The 14-Step Guide to Sexy Teasing: How to Tease Your Man

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The 14-Step Guide to Sexy Teasing: How to Tease Your Man

Teasing… it comes naturally to many couples. We love to push our partner’s buttons, especially if we know it’ll turn them on.

But sexy teasing, even if we’re the ones doing it, can also be a big turn-on for us. The ability to turn our partner on with a look, a touch – it’s a form of power play. And when done right, sexy teasing can lead to a tense buildup for both partners, eventually resulting in explosive orgasms.

So how can you incorporate more sexy teasing into your lives?

This guide will show you how.

Before we begin, though…

Do keep in mind that balance is key to effective teasing. There is some give-and-take required. After all, if all you do is take away, how can that be enjoyable for your partner?

So remember balance. Two steps forward, one step back is a good rule of thumb. This will keep your partner at the edge, but not annoyed.

How to Tease Your Man in 14 Steps

Now that you know just how fun teasing can be, it’s time to learn techniques for teasing your partner. A few of these may be hit-or-miss, but give them all a try to see what your partner responds to.

1. Whisper in His Ear

You’ve heard of whispering sweet nothings. Why not add it to your teasing routine to get him hot and bothered?

The ears are incredibly sensitive to sensation. They are an erogenous zone, after all!

When you whisper in his ear, you do two things:

  1. You send gentle, barely-there sensations to the outer ear which can be an electrifying experience all on their own; and
  2. You force him to really listen to what you’re saying. He’ll have to strain to hear your words which cause him to focus intently.

Use this time wisely, then, to tell him exactly what you want to do to him. Really paint a picture with your words so he can’t help but think of what you told him throughout the day.

2. Brush Against Him Intentionally

Physical contact is an easy way to tease your partner, especially if you’re in public.

It closes the distance between you two and creates a continual reconnection with your partner. Depending on how you touch him, it can also remind him of what’s to come later.

A gentle brush against him – his arm, his back, his thigh – can drive him wild. Especially if you do it with a coy look. Just a light brush, one that people won’t notice, but one that will create that reconnection and drive him mad.

If you’re feeling bold, you can even give a light brush with the back of your hand to his groin. Just a light touch as you pass by.

3. Send Naughty Texts

While whispered words are fun, sometimes you need to be a little more direct or detailed. That’s where naughty text messages come in.

With text messages, you can be as innocent or as explicit as you like. There is a time and place for both, so mix it up every once in a while.

On the innocent side of things, you can drop little hints into your conversation as to what you’re thinking about.

If you want to be more direct, that’s okay too. Tell him, in explicit detail, what you want to do to him or remind him what you’ve done to him in the past. Fill in every detail so you get all of his senses working together.

You can also tell him what you want him to do to you. He’ll appreciate the honesty, and you’ll appreciate the pleasure it brings you later on.

4. Send Dirty Pictures

Speaking of naughty messages, you don’t have to limit them to just words.

Dirty pictures can tell your partner just as much, if not more, as your words.

If you want to keep it relatively clean, send a picture of your lingerie on a clothes hanger or laid out on the bed. Or send him a neck-up selfie from the bathtub. These will clearly get your message across.

You can also be more explicit by sending him pictures of his favorite, erm, body parts. Cleavage shots are pretty easy to snap wherever you are, and they’ll leave him thinking about you all day.

If you really want to tease him, send your images in a series. Start with a close-up shot of your belly, then slowly work your way up sending him each shot until you reach your breasts.

5. Have an Impromptu Makeout Session

When is the last time you made out with your partner without leading into sex? The answer is likely sometime in your teenage years.

As we get older, we forget the impact of a makeout-only session. It’s a great way to connect with your partner while also building up sexual tension. You don’t have to have sex every time you make out. Instead, use it as a tool for making your next sexual encounter a great one.

So the next time you have ten minutes or so, pull your partner aside and go to town.

Start with a light kiss on the lips that could end in just a few seconds. But as you kiss him, apply more and more pressure.

