5 Expert Sex Tips for Men

5 Expert Sex Tips for Men

Want to get better at sex and be the best lover you can be? If yes, you're in the right place.

Every man should want mind-blowing sex that's not only fulfilling but makes him feel like THE man in the bedroom.

Moreover, every guy should want to give his partner the experience of her life every time they're together.

This no-nonsense guide, created by compiling my years of experience as a sexuality coach onto a single page, will give you tips and tricks to improve your sex life.

In this article, we'll cover:

  • Practical Tips, techniques, and ideas to help you become a better lover
  • Date night ideas to turn up the heat
  • Solutions to common issues such as premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and more

Tip 1: Sexual Self-Assessment

Great sex starts with you. What's odd is this is the step that most guys forget, thinking they need to jump straight into advanced sex positions or foreplay methods that will give her mind-blowing orgasms.

Sure, that's important, too, and we will discuss that down the line.

Still, you cannot have great, memorable sexual experiences if you don't know yourself first. Why?
Understanding your own needs, boundaries, and preferences helps you communicate them to your partner and relate to her needs on a deeper level. 

The better you know yourself sexually, the better you can connect with someone else sexually.

Understanding Your Sexual Behaviour

Take some time to reflect on what turns you on, what makes you feel comfortable, and what you're willing to explore in the bedroom.

Ask yourself the following questions.

  • What stories were you taught growing up?
  • What was it like the first time you masturbated?
  • Where do you feel pride regarding your genitals?
  • What’s the worst path your cock has taken you down?
  • What does your cock want your lovers to know?
  • What stories have you created over the years about your own sexuality and body?

Explore The Depth Of Your Sexuality: Mioch Method™

The Mioch Method™ encourages you to do an active sexual meditation exploring your sexual desires, and fantasies, helping you understand and embrace your sexual identity more fully.

If you are curious to learn more comment "Mioch Method" underneath the article and I will share more.

Tip 2: Must Know Practical Techniques To Improve Sexual Experiences

Once you understand yourself, you can better focus on your partner's needs using these 11 techniques.

#1 - Foreplay

Spend time warming her up with foreplay. This builds anticipation and makes sex more enjoyable.

Focus on her entire body and create the right mood for sex by getting candles and good music. 

#2 - Kissing

Don’t underestimate the power of a good kiss.

A kiss is usually a great indicator of how the rest of the experience will go.

Kiss her passionately, firmly, and deeply.

Match her rhythm and synchronize your breath.

#3 - Sex Positions

Experiment with different positions to find what works by hitting different angles and keeping things exciting.

#4 - Oral Sex

Give as much attention to giving as you do to receiving.

Learn what she likes and take your time. 

#5 - Pussy Massage

Massaging that area increases blood flow and as a result, arousal.

A pussy massage isn't hard but it does take practice.

You can learn how to give a proper pussy massage

#6 - Squirting

Most women can squirt with the right stimulation.

Focus on the G-spot and use firm, rhythmic motions.

If you like to dive deeper into the secrets of squirting orgasms, we got you covered: Squirting Triggers.

#7 - Anal Sex

This can be highly pleasurable if done right.

Start with a booty massage, try rimming, and add toys gradually to the mix.

Always use plenty of water-based lubricants, go slow, and talk throughout. 

#8 - Rough Sex

With consent, rough sex can lead to mind-blowing sex.

Choking, hair pulling, and other rough activities give women a sense of freedom from having to think about what comes next.

Instead, she can relax and give in to sexual pleasure.

#9 - Toys

Using sex toys adds variety.

Not only that, but most women orgasm easily with the help of vibrators, dildos, wands, or clit suckers. 

#10 - Role-Play

Spice things up by acting out fantasies.

Pretend to be a nurse/doctor, teacher/student, or boss/employee.

Find something that excites you both and give it a try. 

#11 - Aftercare

After sexual intercourse, take time to cuddle, get a snack, hydrate, and talk.

Aftercare makes sure she feels cared for and valued.

Tip 3: Actionable Steps To Overcome Sexual Challenges

Men face various challenges that affect their confidence and performance, from E.D. to losing the spark in a relationship.

These steps will address those issues so you can focus on having fun instead.

