The Best Ways To Learn How To Cum Every Time: A Practical Guide

  • Home
  • Blog
  • The Best Ways To Learn How To Cum Every Time: A Practical Guide

The Best Ways To Learn How To Cum Every Time: A Practical Guide

Marco, lying back with eyes closed, moaning in bliss, portraying how to cum.
Table of Contents
Heading 2 Example
Heading 2 Example

Hey man, listen. If you’re here, it means you’re done with “meh” orgasms, or worse, not finishing at all. The frustration? The pressure? The constant overthinking? Yeah, it sucks.

And you're not alone—studies show that about 5% to 10% of men report moderate to severe difficulty reaching orgasm during sex.

But here’s the thing: you’re not doomed to boring, half-assed finishes. You just need to know what actually works.

In this article, we'll cover:

  • Why you’re not cumming—and what to do about it
  • How to actually finish without overthinking the whole thing
  • Ways to cum harder, more often, and actually enjoy it more

How To Cum During Partnered Sex (Because Teamwork Makes The Dream Work)

Marco letting go and cumming during deeply connecting partnered sex with Ivy.

Partnered sex is a whole different game from solo play — it’s about syncing rhythms, catching cues, and feeling the emotions. While sex with a lover can be electric, focusing too much on performance can make orgasms harder to reach.

Understanding how your body responds, communicating openly, and using a little dirty talk can make things seriously good. When you stop overthinking and tune into touch, rhythm, and the moment, stronger orgasms become the norm.

Here are some tips to enhance your partnered experiences, making them more pleasurable and fulfilling.

Tip #1 – Focus On Your Arousal Before Penetration

If you’re diving straight into penetration without slowly building your arousal first, you’re missing out—and making it harder to cum.

Here’s The Deal

Take your time to slowly build excitement before going all in. This could mean foreplay, oral sex, using a sex toy together, or something simple (and hot) like dry grinding with clothes still on until your penis is rock hard.

Focus on building excitement around the vaginal opening, stimulating the clit or even stimulating the G-spot to intensify the experience.

The more turned on you are before entering her, the easier it’ll be to reach orgasm when you want to. Enjoy sex like it’s a full-course meal — not just the main event. Take your time. Build the heat. Get the engine purring.

Tip #2 – Activate & Sync Your Pelvic Areas

Think of this like a feedback loop of pleasure: when both you and your partner engage your bodies at the same time, it builds intensity fast, like pressure rising in a bottle.

Here’s The Deal

  • Ask her to squeeze her pelvic muscles around you as you’re inside her, adding more sensation.
  • Engage your pelvic floor muscles by using the same motion you’d use to stop peeing mid-stream, while inside her in short bursts to build pressure and amplify sensation.
  • Gain more control and intensity, helping you get closer to climax.
Bonus Tip: Combine that with clitoral stimulation. The more turned on she gets, the more turned on you get, the more it feels good.

Tip #3 – Experiment With Positions That Increase Friction & Pressure

Not all positions feel the same — some create way more friction against your penis and tip, while others give you deeper stimulation near your prostate, offering a different sensation.

Switching up your sex positions can increase arousal and make things feel fresh, especially when exploring new fantasies.

Here’s The Deal

  • Missionary with her legs over your shoulders: Maximizes depth and pressure, enhancing pleasure.
  • Cowgirl (her on top, leaning slightly back): Puts direct pressure on your tip and lets her grind, stimulating both your penis and her clitoris.
  • Spooning: Slow, tight, and great for feeling every inch, promoting more intimate pleasure.
  • Standing doggy: Intense if you love the view and want deeper thrusts, heightening the experience.
You might also find that rubbing against her clitoris while inside her adds stimulation for both of you, increasing the chance of a simultaneous orgasm. More pleasure, more chance of an explosive finish.

Tip #4 – Control The Thrusting Speed & Depth For Maximum Stimulation

Going at it like a piston might feel good at first, but it can numb you out before climax.

Here’s The Deal

  • Pulse or grind: Have her move her hips in slow circles or bounce lightly to tease the head of your penis—especially around the entrance of her vagina and the clitoris. Most women find this rhythm helps with reaching orgasm.
  • Pause mid-thrust: When you’re close, stop moving and stay connected for a few seconds. This builds pressure without rushing it. Using a sex toy during the pause can keep arousal high.
  • Edge together: Pull out, take a breath, then go back in slowly. This practice helps you last longer and makes release more intense. Plus, it keeps your sex life exciting.
Training your body to build pressure, not rush it, leads to longer orgasms and better control.

Tip #5 – Sync Your Breathing To Stay In The Pleasure Zone

Your breath is one of your best tools for managing arousal and staying in the sweet spot between almost there and too soon. Breath control can increase arousal and help you stay focused.

