Sexual Bedroom: How to Create the Perfect Space for Great Sex

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Sexual Bedroom: How to Create the Perfect Space for Great Sex

When is the last time you took an objective look at your bedroom? I mean, really looked at it. Like the way a new partner might when first getting settled.

Chances are, you never have.

That’s because our bedrooms become our sanctuaries. We become used to the way things are, and perhaps the way things have always been. But we do so without considering the totality of the environment.

Is the room too dark? Is the room too hot or too cold? Is the room unwelcoming or uncomfortable?

Perhaps you’re wondering, why does this even matter?

We know that our home environments can shape our feelings and perceptions. In fact, clutter has been proven to cause (or worsen) feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression.

Just think about the far-reaching implications this can have on all other elements of our lives. Yes, even our sex lives.

The environment – your bedroom – can have a lot of effect on your and your partner’s feelings. This includes feelings of intimacy and connection. And if your partner can’t truly get comfortable, it may even impact their pleasure.

So yes, the environment matters. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to create a more sensual, relaxing place for you and your partner.

19 Ideas & Tips for Creating a Sexual Bedroom

If you’re ready to create a “sexual bedroom,” or really, just a bedroom that’s more comfortable and welcoming to your sexual partners, then consider the 19 tips below.

1. Make Your Bedroom a Sacred Space

The bedroom should be reserved for two things: sleep, and sex.

With those two activities in mind, there are a few things you can do to make the bedroom a more intentional, sacred space.

  • Remove all distractions (television, video game consoles, computers)
  • Secure the door if interruptions are a concern
  • Add blackout curtains for privacy and better sleep
  • Use white noise machines (or a good quality fan) to drown out the outside world
  • Make the bed the center of the room
  • Keep essentials (e.g. chapstick, water, lube, etc.) on hand and easily accessible

This is a good tip for anyone, whether they’re looking to make their bedroom a comfortable place for sex or just for sleep.

2. Elevate with Good Lighting

What’s the lighting situation in your bedroom? An overhead light with a fluorescent bulb? Standing lights throughout with standard white bulbs?

Whatever the situation may be, there’s always a way to elevate it.

First, get some smart bulbs that you can control with your smartphone. This enables you to control the color and brightness.

Next, install dimmers if possible. Dimmable lights, whether standalone or on a dimmer switch, can add an additional layer of sophistication.

Soft, mellow lighting, especially with a yellow tinge, creates a warm and inviting environment. This is much more so than white lightning which can be harsh, even when dimmed.

3. Invest in Soft, High-Quality Sheets

High-quality sheets can make a huge difference in your sexual encounters.

During sex, every sensation is heightened. You don’t want to put in all of that work just for your partner to feel the scratchy, low-quality sheets under her at every move.

If you’re going the cotton route, you must get a minimum of at least 600 thread count. If it’s 600 thread count Egyptian cotton, then even better.

If Egyptian cotton isn’t in the budget, you can settle for satin. While 200-thread count satin is passable, a 400-thread count is an absolute luxury.

And while we’re on the topic of high-quality sheets, avoid white at all costs. You don’t want to be worrying about stains on your expensive new set of sheets. A deep red is a sensual option that will also hide stains quite well.

4. Kick the TV to the Curb

Not everyone uses their bedroom for just two activities, sleeping, and sex. Because of that, TVs and other electronics like computers and video game consoles, are pretty common.

However, if you want to create a sexual environment with minimal distraction, then the TV just gets in the way.

If you’re not quite ready to remove the television from your bedroom, you have a few classy options for hiding the TV while not in use.

  • Use a TV stand or cupboard to store the television while not in use. Ensure it has a door to hide it completely.
  • Hide it in plain sight with a TV picture frame wall mount.
  • Cover any LED lights on the TV with light-dimming or light-eliminating stickers.

5. Good Mattress, Good Sex

Do you have the same mattress you’ve had since you moved out from your parents’ home? Do you wake up in the morning with miscellaneous aches and pains? Do your partners complain about dips, lumps, or wayward springs? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, then it’s time to invest in a new, better mattress.

An objectively good mattress, one with a combination of support and comfort, can make a world of difference during sex. Without the usual dips and lumps that occur over time, you’ll find that you have better leverage and more useable space for your sexual exploits.

Plus, a good mattress will ensure a good night’s rest for you and your partner after a romp. Your partner will leave in the morning well-rested which will only elevate the experience in her mind.

6. Add Soft Scents

Scents can play a critical role in the bedroom. They’re not only there to hide the smell of gym socks and stale ventilation, but to add a sensual aroma to the air.

