How to Last Longer in Bed Naturally—Real Tips That Actually Work

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How to Last Longer in Bed Naturally—Real Tips That Actually Work

Marco sits frustrated on the bed holding a timer reading 30 seconds after ejaculating early, while Ivy looks disappointed.
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Does your dick think sex is a TikTok video—finished in 60 seconds or less? You're in crowded company: about 30% of guys struggle with premature ejaculation. Keep reading and learn how to last longer in bed—minus the awkward apologies and way more high-fives.

In this article, we'll cover:

  • 10 proven ways to naturally last longer in bed (from orbit breathing to better edging)
  • Is it PE—how long should sex actually last? (hint: marathons aren’t required)
  • What women really want—why connection beats the clock every time

Andrew’s Expert Advice On How To Last Longer In Bed

Have you ever found yourself crossing the finish line way sooner than you'd hoped? Premature ejaculation (PE) is defined as climaxing within a minute or two of starting intercourse.

First things first: the worst thing you can do is suffer in silence. Performance anxiety feeds on secrecy and shame. Talk about it. If you’re worried about finishing too quickly, open up to your partner or a professional. (Hey, I’m not just here for decoration!)

Joking aside, being open and transparent about this issue can take a huge weight off your shoulders. When the pressure to “perform perfectly” is lifted, it’s easier to work on solutions together.

Now, let’s dive into my top techniques to help you gain stamina and control when it counts.

Advice #1 – Try the “Orbit” Breathing Technique

Marco sits cross-legged on a yoga mat, eyes closed and calmly practicing the "Orbit" breathing technique to last longer in bed.
One of my go-to strategies is a deep breathing exercise I like to call the Orbit Technique. It’s inspired by ancient tantric practices (think Taoist “microcosmic orbit”), but here’s the gist: by controlling your breathing, you control your arousal.


Here’s how it works

  • When you feel yourself nearing the point of no return, slow down and take a long, deep breath. Inhale through your nose for a count of 4 or 5.
  • Visualize the breath traveling down to your stomach, into your pelvis, and circulating around your penis—almost like an orbit of energy.
  • Then, exhale through your mouth for another count of 4 or 5, guiding that energy back up toward your head.
  • Repeat, keeping the breath slow, controlled, and in sync with your movement during sex.

This calms your nervous system and shifts your focus away from your dick, helping you delay ejaculation and stay in control.

Here’s Your Challenge

  • Practice orbit breathing daily for 5 minutes.
  • Use it during masturbation to get used to controlling your arousal.
  • When you feel close to finishing during sex, breathe instead of panicking—keep the energy circulating.

Advice #2 – Improve Your Self-Pleasure Techniques & Build Ejaculation Control

How you masturbate is how you fuck. If you’re used to rushing to finish, your brain is trained to fire fast—and that’s exactly what will happen when you’re with a partner.

Instead, train for stamina:

  • Slow it down. Pay attention to your arousal level on a 1-10 scale (10 = ejaculation).
  • When you hit a 7 or 8, stop or lighten your touch, take deep breaths, and let your arousal drop back to a 5 or 6 before continuing.
  • This stop-start method builds control over your orgasm reflex, making you last longer during actual sex.
Marco practicing mindful masturbation to improve stamina and control for lasting longer in bed.

Another tip: adjust your grip. A tight, death-grip hand makes vaginal sex feel too soft in comparison, leading to faster orgasms. Loosen your grip, slow down, and vary your technique to make sex feel more natural.

Here’s Your Challenge

  • Masturbate 2-3 times per week, using the stop-start method.
  • Switch up your technique—use lube to mimic real sex sensations.
  • Practice finishing slower, gradually increasing your control over time.

Advice #3 – Relax Your Pelvic Floor With Reverse Kegel Exercises

Marco performing reverse Kegel exercises to relax his pelvic floor muscles for better ejaculation control.

