The Top Secrets to Mastering Eye Contact During Sex

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The Top Secrets to Mastering Eye Contact During Sex

St. Augustine was right—the eyes are a soul's window. Looking into your partner's eyes deepens intimacy and understanding.

This simple act of eye contact can turn your sex life from good to amazing (extraordinary even)!

Whether you're looking to connect on a deeper level or appreciate the power of eye contact, you've come to the right place.

In this article, we'll cover:

  • The benefits of eye contact during sex
  • Practical tips to add more eye contact and increase pleasure
  • Male and female expert advice on overcoming the awkwardness of holding eye contact

The Benefits of Eye Contact During Sex

Stealing a glance at your partner's eyes mid-kiss or during a playful touch can send shivers down her spine and create a more emotionally charged experience.

Aside from that, there are several amazing benefits of eye contact;

Eye Contact

  • Builds trust, fosters connection, and enhances physical intimacy
  • Increase feelings of excitement and anticipation
  • Boost sexual arousal making the experience more meaningful
  • Leads to more intense orgasms, making sex more satisfying
  • Helps partners stay present and focused
  • Shows interest and expresses emotions clearly (which people prefer in honest communication)

Eye contact can even improve self-esteem and mental health by reducing isolation, thanks to the deeper level of connection you sense when eye gazing.

5 Practical Tips To Enhance Pleasure Through Eye Contact

Using more eye contact may seem challenging at first, but with a few techniques, you can make it a natural part of sex.

Think of all the benefits (listed above!) you'll reap by following these tips! 

Tip #1 - Introduce Eye Contact During Sex

Forget fumbling for the lights; spark something deeper.

Eye contact during sex makes a huge difference, taking your intimacy from good to whoa (in the best way possible).

Here's how to make it work for you and the person you're with:

Take Action

  • Start Slow
    Begin with brief eye contact, practice during foreplay and gradually increase the duration of eye contact while looking away naturally from time to time.  
  • Graduate to Deeper Connection
    During a particularly stimulating moment, look into your partner's eyes for a few seconds. Notice how her pupils dilate (a natural arousal response) and the intensity builds.
  • Experiment
    Try different eye contact lengths. Sometimes a fleeting glance can be incredibly impactful, while other times a more sustained look can deepen the experience.

Remember

  • Don't force it. If eye contact feels weird or unnatural, ease back and try again later. Let it flow naturally to maintain the moment's authenticity.
  • Talk to your partner about your interest in incorporating eye contact. Discuss what feels comfortable for both of you.

Tip #2 - Communicate Your Desire Through The Eyes

Words are great, but eyes speak volumes!

Did you know two minutes of gazing can spark a major connection? Communicating desire through eye contact means using your eyes to express your feelings.

Here's how to communicate your desire using eye contact during sex.

Take Action

  • Look into your partner's eyes with love. This helps build intimacy and a deeper emotional connection.
  • Look away briefly at parts of her body you find attractive and then back to her face. This subtle move can be surprisingly sexy and show your appreciation.
  • Smile, and ensure your eye contact does not look too serious. This can make the moment more lighthearted and enjoyable.
  • Incorporate gentle touches, like brushing her hair back or softly caressing her face, to enhance the connection.
  • During kissing, pause to lock eyes, emphasizing the importance of the moment.
  • Use eye contact to express your enjoyment and communicate how much you are into the experience. This can help release tension and build anticipation.

Tip #3 - Synchronize Your Breathing While Gazing

Synchronizing your breathing while staring into each other's eyes means matching your breath with your partner’s while maintaining eye contact.

Studies show that when partners synchronize their breathing and heartbeats, it can enhance their emotional connection and even reduce pain—who knew breathing together could be so powerful?

It’s a simple trick to make your moments together feel more connected and intimate.

Tip #4 - Use Words Of Affirmation During Eye Contact

Using words of affirmation during eye contact means speaking kind words while looking into your partner’s eyes.

The benefits of this are it makes your partner feel valued and loved. 

Take Action

  • Maintain eye contact while speaking.
  • Use positive words to talk about all the things you love about her
  • Whisper sweet nothings into her ear at random moments 
  • Caress and softly touch her spots while speaking 

Tip #5 - Experiment With Sex Positions for Better Eye Contact

It's hard to look into her eyes if you can't see them. Go for positions that naturally put you at eye level.

This could mean shifting your feet or height a bit so that you're at her level or having one of you sit while the other stands.

And, of course, during sex, face each other. 

Top 3 Must-Try Sex Positions For Perfect Eye Contact

Some sex positions are just better than others for eye contact during sex. In that case, these are the top three recommended positions that I teach to all my clients. 

Position #1 - Missionary

Marco and Ivy having sex in missionary position while lovingly holding eye contact.

Who says missionary is old school? Throw in some intense eye contact, and you've got a recipe for spicing up your intimate moments.

There's no shortage of eye contact and skin-on-skin action.

Lie on top of her, support your weight on your elbows or forearms, align your bodies for close, intimate contact, and maintain a deep, connecting look.

It's the perfect way to turn a classic into a sizzling connection.

