Why does rimming get overlooked so often? Seriously, 40% of couples say adding anal play cranks up their sex life.
If you're ready to explore this uncharted territory with techniques that are as safe as they are intense, buckle up—this guide will show you how to properly rim someone like a pro.
In this article, we'll cover:
What Is Rimming?
Rimming, also known as licking or kissing your partner's anus, is a fantastic way to amp up anal stimulation. It’s got a few fun nicknames, too: tossing salad, anilingus—whatever you want to call it, the outcome stays the same—pure pleasure.
In fact, a survey from The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that nearly 37% of adults have explored anal play, with many reporting deeper intimacy and satisfaction in their sex lives.
Not only does rimming feel amazing, but it can also build trust and even lead to powerful orgasms.
Alright, you’ve got the basics—now let’s turn that rim job into a mind-blowing experience she’ll never forget!
How To Give The Perfect Rim Job?
Giving the perfect rim job requires a mix of preparation, technique, and attentiveness. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you master it effortlessly.
Step #1 - Get Clean and Trim for Smooth Action
Most people aren't into getting a mouthful of body hair or dirt during sex—no matter your sexual orientation. Cleanliness is non-negotiable in any sexual activity, especially if you want an unforgettable rim job. So, step one: get clean and prepped for pleasure.
How To
A great way to warm her up and get into the mood while also making sure you are comfortable with the level of hygiene is to shave her butt together as a part of your foreplay. It adds some power play into the mix, and since you are shaving her ass, you are able to make sure no hair gets left accidentally. Massaging the area gently can also add to the arousal.
Isabel
SEXUALITY COACH
Once you're fresh and (hopefully) a little turned on from your shower sesh, you're ready to move on!
Step #2 - Fire Up Her Butt With Sensual Foreplay
There's no need to rush in like you’re trying to win a race. Foreplay is your best friend here. In fact, 74% of women say teasing and buildup make the whole experience way more enjoyable—so take your time.
How To
This step is key to making everything that follows even better. It’s a win for both of you when she's relaxed and turned on. Skip the teasing, and it’s like trying to watch a movie without pressing play—not much is going to happen!
Step #3 - Spread Those Cheeks for Perfect Access
By this point, she’s burning up and begging for more. Time to take control—gently spread her butt cheeks, giving yourself the perfect view and access to her anus. Simple, but trust me, this is where things start getting really hot.
How To
The slower and more deliberate you are in spreading her cheeks, the hotter the buildup, making her crave your next move.
Step #4 - Show Her Butt the Love It Deserves
The rest of this guide is absolutely useless without this first part. After all, you can’t expect your woman to be in the mood if you can’t even take the time to prepare her body and her mind.
Master the Basics and Blow Her Mind
Ready to graduate from the basics? Let’s take things up a notch and turn that pleasure dial all the way to 11.
Turn Up the Heat and Leave Her Breathless
When you worship her like this, she’ll be soaked, trembling, and so turned on she won’t know what to do with herself. You’re not just licking—you’re driving her wild, and she’ll be hooked on every second of it.
Step #5 - Master the Do’s & Don’ts of Rimming
We all wish we were born knowing how to rock a rim job, but let's face it—porn and your buddy's tips probably didn’t do you any favors. No worries, though. Here’s your cheat sheet of do’s and don’ts to ensure you’re delivering a rim job that’ll have her coming back for more.
Do’s
Don’ts
Follow these do’s and don’ts, and you'll be delivering a rim job that feels more like an art form than just another sexual act.
Nail the prep, master the technique, and listen to her body—boom, you’ve got yourself a rim job she’ll never forget.
To keep it that way—let’s dive into three killer tongue techniques that’ll take her from “this feels good” to “I need more of that, now!”
3 Simple Tongue Techniques To Send Her Wild
If you’re a newbie to rimming, you might not have thought of many ways to lick your partner yet, which is why I have created a list of movements you can use to pleasure your partner.
But first, let’s talk about where exactly to lick for maximum pleasure!
Where To Lick? — Focus on These Key Spots for Anal Pleasure
Here are the key areas to focus on when rimming someone:
Each area brings something special to the experience, so be sure to give them all the attention they deserve!
Licking your partner's anus is thankfully a bit more straightforward than giving oral sex. Here are my top 3 techniques for giving incredible rim jobs.
Technique #1 - Master the Flat Tongue for Full Coverage: Lay your tongue flat and use broad, sweeping motions. Start with horizontal licks, then switch to vertical strokes. Mix in long, slow movements to cover more area and keep the pleasure building. This technique provides full coverage, ensuring maximum sensation.
Technique #2 - Create Sensation with the Tongue Twister: Use your tongue to draw stars, zigzags, spirals, and circles around the anus. These unpredictable patterns keep your partner on edge, heightening sensitivity and anticipation with each movement. The key is to switch it up, keeping the sensation fresh and exciting.
Technique #3 - Precision Pleasure with the Tongue Tip: Use the tip of your tongue for pinpoint accuracy. Flick, tap, and trace a circular motion around the anus, focusing on high-sensitivity areas. This technique gives you control over pressure and precision, perfect for teasing and building intense pleasure.
Bonus Technique - Heighten Her Arousal Using Your Breath: One of the most underrated moves during oral or anal play is using your breath. When she’s deep into the moment, blow a slow, warm breath over her anus or other erogenous zones—it’s subtle but incredibly powerful.