Your pelvic floor muscles play a huge role in ejaculation control. When you’re close to climax, these muscles automatically contract—pushing you over the edge.

The trick? Learn to relax them.

How to do Reverse Kegels:

  • First, locate your pelvic floor by stopping your pee midstream (don’t do this regularly, just as a test).
  • A reverse Kegel is the opposite—instead of clenching, you gently push out, as if trying to release urine.
  • Picture blowing up a balloon with your pelvic muscles—you should feel a downward motion.

When you feel yourself getting too close during sex, consciously relax those muscles instead of clenching. This disrupts the automatic orgasm reflex and delays ejaculation.

Here’s Your Challenge

  • Do 10 reverse Kegels daily, holding each for 5 seconds.
  • Combine it with deep breathing to increase relaxation.
  • Use reverse Kegels during sex when you feel yourself getting too close.

Advice #4 – Train Your Mind To Stay Present & Focused During Sex

Marco and Ivy share an intimate, sensual moment, practicing mindfulness to enhance connection and delay ejaculation.

Your mind is just as responsible for premature ejaculation as your body. If you’re too focused on finishing, you’ll finish faster.

Instead, shift your focus:

  • Pay attention to her breathing, her touch, the connection between you.
  • Keep your breathing steady and controlled—this naturally lowers arousal spikes.
  • Maintain eye contact to stay grounded instead of getting lost in your head.

Some guys try thinking about baseball or distracting thoughts, but that disconnects you from the moment and can even lead to erection loss. The real trick is staying engaged—just at a controlled pace.

Here’s Your Challenge

  • Practice mindfulness daily for 10 minutes.
  • During sex, focus on sensations beyond your penis (her skin, her breath, her movements).
  • If you catch yourself spiraling toward orgasm, take a deep breath and slow your movements.

Advice #5 – Master The Different Behavioral Techniques

There are three main behavioral techniques to train yourself to last longer:

  1. 1
    Stop-Start Method: Pause when you’re close to finishing, let the urge drop, then continue.
  2. 2
    Squeeze Technique: Gently squeeze the frenulum (just below the head of your penis) to reduce sensitivity.
  3. 3
    Edging: Repeatedly bring yourself to the edge of orgasm, then stop—this conditions your body to last longer.
Marco demonstrates the squeeze method, gently pressing below the head to delay ejaculation and build lasting control.

Here’s Your Challenge

  • Test each technique during masturbation first.
  • Introduce one technique during sex, see what works best.
  • Communicate with your partner—make it fun instead of a science experiment.

Advice #6 – Experiment With Slower, Controlled Sex Positions

Marco and Ivy intimately embrace in a sensual, slow sex position, enhancing control and prolonging pleasure.

Some sex positions increase stimulation, while others give you better control.

Best positions for lasting longer

  • Spooning – Less depth, slower movement, easy to control.
  • Cowgirl (but let her control the pace) – Less thrusting, more grinding = better stamina.
  • Missionary with slow grinding – Keeps stimulation steady, not overwhelming.

Positions to avoid if you finish fast

  • Doggy style – Deep penetration + visual stimulation = quick finish.
  • Standing positions – Increased blood flow makes finishing faster.

Here’s Your Challenge

  • Test out slower positions first and work your way up.
  • Pause and switch positions when you feel close.
  • Focus on grinding, not thrusting—this reduces overstimulation.

Advice #7 – Exercise Regularly & Maintain A Healthy Diet

Marco exercising regularly to boost sexual stamina, improve endurance, and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Your body’s fitness directly affects your sexual stamina. If walking up stairs leaves you winded, a long sex session definitely will.

What to focus on:

  • Cardio (running, swimming) – Improves endurance.
  • Strength training (squats, deadlifts) – Strengthens pelvic muscles.
  • Pelvic floor exercises (hip openers, Kegels) – Directly boost ejaculation control.

Diet for better stamina:

  • Eat zinc & magnesium-rich foods (red meat, whole grains, spinach).
  • Avoid excessive alcohol & junk food—they kill stamina and blood flow.