Here’s The Deal

  • When you’re close, breathe in slowly through your nose, expand your belly, and exhale gently through your mouth. This helps build longer orgasms.
  • Keep your jaw, neck, and hands relaxed and use your fingers to touch your partner or yourself, keeping both of you aroused.
  • Match your breath to your partner’s movement — it boosts connection and helps control your orgasm. A little talk or whispering can heighten the mood.
Focusing on your breath helps you last longer, and for many women, it leads to more intense, powerful orgasms, bringing them closer to climax.

Cumming during partnered sex isn’t just about hitting the right rhythm—it’s about really tuning in to your body and syncing up with your partner for something way more satisfying. Once you find your flow, you’ll be able to cum on your terms, and maybe even more than once.

Now that you’ve got the basics, let’s take a look at the common mistakes guys make and how to avoid them for a seriously mind-blowing experience.

Common Mistakes That Stop You From Cumming & How To Fix Them

Let’s be real—most guys aren’t taught how to build orgasmic pleasure. We just have to figure it out. Over time, though, habits form that block sensation instead of enhancing it.

Let’s break down the 10 most common mistakes guys make and how to fix them for deeper, stronger orgasms. 

Mistake #1 – Using The Death Grip

You’re squeezing too hard, man. If your grip is tighter than a vice and all your pleasure depends on extreme pressure, you're training your body to expect that exact intensity—and nothing else.

What happens next? Your sex life takes a hit. Partnered sex doesn’t do it for you, and lighter stimulation doesn’t even register.


It’s like your brain and body are locked into one setting, making it harder to reach a satisfying sexual climax.

Marco clenching his hands too tightly around his penis while masturbating.

Solution

  • Break the grip: Start loosening your hand during solo sessions.
  • Use a soft touch: More lube and switch up your technique.
  • Try using your non-dominant hand or just your fingertips: Get your body used to softer sensations and re-sensitize, enjoying more from less.

Mistake #2 – Porn-Induced Numbness

You’re watching too much of that quick-cut, high-speed porn.


Your brain’s getting hooked on all that chaos, needing more intensity just to feel anything. Soon, real sex won’t even move the needle.

Studies have shown that excessive porn use is linked to poorer mental and emotional health, as well as worse cognitive outcomes.

Marco sitting down, watching porn on his laptop and touching himself, trying to feel something.

Solution

  • Take a break: Go 7–14 days (or longer) without porn to reset dopamine levels.
  • Build arousal: Use imagination, fantasy, or erotic audio.
  • Ease back into visuals: Choose slower and more sensual content, or skip visuals altogether.
  • Main goal: Get turned on from the inside out, not from the screen.

Mistake #3 – Ignoring Your Pelvic Floor

Marco lying on his back, focused and breathing deeply while doing Kegels.

Your pelvic floor is your orgasm engine. These are the muscles that contract and pulse when you climax. But if they’re weak or underused, your orgasm won’t have that hard, involuntary kick. Instead, it’ll feel flat and soft.

Solution

Do male Kegels daily. Here’s how:

  • Imagine stopping your pee mid-flow—that’s the muscle.
  • Squeeze and hold for 5 seconds, then relax for 5 seconds.
  • Do 10–15 reps, twice a day.
  • Over time, you’ll build stronger, more controlled contractions, leading to more powerful orgasms.

Bonus: it helps with erection strength, too!

Mistake #4 – Rushing The Build-Up

Marco looks checked out while Ivy tries to engage him, showing how rushing kills the build-up.

You’re rushing toward orgasm like it's a race, huh? Two minutes in, and you're already trying to finish. That quick approach skips the whole pleasure buildup and goes straight to release—but without all that anticipation, the finish just falls flat.

Solution

Mistake #5 – Mental Overload

Your brain is your biggest sex organ.


If it’s stuck on deadlines, distractions, or thinking about how you "should" be feeling, your body won’t fully relax into orgasm.


You can’t cum when you’re in problem-solving mode.

Marco stands with his head in his hands, overwhelmed by stress.

Solution

You need to create some mental space before you start.

  • Set the mood: Low lights, music, and some privacy.
  • Focus on your body: Mindfulness is your secret weapon; the more present you are, the more intense your sexual climax will be.

Mistake #6 – Low Dopamine Levels

Dopamine is your arousal fuel—it’s the “I want this” chemical that cranks up sexual tension. 


But if you’re drained—thanks to porn, bad sleep, junk food, or stress—your libido takes a nosedive, and orgasm feels more like a chore than a pleasure.

Marco has his hands on his face, looking down, struggling with low dopamine levels, making orgasms harder.

Solution

  • Boost your dopamine: Get some sunlight, move your body, and load up on protein-rich foods. Cut back on the artificial stimulation.
  • Try something new: Take a cold shower or do something exciting to fire up your dopamine. When your dopamine’s up, so is your desire—and trust me, your orgasm will follow

Mistake #7 – Poor Blood Flow

Flaccid penis caused by poor circulation, leading to weaker erections and orgasms.

