There’s a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings surrounding anal masturbation and anal play. But many of these misunderstandings are a result of a poor understanding of the human body and of pleasure.
What is anal masturbation? Why would you want to try it?
Perhaps you’re only researching anal masturbation for the first time. Maybe a partner brought it up as a potential new thing to try in the bedroom. Or maybe you’ve considered it before, but you just weren’t sure how to begin.
This post will provide a basic overview of anal masturbation. It will then dive deep into the whys, hows, and what-to-dos.
So if you’re ready to experience a new kind of pleasure, then keep reading.
What is Anal Masturbation?
Anal masturbation, also referred to as anal stimulation and anal play, is the act of stimulating your anus and/or prostate. You can do so solo, or with a partner.
Anal masturbation can be shallow, or it can be deep. It all depends on what you’re comfortable with. You can use a finger (or fingers), as well as sex toys during anal masturbation.
How to Perform Anal Masturbation
To begin, take a finger and place it at the very opening of the rectum. Slowly insert the finger into the rectum. You don’t want to go too far on your first try to prevent any discomfort.
You can then slowly move your finger in and out of your rectum to become used to the sensation. You may even feel comfortable enough to add another finger.
As you become used to anal stimulation, you may be ready to use anal sex toys like dildos and butt plugs. These can be a fun way to spice up your solo play.
The anus is a delicate area. The walls of the anus are part of the large intestine, and injury to this area can lead to tearing, bleeding, and infection. This is why it’s important that you follow some safety tips before you proceed with anal stimulation.
Use Appropriate Objects
It’s not uncommon that you hear wild stories of those people who “fell” on a shampoo bottle and required surgery to remove it. These stories aren’t so far-fetched, however, and there’s one important takeaway from them:
Only objects which are sold for the purpose of anal insertion should be used.
Even objects designed for anal play can have their dangers, however.
Objects with ribbing or otherwise rugged surfaces can increase the odds of anal tearing. This is why a high-quality lubricant is important.
You’ll also want to consider whether you’ll be practicing solo, or with a partner, when choosing a toy.
The majority of sex toys can be used alone or with a partner. But some can be more difficult to use safely on your own.
So before you use a sex toy, be sure that you can both insert it and remove it safely from your anus. This will help to avoid any embarrassing medical stories on your behalf.
Practice Good Hygiene
Before and after an anal session it’s important to practice good hygiene.
If you’ll be using your fingers to explore anal play, it’s important to trim your fingernails and wash your hands thoroughly beforehand. The bacteria under the fingernails can easily make its way into the anus, and long fingernails will only increase the possibility.
You should also use a wet cloth before and after your anal session to cleanse the area.
If using toys, it’s important to clean them according to manufacturer standards after each use. You’ll also want to store them in a cool, dry environment to prevent mold or bacterial growth.
If you’re a female, here’s a hygiene tip just for you: Do not insert a toy into your vagina, or anywhere near your vulva, that’s just been in your anus. This cross contamination can quickly become a urinary tract infection.
You know the mechanics of anal masturbation, but is there something you’re missing? This section will cover the basics of anal masturbation so you can ensure you’re prepared.
Lube, Lube, and More Lube
Unlike the vagina, which provides its own lubrication, the anus doesn’t. This means that if you don’t use a lubricant, you’ll be setting yourself up for a bad time.
There are a variety of lubricants to choose from, so even the pickiest of lube connoisseurs can find one they enjoy. These include water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. Let’s take a closer look at each one.
If you’re in need of a versatile lubricant, then water-based is the way to go. Water-based lubricants can be used safely with condoms and silicone sex toys. They can dry rather quickly, so just be sure to reapply often.
Silicone-based lubricants, on the other hand, cannot be used with silicone sex toys. So, they’re probably not a good option for most people who’re looking for anal stimulation. They are good for those with sensitive skin, though, so consider them if you intend to use your fingers only.
If you need a looooong-lasing lubricant, then oil-based is for you. Oil-based lubricants can be made from an array of oils. There are natural (like coconut oil) and synthetic (like mineral oil) options. Do be careful when using them with condoms as oils can make the condoms more likely to break.
Now that you know what options are available to you, how do you use lubricant for anal masturbation?