You can really have fun here pairing scents in your candles, diffusers, or room sprays. A few ideas include:

  • White florals like jasmine or gardenia
  • Herbaceous scents like lavender or chamomile
  • Full-bodied florals like rose or geranium
  • Spices like saffron or thyme
  • Gourmand scents like vanilla or almonds

Do remember that you quickly go nose-blind to smells in your own home. Try not to overdo it as it may be overwhelming to your partner.

7. Incorporate Textures

Silky robes, velvet throw blankets, faux fur rugs… you have a lot of opportunities here to incorporate textures into your space and into your sex life.

Varied textures can be used during foreplay or sex to heighten sexual pleasure. A silk robe gliding across her lower back, a faux fur blanket crumpled in her hand as she moans in pleasure, a velvet throw pillow under her belly for support.

While you don’t want to go overboard, add variety. You can even switch out the textures you use in your bedroom and store the others in your closet.

8. Set the Tone with Music

Music is a universal language. The right tone of music can set the mood quite well. So create a few versions of a “sex playlist” and have it playing in the background.

You don’t want the music to drown out any pillow talk, of course. But even music played at a very low level can elevate the experience in a way you might not have expected. It’s also good for drowning out any background noises (e.g. car horns honking, the television in the next apartment, etc.) and making you feel more comfortable.

9. Mirror, Mirror on the Wall (or Ceiling)

If the 70s got one thing right, it was the use of mirrors to really accentuate the sexuality of a room. While you don’t need floor-to-ceiling mirrors, a mirror or two isn’t a bad idea.

There’s something incredibly erotic about watching yourself have sex. If you haven’t done it before, the idea may be unsettling. But it’s truly something you must experience for yourself.

Mirrors can also give you the sexual energy you need to try something new. Maybe you just want to see what you look like doing said activity. Whatever the reason, your partner will appreciate the adventurousness the mirror elicits.

10. Have a High-Quality Lube at Hand

Lubricant (or lack thereof) can make or break a sexual encounter. Don’t be caught with your pants down (literally). Ensure that you have access to high-quality lube at all times by keeping it stored discreetly in the bedside table.

You have a few options here, but different types of lubes are better for different situations. It’s not a bad idea to have a variety on hand so you’re always prepared.

  • Water-based lubricants are safe for use with latex condoms and the majority of sex toys. It requires frequent reapplication, but it’s a safe, non-sticky option that can be used for all types of sexual encounters.
  • Silicone-based lubricants should not be used with latex or silicone. It’s safe to use with glass, hard plastic, or steel sex toys and it’s a slippery, longer-lasting alternative to water-based lubricants. This is ideal for time-intensive activities like vaginal massage.
  • Oil-based lubricants are the longest-lasting of the bunch. However, they’re incompatible with most condoms and sex toys, and they’re also not ideal for vaginal health. These types of lubes should be reserved for non-genital activities like full-body massage.
  • Hybrid lubricants are any combination of water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based lubricants. Their pros and cons will vary based on what’s outlined above.

In addition to types of lubricants, you can also find lubes with a variety of flavors and smells. These can make oral sex a funner, yummier experience for both of you.

11. Keep Sex Toys Close By

There’s a misguided belief that, if you’re doing it right, you don’t “need” to use sex toys with your partner. The truth is that your partner(s) will thank you for feeling comfortable enough to incorporate them into your sex life.

Sex toys don’t take the place of a good, sensual pounding. They can bring the experience from “good” to “great” or even “great” to “spectacular.”

So what sex toys should you keep on hand?

First and foremost, consider your partners. If you sleep with women, then you can’t go wrong with a vibrator and a dildo. If you sleep with men, a vibrating cock ring is a fun addition. And if you tend to have kinkier partners, regardless of sex, anal beads, butt plugs, and nipple clamps are likely to score you some extra points.

As for discrete storage, just keep them in the bottom drawer of your nightstand. You want easy access at all times.

12. Add Versatile Sex Furniture

Sex furniture can be a worthwhile investment. It is an investment, though, as sturdy sex furniture can set you back a couple hundred dollars.

So how can you incorporate sex furniture into your bedroom without breaking the bank? Think less is more.

Versatile pieces of sex furniture will 1) cost you less overall; and 2) take up less space.

Look at purchasing pieces that convert from one thing to another, or that can be used as everyday pieces (with thorough cleaning after use, of course). Chaise lounges, swinging chairs, and benches are a few examples.

13. Upgrade Your Pillows

You know those flat pillows you still have from freshman year of college? Yeah, they’re not doing anything for your head OR your sex life.

