How to Properly Rim Someone: Even If You’ve Never Done It Before

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How to Properly Rim Someone: Even If You’ve Never Done It Before

Why does rimming get overlooked so often? Seriously, 40% of couples say adding anal play cranks up their sex life.

If you're ready to explore this uncharted territory with techniques that are as safe as they are intense, buckle up—this guide will show you how to properly rim someone like a pro.

In this article, we'll cover:

  • What is rimming and its benefits
  • The top anilingus positions and techniques
  • How to give the perfect rim- job every time

What Is Rimming?

Rimming, also known as licking or kissing your partner's anus, is a fantastic way to amp up anal stimulation. It’s got a few fun nicknames, too: tossing salad, anilingus—whatever you want to call it, the outcome stays the same—pure pleasure.

In fact, a survey from The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that nearly 37% of adults have explored anal play, with many reporting deeper intimacy and satisfaction in their sex lives.

Not only does rimming feel amazing, but it can also build trust and even lead to powerful orgasms.

Alright, you’ve got the basics—now let’s turn that rim job into a mind-blowing experience she’ll never forget!

How To Give The Perfect Rim Job?

Giving the perfect rim job requires a mix of preparation, technique, and attentiveness. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you master it effortlessly. 

Step #1 - Get Clean and Trim for Smooth Action

Most people aren't into getting a mouthful of body hair or dirt during sex—no matter your sexual orientation. Cleanliness is non-negotiable in any sexual activity, especially if you want an unforgettable rim job. So, step one: get clean and prepped for pleasure.

How To

  • Jump in the shower and scrub up—it’s basic but crucial.
  • Trim or shave around your anus to avoid hairs and make licking a smooth experience.

A great way to warm her up and get into the mood while also making sure you are comfortable with the level of hygiene is to shave her butt together as a part of your foreplay. It adds some power play into the mix, and since you are shaving her ass, you are able to make sure no hair gets left accidentally. Massaging the area gently can also add to the arousal.

Isabel

SEXUALITY COACH

Once you're fresh and (hopefully) a little turned on from your shower sesh, you're ready to move on!

Step #2 - Fire Up Her Butt With Sensual Foreplay

There's no need to rush in like you’re trying to win a race. Foreplay is your best friend here. In fact, 74% of women say teasing and buildup make the whole experience way more enjoyable—so take your time.

How To

  • Tease her by running your fingers down her spine, like you’re tracing a map to her pleasure.
  • Slide your hands down her sides, teasing her like you’re unwrapping your favorite gift.
  • Massage her butt cheeks, maybe add a cheeky spank, keeping it fun and teasing.
  • Glide your fingers down her inner thighs, close but not quite there—build the suspense.
  • Grap her hips firmly, owning the moment, but keep the touch soft enough to leave her wanting.

This step is key to making everything that follows even better. It’s a win for both of you when she's relaxed and turned on. Skip the teasing, and it’s like trying to watch a movie without pressing play—not much is going to happen!

Step #3 - Spread Those Cheeks for Perfect Access

By this point, she’s burning up and begging for more. Time to take control—gently spread her butt cheeks, giving yourself the perfect view and access to her anus. Simple, but trust me, this is where things start getting really hot.

How To

  • Go Slow: Let every move be a tease. The slower you go, the more her body will ache for what’s coming next. Make her feel the anticipation build with every second, like she’s waiting for that final release.
  • Be Gentle: Take your time spreading her open, making her feel like she’s the center of your attention. Each touch should make her feel desired, cherished, like you’re savoring every inch of her body.
  • Apply Gentle Pressure: As you pull her cheeks apart, apply just enough pressure to open her up without causing discomfort—creating the perfect balance between control and tenderness.
  • Start with Light Touches: After spreading, softly brush your fingertips along the edges of her anus without going straight for it—this builds tension and excitement.
  • Use Your Thumbs: Insert your thumbs lightly into the outer rim of her butt crack, spreading her open further while also massaging her cheeks to keep her relaxed.

The slower and more deliberate you are in spreading her cheeks, the hotter the buildup, making her crave your next move.

Step #4 - Show Her Butt the Love It Deserves

The rest of this guide is absolutely useless without this first part. After all, you can’t expect your woman to be in the mood if you can’t even take the time to prepare her body and her mind.

