How To Finger Yourself: My Ultimate Guide

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In this guide, I’m going to show you the exact techniques that I use to give myself MIND-NUMBINGLY great orgasms! My goal is to open your mind and help you discover how to finger yourself to ECSTASY!

I intentionally made this guide as broad as possible because I recognize that not everyone is going to be starting with the same level of experience:

  • If you’re a girl who’s never ‘gone south’ before, I’ll teach you the ropes.
  • If you have never fingered yourself to orgasm before, I’ll show you how!
  • If you’re quite experienced but are stuck in a rut, I’ve got plenty for you too! I’ll give you a range of fingering moves for your soul that will inspire you to explore new areas of your body, try different strokes, and switch things up completely!

First, I’ll show you how to get yourself super aroused and WET. This is a crucial first step as the more aroused you are, the stronger your orgasm will be when you finger yourself.

Next, I’ll walk you through the PRECISE moves and techniques that I use to bring myself to orgasm again and again!

You see, fingering yourself offers some AMAZING benefits, such as:

  • 10X stronger orgasms than you can experience from penetrative sex.
  • An improved sex life (once you know what you like, you’ll be MUCH better at explaining it to your partner!)
  • The chance to experience a SQUIRTING ORGASM!

I PROMISE you that this guide will show you everything you need to know to make fingering feel INCREDIBLE and leave you breathless for more!

In this guide, we’ll be discussing;

So, follow the steps in this guide in order, and you’ll be giving yourself BACK-ACHINGLY good orgasms in no time!

How to de-stress and get aroused

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to get aroused when you’re stressed out? There’s a huge psychological component to getting turned on and you NEED to de-stress before you even think about touching yourself.


Please don’t skip this part! The No. 1 rule to making yourself ORGASM though fingering is to get yourself aroused first, and then stimulate. DON’T stimulate yourself to get aroused – that will make it much more difficult to orgasm.

If you are stressed, fingering yourself is nowhere near as much fun. What’s more, if you do orgasm, it won’t feel anywhere near as intense – and I’m guessing that’s NOT why you started reading this guide!

Luckily, there’s a simple way to de-stress AND get aroused… take a shower or bath!

The absolute BEST way to de-stress AND build your arousal levels is to take a relaxing shower or enjoy a long, hot soak in the bathtub. If you add some essential oils to the mix, you’ll be well on your way to unwinding and feeling sexier than ever!

While essential oils aren’t aphrodisiacs, there is evidence that they can help you de-stress, which could benefit the sexual experience of fingering yourself.

There are PLENTY of ways of using essential oils in the bathroom, including:

  • adding a few drops of oil to the bathtub before getting in
  • buying some oil-infused soap or shower gel
  • burning some incense sticks or candles containing essential oils

If you’re looking to de-stress and get aroused, essential oils are FANTASTIC! But if you’re looking for a way to get SERIOUSLY TURNED ON, I have two words for you: waterproof speaker.

If you don’t own a waterproof speaker, stop reading and order one ASAP! These little marvels use the Bluetooth wizardly to pipe whatever auditory heroin your ears desire into your bathroom.

While you shower or take a bath, you can listen to:

  • Your favorite make-out tracks
  • A sexy audiobook story that gets you there
  • A sexy voice that makes you want to cum
  • Some erotica or porn

Once you find that sound that makes your heart flutter and your knees go weak, you’re halfway towards having a SERIOUSLY good fingering orgasm!

A word about hygiene….

We’ve all seen movies where girls suddenly get the urge to finger themselves and start flicking away, but seriously; your vagina is your holy shrine – be careful what bacteria you’re introducing! That’s why I always recommend having a shower or taking a bath.

Washing not only helps you unwind and build your arousal levels, it also prevents any unexpected nasties from ruining your fun! We don’t all have time for a shower, I get that. But if you’re in a rush, at a bare minimum PLEASE wash your hands! Watch those fingernails too – there’s lots of unpleasant stuff lurking under there that you don’t want anywhere near your most sensitive parts!

How to finger yourself in the bathroom

It’s hot. It’s steamy. And you’re naked. So why not get wet and wild with yourself while you’re in the bathroom? The shower or bathtub is the PERFECT place to take your body over the edge, and, if you’re a fingering newbie, your bathroom could easily become your new favorite playground.