Use your tongue to probe his lips. Use your hands to caress the back of his head and wrap around his neck. Use your body strategically, by brushing against him with a deep physical yearning for more.

This may lead to sex, but if you really want to tease him, pull back just as soon as it gets really good. Or you can do it when you know your partner has a limited amount of time, like right before they have to leave the house or take a phone call.

6. Give Him a Strip Tease

While some of the tips we share will be more implied teasing, we do have some explicit tips as well. That is, tips that are very clearly meant to tease him sexually.

One of these is the strip tease.

A strip tease is an intentional, prolonged technique for driving your partner mad. You can do it in person (the best way) or via photo or video messages.

If you feel silly doing a strip tease, keep one thing in mind: your partner just realllly wants to see you naked. How you get there is of less consequence to them. So be confident in your partner’s desire for you to make your big reveal and just have fun.

Remember, teasing can happen before sex, too. It will heighten both of your arousal levels to make sex more pleasurable and intense. The next time you’re getting ready for a sexual encounter, begin to undress slowly in front of him.

You can even prolong the strip tease by taking breaks in your tease to undress your partner slowly. Or make it a game. Whatever you take off, your partner takes off, or vice versa.

7. Let Him Watch You

Have you ever thought about giving your partner permission to admire you?

It sounds silly. They can admire you throughout the day, right?

But by admire, we really mean watch you doing implicitly or explicitly naughty things without the ability to touch you themselves.

Start with something small, like inviting him into the bathroom to watch you shower or bathe. If you have a glass shower door, even better! He can see the outline of your figure as you slowly suds up your body, but he can’t participate.

You can bring this into the bedroom, too.

Get naked and begin to touch yourself. Start with the areas he loves to touch himself. Watch him as he squirms, watching you touch yourself without the ability to touch you or even himself.

Of course, you can’t leave him hanging forever (pun intended).

Allow him to join you only once you’ve decided he’s horny enough.

8. Draw Attention to Your Mouth

The mouth is a very sensual organ.

Just think of what you’ve done to him before with your lips, your tongue… He certainly hasn’t stopped thinking about it!

So the next time you want to tease him, discreetly or otherwise, draw attention to your mouth.

Food is a great way to do so discreetly. A lollipop, a popsicle, a banana, or a sausage. If you’re out in public, give him a light tap to get his attention, make eye contact, and just go to town eating whatever it is you’re eating.

He’ll be reminded of all the things you’ve done to him with your lips and tongue. He’ll be wishing he was the lollipop which will only get him hot and bothered for later when you’re alone.

If you’re at home, you can be more explicit. Grab a dildo and give it a teasing lick while he watches you. Then show him exactly what you’re going to do to his penis once you’re done.

This will simultaneously be one of the hottest, and one of the most frustrating, things he’s ever seen.

9. Use Sexual Innuendos

Sexy banter can be a huge turn-on for some people. So work on adding some sexual puns to your repertoire, and then drop them into natural conversation whenever possible.

It can be something as simple as lingering on the word “wet” and giving him a knowing look. Or even something more explicit containing the words “bush,” “blow,” “suck,” or “bone.”

If you’re alone, you can make your statements more obvious without fully giving yourself away. Your partner may question if you realize what you just said. If you’re with others, then it never hurts to give your partner an indication that you know exactly what you said.

10. Be Explicit

There are some men who prefer a more direct approach.

So if your partner doesn’t seem to notice your less obvious teasing techniques, then it’s time to kick it up a notch.

Grab your partner by the shoulders, sit him down, and look him directly in the eye. Then begin to strip, or touch yourself, or just tell him exactly what you want him to do to you.

Give him every last filthy detail as you watch him squirm.

The more explicit (and X-rated) that you can be, the better.

11. Get Handsy

If you want something a bit more explicit than gently brushing against his junk at every chance you get, then really get in there and get handsy.

