How To Get More Blowjobs: 8 Effective Tips Every Man Needs To Know

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How To Get More Blowjobs: 8 Effective Tips Every Man Needs To Know

Marco receives oral from Ivy in a 69 position while she grips his thigh, illustrating intimacy & how to get more blowjobs naturally.
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How to get more blowjobs comes down to one thing—making her want it as much as you do. Right now, only 28% of women say they genuinely enjoy giving head, which explains why your BJ drought feels biblical.

But you’re not doomed. Keep reading to shift the vibe, build the connection, and you’ll be shocked how fast her enthusiasm turns on.

In this article, we'll cover:

  • Learn tips on how to get more blowjobs without begging or bribing.
  • Trigger her obsession with your cock using 6 expert-level secrets she’ll never see coming
  • Avoid 5 hidden turn-offs that secretly kill her desire to suck you (and what to do instead)

How To Get More Blowjobs?

Ivy teases Marco on a lifeguard chair at the beach, using playful seduction to show how to get more blowjobs without pressure.

If you want more blowjobs, you earn them through desire, safety, and leadership. Women don’t respond to pressure, guilt, or begging. They respond to a man who makes them feel relaxed, desired, and appreciated. So, stop Googling how to get more blowjobs from wife. Below are 10 practical tips to naturally inspire her to go down on you more often.

Tip #1 – Let Her Know How Much You Appreciate Her

Most guys treat a blowjob like a prize. That’s why they stop getting any. Act like she owes you head? Say goodbye to it. Act like she’s a sex goddess who just rocked your soul? She’ll want to do it again.

Do This

  • Praise her like a pornstar who just changed your religion
  • Moan, twitch, lose control—let her see her power
  • Pull her up and kiss her like she just blew your mind (because she did).

Tip #2 – Value Your Manhood: If You Don’t, Why Should She?

Want to know how to get your wife to give more blowjobs? Start treating your dick like it’s the VIP section.

Do This

  • Undress like you’re the show, not the shy intern changing for gym class
  • Hold eye contact while she’s down there—own that shit
  • Say, “I love when you touch me there,” like a horny compliment—not a cry for help

Tip #3 – Have Open Conversations About BJs

Many women may not feel comfortable discussing their feelings about oral sex, which can lead to misunderstandings in the relationship. If you want more blow jobs, open your damn mouth—outside the bedroom.

Do This

  • Bring it up casually when you're both relaxed (not mid-sex or mid-argument)
  • Ask how she feels about giving oral—not just “do you like it?”
  • Share why it turns you on emotionally, not just physically

Tip #4 – Let Her Take Control, But Guide Her With Your Words

Wanna kill the mood fast? Shove her head down like you’re spotting squats at the gym. Don’t be that guy. Most women don’t want a boss—they want a confident, sexy guide. So let her lead the pace...but narrate like it’s the hottest play-by-play ever.

Do This

  • Keep your hands off her head unless she asks you to take over
  • Use low, dirty encouragement (“God, your mouth feels insane…” or “Just like that… fuck”)
  • React with moans, heavy breathing, or gasps—let her feel your pleasure

Tip #5 – Let Her Know When You’re About To Cum (3, 2, 1 Heads Up)

Whatever you do, don’t surprise her with a mouthful of cum with zero warning—unless she’s explicitly said she loves surprise shots (rare!).

Do This

  • Say “Fuck, I’m gonna cum—3, 2, 1…” so she has a few seconds to choose
  • Let her decide: stay on, switch to hand, or dodge the blast
  • Ask outside the bedroom what she actually prefers (don’t guess)

Tip #6 – Follow The Cock Obsession Formula: Depth, Detail & Dirty

Time to amp up the excitement. If you want her begging to suck you off, you’ve got to make the experience as hot for her as it is for you. Enter my Cock Obsession Formula: Depth, Detail, and Dirty.