If you want to feel the earth move while you finger yourself, you NEED to have a quiet, private place where you KNOW that you won’t be disturbed. So really, what better place than the bathroom?

Here are some super sexy ideas for steaming things up!

Use silicone lube

Feeling warm water teeming over your body is, by itself, pretty damn hot. But adding some silicone lube makes the sensations nothing short of DIVINE!

Before you even think about touching your clitoris or vagina, slather your fingers in lube and massage yourself all over your body. Stroke yourself everywhere while thinking the naughtiest, dirtiest things that you can; you know, the things that make you really wet and horny.

It could be:

  • A certain guy at work who you love to fantasize about
  • A particular situation or a memory of an old flame
  • A favourite piece of fiction that makes your heart beat a little faster

Whatever it is, find it and use it! Lube and dirty thoughts go together like fish and chips – you’re arousal levels will go SKY-HIGH!

Try nipple play

Most women know that their nipples are one of their most powerful erogenous zones. But few women realize that nipple stimulation actually activates the same part of the brain as clitoral and G-spot stimulation!

With enough practice, you can experience a nipple orgasm through nipple stimulation alone! This unique sensation isn’t as powerful as a clitoral orgasm, but it IS intense and it IS a great prelude to fingering yourself.

So lather up your fingers with lube and swirl them around your breasts, areola and nipples. The contrast between the cool gel and then warm water can be enough to take your body over the top!

Tease yourself

It’s a wonderful thing when you discover that you have the power to SURPRISE your own body. It gives you an incredible sense of empowerment and is one of the HOTTEST things you can possibly do to yourself!

Using a technique called ‘edging’ (don’t sweat, we’ll explain this later!) you can touch yourself around certain areas, like your nipples, vagina, and clitoris, and tease yourself CRAZY! By slowing working your way in from the outside, you can keep your body in suspense about what’s coming next.

And guess what? It feels INSANELY GREAT! Try it!

Try shallow penetration

Once you’ve teased and excited your body to within an inch of your life, then, and only then, should you touch your clitoris and vagina. I LOVE shallow penetration and I’ve got a feeling you will too!

Put some lubricant on your thumb and gently penetrate yourself by slowly moving the tip of your thumb into your vagina. Combined with the cascading water, your clitoris will respond REALLY WELL to this. Trust me.

Try Kegels

Contracting your pelvic floor muscles for a minute or two is an AMAZING way to increase circulation to your vagina. A couple of these ‘sexercises’ will make the fingering WAY more exciting later!

These are just a few ideas for you to try, and yes; you CAN try any of them ANYWHERE, not just in the bathroom! You can also try any of the following fingering techniques in the bathroom – they work just as well there as anywhere else!

Once you are de-stressed and aroused, it’s time to begin!

Starting to explore

Once you’ve dried off, find a quiet, relaxing place where you know you won’t be disturbed. Dim the lights, set some mood music and light some incense or aromatherapy candles to create the perfect atmosphere.

When you’re ready to transition from just rubbing yourself to actually stimulating yourself, one of the best ways to build anticipation is by cupping your hand over your pussy.

By simply holding your hand in place, your clitoris will receive some mild stimulation and this will help build your levels of desire. Take your time. Tease yourself. Don’t give yourself instant gratification.

Here’s where ‘edging’ comes into play. Edging is a technique where you start touching yourself around the area you want to target like your nipples, clitoris or vagina.

You tease yourself and slowly work your way slowly inwards towards the area you want to stimulate. Cupping your vagina is a FABULOUS edging technique that feels incredible!

But there are many other ways you can try edging.

  • You can stroke your inner thighs towards your vagina
  • You can massage your breasts around your nipples
  • You can fondle your pubic mound near your clitoris

There are literally thousands of ways to ‘edge’ your erogenous zones so be sure to experiment until you find your groove!

Here are THREE of my ALL TIME FAVORITE edging techniques for you to try!


To make your clit tingle until it feels like it’s going to explode, make a ‘V’ shape with your forefinger and middle finger and place them around your labia. With your clitoris between your two fingers, it will get some great indirect stimulation, but nothing that will make you orgasm.