Master the Basics and Blow Her Mind

  • Butt Cheek Sucking: Get your mouth on those cheeks like you can’t get enough of her. Suck, tease, and bite softly—make her feel like you’re devouring every inch. The hungrier you are, the hotter she’ll get.
  • Massage While You Rim: Your hands should never stop working—grab her ass, squeeze like you own it, and massage her while your tongue explores. Feel her hips start to grind against you as her body begs for more.
  • Tease Around the Anus: Hover your tongue or fingers right around her most sensitive spots. Light, feathery touches around her anus will drive her wild, lighting up every nerve ending and getting her desperate for more.
  • Don’t Miss a Spot: Kiss, lick, and suck on her butt dimples and the soft curve of her lower back. Every spot you touch will send electric shocks through her body, making her crave your tongue even more.
  • Switch Up the Tongue Pressure: Start with barely-there licks, then suddenly go firm, pressing into her with your whole tongue. Keep her on edge, making her squirm and moan, desperate for your next move.

Ready to graduate from the basics? Let’s take things up a notch and turn that pleasure dial all the way to 11.

Turn Up the Heat and Leave Her Breathless

  • Temperature Play: Drip warm water or ice across her anus and watch her body react. Her back will arch, her breathing will quicken, and every touch will feel like fire.
  • Nipple Play While Rimming: Reach around and play with her nipples while your tongue drives her crazy from behind. Soft pinches, gentle twists—it’s the ultimate sensory overload.
  • Gentle Spanking: Give her cheeks playful spanks in between licks. The little sting mixed with your tongue will drive her wild—she won’t be able to control her moans.

When you worship her like this, she’ll be soaked, trembling, and so turned on she won’t know what to do with herself. You’re not just licking—you’re driving her wild, and she’ll be hooked on every second of it.

Step #5 - Master the Do’s & Don’ts of Rimming

We all wish we were born knowing how to rock a rim job, but let's face it—porn and your buddy's tips probably didn’t do you any favors. No worries, though. Here’s your cheat sheet of do’s and don’ts to ensure you’re delivering a rim job that’ll have her coming back for more.

Do’s

  • Have a Fiber-Rich Diet: Keep the gut healthy for regular bowel movements. Trust me, it makes for a cleaner and more enjoyable experience.
  • Pay Attention: Read her body. Start with soft kisses and licks, and adjust based on her reactions—slow and steady wins this race.
  • Use Flavored Lube: Lube isn’t just for penetrative sex. A little flavored lube makes the experience smoother and more pleasurable for both of you.
  • Engage All Her Erogenous Zones: Don’t just focus on her anus. Kiss, touch, and tease her inner thighs, butt cheeks, and anywhere else to keep things exciting.

Don’ts

  • Don’t Rim If She’s Constipated: No need to elaborate—just avoid it.
  • Never Do It Out Of Obligation: Consent is key. If one of you is not into it, that’s totally okay—move on to something else.
  • Avoid Over-Cleaning: Too much douching or enemas can irritate the area. Give her body time to recover before jumping in.
  • Don’t Rush: This isn’t a sprint—take your time. The slower and more sensual you are, the better the experience for both of you.

Follow these do’s and don’ts, and you'll be delivering a rim job that feels more like an art form than just another sexual act.

Nail the prep, master the technique, and listen to her body—boom, you’ve got yourself a rim job she’ll never forget.

To keep it that way—let’s dive into three killer tongue techniques that’ll take her from “this feels good” to “I need more of that, now!

3 Simple Tongue Techniques To Send Her Wild

If you’re a newbie to rimming, you might not have thought of many ways to lick your partner yet, which is why I have created a list of movements you can use to pleasure your partner. 

But first, let’s talk about where exactly to lick for maximum pleasure!

Where To Lick? — Focus on These Key Spots for Anal Pleasure

Here are the key areas to focus on when rimming someone:

  • Anus (External Anal Sphincter) – The star of the show, surrounded by the external anal sphincter, which is highly sensitive and under voluntary control. This is where most of the action happens and where your tongue will work its magic.
  • Perineum (Taint) – The sensitive space between the anus and genitals. Packed with nerve endings, this area can significantly amplify pleasure when licked or massaged.
  • Butt Cheeks – Not just for show. Squeezing, massaging, or lightly sucking on the cheeks adds to the overall experience and builds anticipation.