Here’s How It Works

  • Depth – Build up gradually to deeper throat action (if she’s comfortable) because a lot of women find it super erotic to push limits a bit. Don’t just ram it in—encourage her over time, maybe taking an extra inch as she gets aroused. The psychological thrill of going a bit “deeper” can be a turn-on (it’s taboo, it’s intense).
  • Detail – Pay attention to the little details that drive her pleasure. Maybe she loves feeling your hardness pulse in her mouth, or the way you groan when she swirls her tongue. Point out those details: “Oh god, the way your tongue is flicking my tip is insane.” Also, use your hands to caress her––stroke her hair, touch her cheek, or even stimulate other erogenous zones (more on that soon). These details make it a more immersive experience for her, not just a chore.
  • Dirty – Don’t be shy to add a little dirty talk and eroticism to the act. Whisper how sexy she looks with your cock between her lips. Tell her in a low growl, “You’re such a good girl for me… you love how my cock fills your mouth, don’t you?” Most women have a bit of a kinky side, and if she senses you’re really turned on and in the moment, it can ignite hers.

Tip #7 – Anchor Her Arousal To Your Cock Using Ritual Praise

This one’s a bit of a Jedi mind trick (the good kind). You want to condition her to feel turned on and proud when she pleasures you. How? By creating a ritual of praise and positive emotion around your cock. Essentially, every time she interacts with your manhood—be it a blowjob or even just teasing—lavish her with heartfelt praise and show massive enjoyment. Think of it like Pavlov’s dog, but sexier.

Situations & Examples You Can Follow

  • Every single time after she makes you cum (via BJ or otherwise), you cuddle her, kiss her deeply, and tell her something like “That was incredible, you make me feel so amazing, I’m so lucky to have you.” Make these after-BJ moments intimate and positive for her.
  • Establish a cute/fun “ritual”: maybe you always gently pull her up after and say, “C’mere,” and then give her a long, passionate kiss (letting her know you don’t mind tasting yourself, which can oddly be affirming for her). The idea is to reinforce that her giving you oral leads to her getting affection, love, and a happy, satisfied partner.
  • During the act, use encouraging trigger phrases, like when she does something right, say “Oh yes, just like that—good girl” (if she’s okay with that phrase; many women find it hot as praise in a sub/dom playful way). Over time, these words can become an anchor that turns her on because she associates them with pleasing you and feeling sexy.

Tip #8 – Have After-BJ Chats—Don’t Just Roll Over

So you just had an awesome finish, she swallowed (or not, whatevs), and you’re feeling like a king. The worst thing you can do now is roll over, zip up, and act like it was nothing.

Do This

  • Pull her up into your arms, kiss her, and thank her sincerely. Engaging in a post-sex debrief improves future sexual experiences.
  • If she seems open to it, even talk a bit: Ask her “How was that for you?” or “Did you like when I did [X] with your hair while you were blowing me?”
  • Don’t shy away from complimenting specific things right after: “I can’t get over how sexy you looked with my cock in your mouth,” or “You do that thing with your tongue better than anyone on earth, I swear.”

Make blow jobs an all-around awesome experience for her, and when that clicks, my friend, you won’t have to wonder “how to get more blowjobs” anymore…you’ll be too busy enjoying them.

Now, ready to take things to an even higher level? I’m about to share some expert moves—the kind of advanced techniques and secrets that will make her downright addicted to your cock.

Andrew’s Expert Secrets To Make Her Addicted To Your Cock...And Give You More Blow Jobs

So you’ve got the groundwork handled: she feels respected, you’re communicating, the hygiene’s on point, and she’s not being pressured. Great! Now let’s talk expert-level techniques. These are the little-known secrets that guys who get their dick worshipped on the regular tend to know.

Secret #1 – Tip-Tip-Boom Technique

Ivy teases the head of Marco’s cock with her lips while holding his shaft, demonstrating how to get more blowjobs through anticipation.

If she’s just bobbing like a metronome, bro, you’re both missing out. The Tip-Tip-Boom Technique turns her blowjob into a tease-and-devour masterpiece—and gets her way more into it.

  • Start with just the tip: Encourage her to focus on the head only—gentle licks, soft sucks, slow circles around the tip with her tongue. This is the “tip-tip” part. Tease city.
  • Let her build anticipation: Don’t rush it. Let her keep teasing while you moan, twitch, and lose your mind a little. She’ll feel how badly you want more.
  • Then… boom! When she’s ready, she suddenly takes more of you in. Deeper. Hotter. Harder. The contrast hits like a lightning bolt of pleasure.