You need strong blood flow to get a strong erection, and it’s also what powers your orgasm. If your circulation’s sluggish, things start to feel dull—erections soften, and orgasms just aren’t as intense.

Solution

Alright, listen up. You’ve gotta move every day. Cardio (like walking or jogging) and strength training will get that blood pumping.

Toss in some nitric oxide-boosting foods—stuff like beets, leafy greens, and dark chocolate. And don’t forget to stay hydrated. You want that blood rushing to all the right places, trust me.

Mistake #8 – Masturbating Too Mechanically

If your sessions are all technique and no feeling, your body’s basically checking out. Mechanical masturbation—same hand, same moves, same setting—turns your pleasure down to zero and can even lead to delayed ejaculation.


Not exactly a win, right?

Marco stands, stroking himself too mechanically, his movements are detached and lacking rhythm.

Solution

Make masturbation sensual, not just physical.

  • Slow down: Breathe like you’re not in a rush, and switch up those strokes.
  • Experiment with different things: Play with temperature, texture, or even throw in some edging tools for fun.
  • Pay attention to your whole body, not just your junk: Pleasure should feel immersive, not like you're on autopilot. Trust me, it’ll be way more fun.

Mistake #9 – Weak Nerve Sensitivity

Side-by-side comparison of a flaccid and erect penis, highlighting the difference in nerve sensitivity.

Rough masturbation, overstimulation, or aging can mess with your nerve sensitivity. You might still finish, but it’s not the same—the fireworks turn into a sparkler at best.

Solution

  • Ease up on the pressure and start reawakening those sensations.
  • Take a break from all the intense stuff—no more vibrators or death grips for a while.
  • Try a sensual massage, feather-light touches, or even temperature play to get your nerves back in the game.

It’s like retraining your body to feel again. The payoff? Worth it!

Mistake #10 – Disrupted Hormone Balance

If your testosterone is low or your stress hormone (cortisol) is through the roof, your sex drive, arousal, and climax are all gonna take a hit.


You’ll feel “off,” sluggish, and disconnected during sex, and getting to climax might feel like climbing Mount Everest.

Marco, showing weight gain around his midsection, a result of low testosterone and high cortisol levels.

Solution

Get your testosterone level right naturally by:

  • Prioritizing deep sleep
  • Cutting back on processed foods
  • Lifting heavy weights

And if needed, get your testosterone levels checked. For stress, try breathwork, meditation, or just spend time in nature.

Look—none of this means you’re broken. It just means your pleasure system has picked up some bad habits over time. The best part? Every one of these mistakes is totally reversible.

Start by picking one or two habits to change. Give your body time to adapt. Treat solo sex like a practice, not a performance—and you’ll start feeling stronger, fuller orgasms than you thought were even possible.

Your body knows how to cum hard—you just have to get out of its way. Now, let’s explore some expert tips to help you take things to the next level.

Andrew’s Expert Advice On How To Cum Harder, How To Cum More & How To Cum Faster

Marco lying on his back, cumming and shooting loads, looking completely satisfied.

So maybe you’re already able to orgasm with a partner, but you want more intensity, more volume, or a quicker path to the finish line. Totally valid. And you don’t need weird pills, magic supplements, or 3-hour edging marathons to get there.

Your orgasm is a trainable response, and with a few targeted adjustments, you can unlock the kind of climax that makes your whole body light up. Let’s break it down:

How To Cum Hard?

You want an orgasm that’ll rock your whole body, not some half-assed finish, right? Here’s how to make sure it hits so hard it leaves you shaking.

  • Build More Arousal Beforehand
    Tease yourself before diving in—use your hands, mouth, dirty talk, slow strokes. Make foreplay a priority, whether it’s solo or with a partner.
  • Tense + Release
    Big, strong orgasms come from full-body tension. Try flexing your pelvic floor right as you’re about to explode—then let go completely. That contrast between tension and release will intensify everything.
  • Use Sound + Breath
    Moaning or exhaling during climax isn’t just sexy—it’s crucial. Let your breath and sound be a release valve. The more space you give to your pleasure, the harder the release.
  • Let Go Mentally
    The best orgasms happen when your brain completely surrenders. Let your mind go wild and just feel.

How To Cum More?

A bigger load isn’t just for porn aesthetics — it feels damn good and can bring a more intense release. Want to increase your volume? Here’s how:

  • Hydrate Like Crazy
    Semen is mostly water. If you’re dehydrated, you’re basically shooting blanks. Drink more fluids throughout the day, especially water and electrolytes.
  • Zinc + Lecithin
    These two are the heavy-hitters when it comes to ejaculate volume. You can get them from food (eggs, oysters, nuts) or supplements. Don’t megadose — just support your system.
  • Space It Out
    If you're cumming five times a day, your load’s gonna be tiny. Give your body some recovery time, even just 24-48 hours can make a big difference.
  • Edge Before Release
    Let your arousal build right up to the edge a few times, then finally let go. The longer the buildup, the more intense the release, and the bigger the load.

