Open relationships, a form of consensual non-monogamy (CNM), are more common than many realize. In the U.S., about 4–7% of adults report currently being in an open relationship, and roughly one in five have some experience with CNM.
Trying an open relationship, or you’re already in one? Keep reading to get expert tips on how to navigate open relationships so it doesn’t close with a spectacular emotional bang.
In this article, we'll cover:
What Is An Open Relationship?
An open relationship is a relationship structure where both partners agree that one or both of them can have sexual or romantic relationships with others. Yep, that can mean dating people, going on dates, using dating apps, having sex with someone else, or forming deeper emotional and sexual relationships outside the primary relationship. Unlike secret affairs, open relationships are characterized by transparency and consent.
What Are the Different Types Of Open Relationships?
Open relationships come in many forms, each with different boundaries, expectations, and levels of emotional involvement. Here are the most common types of relationship:
Types Of Open Relationships
With that many types of open relationships, how many people are actually doing this and how many are just quietly curious?
How Common Are Open Relationships?
Open relationships are less common than monogamy, but far more people have tried or considered nonmonogamy than most realize. Here’s what the numbers show:
Findings
Open relationships are not exactly mainstream, but they’re far from rare and clearly becoming part of the modern relationship conversation. So, how do you navigate an open relationship without turning it into an emotional circus?
Step-By-Step Guide On How To Navigate An Open Relationship
Starting, maintaining and exiting a healthy open relationship needs trust, boundaries, and open and honest communication that stays strong when things get messy. Here’s how to navigate it step by step:
Step #1 – Get Clear On What You Really Want
Before trying an open relationship, be authentic about why you want it.
Do This
Step #2 – Start The Conversation Without Pressure
Bring up the idea of an open relationship calmly. This is a talk, not a sales pitch.
Do This
Step #3 – Learn About Open Relationships Together
Make sure you both understand what “open” means before you try it.
Do This
Step #4 – Set Clear Ground Rules
Clear rules or expectations stop small misunderstandings from becoming big problems.
Set Boundaries
Step #5 – Start Slow & Check In Often
Your first open experience does not need to jump straight to penetrative sex or sex with strangers.
Do This
Step #6 – Maintain Your Open Relationship
Open communication keeps the relationship strong after the exciting first part wears off.
Do This
Step #7 – Fix Conflict Before It Grows
Problems in the relationship get worse when nobody talks about them.
Do This
Step #8 – Exit The Open Relationship With Respect
If one partner wants to stop, talk honestly about whether to return to monogamy or end the relationship.
Do This
Follow these steps, and you’ll give your open relationship the best chance to grow without sacrificing trust, safety, or the connection you already have. But what happens when everyone feels respected and safe, and jealousy still barges in like it owns the place?
Andrew’s Expert Tips On How To Handle Jealousy In Open Relationships
Jealousy is not the villain here. It is a signal pointing to fear, insecurity, unmet needs, or a shaky agreement that needs your attention. Here’s how to listen to it without letting it run the whole bloody relationship.
Tip #1 - Treat Jealousy As A Signal
Jealousy often points to attachment fears: losing your importance, being left behind, or not feeling like enough. Get curious about what it is protecting instead of trying to crush it.
Tip #2 - Look For The Feeling Underneath The Jealousy
Jealousy is usually a secondary emotion covering pain, sadness, loneliness, or insecurity. Name the deeper feeling, mate, because that is the one that actually needs tending to.
Tip #3 - Turn "Red Thoughts" Into "Green Thoughts"
Catch the jealous story, then replace judgment with curiosity. Swap “They’re better than me” for “Hmm, what exactly am I afraid this means?”
Tip #4 - Wait Until The Peak Has Passed
Do not start the conversation while jealousy is at full volume. Calm down first, work out what it is telling you, then speak before your mouth creates a second problem.
Tip #5 - Use Opposite Action
If jealousy makes you want to isolate, do the opposite. See friends, make plans, or get out of the house while your partner is on a date instead of sitting alone feeding the monster.
Tip #6 - Get Curious, Not Judgmental
Ask questions instead of building a case in your head. “What came up for me?” gets you somewhere; “You clearly care more about them” gets you a three-hour argument.
Tip #7 - Make The Cycle The Enemy
Do not turn this into you versus your partner. Say, “The new relationship energy is creating distance between us,” so you can tackle the pattern together instead of blaming each other.
Tip #8 - Set Clear Agreements
Vague understandings are jealousy magnets. Boundaries are important around time, sleepovers, disclosure, barrier use, and how much detail you both want after dates.
Tip #9 - Protect Your Primary Connection
Keep weekly dates, one-on-one time, affection, and shared experiences alive. New partners should not receive your best energy while your primary relationship gets chores and emotional leftovers.
Tip #10 - Reconfirm Consent As You Go
One partner may be ready to move faster than the other. Ask, “Are you still okay with this pace?” because consent in open relationships is ongoing, not a one-time signature. Agreements can evolve, but they need to change together.
Tip #11 - Prepare For Feelings To Grow
You cannot control whether your partner starts to fall in love with someone else. You can control whether those feelings are hidden, discussed early, or allowed to quietly reshape the relationship.
Tip #12 - Get Support From Someone Who Understands CNM
Jealousy can be a doorway to deeper self-awareness, but sometimes you need help opening it. Choose a non-monogamy-affirming therapist who understands attachment, not one who treats monogamy as the automatic cure.
Follow these tips every time jealousy kicks in, and you’ll stop reacting from fear, but here’s the bigger question: do women actually enjoy open relationships in the first place?
A Woman's Perspective..
On Whether Women Actually Like Open Relationships
Some women love non-monogamous relationships. Others find them draining, painful, or completely wrong for them. The deciding factor is rarely sex. It is whether opening up a relationship feels freely chosen, emotionally safe, and genuinely fair. Here’s what research and women’s real experiences reveal:
What Does The Research Say?
Research shows women can be happy in open relationships, but many still prefer monogamy.
Here's Are The Findings
Why Do Some Women Enjoy Open Relationships?
For some women, the idea of an open relationship feels freeing rather than threatening.
Reason Why Some Women Enjoy Open Relationships
Why Do Some Women Regret Opening The Relationship?
Women usually struggle when opening up the relationship creates more freedom for him and more emotional labor for her.
Common Open Relationship Problems Include
What Women Who Tried Open Relationships Actually Said
Their experiences range from freeing to deeply painful, and the difference usually comes down to honesty, fairness, and emotional safety.
Even though I was skeptical at first, I am enjoying the open relationship!—People
The opening process wasn’t easy and definitely happened under duress. We’ve done a lot of work since then, but occasionally that wound resurfaces as resentment.—r/openmarriageregret
We broke up in the end, but I don’t think our relationship would have lasted as long as it did if we hadn’t opened it.”—r/polyamory
Yes, women can genuinely love open relationships. But she has to choose the freedom, not simply endure yours. An open relationship works for a woman when openness expands her life too. If you get the adventure while she carries the anxiety, the relationship is not open. It is painfully one-sided.
Still have questions? Good, because open relationships come with more fine print than a dating app’s terms and conditions.
Frequently Asked Questions
Open relationships raise big feelings fast, so here are the questions couples usually ask once theory meets real life.
Can open relationships work?
What if my partner is not interested?
Is it okay to have more emotional involvement with a new partner than my primary?
How do I keep sex exciting with my main partner while exploring with others?
How do I handle friends or family who judge my open relationship?
What is the best way to deal with FOMO when my partner is with someone else?
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