So toss those old pillows with this week’s garbage and pick up a few sets of a firmer, higher-quality variety.

You can’t go wrong with a foam pillow, as these offer a combination of support and comfort. If you really want luxury, though, then down alternative pillows are incredibly soft and comfortable. You can also combine the two with a memory foam and polyester down-alternative blend if you need a bit more support.

The right pillow can also provide support in… other places. A supportive pillow under her lower back or under his knees can make a world of difference. So consider pillows that are 1) firm; 2) easy to clean or cover; and 3) inconspicuous.

14. Everything Has a Place

There’s nothing more distracting than a cluttered, messy room. Avoid the mess by ensuring everything in your room 1) serves a purpose; and 2) has a place of its own.

Picture this: You match with a solid 10 on Tinder who says she’s DTF (“down to fuck” for the uninitiated) tonight. You have to make it home from work, hop in the shower, and clean your room with just a few hours’ notice.

Now let’s say you have a room where everything has a place. It takes you, what, a total of 10 minutes to tidy up? Crisis averted.

An uncluttered room isn’t just good for setting the sexual mood, though. It can be a good boost to your mental health, too!

15. Add Some Personality

Chances are that your sexual partner liked something about your personality. So don’t be afraid to add pieces of who you are throughout your space.

This doesn’t mean you want to have walls lined with action figures or plants from floor to ceiling. Remember that an uncluttered space is still the goal.

But when picking art, or choosing the color of your furniture or bedding, or even styling your shelves and nightstand, you can add a spark of who you are.

16. Make It Comfortable for Your Partner

Whether you’re having a long-term partner or a one-night stand stay the night, you want to ensure they feel safe and comfortable in your bedroom.

Here’s how:

  • Add a throw blanket to their side of the bed so they have some extra warmth in the middle of the night.
  • Lay out a bath towel, a face cloth, and perhaps even a t-shirt and boxers if your partner is staying the night.
  • Set a bottle of water on their nightstand.
  • Let your partner know where any essentials are, like body wash in the shower or Advil in the medicine cabinet.
  • Have extra phone chargers on hand.
  • If your partner is staying the night, ask what they like to eat or drink in the morning.

Just think about what you would want a partner, or even a friend, to do for you in their home. It doesn’t take long to do any of the above, but it can really put a bow on the whole experience for your partner.

17. Keep the Candles Burning

Dim the lights, play the music, and light the candles. It’s like the trinity of a romantic night in.

Candles add a nice scent to the room, yes. But more importantly, they create a sensual glow. If lighting is minimal in your bedroom, or you simply want to try something new, then set a few candles around the room and light them up.

If you already have a scent combination in your room that you love, or your partner is sensitive to candle scents, you can always go unscented.

18. Cool It Down

The last thing most people want is to have sweaty, stuffy sex in a too-hot bedroom. I’m not one to kink shame, but I’d say that’s a safe bet for the vast majority of people.

So lower the temperature an hour or two before your partner comes over for the optimal experience.

The “right” temperature is subjective, but a range of 67 to 70 degrees Fahrenheit (or 19 – 21 degrees Celsius) is a good place to start. You can just up or down slightly from there. Just remember that a cool room (as low as 65 degrees Fahrenheit, or 18 degrees Celsius) is optimal for good sleep, so readjust as needed before you hit the hay.

19. Satiate Their Sweet Tooth

Whether as an aphrodisiac or as a post-sex treat, having some sweet snacks on hand can be a fun addition to the bedroom.

If you’re going the aphrodisiac route, then chocolate, honey, bananas, or strawberries are an easy place to start. At least one of these will appeal to your partner, but don’t be afraid to mix and match either.

If it’s more for an after-sex activity, you can add some more variety. Trail mixes with nuts and chocolate, sour candies, or gummy bears are easy to store and easy to eat in bed. If she prefers salty to sweet, then popcorn or chips works too. This is a great addition to aftercare for both of you.

If you know there’s something in particular that your partner likes, then include that too! It’ll show her that you go the extra mile to make them comfortable.


Your bedroom should be a sanctuary for you, but it should also be comfortable and welcoming to your sexual partners. This will allow you both to fully relax and enjoy the encounter to the fullest.

If all of the above seems like huge changes, just take it one step at a time.

It may take a few months to get there, but every change you make will have a positive impact. You’ll soon begin to feel it yourself, which will only drive you to continue improving the space.

Laura Rose Halliday

Laura Rose Halliday started The School Of Squirt back in 2012 and has been running the website and digital courses along with Jakob Wulfe since then. She is a full time sex writer, researcher and practicer.

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