To drive yourself wild, pulse your fingers by moving them together and apart. This gives your clitoris a fabulous tingling sensation, helping to build arousal and drive your levels of desire.

If you want to get technical, the larger fleshy folds of skin around your vagina are your labia majora and the smaller, thinner fold of skin is the labia minora. When you massage and stroke the outer lips of your vulva, you’re actually stimulating the clitoral leg network underneath!

If you do this after you’re already turned on, you’ll find that when you rub your labia, you’ll naturally start to get wet. This natural lubricant will help make the whole experience feel amazing! If you’re naturally quite dry, try using a lubricant like silicone lube or coconut oil.

The 2-Finger Twirl

Another crazy-good edging technique is called the 2-Finger Twirl.

Place your forefinger and middle finger either side of your clitoris without touching it. Try moving slowly up and down until it starts to feel good. You can move faster as you become more aroused.

Where the magic really starts to happen is when you do this in a circular motion. This is INSANELY HOT and is definitely most girl’s preferred way of fingering themselves to orgasm.



The third amazing edging technique you should know is called the Side Rub.

Place your index fingers to either side of your clitoris and gently stroke up and down. This will give your clit around 20-percent of the stimulation of direct contact and is the perfect way to increase your levels of desire!

Once you are nicely turned on and SUPER WET, it’s time to focus on your clitoris!

Caressing your clitoris

When you finger yourself, you’ll want to focus on your clitoris. Most girls stick to one or two fingers but you can always slip another one into the mix if you like!

The secret to turning clit fingering from ordinary to orgasmic is wetness! You NEED moisture so that your finger can glide over your clit and the soft fold of skin that covers it called the clitoris hood.

I’ll be honest: touching and gliding over your clit in any way WILL feel really good!

However, there are three basic flavors that will make caressing your clit feel amazing:

  • The Rub Up
  • The Rub Down
  • The Double Rub

The Rub Up

Using one or two fingers, part your labia and get the tips of your fingers really wet. Then start stroking gently over your clitoris in short, downward motions. This slow, sensual rub is unbeatable if you want to tease yourself!

The Rub Up

This is the one that most girls prefer – rubbing up over the clit. The Rub Up is great as it lets your finger(s) pick up moisture from your vagina and lubricate your clit as you stroke.

The Double Rub

As you get closer to orgasming, this is the one you’ll likely prefer! Rubbing faster and faster until you reach the ‘Big O’ is almost guaranteed to make you climax!

You can mix up any of these three variations depending on your mood and how turned on you are. There’s no right or wrong way to finger yourself – it’s all about having fun and maximizing your pleasure!

Exploring your vagina

For some women, clitoral stimulation is the be-all and end-all of fingering. It gets them off. Job done.

But sliding your fingers into your vagina, either partially or all the way, opens up a new universe of sexual pleasure! It’s amazing how many of us never think to touch ourselves internally and only use the outer geography of the vulva. We never venture inside and discover the vagina’s rich, beautiful gems!

Once you’re nicely turned on and wet, you can easily slide a finger inside your vaginal canal. As your finger gets covered in your natural lubricant, it’s natural to want to press your finger into your vagina to check how it feels. The more you push your finger in, the more lubricated it will become, helping you go deeper and deeper inside.

You can try:

  • Dipping your fingers in and out. (This ‘in-out’ motion mimics sex, but not everyone finds it pleasurable.)
  • Running your fingers along the walls of your vagina.
  • Curling your fingers back towards the front of your vagina.

Try not to worry about how to do it ‘right’. Instead, pay attention to what feels best for you. With practice, you can try and feel for your G-spot, a small area inside your vagina that can give you a MUCH more intense orgasm than clitoral stimulation alone.

Here’s how to find yours.

How to find your G-spot

Slip your finger(s) inside your vagina and then curl them back so they are pushing against the front wall of your vagina as shown in the diagram below.

Your G-spot will feel a bit like a rough spot with tiny ridges, kind of like a wet blackberry. It’s usually around two to three inches inside the vagina. Some women find that their G-spot is very close to the entrance of their vagina. For other women, their G-spot is quite deep inside.