Here’s Your Challenge

  • Exercise 3-4 times a week.
  • Start pelvic floor exercises daily.
  • Eat foods that boost blood flow (lean protein, leafy greens).

Advice #8 – Incorporate Sex Toys or Oral to Avoid Awkward Moments

Marco using oral sex and a vibrator to enhance pleasure and prevent premature ejaculation during intimacy with Ivy.

Okay, real talk—sometimes your dick clocks out before your shift’s over. Hey, it happens. But here’s the thing: when men experience premature ejaculation, it doesn't have to end the show.

That’s where your secret weapons—sex toys and oral—come into play. Trust me, your partner won't mind that you're calling in reinforcements; she'll probably hand you her favorite toy herself. Start with a simple wand and ramp it up with clit stimulators, G-spot vibrators or get naughty with a butt plug.

Here are three oral sex positions specifically designed to help you last longer:

  • The 'Sixty-Nine' Lie back and have your partner position herself over your face. As you go down on her and she gives you a blowjob, your focus naturally splits, making it significantly harder to climax too quickly.
  • The 'Crouching Tiger' Sit upright while your partner straddles your thighs facing downward. She leans forward for oral while you pleasure her from behind. This position limits intense penile stimulation, helping you maintain control and last longer in bed.
  • The 'Inverted Elevator' (Standing 69) Stand, lift your partner by the waist upside-down, and simultaneously pleasure each other. The physical effort required creates natural distraction, reducing your risk of premature ejaculation while making the experience memorable.

Here’s Your Challenge

  • Buy a sex toy and explore with her.
  • Work your oral game into regular play—no dick required, satisfaction guaranteed.
  • Turn awkward pauses into sexy intermissions—boosting your self-esteem and her pleasure at once.

Advice #9 – Use Thick Condoms To Reduce Sensitivity Temporarily

Marco holding a thick condom, a practical solution to temporarily reduce sensitivity and last longer during sex.

Quick fix alert: Thicker condoms act like training wheels for your penis—they help reduce sensitivity just enough to keep you riding longer without crashing. Sure, it feels slightly less intense, but hey, not finishing during foreplay is worth a slight trade-off.

  • Thick condoms: Think of them as your dick’s safety blanket—comforting, reassuring, and helping you last longer without involving local anesthetics.
  • Temporary numbing: It's like sexual medicine without needing a first consultation or prescription. (Just skip the DIY numbing with ice cubes, trust me.)

Here’s Your Challenge

  • Stock up on thick condoms—no glow-in-the-dark, flavored nonsense. Get serious about your dick’s endurance.
  • Try them solo first to find your sweet spot.
  • Once your body’s trained, ditch them gradually—no one wears floaties forever, right?

Advice #10 – Get Your Blood Work Done to Identify Any Deficiencies

Marco consulting a doctor about blood work to identify potential deficiencies affecting sexual stamina.

Look, sometimes premature ejaculation treatment isn’t about mastering the stop-start technique or squeezing harder. Sometimes, your dick’s trying to tell you something about your overall health. Hormones, deficiencies, and even stress or other emotional factors can affect how quickly you reach the finish line.

Seeing a sex therapist isn’t just for guys with major issues—it's about optimizing your performance. Think of it as giving your penis its own motivational coach.

  • Blood test: Your dick’s annual check-up—better safe than sorry.
  • Professional guidance: Because Dr. Google isn’t recognized by the International Society of anything credible.

Here’s Your Challenge

  • Book a medical checkup—your dick deserves professional attention.
  • Be transparent with your sex therapist—trust me, they regularly hear about premature ejaculation. You’re not the first.
  • Follow through with their recommendations—whether that's reducing stress, adjusting lifestyle, or (rarely) exploring medication. You might just find your dick’s secret to staying power hidden in those test results.