You’ll want to apply the lubricant you’ve chosen to both the opening of your anus, and either your fingers or the sex toy you intend to use.
To apply to the anus, place a few dabs on your fingertips. Begin by circling your anus with your fingertips. You can then slowly insert your fingers just an inch or so to lubricate the very opening.
When applying to your fingers or sex toy, be generous.
The bottomline: If you think you’re using enough lube, add more.
Get in the Mood
You may be eager to jump into anal masturbation. Who isn’t?! But you should take it slow and get in the mood before you begin.
Anal masturbation, just like vaginal or penile masturbation, requires mental preparation. While you could just start without any kind of preparation, why would you want to? After all, you’ll be sure to enjoy the experience all the more if you’re turned on.
This is especially true if you’re new to anal masturbation.
If you aren’t in the mood when you try it out the first time, it may lead to a bad experience. This can deter you from trying anal stimulation ever again.
So, do what you’ve got to do to get in the mood.
Makeout with your partner. Stimulate your nipples. Watch pornography. Read a trashy romance novel.
Then – and only then – should you begin with anal masturbation.
Take a Deep Breath
It seems silly that something like anal play could make you so nervous, right? Well, not exactly.
There’s been a stigma surrounding anal stimulation and anal sex for millenia. It’s so often mocked as effeminate, or dirty, or in some way shameful. This is why so many people have hangups about anal play, even if they can’t quite put their finger on why.
But the truth is, anal stimulation is a natural and healthy way to explore your body. This is true for men and women.
Before you start, though, you may need to shed some of these misconceptions. And if you’re still nervous during your first try, then you’ll need to take a deep breath and relax.
The more relaxed you are, the more pleasurable your experience will be.
What method do I recommend?
Breathe in to a count of eight. Hold your breath to a count of four. And then exhale to a count of seven.
Continue this breathing pattern and only once you feel properly relaxed should you proceed.
Practice Makes Perfect
Did your first time (or second? Or third?) not go as planned? Did you not enjoy the experience as much as you’d hoped? Or maybe you didn’t enjoy it at all?
The saying “practice makes perfect” applies to anal masturbation, believe it or not.
The more you practice anal stimulation, the more you’ll learn what you like and don’t like. You can then apply this knowledge to your next session for an even more enjoyable experience.
Female Anal Masturbation
You may be asking yourself:
“Why would a woman want to explore anal masturbation?”
It’s a common question. After all, the woman has the clitoris, the vagina, and the nipples. What else does she need? The anus, however, can offer so much more.
The anus, especially nearer to its opening, is packed full of nerve endings. When stimulated just right, these can deliver twinges of pleasure that are different from what a woman may be used to.
There’s also a spot deep within the vagina, known as the anterior fornix zone (or the A-spot). It can be difficult to reach vaginally, but this spot can become stimulated during anal play at just the right angle.
There’s probably even less known about the A-spot than there is the G-spot, though some women say the orgasms from both are quite similar. Other women say that an A-spot orgasm is more intense!
The presence of such a spot should be reason enough to give anal play a try.
If you’d ever like to give anal sex a try, too, then anal masturbation is the natural first step.
Male Anal Masturbation
Just like with women, the male’s anus is packed full of nerves.
The best part of anal masturbation for men, though, is the prostate gland.
The prostate gland is a walnut-sized gland that’s about two to three inches into the anus. This gland is responsible for secreting prostate fluid which is found in semen. When stimulated, the prostate can also induce intense, pleasurable sensations.
It’s unfortunate, but many men view anal masturbation as emasculating. My response? That’s ridiculous!
When done right, anal masturbation can provide immeasurable pleasure. So why miss out on it?
Anal masturbation can be a great time for men of all types. You can even incorporate it into your sessions with your partner (more on that later).
Read our article about male orgasms here.
Sex Toys for Anal Masturbation
Are you not interested in fingering your asshole? Or perhaps you’re just looking for some way to liven up your masturbation sessions? Either way, the sex toys below may be of interest.
If you’re just stepping into the world of anal sex toys, butt plugs are a great place to start.
As the name suggests, butt plugs are toys which are inserted into the anus. They sit at the anal opening so as to “plug” it. The purpose? To stimulate the nerve endings that are found in abundance at the opening.