Position #2 - Cowgirl

Ivy and Marco in Cowgirl with Eye contact

Cowgirl puts your partner in control, letting her call the shots while you both keep that steamy eye contact.

Here’s the deal: you lie back, she straddles you, facing you, and moves at her own rhythm.

Your job? Enjoy the ride, place your hands on her hips or thighs, and keep that intense eye contact.

Position #3 - Yab Yum

Yab Yum is a seated position that's a hit with the tantric crowd (and for good reason).

To try it, sit cross-legged and face each other, with her sitting on your lap and wrapping her legs around your back.

Hold each other close, maintain deep eye contact, and align your bodies—think of it as a cozy hug that takes things to the next level.

Why Eye Contact During Sex Matters?

Eye contact during sex creates intimacy and pleasure. Looking into each other's eyes builds trust and shows vulnerability.

This simple act can make sex more meaningful and emotionally fulfilling. 

I. The Psychological Impact Of Eye Contact During Sex

There are two main psychological impacts of direct eye contact.

II. The Impact of Locking Eyes During A Sexual Experience

Intense eye contact can make your sexual experiences feel so much more meaningful. It builds a deeper connection and makes your partner feel truly seen and appreciated.

The impact is real—locking gazes can ramp up sexual desire and arousal.

When you hold someone's eye contact, it can lead to more satisfying and intense orgasms, as pupils dilate and those chemical reactions build up.

Watch this video on do’s and don’ts of eye contact for more depth on the matter.

III. The Influence of Eye Contact to Dominance

Many people avoid eye contact during sex, but making eye contact (especially locked eyes) can intensify the experience.

A study published on various species suggests that eye contact plays a crucial role in dominance and submission interactions. In humans, for example, holding someone's gaze led men to make more dominant choices in the ultimatum game.

Next time, start slow, share a meaningful look during foreplay, and see where it takes you. Now that you are more experienced with eye contact during sex, how do you break it without creating a disconnect? Well, let's dive in...

How To Break Eye Contact During Sex Without Losing Connection?

Too much of anything can be bad, and the same goes for eye contact during sex.

Excessive eye contact can be overwhelming, uncomfortable, or even prevent you or your partner from experiencing climax.

To keep the connection strong while giving those peepers a break, try closing your eyes momentarily, kissing and touching her gently, or changing positions.

And if you have ever wondered why some people prefer to have their eyes closed during sex, read on.

Why Do We Close Our Eyes During Sex?

Closing our eyes during sex is an instinctual habit, much like when we kiss. This action allows our brain to fully appreciate the physical sensations without being distracted by visual stimuli.

Research has shown that closing our eyes can make every touch and movement feel more intense.

On a psychological level, closing our eyes makes us more vulnerable when we look into each other's eyes. Maintaining eye contact during such intimate moments can feel overwhelming.

For some, it may also be a way to avoid deeper intimacy, as eye contact can create a profound emotional connection.

A Female Perspective...
On Reading Her Non-Verbal Cues While Holding Eye Contact

from Isabel
SEXUALITY COACH

Eye contact and understanding non-verbal cues are crucial in deepening the connection with your partner since both are conveying emotions, intentions and reactions. The ability to read non-verbal cues can do wonders for your sex life.

  • Cue #1 - Body Language
    Body language speaks volumes about how she feels. If her body is relaxed, it means she is comfortable and enjoying the moment. Watch for gestures like touching herself, which shows she is aroused, or turning away, which might indicate discomfort. When she leans towards you during eye contact, it shows she's engaged and interested.
  • Cue #2 - Facial Expressions
    Facial expressions provide key insights into her feelings. Dilated pupils can indicate arousal, while a smile or parted lips show she is enjoying herself. Paying attention to these signs during eye contact can help you understand her better and respond accordingly.
  • Cue #3 - Breathing Patterns
    Her breathing patterns can also tell you a lot. Deep belly breaths suggest she is relaxed and comfortable, while shallow breathing may indicate tension or excitement. Synchronizing your breathing with hers during eye contact can create a more intimate and connected experience. 

Frequently Asked Questions

There's just one last thing before you go. You'll find all your burning questions here. 

My girlfriend keeps her eyes closed, how can I motivate her to open them when we make love?

Talk to her gently about why it matters to you. Share how eye contact makes the moment feel more connected. Be patient and give her time to feel comfortable.

Why do women keep their eyes shut during sex?

She might feel more relaxed and able to focus on sensations with her eyes closed. It could also be because she feels shy or self-conscious.

Why would a girl want to look into my eyes during sex?

Looking into your eyes can create a stronger connection and increase the feeling of closeness. It shows trust and deep connection.

Is she falling in love with me when she looks into my eyes during intercourse?

It might be a sign of deep affection and emotional connection. Eye contact during these moments can indicate growing feelings and trust.

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Andrew Mioch

Andrew Mioch is one of the world’s leading sex coaches and best-selling author after spending 10 years learning from experts all over the world.

Currently pursuing his Master’s Degree in Sexology, Andrew has personally coached over 5,000 men. His expertise is regularly sought in publications such as Men's Health, Medium, and Cosmopolitan Magazine.

These days, Andy spends most of his time coaching clients privately and also through SQL’s online Mastery Academy.


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