Each area brings something special to the experience, so be sure to give them all the attention they deserve!

Licking your partner's anus is thankfully a bit more straightforward than giving oral sex. Here are my top 3 techniques for giving incredible rim jobs.

Once you use those techniques a few times, she'll be shaking with anticipation, waiting for you to do it again.

Still not enough? Then add sex toys or fingers (really get handsy) and watch how much she loves it.

Since you have the techniques down pat—let’s dive into some of the best anilingus positions that’ll have her dripping, moaning, and begging you not to stop!

The Sexy Six Anilingus Positions

Anilingus is only as good as your position. In the right one, it's heaven. In the wrong sex position, it's like trying to swim with hands tied behind your back.

You might get somewhere in the end, but it's not the most optimal situation.

These six positions are everything you need for maximum pleasure and comfort. 

Position #1 - Doggy Style

This position is one of every man's favorites, and for good reason. If you haven't been living under a rock, you know what Doggy Style is.

However, have you tried remixing it for rimming? This is how. 

How To

  • Have your partner get on all fours, with knees and hands on the bed.
  • Position yourself behind her, kneeling and leaning in for access.

I recommend all my clients try this one out first because it's easy, has great access to her body, and it's pretty easy to adjust as needed. 

Position #2 - Missionary With Bent Knees

Missionary is another classic. It works wonders for anal sex, vaginal sex, and even rimming. 

How To

  • Have your partner lie on her back.
  • Bend her knees and pull them towards her chest for better access.

This one works because it's comfortable and easy. It also has plenty of eye contact, so you can watch out for her nonverbal cues.

You can also easily pause and chat if things become too much towards the end. 

To get easier access to your partner's behind, it sometimes helps to use a pillow underneath their butt for elevation.

Isabel

SEXUALITY COACH

Position #3 - Rim on the Edge

This position offers comfort, control, and easy, unhindered access to her most sensitive areas. It’s ideal for turning up the heat without compromising on stability.

How To

  • Have your partner kneel at the edge of the bed, with her knees in front of the mattress, her tummy flat on the bed and her chest or arms supporting her upper body.
  • Kneel behind her, gently spreading her butt cheeks to gain full access to her anus.
  • Once spread, start with soft kisses or light licks around the anus, gradually increasing pressure as she responds.

This move sets the stage for deeper sensations while keeping her body supported and open for exploration.

Position #4 - Lazy Dog

Think of Doggy Style but with a slightly more relaxed feel. That's the Lazy Dog sex position. 

How To

  • Have your partner lie flat on her stomach.
  • Spread her legs slightly and position yourself between them.
  • Start with soft kisses and licks, gradually increasing intensity as her body relaxes and responds.

I love this position for several reasons. The slow pace makes things very sensual. It's also great for when I want to take my time, teasing her and building up the anticipation.

Plus, it's perfect for lazy Sunday mornings when you want to relax and enjoy each other’s company.

Position #5 - Face Sitting

This hot sex position puts her in more control. If you've done face-sitting before, then you already know a few of the pros. 

If you haven't, let's say that you should imagine your partner on top of you, grinding her body up/down or left/right to whatever feels good for her until she orgasms.

That sounds like a good time to me... 

How To

  • Lie on your back.
  • Have your partner straddle your face, lowering herself onto your mouth.

This lovely position works for couples who enjoy a lot of friction, close contact, and pleasure.

In this position, she gets nearly full control. You just have to sit back, relax, and have your tongue out and ready for action. 

Position #6 - Rimming 69

This position is all about mutual pleasure. While she’s focused on giving you a mind-blowing blow job, you’re giving her an incredible rim job at the same time. It’s the perfect way to care for each other’s needs in one hot, connected move.

How To

  • Lie on your back while she positions herself on top of you head-to-toe.
  • As she bends forward to give you oral sex, her hips will be close to your face, giving you the perfect angle to rim her.
  • Gently spread her cheeks and start with slow, teasing licks around her anus. Match the rhythm of your licking to the pace of her blow job, adjusting based on how both of you are responding.