You can get butt plugs in all kinds of shapes and sizes.
A standard butt plug is often shaped like an anchor. The flared base ensures that the plug doesn’t accidentally slip all the way into your anus.
There are also plugs with tail ends, plugs with jeweled ends, or even glass plugs.
You can also buy plug sets that enable you to work your way up in size, or just purchase an expanding plug that you can slowly increase the size of as you get accustomed.
Are you feeling particularly adventurous? Anal hooks are another type of butt plug. They ‘hook’ up into the anus for an interesting sensation.
Anal beads are a “rope” or “string” of beads that are evenly spaced apart. These beads can be placed into the anus one by one, and then the string can be pulled for a truly pleasurable experience.
The beads are often spherical, though there are some variations on the market. These include heart-shaped beads, star-shaped beads, and even oval beads.
The beads themselves also come in varying sizes, with one rope containing an array of sizes that starts small and increases the higher you go. This makes it easy to introduce the beads into the anus as the anal opening will become increasingly more prepared for each size up.
It’s true that anal beads are often used in couple’s play. You can use them alone, too, however. Once you’ve introduced the beads into the anus, you can clench and unclench your anal muscles. This will stimulate the inside of the anus, but it will also help you to remove them by yourself.
We can’t discuss sex toys without talking about dildos.
Dildos are a staple sex toy across the world, and they’re even used by the most “vanilla” of people. While they’re commonly associated with use in the vagina, they can (and should!) be incorporated into anal masturbation.
Do keep in mind that the anus, unlike the vagina, isn’t quite so easily stretched. This is why you need to work slowly to prevent damage. The best way to get started? Start small.
A tapered dildo is a great tool to have on hand when you first begin with anal play. This kind of dildo is thinner at the top and increasingly grows in girth.
The tapering will enable you to insert the dildo only up to the point in which you’re comfortable. It will also help you to slowly expand your anal opening for future anal sessions.
You can also buy sets of dildos which come with an array of sizes so you can slowly work your way up to the ideal size for you.
NOTE: It’s important that you use a dildo with a flared base. This will prevent the dildo from fully entering the anus where it may become lodged.
An anal vibrator is a sex toy that’s designed to be inserted into the anus of both men and women. The device will then vibrate (often at several different speeds).
There are many kinds of anal vibrators. You can even get a vibrating version of many of the sex toys already discussed above.
Butt plugs, anal beads, and dildos will all have vibrating varieties. You can use these with the vibrating feature turned off to start, and then turn it on for that extra push over the edge.
If you’re practicing anal stimulation with a partner, you can even get “two ended” vibrators. These vibrators are two egg-shaped devices connected by a cord.
If you’re a male who’s new to the world of anal masturbation, then this toy is for you!
As discussed above, the prostate is a small gland that’s two to three inches into the male anus. The gland itself is small and spongy and, when stimulated, it can lead to powerful orgasms.
So how can you stimulate your prostate? With a prostate massager.
A prostate massager is a silicone sex toy with a handle on one end and an angled, dildo-like piece on the other end. The dildo-like structure is interested in the anus where it will then stimulate the prostate by vibrating, or by moving back and forth in a “come hither” motion.
The results? A mind-blowing orgasm in just a few minutes.
The prostate massager can be used solo, but it can also be used during couple’s play or even during sex.
For even more fun, you can get a prostate massager with a cock ring attachment. Just place the cock ring on the base of your penis, and then insert the prostate massager into your anus for double the fun!
Solo Anal Masturbation
Masturbation is, for the most part, a solo activity. Anal masturbation is no different!
So how do you practice solo anal masturbation?
You’ll need a few things first.
The most important item to have on hand is lubricant. You can use any lubricant of your choosing (as outlined above), but just be sure to use lots of it!
You’ll also need to decide if you’ll be using your fingers to start, or a sex toy.
For beginners, a finger or two is the best way to go. You can ease yourself into it and you don’t have to make any big decisions (like which sex toy is “right”).
And most important, you need a sense of adventure.
Anal masturbation is not for the faint of heart. It’s a fun activity, though, and one that may bring you the most intense orgasm of your life.