Erectile Dysfunction

Not getting it up can be frustrating and embarrassing, but it's a common issue.

It can be caused by stress, anxiety, or health problems.

What To Do

  • Reduce stress
  • Exercise regularly
  • Eat a healthy diet
  • Talk to a doctor

Premature Ejaculation

Cumming too quickly can leave both you and her feeling unsatisfied.

In addition, many men feel embarrassed about losing control. It often happens due to anxiety or lack of control.

What To Do

  • Try deep breathing
  • Use the start-stop method
  • Try thicker condoms
  • Focus on foreplay instead of penetrative sex.

Delayed Ejaculation

Not being able to cum, even when you want to, can also be a point of frustration.

What To Do

  • Relax and reduce stress
  • Experiment with different positions

She Is Not Getting Wet

When she’s not getting wet, it makes sex uncomfortable, especially for her.

Women sometimes do not get wet. It happens, and sometimes it has nothing to do with you. However, if it does happen, try this. 

What To Do

  • Add more foreplay
  • Use lubricant
  • Find the root of the problem (medical issues, relationship problems, not enough foreplay, etc.)

She Doesn’t Come

When she doesn't come, it can be disappointing for both of you.

She might feel embarrassed or awkward because of the misconception that an orgasm = great sex.

Although it's not true, this puts a lot of pressure on you both. 

What To Do

  • Add more foreplay
  • Ask her what she likes
  • Try different techniques
  • Be patient and attentive
  • Don't judge or pressure her to cum 

We Lost The Spark

Losing the spark in your relationship can make sex feel routine or boring.

Typically, when the spark goes out the door, great sex flies out the window.

Rekindling that spark takes and finding your way back to a healthy sex life effort from both partners.

What To Do

  • Plan date nights
  • Try new activities
  • Spend time talking about your sex life

Tip 4: Andrew’s Expert Insights to Enhance And Deepen Intimacy

Men should focus on building deeper connections with their partners.

It's not just about being close to her physically but also about emotional and mental bonding

If you feel like your relationship is lacking in one of these areas, you might want to try one or more of these methods. 

I. Communication

Good communication is the foundation of any strong relationship. It helps you understand each other’s needs.

Be honest and clear. Avoid assumptions, and ask questions if you’re unsure about something.

Ongoing dialogue can help prevent misunderstandings and bring you closer together.

II. Start Outside The Bedroom

Build intimacy long before getting to the bedroom.

Take care of yourself by exercising, eating, and grooming regularly. This shows you care about your appearance and health.

Spend time with her doing things you enjoy, like walking, cooking together, or watching movies.

Building a strong emotional and mental connection outside the bedroom leads to better experiences inside.

Connect with her on a deeper level, and you'll see the difference in your intimate moments.

III. Breath - Sound - Movement - Vocal Expression

Focus on breath, sound, movement, and vocal expression to make sex more enjoyable.

Breathe deeply and match her rhythm. This syncs you up and creates a strong bond. 

Use sounds to enhance sexual pleasure and excitement, as well as to show just how much you're enjoying your time with her. Don't be shy; let her hear you.

Move with purpose and pay attention to her reactions. Adjust as needed to keep her in the moment with you. 

Vocal expressions add to the mood and make everything more intense.

Being present and expressive can make a huge difference in your intimate moments.

IV. Perfect Day

This exercise can bring you closer together and help you better understand each other’s needs.

Here’s how to do the "Perfect Day" exercise with your partner.

  1. 1
    Find a journal for this task.
  2. 2
    Describe your perfect sexual day from start to finish, including what you’d do both inside and outside the bedroom. Focus on your own wants. This is about you.
  3. 3
    Write down all your sexual fantasies and desires, even those you've never shared before. This is your chance to think about your perfect sexual day.
  4. 4
    Feel free to get as detailed and bold as you like. Treat this as a safe space to explore what you really want.
  5. 5
    Ask your partner to write their own perfect day.
  6. 6
    After you write everything, read it out loud to your partner and talk about it.
  7. 7
    Take turns reading your writings out loud. Focus on understanding each other, not on whether you like the same things.
  8. 8
    Talk about it. Based on what you both shared, this might help you discover new ways to enjoy time together.

