Have you or your partner struggled to orgasm during intercourse? You’re not alone. About 75 percent of all women never orgasm from intercourse alone. But what if I told you that intercourse isn’t the only way to experience vaginal orgasm?
Vaginal orgasms are powerful climaxes that every women should get the joy of experiencing on a regular basis. Even if penetration doesn’t do it for you, I’m here to show you that vaginal orgasms are possible.
So if you or your partner are ready for a mindblowing orgasm, read on!
What is a Vaginal Orgasm?
In simplest terms, a vaginal orgasm is an orgasm that originates from the vagina. This differs from other types of orgasms, like clitoral orgasms or anal orgasms.
The 3 Types of Vaginal Orgasms
While the vaginal orgasm is often discussed as a monolith, there are actually three different types of vaginal orgasms.
Often overlooked as a myth, the g-spot is a spot within the vagina that can bring immense pleasure.
But what is the g-spot?
The g-spot is actually the internal extension of the clitoris. That’s right, the small little nub at the top of the vulva is just the tip of the iceberg! When stimulated internally, it can cause intense orgasms and, for some women, it’ll even make them squirt.
To find the g-spot, insert your fingertip one to two inches into the vagina. Curl your finger and feel around until you feel a spongy texture. That’s the g-spot.
The a-spot, or the anterior fornix erogenous zone, is an extension of the cervix into the vaginal wall. It’s often referred to as a pocket of pleasure, and for good reason!
The a-spot can be found on the upper wall of the vagina, about 5 to 6 inches in. It may not have a distinct feel like the g-spot does. To tell you’ve hit the a-spot, begin pressing upward at about 5 inches in. Once you begin to feel pressure, you’ll know you’re in the right spot.
The easiest way to stimulate the a-spot is with a dildo. If you’re having trouble doing it yourself, you can also ask a partner for help, either with a dildo, a penis, or their finger.
Last, but certainly not least, is the cervical orgasm. And as you can probably guess, that comes from direct cervical stimulation.
The cervix is the opening to the uterus. It’s located all the way in the back of the vaginal cavity and is easily found as it feels like a spongy protrusion. The position of the cervix does change throughout your cycle, so it can be higher on some days and lower on others.
For some women, cervical stimulation is painful or uncomfortable. For others, it’s a new dimension of pleasure. If you’ve never experienced it before, definitely start slow and try it a few times to see if your feelings about it change.
How to Give Her a Vaginal Orgasm: 6 Tips
Whether you’re aiming for the g-spot, the a-spot, or the cervix, the tips below will help you to give yourself or your partner a vaginal orgasm.
1. Get Her Fully Aroused
The first step to any kind of orgasm, vaginal or otherwise, is to get your partner fully aroused.
During arousal, the female genitals fill with blood and engorge. This increases their sensitivity as well as makes them larger and more prominent. As you can imagine, this makes their stimulation easier and more pleasurable.
So if you want the chance of giving her a vaginal orgasm, then spend lots of time on foreplay and arousal.
This looks different for every woman and every couple. Ask her what she likes and what turns her on. If you’re both in need of ideas, here are a few to get you started:
- Have a makeout session
- Talk about your fantasies
- Tell her what you want to do to her
- Read lit erotica together
- Be a tease
- Nibble, lick, and kiss her erogenous zones
- Use your fingertips to trace her curves
You can also start foreplay hours (or even days) before your lovemaking. Send dirty text messages, take naughty photos, give lingering kisses, and talk about the fun you’ll have.
2. Use a Combination Approach
Even if the end goal is an orgasm via the vagina, you can still add in other stimulation techniques to get her more fully aroused and ready for climax.
Aside from the vaginal orgasm types mentioned above, there are other types of female orgasms. These include clitoral, anal, and nipple. By stimulating one or more of these areas, you can get her closer to vaginal orgasm or even encourage a combination type orgasm (vaginal plus other type of orgasm at the same time).
Perhaps the easiest area to stimulate during vaginal sex or stimulation is the clitoris. The clitoris is a sensitive, extraneous piece of flesh found at the top of the vulva. It’s often covered by a hood, though when aroused the clitoris will become more fully apparent.
You can stimulate the clit with direct touch using your fingers, tongue, or even a sex toy.
As the most sensitive part of the female body, the key here is to prolong her pleasure with intermittent clitoral stimulation. For example, tapping her clitoris in an inconsistent pattern or rubbing it slowly. An intense or consistent pattern may bring her to clitoral orgasm before she’s ready for vaginal, so it’s best to keep it light and casual.
If you find clitoral stimulation is too difficult while stimulating other areas, there are also sex toys specifically for the clit. These include vibrators and suction toys. The great thing about these is they often have varying levels of intensity and stimulation patterns so it’ll have the same effect as if you were stimulating her on your own.