Once you use those techniques a few times, she'll be shaking with anticipation, waiting for you to do it again.
Still not enough? Then add sex toys or fingers (really get handsy) and watch how much she loves it.
Since you have the techniques down pat—let’s dive into some of the best anilingus positions that’ll have her dripping, moaning, and begging you not to stop!
The Sexy Six Anilingus Positions
Anilingus is only as good as your position. In the right one, it's heaven. In the wrong sex position, it's like trying to swim with hands tied behind your back.
You might get somewhere in the end, but it's not the most optimal situation.
These six positions are everything you need for maximum pleasure and comfort.
Position #1 - Doggy Style
This position is one of every man's favorites, and for good reason. If you haven't been living under a rock, you know what Doggy Style is.
However, have you tried remixing it for rimming? This is how.
How To
I recommend all my clients try this one out first because it's easy, has great access to her body, and it's pretty easy to adjust as needed.
Position #2 - Missionary With Bent Knees
Missionary is another classic. It works wonders for anal sex, vaginal sex, and even rimming.
How To
This one works because it's comfortable and easy. It also has plenty of eye contact, so you can watch out for her nonverbal cues.
You can also easily pause and chat if things become too much towards the end.
To get easier access to your partner's behind, it sometimes helps to use a pillow underneath their butt for elevation.
Isabel
SEXUALITY COACH
Position #3 - Rim on the Edge
This position offers comfort, control, and easy, unhindered access to her most sensitive areas. It’s ideal for turning up the heat without compromising on stability.
How To
This move sets the stage for deeper sensations while keeping her body supported and open for exploration.
Position #4 - Lazy Dog
Think of Doggy Style but with a slightly more relaxed feel. That's the Lazy Dog sex position.
How To
I love this position for several reasons. The slow pace makes things very sensual. It's also great for when I want to take my time, teasing her and building up the anticipation.
Plus, it's perfect for lazy Sunday mornings when you want to relax and enjoy each other’s company.
Position #5 - Face Sitting
This hot sex position puts her in more control. If you've done face-sitting before, then you already know a few of the pros.
If you haven't, let's say that you should imagine your partner on top of you, grinding her body up/down or left/right to whatever feels good for her until she orgasms.
That sounds like a good time to me...
How To
This lovely position works for couples who enjoy a lot of friction, close contact, and pleasure.
In this position, she gets nearly full control. You just have to sit back, relax, and have your tongue out and ready for action.
Position #6 - Rimming 69
This position is all about mutual pleasure. While she’s focused on giving you a mind-blowing blow job, you’re giving her an incredible rim job at the same time. It’s the perfect way to care for each other’s needs in one hot, connected move.
How To
This position allows you to enjoy the best of both worlds—receiving pleasure while driving her wild with rimming. It’s a perfect way to amp up the intimacy and connection.
You’ve nailed the Sexy Six—now let’s dive into what women crave and the mistakes you need to avoid to keep her on the edge of pleasure!
A Woman's Perspective..
On Common Mistakes To Avoid When Rimming Your Partner
Rimming can take your partner’s pleasure to a new level, but small mistakes can quickly kill the mood. Here are common mistakes men often make and how you can avoid them.
Mistake #1 - Going From Ass to Vagina Without Cleaning
A big mistake is moving straight from the anus to the vagina without cleaning, which can cause health issues.
Solution
Mistake #2 - Ignoring Her Cues & Communication
Not noticing her body language or ignoring non-verbal cues can turn her off completely.
Solution
Mistake #3 - Being Too Rough, Too Fast
The anus is sensitive, and going too fast can create tension instead of pleasure.
Solution
Mistake #4 - Skipping Lubrication
Without lubrication, anal play becomes uncomfortable and can even be painful.
Solution
With all this in mind, rimming is very pleasurable when done right. By avoiding these common pitfalls, you guarantee she'll have a good time...
Most likely, coming back for seconds.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here, I'll address some common questions about rimming and anal sex to make you feel more confident (and safe) in the bedroom!
People enjoy receiving rim jobs and anal play because the anus has many nerve endings, so when someone licks or plays with it, it feels great.
While there is a small risk of exposure to bacteria or infections, practicing good hygiene and using protective tools such as a dental dam can make rimming a safe and enjoyable experience and prevent sexually transmitted infections from spreading. Ensure you and your partner are clean beforehand, and you’re good to go!
Yes, you technically can kiss your partner after rimming, but a lot of men prefer to freshen up first. Rinsing with mouthwash, drinking water, or brushing your teeth will help reduce any risk while keeping the moment sexy and safe!
Yes, some women can orgasm from rimming due to the sensitive nerve endings around the anus. Still, that does not mean every woman will orgasm from a rimjob, no matter how good your technique is.
Wait for a relaxed moment and mention your curiosity about exploring anal play, framing it as something fun to discover together. Women are naturally curious, so tickle her interest while reassuring her about safety, hygiene, and moving at her pace. Let her know there’s no pressure—just open, enjoyable exploration.
As I often recommend, before trying any new sexual activity, make sure to ask for consent first. Many women do enjoy a finger after rimming, but it’s all about checking in with her comfort level.
Simple! Read this article. It teaches you everything you need to know. But to quickly summarize: warm her up during foreplay, use your tongue and mouth in one of the positions above, and play with her anus.
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