Why This Works?

The Tip-Tip-Boom Technique works because it activates dual pleasure pathways—the tip (glans) lights up from fine-tuned teasing, while the deeper stroke hits your stretch and pressure receptors.

That contrast creates a spike in arousal, almost like edging without needing a break. For her, it’s a psychological turn-on: your gasps and body jolts give instant feedback that she’s driving you wild. That rush of control boosts her own arousal thanks to mirror neurons and dopamine release.

Secret #2 – Unlock Her Brain Before Her Throat

Marco gently holds Ivy’s face while she smiles in lingerie, showing emotional connection as a key to how to get more blowjobs.

If you skip her brain and go straight for the blowjob, you're playing checkers when you should be playing chess. Turn her on mentally first—and suddenly, her mouth isn’t just willing… it’s eager.

  • Plant the thought early: Send a text like: “Been thinking about your mouth on me all day… can’t focus.” It sparks arousal before you even get home.
  • Whisper a fantasy: While making out, tell her what you love about her giving head: “I keep picturing you on your knees for me… it drives me crazy.”
  • Frame her as powerful: Make it about how hot and irresistible she is—not what you want. Let her feel like the fantasy, not just the favor-doer.

Why This Works?

When a woman’s mentally aroused, her parasympathetic nervous system kicks in—slowing her heart rate, relaxing her jaw and throat, and increasing saliva production. That means fewer gags, more glide, and a hell of a better time for both of you.

Plus, being seen as desired and in control amps up her dopamine and sexual confidence, making her want to do it, not feel like she has to. Seduce her brain first… and her throat will follow.

Secret #3 – Grab Her Hair & Lock Eyes With Her

If you’ve never stared down a woman mid-blowjob while your hand’s in her hair… you’re leaving orgasms on the table. This move taps into something primal: dominance, devotion, and eye-fucking intensity.

  • Grip the base of her hair: Not yanking, not limp. Just a confident, “You’re mine” kind of hold. Right at the nape of her neck.
  • Let her move—but guide the rhythm: It’s not about controlling her. It’s about holding the moment steady, giving her a rhythm to work with.
  • Lock eyes during the hottest parts: When she takes you deeper… look at her. Let your face show the pleasure. That turns her on more than you know.
Ivy kneels nude and sucks Marco’s cock while he grabs her hair, showing eye contact & dominance in how to get more blowjobs.

Why This Works?

The scalp is packed with nerve endings—a light tug releases endorphins. Add in the eye contact, and you trigger deep emotional bonding, erotic tension, and submission arousal in her. It’s not just porn hot—it’s connection-hot. And women crave that mix of raw power and real presence. Do this right, and she won’t just give head—she’ll remember giving you head.

Secret #4 – Give Her A Slow, Sexy Head Massage

Marco gives Ivy a slow, sensual head massage to build trust, arousal, and connection—key to how to get more blowjobs naturally.

Truth, bro: she gives better head when she feels like a person, not a prop. This tiny move fixes the communication gap fast and leaves her actually satisfied. Good thing it’s easy.

  • Stroke her scalp with slow circles, light tugs—she melts instantly.
  • Hit the base of her skull—kills tension, her moans tell the story.
  • Cradle her head while she’s going down—temples, jaw, behind the ears—especially if you’re trimmed clean and tasting sweeter from the pineapple.

Why This Works?

Scalp stimulation triggers the parasympathetic nervous system—relaxation mode. That means less jaw tension, deeper throat relaxation, and yes, a happier gag reflex. You’re not just getting a blowjob—you’re creating a full-body sensual experience for both of you.

Secret #5 – Tease Your Cock Inside Her Mouth

Marco teases Ivy by slowly sliding his cock in and out of her mouth, showing playful control in how to get more blowjobs.

Blowjobs hit way harder when there’s suspense. Not speed—tease. That slow, evil edge that makes your whole body walk the line between control and collapse.