3. Practice Different Positions
The different types of vaginal orgasm require different types and depths of penetration. You and your partner should have fun while practicing different sex positions.
There are a few positions that will hit one or more of the spots we’re targeting, but there are some that are ideal for one type (e.g. g-spot) over another (e.g. cervical).
Sex Positions for G-Spot
The best sex positions for g-spot stimulation are those that place your penis at a natural angle. These include positions that give your partner control over her own position, like the cowgirl and the reverse cowgirl.
If your girl wants you to be in control, then another position option is the pushup. This is a spicier version of missionary which hits the g-spot and also gives her access to her clit.
Sex Positions for A-Spot
Similar to the g-spot positions, the a-spot positions put the penis at an advantageous angle. While you can attempt to hit the a-spot with the g-spot positions above, the a-spot is slightly higher and deeper. This requires different positions like the elephant, the amazon, and the criss-cross.
Sex Positions for Cervical
The g-spot and a-spot positions mentioned above focus on the angle of penis. Cervical positions, however, focus more on penile depth as the cervix is at the very back of the vaginal cavity.
The best positions for depth are the classic doggy style and the bicycle. These shorten the vaginal cavity while giving the male partner the ability to reach his greatest depths.
There are dozens of sex positions to try, so have fun experimenting!
4. Encourage Her to Practice Alone
If your partner has never experienced a vaginal orgasm, then it may take a few tries to get her there. In the meantime, you can encourage her to practice by herself.
Female masturbation typically involves clitoral stimulation, as it’s often the easiest way to climax. So if that’s how she usually climaxes, she may be unfamiliar with her vagina and the types of orgasms it can have.
Ask her to spend some time exploring her vagina with particular attention to the g-spot and the a-spot.
To Find the G-Spot
Insert the index finger one or two inches into the vagina. Curl the finger and begin to feel around for a fleshier area of tissue. Once you feel a walnut-sized spongy mound of tissue, that’s the g-spot.
To Find the A-Spot
Once you’ve found the g-spot, you’ll need to move up just a little further to find the a-spot. From the g-spot, move up another one or two inches. When you begin to feel increasing pressure, that’s the a-spot.
Your partner can play around with both the g-spot and the a-spot to see what she likes. It will also get her used to the different sensations so she can recognize them more easily during vaginal penetration.
If she says she’s having trouble stimulating these areas, you can also encourage her to use a dildo to more easily target these spots. The a-spot, in particular, may be just out of reach of her fingers, so a dildo is a good choice.
5. Use Lots of Lube
While arousal will help to naturally lubricate your partner, there’s no such thing as too much lubricant. So be sure to apply lots of lube at the beginning, and don’t be afraid to stop to apply more during sex.
Lubricant reduces friction by providing a barrier between you and your partner. This can ensure greater pleasure when the engorged areas, like the g-spot and the a-spot, are stimulated.
There are plenty of different lubricants to choose from. The most popular are water-based lubricants which are safe to use with latex condoms and silicone sex toys. Other types include oil-based, silicone-based, and combination. However, each type of lubricant has its own best uses and potential risks so research them carefully.
6. Keep Communication Open
When it comes to sex and intimacy, there is nothing more important between two partners than clear and consistent communication. This is especially true if you’re working towards a new goal, like giving your partner a vaginal orgasm for the first time.
Communication looks different for every couple.
In its most direct form, spoken word communication is important before, during, and after sexual encounters. This includes asking direct questions like “what do you want me to do to you?” and “do you like when I do that?”
You should also focus on nonverbal communication, like body language and facial expressions. Is your partner pulling away or moving closer to you? Is she showing signs of discomfort or pleasure? Does her body feel tense or relaxed?
The more communicative you are, the more communicative your partner will feel she can be. That’s a win for everyone.
What If She Can’t Have a Vaginal Orgasm?
It’s true that some women can’t orgasm from penetration alone. For some, it requires more focus on a specific area (like the g-spot or a-spot). For others, it’s just not possible. So then what?
The good news is that vaginal orgasms aren’t the only type of orgasm that women can experience. Clitoral orgasms, anal orgasms, and nipple orgasms are just three types of orgasms that you can focus on instead.
While you should work with your partner to ensure she’s satisfied during partnered time, it’s important to also encourage her to explore herself on her own. Encourage her to spend time with herself and even invest in fun new toys to get her started. This can lead to a more relaxed, fulfilled sex life for both of you.
When it comes to giving or getting a vaginal orgasm, sometimes you have to think outside the box. Penile penetration isn’t the only way to experience one. In fact, most women will never experience one that way.
But luckily, with the tips outlined above, it’s possible to achieve one (or more) of the three types of vaginal orgasms even if you or your partner have never experienced one before.