The female orgasm is one of the world’s greatest mysteries. So if you’re wondering whether your partner has climaxed or if they’re faking it, you’re not alone.
So how can you know if your woman has climaxed? Are there telltale signs you can use to distinguish real ones from fake ones?
The good news is that most women do show signs of climax. So if you’re wanting to know if your partner is experiencing the real deal, then read on.
Signs A Woman Has Climaxed
How can you know for sure a woman has climaxed? Just ask her! But if you’d rather know beyond a doubt that your woman has climaxed, here are three telltale signs which are part of the sexual response cycle.
1. Body Tremors or Contractions
Perhaps the most unmistakable sign of female orgasm is body tremors or contractions.
The vagina and pelvic muscles, of course, are the main source of contractions. As she orgasms, you may also notice contractions throughout the body. Some women experience leg tremors in their upper thighs, while others may experience them in their arms or stomach.
2. Deep, Rapid Breathing
Leading up to and during orgasm, a woman’s breathing pattern changes. Initially, her breathing may seem fast and shallow, almost as if she’s struggling to catch her breath. As she gets closer to orgasm, though, the breaths will become deeper and more even. The breathing will still be rapid compared to her usual breathing pattern, but not so erratic as building up to orgasm.
3. Facial or Body Flush
Sexual arousal increases blood flow throughout the body. The main target is the genitalia, but other areas of the body will receive this increased blood flow as well. Particularly, the face, breasts, and stomach.
What does this look like? The flushed areas will be red and warmer to the touch than usual. It can happen during the initial stages of arousal, though it will usually deepen during and after orgasm.
How Can I Encourage Her to Orgasm?
If your partner hasn’t shown the signs of an orgasm, then you may be wondering, how can I actually get here there? You might expect to read about surefire techniques for bringing her to climax, or moves you can use in the bedroom.
However, this next section will actually focus on ensuring you and your partner are set up for success. You can use any sex positions and techniques you both enjoy after you’ve used the tips below.
Get Her Fully Aroused
You know you can’t jump right into penetrative sex without any form of foreplay. But just how aroused is aroused and what’s good enough?
I like to say that when it comes to arousal, nothing short of fully aroused is good enough.
So what does full arousal look like?
I like to use the three indicators below:
- Vasocongestion, or blood flow to the genitals.
- Myotonia, or muscle tension.
- Activation of the hypothalamus, or release of oxytocin.
When a woman is fully aroused prior to penetration, she’s more likely to reach orgasm. So before sex, you should notice that 1) her genitals look and feel engorged, 2) the muscles throughout her body feel tense, and 3) she’s showing signs of oxytocin release such as deeper kisses or long, deep gazes.
Is it possible for her to hit one or two of these milestones prior to sex and then experience the others during? Sure. But it’s better to get her fully aroused so she doesn’t feel unprepared or under pressure.
Use High-Quality Lubricant
There’s sometimes a shame associated with using lubricants during sex. It’s almost as if there’s a belief that “only if I could get her wet enough, we won’t need to use any lube.”
The truth is, though, that a woman’s self-lubricant isn’t always enough. And that’s okay. The amount of self-lubricant produced will vary for many reasons, whether its hydration levels, time of the month, stress levels, etc.
So a good option then is a high-quality lubricant.
Lubricant will, well, lubricate the vulva and vagina. This will make penetration and touch more pleasurable.
But what do I mean by high-quality?
For penetrative sex, especially when latex condoms are involved, a water-based lubricant is the best option. This will provide enough lubrication for most people (i.e. it won’t need to be reapplied frequently, if at all) and it won’t break down latex condoms. It’s also gentle and unlikely to cause infections or irritation.
Apply lubricant before penetration and at any point that you or her begin to feel uncomfortable friction.
If you need a list of physical signs that your partner has climaxed, then there’s a larger issue at play – communication.
Communication is an essential piece of intimacy. Without it, you can’t connect on a deeper level. And some women require that deeper level of connection to climax.
Fortunately, healthy communication can be learned.
There are two types of communication, verbal and non-verbal.
Verbal communication is when you vocalize your wants and needs with words or vocalizations of approval such as grunts, moans, and sighs. Non-verbal communication is body language that’s present during intimacy. This includes moving closer to your partner, using your hands to guide them, and just generally opening up yourself physically to them.
If you’re with a new partner, then clear communication of wants, needs, and boundaries should go both ways. Before you start, tell your partner explicitly what you want and encourage them to do the same. Keep the lines of communication open at every stage of the experience so they feel comfortable sharing whatever they need at any time.
While honest and open communication is crucial to a healthy relationship, it can be difficult to establish at the start. In the meantime, if you’re worried that your partner isn’t reaching climax, you can use the signs above to know for sure.
If she’s not showing signs of orgasm? There are ways to encourage her to orgasm. These include:
- Getting her fully aroused
- Using high-quality lubricant
- Communicating clearly
When you create a healthy, safe space for you and your partner, you can be sure that orgasm is not too far off.