Unfortunately, the G-spot can be quite hard to find if you’re not turned on. Another downside is that it’s right next to your bladder.

This can give you the urge to pee when you start to stimulate it. If this happens to you, don’t worry; it’s perfectly normal! Don’t worry, the reward is worth worth the risk!

In fact, G-spot stimulation is one of the best ways of achieving a SQUIRTING orgasm! So, how exactly do you excite your G-spot until you climax?

6 ways to finger your G-spot

If want to learn how to show your G-spot some love, I’ve got three simple fingering techniques that will rock your world! If, after a little practice, hitting the ‘Big O’ proves elusive, I’ve also got three advanced techniques to share with you – just in case!

Let’s start simply first…

The three simplest ways to finger your G-spot are:

  • Rubbing
  • Pressing
  • Stroking

Before you try them out, know this: the tips of your fingers are where the magic happens. It’s not just about what your fingers are doing; you need to think about what your fingertips are doing while you’re fingering yourself. I recommend experimenting with each of these techniques in order and figuring out which one (or which combination) you prefer!


Rubbing is one of the first techniques that most women master, especially if they are just learning where their G-spot actually is!

Once you’ve comfortable fingering your vaginal canal and have identified the little bumps of your G-spot, try moving your finger back and forth in little circular motions. If rubbing doesn’t hit the spot right away, try increasing the pressure so that your fingertips are pressing directly onto the bumps of your G-spot.


Once you’ve mastering rubbing your G-spot, you’ll likely discover that pressing can be VERY enjoyable!

Think of it like pressing and holding a button: hold your fingertip over your G-spot and press strongly up for a few seconds until it starts feeling pleasurable. If nothing happens, keep trying again at slightly different points.

The difference between “No!” and “Whoa!” can be just a few millimeters, so don’t give up! Through experimentation, you’ll hone in on EXACTLY the right spot to press and precisely how much pressure you need to apply to make it feel amazing!


Stroking is a little trickier to master than rubbing or pressing as you need to experiment with both the speed and the length of your strokes until you find your grove. Begin by inserting your finger into your vagina and curling it back towards the front of your vagina. Slowly drag it forward with enough pressure until it feels pleasurable.

Learning how to stroke your G-spot can be a little confusing. You may stroke with a gentle amount of pressure and feel absolutely nothing, but then try it a little harder and suddenly find that it’s AMAZING!

As with all fingering techniques, experimentation is key! Once you’ve conquered these three basic moves, you may be able to experience a very powerful G-spot orgasm!

However, if the ‘Big O’ still isn’t happening for you, here are three advanced fingering techniques that you can try:

  • External pressure
  • Reverse stimulation
  • The Double

These techniques are great if you just want to come, and UNBELIEVABLY GOOD if you want to experience a SQUIRTING ORGASM!

Here’s exactly how to do them.

External pressure

If you’ve been rubbing, pressing and stroking and still not climaxing, don’t worry! It’s perfectly normal and the usual culprit is not enough pressure. Many women simply can’t exert enough pressure on their G-spot when they are fingering themselves.

The solution? Squeeze your G-spot from the outside!

One approach is to slide one finger into your vagina and use your palm to push down your pubic mound (your mons pubis above your pubic bone). If you’re able to press down hard enough, you’ll be able to feel your G-spot protruding into your vagina more than usual.

This can be a VERY effective way of reaching orgasm through G-spot stimulation!

Another technique is to use your other hand to apply downward pressure, as shown in the diagram below.

Simply insert one finger into your vaginal canal, curl it back and press your G-spot. Use the palm of your free hand to press down on your mons pubis and apply pressure.

Overall, external pressure is one of the BEST WAYS of experiencing a G-spot orgasm if you’re having trouble climaxing through internal stimulation alone.

Give it a try and see!

Reverse stimulation

If sparks still aren’t flying, another solution is to finger your G-spot from behind.

This isn’t as CRAZY as it sounds: Many girls LOVE to finger themselves while lying on their tummies, and reaching down your lower back and into your vagina is actually pretty damn comfortable!

Although reverse stimulation is nowhere near as intense as direct G-spot stimulation, it does let you explore new areas of your vagina that may help you climax.