  • Ease back when you’re close—just your tip on her lips or tongue—no thrusting, just aching for it.
  • Let her lick and tease the tip—light swirls, soft holds—your nervous system goes feral.
  • Say something that makes her smirk—“Fuck… you’re making it hard not to cum”—she’ll love having you wrecked.

Why This Works?

Teasing spikes dopamine and sexual frustration—which are two sides of the same horny coin. For you, it amplifies the final orgasm by building massive pressure.

For her, it’s playful domination—watching you squirm because of her mouth is a huge turn-on. It turns a standard BJ into a mindfuck—which is exactly what keeps her coming back for more.

Secret #6 – Finger Her Or Eat Her While She’s Sucking You

Marco and Ivy 69 each other with passion, showing mutual pleasure and how to get more blowjobs by giving her intense stimulation.

You want her to love giving you head? Then make her cum while doing it. That’s not just mutual pleasure—it’s erotic reprogramming.

  • Option A: Go Full 69
    Classic for a reason. While she’s sucking you, go down on her. If you hit her clit just right, she might orgasm while giving you head—which rewires her brain to crave the act. Try side-69 or her on top if it’s easier to breathe.
  • Option B: Use Your Fingers
    Can’t 69? No problem. Slide your hand down and start stroking her clit or slipping fingers inside. Sync your rhythm with her bobbing. If she moans or starts grinding? You’re doing it right. Bonus: those moans vibrate on your cock.
  • Option C: Bring A Toy
    Vibrator on her clit while she’s blowing you? Bro, game over. She can hold it or you can—either way, you’re making her cum while she’s got your dick in her mouth. That’s elite-level boyfriend energy.

Why This Works?

Most women need direct stimulation to get aroused or climax—it’s not just about “feeling sexy.” By pleasuring her during the BJ, you shift it from “her servicing you” to “you both getting off.” And when her body learns that blowjobs = orgasms? That shit becomes addictive. One study even found women enjoy giving oral more when it’s mutual (shocker, right?).

Notice the common thread: making it more enjoyable and exciting for her, not just you. She’ll likely start offering or initiating because now it’s fun and hot for her, not a favor. And that, my friend, is a glorious place to be.

Alright, we’ve heard a lot from me (the guy’s perspective). To truly round this out, let’s switch gears. It’s time to hear from the ladies. Consider this the don’t do this list

A Woman's Perspective.. 

On Why She Doesn’t Want To Go Down On You (Blowjob Turn Offs)

from Isabel
SEXUALITY COACH
Isabel, certified sexologist at SQL and SOS, shares a woman’s perspective on blowjob turn offs and how to get more blowjobs.

So if your wife or girlfriend isn’t exactly enthusiastic about oral, one or more of these reasons could be why. Pay attention, because these are the mood-killers that make us think “ugh, no thanks” when it comes to blowjobs.

Turn Off #1 – Begging For It Like A Desperate Teenager

Begging kills the mood fast. If you’re whining in bed for a blowjob, she’s not turned on—she’s annoyed. Men do this when they don’t know how to get more blowjobs without sounding needy.

Solution

  • Lead with confidence, not begging—your energy should say desire, not worry.
  • Use foreplay to build heat: kiss her neck, touch her thighs, forget the outcome.
  • Say it sexy, not desperate: “Mmm… I keep thinking about your mouth on me.”

Turn Off #2 – Pressuring Her Or Guilt-Tripping Her

Pressure makes her shut down instantly. A lot of men struggle to express what they want, so they sulk or guilt-trip instead. Many women feel pressured to prioritize their partner's sexual needs over their own, which can lead to feelings of shame about their own desires.

Solution

  • Make it clear she can say no anytime—zero pressure, full respect.
  • Focus on her pleasure instead: go down on her with no strings attached.
  • Build emotional comfort outside the bedroom—quality time makes her open up.

Turn Off #3 – Making It Feel Transactional

Nothing ruins the moment faster than acting like oral is a trade deal—“I did you, now you do me.” That turns sex into accounting, not intimacy, especially if she’s had past experiences with men who treated her body like currency.