This position allows you to enjoy the best of both worlds—receiving pleasure while driving her wild with rimming. It’s a perfect way to amp up the intimacy and connection.

You’ve nailed the Sexy Six—now let’s dive into what women crave and the mistakes you need to avoid to keep her on the edge of pleasure!

A Woman's Perspective..
On Common Mistakes To Avoid When Rimming Your Partner

from Isabel
SEXUALITY COACH

Rimming can take your partner’s pleasure to a new level, but small mistakes can quickly kill the mood. Here are common mistakes men often make and how you can avoid them.

Mistake #1 - Going From Ass to Vagina Without Cleaning

A big mistake is moving straight from the anus to the vagina without cleaning, which can cause health issues.

Solution

Always clean between areas with wipes or rinse quickly. Start with vaginal play first to avoid bacterial transfer, or use a dental dam for a seamless transition.

Mistake #2 - Ignoring Her Cues & Communication

Not noticing her body language or ignoring non-verbal cues can turn her off completely.

Solution

Watch her reactions closely—if she leans in, keep going; if she pulls away, adjust. Ask small, sensual questions to keep her engaged and make her feel cared for.

Mistake #3 - Being Too Rough, Too Fast

The anus is sensitive, and going too fast can create tension instead of pleasure.

Solution

Start slow with light touches, allowing her to relax into it. Gradually increase intensity as her body responds, focusing on making every touch intentional.

Mistake #4 - Skipping Lubrication

Without lubrication, anal play becomes uncomfortable and can even be painful.

Solution

Use lube generously to enhance the experience. Reapply as needed to maintain smooth, enjoyable sensations. Lube isn’t optional—it’s essential.

With all this in mind, rimming is very pleasurable when done right. By avoiding these common pitfalls, you guarantee she'll have a good time... 

Most likely, coming back for seconds. 

Frequently Asked Questions

Here, I'll address some common questions about rimming and anal sex to make you feel more confident (and safe) in the bedroom! 

Why do people enjoy anal stimulation?

People enjoy receiving rim jobs and anal play because the anus has many nerve endings, so when someone licks or plays with it, it feels great. 

Can I get sick from rimming someone?

While there is a small risk of exposure to bacteria or infections, practicing good hygiene and using protective tools such as a dental dam can make rimming a safe and enjoyable experience and prevent sexually transmitted infections from spreading. Ensure you and your partner are clean beforehand, and you’re good to go!

Is it okay to kiss my partner after rimming them?

Yes, you technically can kiss your partner after rimming, but a lot of men prefer to freshen up first. Rinsing with mouthwash, drinking water, or brushing your teeth will help reduce any risk while keeping the moment sexy and safe!

Can a woman orgasm from rimming?

Yes, some women can orgasm from rimming due to the sensitive nerve endings around the anus. Still, that does not mean every woman will orgasm from a rimjob, no matter how good your technique is. 

I want to lick my girlfriend's ass. How can I bring up the topic with her? I am afraid she will freak out.

Wait for a relaxed moment and mention your curiosity about exploring anal play, framing it as something fun to discover together. Women are naturally curious, so tickle her interest while reassuring her about safety, hygiene, and moving at her pace. Let her know there’s no pressure—just open, enjoyable exploration.

Do women enjoy a finger in their ass after rimming their anus?

As I often recommend, before trying any new sexual activity, make sure to ask for consent first. Many women do enjoy a finger after rimming, but it’s all about checking in with her comfort level.

How do I eat a girl's ass?

Simple! Read this article. It teaches you everything you need to know. But to quickly summarize: warm her up during foreplay, use your tongue and mouth in one of the positions above, and play with her anus. 

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Andrew Mioch

Andrew Mioch is one of the world’s leading sex coaches and best-selling author after spending 10 years learning from experts all over the world.

Currently pursuing his Master’s Degree in Sexology, Andrew has personally coached over 5,000 men. His expertise is regularly sought in publications such as Men's Health, Medium, and Cosmopolitan Magazine.

These days, Andy spends most of his time coaching clients privately and also through SQL’s online Mastery Academy.


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