Couple’s Play: Tips for Anally Stimulating Your Partner
Are you and your partner interested in trying something new? Then you might want to consider exploring anal stimulation together.
Ask Before Entering
Perhaps you’ve been interested in anal stimulation for awhile now. You may have even tried it on yourself a few times. So why not ask your partner to join in?
Do keep in mind, though, that anal stimulation isn’t something that everyone is interested in.
So before you take it to the next level, ask your partner if they’re interested in anal play. They may be willing to try it on you, or they may be willing to give it a go on themselves. Either way, it’s important that you have their full and express consent and that you never surprise your partner with anal play.
Be Aware of Your Partner’s Reaction
A good sexual partner will be aware of their partner’s non-verbal cues. What does this look like?
With anal stimulation, it can be pretty easy to tell if your partner is enjoying the experience or not. If they’re clenching as you enter, or pulling away, it may be that there’s not enough lubricant. Your partner may also not be mentally prepared.
So just be sure to take note of your partner’s reactions as you move forward with anal play. If at any time they seem uncomfortable, stop what you’re doing and ask for their feedback. This will lead to a more enjoyable experience for all.
Try New Sex Positions
Now that we’ve gotten the disclaimers out of the way, let’s talk sex positions.
This classic position gives both partners an equal opportunity for anal stimulation.
In the 69 position, one partner will lie flat on their back. The second partner will kneel over their partner while facing the opposite direction. In the end, each partner will have the genitals of the other partner in close proximity to their mouth.
To practice anal stimulation, you’ll just need to lift your arms slightly and place your hands on your partner’s buttocks. You can then gently spread their ass cheeks and use your fingertips, or a sex toy, to enter or tease the anus.
While the traditional spooning position may give him easy access to her butt, the facing spoon can give both partners equal access to each other’s anus.
To get into position, the man and woman will lie on their sides facing one another. The woman will lift her top leg to let him enter and then close her legs. The man can then thrust into her, or the woman can grind on the man’s shaft.
To stimulate the anus, you’ll just need to wrap your arm around your partner’s side. This may take a bit of flexibility depending on the length of your arms. You can then use your finger or fingers to penetrate their anus, or to just play with their rim.
Are you into a bit of ‘girl on top’ action? Then the Amazon sex position is for you.
The man in the position will lie on his back with his knees lifted up to his chest. The woman will then crouch down over the penis and insert the shaft into her. The woman will then kneel down, with her arms placed on the man’s chest, and use your knees and feet to rock, grind, and thrust.
The man in this position will typically be holding the woman’s thighs to help support her weight. He can use one hand, though, to reach around (or under her) and tease her anus. You can even use a sex toy to thrust into her everytime she thrusts backwards for double the pleasure.
In a similar fashion, the woman can use one hand to stabilize herself on his chest while she uses the other to reach between herself and her partner’s legs. This will give her the perfect angle to access his anus, as his knees are pressed to his chest.
Let’s try a position that will focus on stimulation of the male partner.
The man will lie on his back close to the edge of the bed (or other surface) with his knees slightly bent. The woman will stand at the edge of the bed facing away. She’ll then lower herself slowly onto his shaft so she’s in a crouching position.
As the woman gets comfortable, she can lean back more and more onto the man. Her feet will eventually be lifted from the floor and she can support herself by leaning her arms back onto the surface of the bed.
While the man won’t have easy access to his partner’s anus, the woman can quite easily reach under her partner to tease his anal opening. She’ll just need to gently spread his thighs apart and enter him from the front. This will lead to stimulation of the man’s anal opening, but also his testicles as her hand/arm will brush against them in the process.
The Sitting V
And now let’s look at a position that’s more for the ladies.
The woman will lie on her back with her legs bent at the knee. The man will enter from the front. He’ll kneel in front of her and place his shaft into her vagina. The woman will then lift her legs into a V-shape while the man supports them with his hands.
As the man continues to kneel, he can thrust into his partner. But how about anal stimulation?
The man can take on of her legs and place it on his shoulder. He can then use his free hand to go underneath her buttocks and slightly between them. This will bring her fingers into alignment with her anus.
Here, he can use his fingertips to stimulate her anal opening. He can also apply an anal vibrator to the area.
