This guide is for those looking to shift from a "nice guy" to a seductive and sexy dominant lover.
Exploring rough play doesn’t mean diving straight into BDSM. For those interested in it, check out "Erotic Spanking" and "BDSM Ideas."
Ready to step up your game, allow your wild side to come out and discover techniques that will leave her wanting more? Well, then, let's dive in...
In this article, we'll cover:
Start with Yourself: Embrace Your Savage Side
Embracing your savage side means tapping into your primal instincts related to dominance in rough sex. Begin with a straightforward self-assessment:
Doing so ensures you know your wants and needs and can communicate them effectively with someone else.
I. Express Yourself Fully
To fully tap into your savage side, focus on using your breath, sound, movement, and vocal expressions:
II. Take the Lead
Taking the lead means directing the action.
It also includes planning a date night where she can relax fully.
Leading is about controlling the situation subtly. This approach helps you introduce rougher sex smoothly later on while building sexual tension.
III. Work On Your Body Language
Use confident body language in rough sex.
Stand tall and move decisively.
Firm grips and clear actions show control.
Staying fit improves stamina and presence, making it easier to lead effectively.
IV. Focus On Tonality & Voice
Speak with a firm tone and be clear about what you want.
Allow pauses, and embrace silence to build sexual tension.
How to Get Her into the Mood - Practical Examples
Rough sex is better when you take the time to build up the mood. Here are some practical examples to get her in the right headspace.
Example #1 - Plan A Wrestle Date
My favorite approach is setting up a wrestling date.
This activity is fun and physical, building anticipation and excitement that seamlessly transitions into rough sex.
Example #2 - Push Her Gently Against The Wall
Grab her wrists and pin them over her head while pushing her against a wall.
Maintain eye contact and, in a teasing tone, say, "You have no idea what I am going to do to you later."
This direct and dominant action can quickly get things moving in the right direction.
Example #3 - Do The Caveman
The 'caveman' method involves picking her up and gently placing her on the bed, then immediately pinning her down.
This assertive and spontaneous behavior can be a huge turn-on for many women.
11 Physical Techniques to be Rougher in Bed
Each method has its own unique appeal, experiment with different techniques to find the best for you and your partner.
Technique #1 - Firm Touch
A firm touch means applying more pressure than usual during your caresses and grips. This conveys confidence and a sense of control.
Start gently and increase the intensity based on her feedback to ensure she's comfortable.
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Technique #2 - Hair Pulling
To control head movement subtly, gently grasp a handful of hair near the roots.
Do not pull too hard or suddenly. Adjust the strength of your grip based on her reactions.
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Technique #3 - Choking
Choking should be performed by placing your hand lightly on her throat without applying significant pressure.
Get consent before and never impede breathing.
Start slow and increase gently, assuring her safety.
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Technique #4 - Pinching
Apply a quick, small squeeze to sensitive areas like the nipples or thighs to stimulate her.
Begin with mild pressure and be ready to adjust based on her reactions.
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Technique #5 - Scratching
Dragging your nails lightly across her skin, particularly along her back or thighs, can make sex better and more exciting.
Ensure your nails are not too long or sharp to prevent skin breaking.
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Technique #6 - Slapping
A controlled slap to areas like the buttocks or thighs can be very kinky.
Some women even agree on light slaps on their cheeks.
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Technique #7 - Spanking
Spanking is smacking the lower, fleshy part of her buttocks with an open hand.
Target the safest areas and adjust the force based on her feedback.
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Technique #8 - Spitting
Spitting should be approached with clear communication beforehand and target less intimate areas like the stomach or chest.
If previously agreed upon, more advanced areas include spitting in her mouth or on her face.
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Technique #9 - Biting
Gently bite her in less sensitive areas like the neck, earlobes, or nipples.
Start softly and only increase the intensity with her clear enjoyment.
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Technique #10 - Manhandling
Manhandling involves using your strength to lift, move, or position her. Be creative here, and show her how strong you are.
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Technique #11 - Thrusting
When it comes to being rough in bed, the way you thrust can change up the entire dynamic.
Whether you are thrusting hard and fast or deep and slow will make a huge difference in your experience, both can feel very animalistic and primal.
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Balancing Pleasure and Pain
Mild pain is a great way to bring a little bit of rough sex into the bedroom.
My go-to technique for mild pain is spanking.
With just the right amount of force, I can get her heart racing while still keeping things playful and fun.
Another option is to incorporate blindfolds, other sensory deprivation toys, or any of the tools mentioned above for even more intense pleasure.
Andrew's Proven Tips for Advanced Rough Play
After years of practice and learning from various other professionals worldwide about BDSM, masculinity principles, sexuality, male and female dynamics, and so much more, I've been working with 1,000s of clients on improving their skills inside and outside the bedroom for more than a decade now.
Here are my best tips for better rough sex.
When rough playing, get feedback.
Take breaks to ensure your partner is comfortable with the activities and to discuss any concerns or discomfort.
Clear communication during these moments is crucial for ensuring both partners are on the same page.
Doggy style is perfect for rough sex.
It lets you go deep and gives you control over the speed and intensity.
Have her get on all fours and enter her from behind.
This position also lets you easily reach her clitoris, so you can stimulate multiple spots at once.
You can switch up the pace and depth to keep things exciting.
Plus, you can reach around to play with her breasts, adding even more pleasure.
Adding toys and props can help you enjoy rougher sex. Choose any of the following props;
Sex Toys, likewise, are a good choice. My favorites include;
Make sure to opt for a high-quality toy and have some lube ready to ensure safety.
Role-playing spices up rough sex by allowing you to adopt different characters and scenarios.
You could act as a strict police officer and your partner as a rule-breaking criminal.
Alternatively, she could be a secretary who hasn't followed instructions.
This approach helps you explore new fantasies safely and without judgment.
It also establishes clear boundaries and expectations from the start.
After rough play, care for each other's emotional and physical state.
Especially after a rough session, aftercare is a must to ensure both of you feel safe, seen and connected.
A Woman's Perspective...
On Rough Sex
Many women enjoy rough sex for the intense desire and assertiveness it brings out in their partners and themselves.
While a lot of women fantasize about being ravished and manhandled, some feel it is wrong to ask for it or to express even rougher fantasies like consensual rape scenarios.
The desire to be passionately pursued makes rough play so tempting. It can allow women to explore deep-seated desires and experience a strong, engulfing passion, leaving them feeling highly liberated and ecstatic.
It's important to understand that true dominance in rough sex scenarios comes from a place of love, not rage or aggression—a common misunderstanding when talking about rough bedroom activities.
Frequently Asked Questions
As a sex and relationship coach, I often get asked about intimacy and sex. These are a few hot questions you might have regarding rough sex.
Always best to chat about it first to make sure everyone's on the same page.
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