V. Seven Nights Of Sin

If you need inspiration or a way to incorporate the tips above into a practical, fun evening, try the Seven Nights of Sin couple’s exercise. 

Warning! You might be superhuman if you both make it to the end of the week.

Night 1: The Suited Gentleman

Dress to the nines, allowing her to wear that beautiful dress buried in the back of her closet.

You, too, must wear your best clothing and bring your partner out for a night on the town.

Go to the bar, an expensive restaurant, and finish the evening in a fancy hotel room.

Night 2: Nature

If you live near nature, you’re already halfway to fiking with your partner.

Fiking, as in fucking + hiking, involves going out in nature and having sex under the moonlight while camping.

Near a waterfall, in a beautiful flower-covered valley, or anywhere else that is scenic and far away from the crowds of suburbia and the city.

Night 3: Five Senses

Here, you shall stimulate the five senses in an evening of pleasure.

  • Hearing: Play her favorite music
  • Smell: Light her favorite candles
  • Sight: Give her something sexy or beautiful to look at
  • Touch: Scratch, tease, bite, or whatever touch she enjoys
  • Taste: Feed her something delicious like chocolate

Afterward, it’s only fair if she does the same to you.

Night 4: Sensual Massage

You don’t need to be a masterful physical therapist to give an amazing, sensual, and erotic massage.

If you have the training, feel free to use your skills with your partner; if not, don’t be too harsh with yourself.

Grab high-quality coconut (cooling) or sesame oil (warming), and slide it up and down her body while she lies naked on something soft and comfortable.

Night 5: Fantasy

The goal of the fifth evening is to live out your wildest or darkest fantasy with your partner. 

Here it comes in handy, if you both have done the SQL Perfect Day Exercise mentioned above. 

Might we suggest inviting her to wear makeup and her sexiest lingerie, booking a hotel room, and asking her to wait patiently for you?

Night 6: Master Chef

Put on your chef’s hat and prepare to get busy in the kitchen — Cooking, we mean. What did you have in mind?

Prepare a fine meal of aphrodisiac food such as oysters and prawn salad with leafy greens, and finish with strawberries covered in chocolate.

Night 7: Surprise

The surprise is that the seventh day is a rest day.

Spend the day cuddling and discussing your experience throughout the six days of sin. 

A Woman's Perspective.. 

On Increasing HER Pleasure
from Isabel

Tip 5: Do’s & Don’ts Inside The Bedroom

Being a woman, and sexuality coach I am well equipped to provide you with some insights on how to increase HER pleasure. 

Why you should listen? Understanding how a woman thinks will give you a more nuanced understanding of how to be a better lover for your girlfriend, wife or lover. 

I. Understand Her Anatomy & Cycle

Knowing a woman’s body and how her cycle affects her can make a big difference. Different phases of her cycle can change her sensitivity and how much she wants sex.

For example, during ovulation, she might be hornier than normal. This is because her body is preparing for potential pregnancy, so her libido naturally increases.

On the other hand, during menstruation, she might be more sensitive and uncomfortable.

Therefore, knowing where she is in her cycle (or having at least a small idea) can help you predict how she might respond to you and your touch. 


Ask her how she's feeling.

Become familiar with her cycle by paying attention.


Don’t assume she feels the same every day.

Don’t ignore her comfort or pain signals.

Don’t rush foreplay.

II. Presence Over Performance

For any woman, presence matters. It does not matter the nature of your relationship, its length, her age, or anything of the sort — presence is more important than performance.

What's presence?

Presence means you are there, mentally and physically. It's a lot harder than it sounds. Trust me, the number of clients I've spoken to who were so focused on making her orgasm that they were experiencing sex 100% in their head (and not in their body!) is a very large percentage of our clients. 

Why is presence important?

Women appreciate partners who are mentally and emotionally there with them, responding to their cues, and above all, looking like their interested and invested in the experience as much as she is.


Focus on her body, expressions, and voice.

Make eye contact.

Give her lots of affectionate touches. 


Don’t worry about lasting longer.

Don’t compare yourself or porn. 

Don’t be distracted or distant.