While lubricant is highly recommended, he can also use some of his partner’s natural lubricants in the area. Just gently rub in between her pussy lips to moisten his fingers, and then bring them down to her anus. This can be a big turn on of itself, both for him and for her.
Frequently Asked Questions About Anal Masturbation
Do you have a question about anal masturbation? We have an answer! Let’s take a look at some of the most commonly asked questions about the topic at hand.
Does Anal Play Hurt?
We’ve written a whole article about “does anal sex hurt” here.
One of the most common reasons that people are apprehensive about anal play is the pain thought to be associated with it.
The thought of having an object inserted into your rectum may seem painful at first. And it’s true that the anal spinchter is quite delicate. That just means you need to start gently and take your time.
The sphincter is delicate, but it’s also able to be relaxed. This will take practice, but a relaxed spinchter is the key to pleasurable anal play.
And of course, you’ll need to use lots of lube!
Lubricant is an easy way to prevent tugging of the skin around and inside of the anus. It can also prevent tears in the delicate anal lining.
Just start small, and work your way up slowly. If you ever feel pain, then fall back a step as you may have moved on too quickly.
What is Anal Douching?
Chances are if you’ve done your research on anal play, you’ve come across anal douching. But what is anal douching, and should you do it?
Anal douching is the practice of cleaning the rectum with water. This is often done prior to anal sex and anal masturbation. The main reason? Hygiene.
It’s no secret that anal play can get a bit messy. Anal douching can help to decrease the odds of feces making its way onto your fingers or your sex toys, though. This will reduce the risk of a mess.
Whether you should anal douche before your anal play session is up to you.
If you’re just getting started (i.e. you’ll only be entering the first inch or so of your rectum), then you don’t necessarily need to douche. It may still be a bit messy if you don’t, though. On the other hand, if you’ll be aiming to stimulate the prostate, then you’ll probably want to douche. After all, the deeper you go the messier it can get.
Can I Orgasm from Anal Play?
There’s a common misconception that anal play rarely results in an orgasm, and when it does it only happens in men. But nothing can be further from the truth.
First, to answer the question: yes, you can orgasm from anal play. This is true for both men and women.
I’ve discussed the anatomy of the anus of both men and women above, but let’s do a quick recap.
Within the male anus is a small gland called the prostate. When stimulated, the prostate (also known as the p-spot) can stimulate a powerful orgasm. This is why prostate stimulators exist.
The female anus has an erogenous spot of its own, known as the anterior fornix zone. It’s actually located deep within the vagina, but it can be stimulated through penetrative anal play. This spot, too, can trigger an orgasm if stimulated just right.
Just because anal orgasms are a thing doesn’t mean you’ll have one on your first (or even fifth try). But there’s still pleasure in anal stimulation, even without a big finish.
How Do I Tell My Partner I Want to Try Anal Play?
Anal play can be a tough topic to bring up, especially if you’re not used to having such intimate conversations. But it’s important to maintain open and honest communication with your partner, especially as it relates to your sex life.
The easiest way to bring up the topic? Just ask!
“Hey babe, what do you think about anal play?”
Or “I’d like to try something new. Are you open to anal stimulation?”
It seems simple, right? That’s because it is!
How Can I Move From Anal Play to Anal Sex?
Have you previously done anal play, but you’re ready for something more? Then you may be interested in exploring anal sex, but you aren’t quite sure you’re ready to take the plunge.
Just like the advice offered to anal play beginners above, you’ll want to start slow and relax.
You shouldn’t expect the first time to be spectacular. You’ll likely have to stop multiple times throughout the session to get comfortable, or you may even have to end it prematurely if it gets too uncomfortable.
Just remember that this is a process and once you get used to it, the end result is worth it.
There are plenty of ways to pleasure yourself or your partner, from oral sex to penetrative sex to nipple play. But another way to add some fun to your sex life is with anal masturbation.
While the name suggests that anal masturbation is done alone, you can easily incorporate it into your couple’s play. And there are plenty of tools and toys available to make anal stimulation a fun time for all involved.
With the right lube, sex toys, and attitude, you may find that anal masturbation is your new favorite sexual go-to.
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