Solution

  • Give because you want to—not because you think she owes you.
  • Invite, don’t demand: “I’d love your mouth on me sometime…”
  • Build desire organically—touch her, tease her, guide her hand to your cock.

Turn Off #4 – Not Taking Care Of Hygiene Or Smell

Hygiene matters more than any “advice” you’ve heard. If your underwear, ass, or pubic hair smells funky, she won’t even think about sucking you off. Women remember bad taste and smell from the past—it sticks.

Solution

  • Shower daily and clean everything—balls, shaft, ass, under the foreskin.
  • Trim your pubic hair with an electric trimmer—it looks better and traps less odor.
  • Eat pineapple and stay fresh. Eating pineapple can improve the taste of semen, making oral sex more enjoyable for partners.

Turn Off #5 – Expecting It Instead Of Turning Her On

Entitlement kills desire. Acting like you’re owed a blowjob makes her feel like she’s failing you. Many women feel pressured to put your needs over theirs, while many men never express their desires clearly—so both sides feel stuck.

Solution

  • Turn her on first with deep foreplay and filthy whispers in her ear.
  • Say something that ignites her fantasy: “Fuck… I can’t stop thinking about your lips wrapped around me.”
  • Accept “no” like a king—kiss her neck, move on. Confidence turns her on more than begging ever will.

Phew, that was a lot, but it needed to be said. Look, we want to enjoy all parts of sex, including blowjobs. When we don’t, it’s usually because one of these mood-killers is in play. The great news is, you, as the guy, have a lot of power to change that dynamic.

So next up, I’m going to answer some of the most common questions guys ask about how to get more blowjobs from your wife.

Frequently Asked Questions

Let’s dive into your burning questions (and hopefully get you some burning nights in a good way).

How often do most wives actually give blowjobs in long-term relationships?

Research shows the frequency of oral sex drops in long-term relationships, but it doesn’t disappear. Most married couples report giving or receiving oral sex a few times a month, not all the time. What matters more than averages is whether you and your partner are happy with your sex life.

Is it normal to want more oral sex than my partner does?

Yes—it’s totally normal to want to receive oral sex more often than your partner wants to give it. People have different libidos, preferences, and energy levels. The key is realizing that mismatches don’t mean your sex life is broken—they just mean you need to talk.

What if my wife used to love giving BJs but now avoids them?

If she used to enjoy it and now avoids giving blowjobs, something has shifted—and that’s worth exploring. It could be physical (hormones, discomfort), emotional (resentment, feeling unseen), or even mental (performance anxiety, boredom). Begin the convo gently, without blame. Ask her what’s changed. You can’t fix what you don’t realize is happening.

Can talking about porn habits affect how often she gives blow jobs?

Absolutely. If your partner feels your porn habits affect how you treat her—or if you’re watching videos that make her feel insecure or objectified—it can impact her desire to give oral. Be transparent. The goal isn’t to stop porn cold, but to make sure it’s not replacing real connection in your sex life.

How do I know if I’ve made her feel pressured in giving more blow jobs without realizing it?

If she avoids receiving or giving oral, rarely initiates, or seems emotionally distant during sex, there’s a good chance she’s felt pressured, even if you didn’t mean to. Subtle patterns like asking all the time or making passive comments can quietly erode desire. Pressure kills passion. Talk to her. Listen without defending yourself. Let her rest in knowing she’s safe saying “no.”

Ready to take your skills to the next level? Join our exclusive online course “Squirting Triggers” and gain in-depth knowledge with expert guidance, easy-to-follow step-by-step explanations, live demonstrations, and two female perspectives. Don’t just read about it – master it! Enroll today and start transforming your life. Get started Now!

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Andrew Mioch

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Andrew Mioch is a certified sexologist and one of the world’s leading sex coaches and best-selling author after spending 10 years learning from experts all over the world.

Andrew has personally coached over 5,000 men. His expertise is regularly sought in publications such as Men's Health, Medium, and Cosmopolitan Magazine.

These days, Andrew spends most of his time coaching clients privately and also through SQL’s online Mastery Academy.

Disclosure: Our content is reader-supported. This means if you click on some of our links, then we may earn a commission. We only recommend products that we believe will add value to our readers.

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