How To Cum Faster?

Sometimes you’re on a tight clock, or maybe your partner’s already done and it’s your turn, but your body’s taking its sweet time. Don’t sweat it. Here’s how to speed things up without feeling like you're racing:

  • Stimulate Your Most Sensitive Areas
    Don’t just rely on thrusting. Get your hands involved, try some clit-on-dick grinding, make some serious eye contact—whatever gets you hot and bothered. Use your go-to masturbation moves if needed.
  • Get Your Mind Involved
    If you are with your partner, have them say something extra dirty or describe exactly what they want to do to you—let their words drive you wild.
  • Use a Rhythm That Feels Familiar
    Got a stroke or pace that always gets you off when you’re by yourself? Bring that into the mix during sex. Your body knows what it likes—don’t fight it.
  • Let Yourself Be Selfish (Just a Little)
    If you’re always focused on pleasing your partner, you might be blocking your own release. Take the damn spotlight for once, enjoy it, and let yourself go.

Your orgasm isn’t just a reflex—it’s a skill that can be developed. Cumming isn’t some random lucky break; it’s the result of a mix of physical, mental, and emotional factors coming together. The same goes for satisfying sexual intercourse, it’s all about creating a connection and finding that balance.

If you want stronger, faster, more intense orgasms, think of it like training for better fitness. It takes effort and a little patience, and yeah, probably a few awkward questions. Totally normal!

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are the answers to the stuff you’ve probably wondered… but never dared to Google.

How can I last longer in bed?

Focus on edging, breath control, and strengthening your pelvic floor. Practice delaying orgasm during solo sessions. Improving your endurance can make your sexual experiences more satisfying and increase the chances of a simultaneous orgasm with your partner.

Why do I sometimes feel the urge to cum but can’t finish?

This usually comes from mental tension, porn desensitization, or nervous system overload. Try removing distractions, going slower, and giving your body more time to build genuine arousal, to reset your body’s response, and enhance your sexual experiences.

Can certain foods or supplements help me orgasm better?

Yes. Look for foods rich in zinc, magnesium, and antioxidants—pumpkin seeds, leafy greens, cacao, and Brazil nuts. Supplements like maca root and L-citrulline may help boost blood flow and libido.

Does the way I breathe during sex affect my orgasm?

Absolutely. Shallow breathing keeps you in your head. Deep, slow, belly breaths anchor you in your body and increase the intensity of orgasm. Try inhaling on stimulation, and exhaling on strokes.

Can strengthening my pelvic muscles make my orgasm more intense?

Yes! A strong pelvic floor increases the strength and duration of your orgasm. Do Reverse Kegels consistently (see earlier section), and you'll feel the difference in weeks.

Why does orgasm feel different depending on the position?

Because different positions change pressure, angle, and muscle tension—which all affect sensation. Plus, some angles are better suited for achieving a simultaneous orgasm with your partner, making your sexual experiences even more satisfying.

Ready to take your skills to the next level? Join our exclusive online course “Squirting Triggers” and gain more tips, in-depth knowledge with expert guidance, easy-to-follow step-by-step explanations, live demonstrations, and two female perspectives. Don’t just read about it – master it! Enroll today and start transforming your life. Get started Now!

CVR Blog - Single

Andrew Mioch

Share 0
Share 0
Share 0

Andrew Mioch is a certified sexologist and one of the world’s leading sex coaches and best-selling author after spending 10 years learning from experts all over the world.

Andrew has personally coached over 5,000 men. His expertise is regularly sought in publications such as Men's Health, Medium, and Cosmopolitan Magazine.

These days, Andrew spends most of his time coaching clients privately and also through SQL’s online Mastery Academy.

Disclosure: Our content is reader-supported. This means if you click on some of our links, then we may earn a commission. We only recommend products that we believe will add value to our readers.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

MORE LESSONS LIKE THIS

Lessons

How To Communicate Better In A Relationship — What Every Man Needs To Know To Avoid Blowups & Fights

How To Communicate Better In A Relationship — What Every Man Needs To Know To Avoid Blowups & Fights

Lessons

How To Masturbate The Right Way—7 Expert Tips For Hotter, Healthier, More Pleasurable Solo Sex

How To Masturbate The Right Way—7 Expert Tips For Hotter, Healthier, More Pleasurable Solo Sex

Lessons

Does Edging Increase Testosterone? Yes—But Here’s What Really Happens To Your T-Levels

Does Edging Increase Testosterone? Yes—But Here’s What Really Happens To Your T-Levels
See all lessons