If you’re serious about lasting longer, start practicing these techniques daily. The combination of breathing control, self-awareness, exercise, and proper technique will retrain your body to last longer naturally.

By now you’re armed with techniques to help extend your pleasure, but you might still be wondering: What’s a realistic goal? How long is sex supposed to last and what is premature ejaculation, anyway? Let’s bust a few myths.

I’m A “One Minute Man!” – Do I Have Premature Ejaculation?

Marco looks stressed after finishing too quickly, while Ivy appears disappointed, illustrating premature ejaculation concerns.

Premature ejaculation (PE) is basically your dick sprinting when you'd rather it jog. And nope, it’s not the same as erectile dysfunction (ED)—that’s when getting or staying hard becomes mission impossible.

How do you know if PE is an issue?

  • You ejaculate within a minute of penetration or stimulation almost every time.
  • You can’t delay ejaculation, no matter what you try.
  • It’s causing distress—for you or your partner.

The goal isn’t to last forever. It’s not just about time—it’s about whether you control it or it controls you.

Two Types of PE

  1. 1
    Primary premature ejaculation – You’ve always had this issue, from your first sexual experience onward.
  2. 2
    Acquired premature ejaculation – You used to have better control, but over time, factors like stress, mental health, recreational drugs, or physical factors made it worse.

To recap, if you finish in under a minute and it’s frustrating, it’s time to address premature ejaculation. If you’re lasting 3-5 minutes but want more control, that’s not clinically PE, but better stamina never hurts.

Common Reasons for Premature Ejaculation

PE isn’t random—it’s usually linked to:
  • Nerve endings that are too sensitive
  • Overactive blood vessels that trigger fast ejaculation
  • Hormonal imbalances affecting sexual function
  • Mental health issues like performance anxiety
  • Erectile dysfunction leading to rushing penetration

This isn’t rare—1 in 3 men experience PE at some point in their lives. The good news? It’s 100% treatable.

Solutions

Techniques like the stop-start method, the squeeze method, and incorporating foreplay can help increase stamina over time. And if lifestyle changes aren’t enough, there are medical treatments—from Emla cream (a numbing agent) to erectile dysfunction medication prescribed off-label—that can help. Yet before rushing to the pharmacy I highly recommend trying natural ways to improve your stamina.

You're worried about stopwatch sex—but does she even care about your personal best? Let's ask a real woman before you pull a muscle trying to impress the wrong scoreboard.

A Woman's Perspective On.. 

Does Lasting Longer Really Matter?

from Isabel
SEXUALITY COACH
Isabel, a certified sexologist at SQL and SOS, shares a woman's perspective on whether lasting longer really matters.

As a woman and a sexologist, I’m often asked, “Does lasting longer in sexual intercourse actually matter to women?” The short answer—it’s less about the clock and more about connection, quality, and mutual enjoyment. Let’s get real about what women truly value during sex.

Key Insight #1 – The Pleasure Gap: Why Rushing Ruins the Moment

Most women need extra time and adequate sexual stimulation to climax. Rushed penetrative sex often leaves us feeling unsatisfied, creating frustration for both parties.

So, What Should You Do?

  • Start early: Warm her up with prolonged, focused foreplay, like oral sex or sensual touch, ensuring she's highly aroused before penetration.
  • Use rhythm wisely: Alternate between deep, slow thrusts and pauses to manage your own arousal while maximizing hers.
  • Prioritize her orgasm first: Occasionally aim to bring her close to orgasm before penetration begins; this drastically reduces the impact if you climax quickly afterward.

Key Insight #2 – How Performance Anxiety Affects Both Partners

Your anxiety about lasting longer or maintaining erectile function doesn’t just affect you—women sense and absorb your tension. This mutual stress dampens arousal for both.

So, What Should You Do?