III. Sex Isn’t All About PIV

Penetration isn’t the only way to give pleasure. Many women enjoy other types of sexual activities just as much, if not more. 

When a man focuses solely on penetration, it can leave her wanting more for a few reasons;

  • Most women don't orgasm with penetration.
  • Most women need at least 20 minutes of foreplay, so rushing into penetration might mean she's not ready yet. 
  • Many women need oral sex, massages, or other forms of sensuality to feel like its a "complete" experience. 

For the above reasons and more, a man shouldn't focus only on PIV (penis in vagina).


Spend time on foreplay (kissing, touching, massaging)

Touch different erogenous zones, not just her clitoris.


Don’t rush straight to penetration.

Don’t neglect her entire body by focusing only on her vagina or clitoris.

Don’t assume penetration is always the main event.

IV. Sexual Leadership

Taking charge in bed is very attractive and exciting for many women. 

A man who knows how to take charge in the bedroom shows not only that he respects and cares about himself, but that he cares enough about his partner to guide her, so that she can relax and enjoy the experience.


Take the lead by holding her, guiding her body, and initiating sex.

Show confidence and assertiveness.


Don’t be afraid to take control.

Don’t rely on her to make the first moves.

Don’t be passive or indecisive.

V. Worship Her Whole Body

When a man takes the time to really get to know his partner's body, it's a turn-on. A woman is more than her breasts and clit. 

In addition, every woman has unique turn-ons. Pay attention to her whole body and what she enjoys.


Pay attention to her reactions and adjust depending on how she responds.

Make her feel appreciated and loved.


Don’t go straight for the clit every time.

Don’t judge or make negative comments about her body.

Don’t assume what worked for someone else will work for her.

VI. Stop Being A Nice Guy With No Backbone

Never mistreat your partner; that's not what it means to stop being a "nice guy."

In this sense, a "nice guy" is a pushover without boundaries who lets the woman make all the decisions and never stands up for himself.

No one enjoys people pleasers and those who lack boundaries. This is true across the board for men and women alike. 

Although she enjoys a kind and caring man, he should still be strong and have boundaries for himself.


Talk about what you want in a polite but firm manner.

Be honest, even if it’s hard.

Make it clear what is acceptable and not acceptable in the relationship.


Don’t people-pleaser to avoid conflict.

Don’t hide your true feelings.

Don’t avoid saying what you really want.

Frequently Asked Questions

As a sex coach, I get asked to share sex tips for men on a regular basis. Here are your most pressing questions and my answers:

I called my partner by the wrong name during sex. What can I do?

Stay calm and apologize right away. Explain that it was a slip of the tongue and nothing more. Make sure you give her loads of reassurance. Afterward, listen to her feelings and take responsibility for the mistake.

What is the ideal size?

The ideal size varies for everyone, but most women care more about connection and technique than size. Focus on what you do rather than how you look. 

Shall I warn her before I come?

A sexy way to build anticipation is to count down from 3 to 1 and then ejaculate on 1. This gives her a warning and shows the level of control you have over your body.

Do women enjoy a second or third round?

Yes, many women do like multiple rounds of sex, especially when it's with a partner that's good in bed. Just make sure you check- in and make sure she really wants to go a second, third, or more rounds and isn't just going along with it out of pressure or a feeling of obligation to make you feel good. 

Is it normal for sexual desire to fluctuate for men?

Yes, it's completely normal for nearly everything to change over time. Stress, health, and other factors all affect libido. Just make sure she knows what's going on, so there are no misunderstandings. 

Is watching porn cheating?

Whether watching porn is cheating depends on the boundaries set in your relationship. Some couples are fine with it. Others are not. 

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Andrew Mioch

Andrew Mioch is one of the world’s leading sex coaches and best-selling author after spending 10 years learning from experts all over the world.

Currently pursuing his Master’s Degree in Sexology, Andrew has personally coached over 5,000 men. His expertise is regularly sought in publications such as Men's Health, Medium, and Cosmopolitan Magazine.

These days, Andy spends most of his time coaching clients privately and also through SQL’s online Mastery Academy.

Disclosure: Our content is reader-supported. This means if you click on some of our links, then we may earn a commission. We only recommend products that we believe will add value to our readers.

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