With reverse stimulation, you are stimulating the opposite side of your vagina, known as your posterior wall, with your fingertip. This provides POWERFUL indirect stimulation that your G-spot will love!

Want to know how to make reverse stimulation even BETTER? Trying caressing your clit during reverse stimulation for an OVERWHELMING sensation. If you’re having trouble having a G-spot orgasm, this could be enough to get you there!

The Double

If you’ve tried all the fingering techniques described so far and are still struggling to orgasm, fear not; I’ve got you covered with a little technique I call The Double. It’s the trickiest fingering technique of the lot, but the payoff can be HUGE!

The Double is essentially rubbing your G-spot and your clitoris at the same time.

There are two main ways to do this.

The first option is to do both actions with the same hand. Slide your middle finger into your vagina and feel for your clitoris. Using the rubbing technique I outlined earlier, start applying pressure directly onto your G-spot.

Then, using your thumb, apply direct pressure onto your clitoris using any of the three techniques I mentioned above; the Rub Up, the Rub Down, or the Double Rub. Although this is the fingering equivalent of rubbing your tummy while patting your head, once you master it, you WILL enjoy it!

The second option is slightly less challenging; simply use both of your hands at the same time.

First, use your main hand to finger your G-spot in the way I just described. Next, use your other hand to rub your clitoris.

I personally prefer the 2-Finger Twirl technique, but feel free to use any of the clit techniques in this guide, depending on your personal preferences. This technique makes reaching orgasm ALMOST INEVITABLE and is hands down my all-time FAVORITE way to orgasm!

5 fingering moves for your soul

If clitoral orgasms and G-spot orgasms are par for the course for you, THIS is the section for you!

If you’re anything like me, you probably find yourself getting stuck in a ‘set routine’ whenever you finger yourself. You might catch yourself wondering; “Wait, how have I touched my pussy in the same way for years and never thought to do anything differently?”

If that chimes with you, then this section WILL help you break out of your rut! I’ll show you FIVE of my favorite fingering moves that will stir your soul.

You see, trying new moves makes you more ‘present’ to your body. It reminds you how cool fingering yourself actually is! By simply touching certain parts of your body, you can bring yourself erotic beauty and give yourself an orgasm!

What’s not to love?

To rediscover that sense of awe and curiosity that you had when you first discovered masturbation, here are my top five MUST-TRY fingering moves!

Stimulate your perineum

Stimulating your perineum is one of the most FANTASTIC yet lesser-known things you can do while fingering yourself! Your perineum, located halfway between your vagina and anus, feels INCREDIBLE when touched.


Press your perineum with one or two fingers in a wave-like motion. This will send cascades of sensations coursing through your entire genital area.

Stroke your introitus

It may not have the coolest sounding name, but the entrance to your vagina – the introitus – is actually packed full of clitoral legs – the nerve endings that are linked directly to your clitoral gland! When you stroke around this sensitive area, you’re stimulating a different part of your clitoris and pushing the boundaries of sexual pleasure in ways you probably never thought possible!


Once you are nicely aroused through clitoral stimulation, insert a lubed up fingertip slightly into your vaginal canal. Gently rotate your hand left and right to stimulate the introitus.

Explore your urethral sponge

Another lesser-known area that will excite you to your core is your urethral sponge. Your urethra is a little further down from the glands of your clitoris, but it’s actually surrounded by an area of erectile tissue called the urethral sponge.


One or two lubed up fingers are all you need to stimulate your urethral sponge. Use a combination of gentle presses and small circular motions around your urethra to excite and stimulate this sensitive area. The sensations are EXQUISITELY ORGASMIC! Try it and see!

Try anal stroking

Many women have incredible sensitivity in their anus and can have an orgasm just through anal stimulation alone.


Use a lubed up finger and stroke your anus gently in small circles. Experiment with different pressures and speeds until you find your perfect rhythm!

Finger your anus

If you enjoy anal stroking and want to experiment further, anal fingering is a MUST! Your anus is packed full of nerve endings and is ABSOLUTELY BEGGING to be fingered!


You’ll need neatly trimmed nails and PLENTY of lubricant if you want to try fingering! Unlike you’re vagina, your anus isn’t self lubricating.