  • Address it playfully: If you finish early, use humor to defuse tension (“Wow, you’re just too damn sexy—give me a minute!”), reassuring your partner it's not a big deal.
  • Discuss outside the bedroom: Casually talk about any anxiety you feel when you're not in bed, so it becomes less intimidating during sex.
  • Reframe your mindset: Remind yourself—and her—that sex isn’t a performance test. It's shared pleasure, which can continue in other forms after ejaculation.

Key Insight #3 – What Actually Makes a Man Great in Bed?

Being unforgettable sexually isn’t measured by duration. It’s about attentiveness, confidence, adaptability, and putting genuine effort into mutual satisfaction.

So, What Should You Do?

  • Stay observant: Notice what makes your partner react positively (specific touches, positions, or words), and use them intentionally.
  • Confident recovery: If things don’t go as planned (quick climax or losing erection), confidently transition into pleasing her in other ways (oral, manual, or toys) without apology.
  • Ask enticing questions: Check in during sex with sexy, and easy-to-answer prompts (“Do you want me to go slower? Harder?”). This boosts intimacy, responsiveness, and pleasure.

The common denominator is the man’s ability to tune into his partner and the moment. If you focus on being that guy – attentive, caring, confident, and open-minded – I promise you, the reviews will be stellar, whether you last 5 minutes or 25. And ironically, the more you emphasize these qualities, the less pressure there is on “time,” which often leads to naturally lasting longer anyway. Funny how that works!

Still got burning questions about lasting longer? Perfect—let's dive into the FAQs before your browser history gets even weirder.

Frequently Asked Questions

Still got questions? Totally normal. Learning how to last longer and on your own terms means getting curious—so keep asking!

Does Circumcision Affect How Long I Last in Bed?

Hmm, circumcision might slightly alter sensitivity, but trust me—it’s not the reason behind quick ejaculation. Want to treat premature ejaculation? Skip the snip and focus on behavioral control like edging or desensitizing products instead.

Is It Possible to Last Too Long During Sex?

Funny enough, yes. Lasting forever sounds impressive until friction beats fun. Healthy sexual activity hits the sweet spot—enough to satisfy but not so long you both start thinking about tomorrow’s chores.

Can Alcohol or Weed Help Me Last Longer, or Does It Make It Worse?

A drink or two can relax you and delay quick ejaculation, but overdoing alcohol intake might leave you floppy and frustrated. The same goes for weed. Stick to moderation, not medication. Also, remember those are just numbing and suppressing the actual root cause of your potential performance issues.

Does Penis Size Have Anything to Do With Stamina?

Not really. Size doesn't determine how fast you climax. Confidence and skill matter far more. So, stop measuring and start practicing other techniques to stay sexually aroused longer.

Is There a Way to Reset My Sensitivity if I’m Too Reactive?

Absolutely— techniques like edging help adjust your sensitivity threshold over time. If you regularly ejaculate too quickly, retrain yourself gently; your penis isn’t a racecar, buddy.

Can Watching Too Much Porn Make It Harder to Last During Real Sex?

Definitely. Porn can condition you for unrealistic, quick ejaculation. Cutting back resets your brain, reconnecting real-world sex with genuine arousal. Prioritize a healthy lifestyle and real intimacy—trust me, it pays off way better.

Ready to transform from a One-Minute-Man to an all-night stand? Join our exclusive online course “The Lasting System” and overcome performance issues like premature ejaculation (lasting longer) or erectile dysfunction (getting & staying rock hard). Don’t just read about it - master it! Enroll today and start transforming your life. Get started Now!

CVR Blog - Single

Andrew Mioch

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Andrew Mioch is a certified sexologist and one of the world’s leading sex coaches and best-selling author after spending 10 years learning from experts all over the world.

Andrew has personally coached over 5,000 men. His expertise is regularly sought in publications such as Men's Health, Medium, and Cosmopolitan Magazine.

These days, Andrew spends most of his time coaching clients privately and also through SQL’s online Mastery Academy.

Disclosure: Our content is reader-supported. This means if you click on some of our links, then we may earn a commission. We only recommend products that we believe will add value to our readers.

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