Say you’re at a friend’s home who is hosting a dinner party. Your husband goes to the bathroom down a long hallway. You hear him coming out, so you make the excuse that you also have to use the bathroom. As you pass him in the hallway, reach out and give his penis a little touch or squeeze. It’ll be sure to make him slightly erect.

Your hands don’t have to wander to inappropriate places, either.

Stand behind your husband and give him a light shoulder massage while you make conversation with others. Or hold his hand and discreetly insert your index finger between his thumb and index to simulate intercourse.

12. Pull Back Strategically

Have things ever been getting hot and heavy and you think “what would he do if I just stopped?”

With this technique, you can find out.

Teasing is all about two steps forward, and one step back. It’s about creating a strategic distance between you two.

Let’s say you’ve done a sexy strip tease and you’re starting to makeout. His hands begin to wander and he’s beginning to engage in heavy petting. Grab his hands and hold them together as you continue to kiss.

After a few minutes, you can allow him to explore again with you beginning to explore yourself. But then, you stop touching him yourself.

This continual back-and-forth will drive him crazy. But it’s not restrictive enough to be sexually disruptive if you know what I mean.

13. Touch Everything But the Goods

If you’ve gotten to the part in your sexual encounter where you’re beginning to touch him, then you want to be intentional about how you do so.

You could go straight for the penis, sure.

But what’s the fun in that?

Instead, why not focus on the build-up by touching him everywhere BUT the penis?

What does this look like?

Allow your hands to wander over his shoulders, his chest, his stomach, and his upper thighs. As you work in towards the groin, slowly pull back to the thighs. Make eye contact while doing so. Repeat a few times.

Then move back up to the shoulders or down to the feet. Give him a short massage and then resume exploration.

Repeat this intentional misdirection a few times before finally gripping his shaft in your hands.

14. Let Him Massage You

Sometimes, we have to remind our partners just how lucky they are. One way to do so is to allow him the pleasure of massaging you without the expectation of anything in return.

Sure, you can ask him outright.

A technique I prefer, though, is one that assumes his participation. He may be so bewildered or even amused, that he goes along without question.

Set up the environment for an erotic massage. Dim the lights, light some candles, and play some soft music. Then lead him into the room by his hands and hand him some massage oil as you lay yourself out on the table or bed.

You can even get him started by squirting some oil into his hands and guiding his hands to touch your chest, your stomach, and your thighs. Encourage him to take over and enjoy the experience.

3 Important Rules for Fun and Harmless Teasing

Remember that teasing is not meant to be cruel. Instead, it should be lighthearted and fun. So to ensure that both parties are having a good time, here are some rules to keep in mind.

  • Fun for one is fun for none. If you’re the only one enjoying the teasing, then it’s not fun and harmless. Instead, it can actually be detrimental to your relationship. So be sure that your version of teasing matches up with your partners.
  • There is a time and a place. Some people are down to teasing anywhere. But for others, teasing is best done in the privacy of your home. So ask your partner what they like.
  • Consent is crucial. In a relationship, it’s easy to take consent for granted. But it’s important to have continued conversations about consent, especially if you’re doing something (even discreet) in public.

There’s a common theme among the above three rules: communication. Have frequent and frank conversations with your partner so you both can enjoy the teasing.


You don’t need to be a pro at teasing or even an overtly sensual person.

You can start small (e.g. text messages, dirty pics, light touch) and work your way to more intense (e.g. strip tease, mouth play) as you get more comfortable.

The important thing is that you’re doing it for both your and your partner’s enjoyment. It never hurts to get out of your comfort zone, and your partner will appreciate the effort.

So give sexy teasing a try, even if it’s not usually your thing. You may be surprised at the depth of arousal you unlock — in yourself, your partner, or even in your relationship.

Laura Rose Halliday

Laura Rose Halliday started The School Of Squirt back in 2012 and has been running the website and digital courses along with Jakob Wulfe since then. She is a full time sex writer, researcher and practicer.

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