Reach down behind your lower back and around to your anus. Use a lubed up finger and slowly insert the tip into your anus. Take it slowly at first as your sphincter muscles will take time to relax.

You can TRIPLE the pleasure by gently rubbing your clit at the same time using your other hand!

The best sex toys for fingering

If you follow my tips and techniques, fingering WILL make you orgasm. I PROMISE. However, simply because you’re SUPPOSED to use your fingers to finger yourself, doesn’t mean that toys can’t add even more FUN to the mix!

I want to share with you two INCREDIBLE sex toys that are specially designed to make fingering even more orgasmic! I’ll show you exactly how to use them to MAXIMIZE your pleasure and leave yourself beside yourself with passion!

Latex fingers

These bumpy little wonders feel awesome when you rub them over your clitoris or use them to finger your vagina! Made from soft, supple latex, these awesome finger sleeves come in an astonishing array of colors, sizes, and textures.

Here’s how to use them:

Choose your favorite water-based lubricant and apply liberally to the finger sleeve. Slip it over your index or middle finger and try out your favorite clitoral fingering techniques!

You’ll want to explore slowly at first, giving your body time to adjust to the sensations. As you build confidence, you can try penetrating your vagina for some unique sensations that will feel incredible!

Sex gloves

The second fabulous sex toy I recommend are latex sex gloves! These flexible friends are designed to be used with plenty of water-based lubricant and help add a whole new layer of pleasure to almost ANY fingering technique.

Here’s how to get the most out of them:

Use the textured palm of the gloves to massage your clitoris in small, circular motions. As you adjust to the unique sensations, experiment with penetrating yourself with one of the textured fingers. The glove has special bumps and ridges in just the right places to help you touch yourself in ALL the right areas!

Hitting the ‘Big O’

If you began reading this guide thinking that fingering yourself for a few minutes will do the trick, hopefully I’ve dispelled that myth! Fingering yourself CAN feel amazing, but NO-ONE can orgasm at the drop of the hat!

That’s why I wanted to focus on what to do as you approach orgasm. What should you be doing? How should you be doing it? And how can you make the fingering orgasmic?

Here are my top three tips for hitting experiencing a clitoral or G-spot orgasm through fingering.

Build up slowly

None of the techniques in this guide will make you orgasm unless you take the time to turn yourself on, make yourself wet and get psychologically ready. Building your arousal levels gradually and letting yourself relax into the moment is ESSENTIAL if you want to hit the ‘Big O’.

Focus on your breathing

If there’s ONE THING that will transform your entire sex life it would be this: focus on your breathing. While you touch and finger yourself, listen to the sound of your own breath.

Feel the rise and fall of your chest. Notice how you exhale more slowly when you really focus on what you’re doing. Bringing breathing into fingering is a transformative process that will enhance every feeling and sensation that you experience.

Try it!

Don’t switch up positions too often

I’ve covered a TON of awesome positions and techniques in this guide, but that doesn’t mean that you need to use them all!

If you want to climax, I suggest giving yourself time to experiment and then choosing the technique that feels best to you. Focus on how it feels and enjoy the sensations until you orgasm.

When you do orgasm, then what? Well, for a start, don’t pull your fingers out straight away! This can feel painful and can ruin the moment.

Take time to chill out and enjoy the sensations. We all love a nice quickie from time to time, but the post-orgasm bliss should be savored, not skipped!

My advice for winding things down is to spend a few moments quietly reflecting on the experience. Enjoy the fruit of your labor; a clearer mind, a soother soul, and a renewed sense of vigor!

You’ve earned it!


If you were looking for how to finger yourself, hopefully, my ultimate guide has been able to point you in the right direction! From building your arousal levels and getting yourself wet, to teasing, ‘edging’, caressing and fingering – I’ve covered it all.

Fingering yourself is an incredibly personal experience – there’s no right or wrong way. The secret to fingering yourself in the BEST way is something that only YOU can answer. I may be able to point you towards the treasure chests, but only you can find the key to unlock them for yourself.

I KNOW you’ll have fun trying!

Good luck! And let us know if you have any comments or questions below!