your Partner of Previous Experiences
While sex with casual partners can be fun, one benefit of a regular sexual partner is the ability to reminisce on old sexual experiences together. Use that to your advantage.
Whether it was an afternoon romp in the bedroom, a quickie in the shower, or even a moonlit roll in a field, you probably have a lot of occasions to reminisce about. Maybe your partner did a move that reminded you of a previous escapade. Say “wow, that reminded me of when we…”. Or perhaps you just want to get your partner’s creativity flowing, you can say “remember when we…” or “wouldn’t it be fun if we did (sexual thing) like we did that one time…”?
How to Encourage Your Partner to Talk Dirty
You’ve gotten the dirty talk down, but your partner hasn’t joined in on the fun. While they may enjoy your dirty talk, they haven’t tried their hand at it. So how can you get them to join in?
The first and most important step is letting them know that you’d like them to participate. If your partner hasn’t joined in, it’s very likely they didn’t realize you wanted them to.
Of course, even then your partner may have some apprehension. So the second step then is to encourage them. Let them know you won’t judge them and that you’d appreciate the effort. You could even use your new dirty talking skills to get them into it. For example, “do you know what would really turn me on? If you told me what you wanted to do to me.”
Talking dirty, whether before or during sex, doesn’t have to be complicated. While it can seem daunting at first, starting out with a few basic phrases and sex acts can get you into the right mindset. As you see your partner respond, you’ll soon get better ideas for just what to say.