What To Do When You Get Caught Masturbating | 10 Tips

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So, you’ve been caught masturbating. Maybe it was by your partner, your roommate, or your parents. Either way, you’re probably feeling more than a little awkward and embarrassed right about now.

Trust me; we’ve all been there. You’re not the first person to be caught choking the chicken or stuffing your envelope, and you certainly won’t be the last.

The good news is, it isn’t the end of the world. This is totally fixable. You just need to take the right steps and follow the advice in this guide. We’re going to be telling you exactly what to do when you get caught masturbating. Read on and take notes.

Why We Masturbate

First off, let’s get one thing straight: everyone masturbates. Seriously. You’re not a total weirdo here, you’re normal. It’s important that you recognize that fact going forward as it’s going to make this a heck of a lot easier to deal with.

Secondly, masturbation isn’t a bad thing. On the contrary, it has all sorts of benefits, such as:

  • Releasing sexual tension
  • Increase sexual desire
  • Relieving stress
  • Sleeping better
  • Improving your mood
  • Relaxing
  • Increasing sexual awareness and understanding
  • Relieving muscular cramps

Plus, a whole bunch more.

Why am I telling you this? Because it’s true. And because moving past the guilt and sense of shame that you might be feeling right now is crucial. Masturbatory guilt can be really bad for your mental health.

The first step you need to take when you’re caught masturbating is getting over it and recognizing that it’s not as important as you think.

Is It OK To Masturbate in a Relationship?

So masturbating is cool, but what about if you’re in a relationship? If you’ve been caught masturbating by your partner, this is an important question to explore.

Well, it’s an interesting question, and there isn’t a black-and-white answer. However, in most cases, the answer is yes. It’s OK to masturbate in a relationship – or at least it should be.

Masturbation is about self-empowerment. In a sex-positive relationship, we should think of masturbation as a healthy part of the parcel, rather than a substitute for sex. It shouldn’t be shameful or wrong.

But that’s not always the way we see it. Your partner’s initial knee-jerk reaction to you masturbating might be to see it as antisocial or like you’re cheating on them. They might take it as an indication that you’re not satisfied with them in bed and feel rejected.

Of course, that isn’t the case. Lots of people in healthy relationships masturbate. It doesn’t mean you’re not satisfied with your partner at all. Sex is demanding compared to masturbation, so wanting some alone time once in a while is totally normal.

But your partner might not see it that way, especially if you’ve not been honest with them. Trying to hide it makes it much worse. Openness and honesty are key.

Ultimately, it’s not what you do, it’s the way that you do it. Masturbation in a relationship is okay, but not if you’re doing it in a dishonest or obsessive way. The idea that you’ve been withholding something from your partner is what’s likely to cause them the most distress.

But if you’re here, it probably means you have been trying to keep it a secret, and now you’ve been caught in the act. What now?

Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.

10 Tips For When You’re Caught Masturbating

If your partner or someone else catches you in the act, remember, it’s not the end of the world. Below are 10 tips that will help you eradicate the awkwardness and avoid any damage to your relationships.

1. Don’t Panic

The first thing to think about when you get caught masturbating is how you react to the situation. Let’s face it; having someone walk in on your intimate personal moments can be extremely embarrassing. And if you’ve never discussed your masturbating habits with your other half, it may cause you to instantly start panicking.

If it does happen, remind yourself that there is no real need to panic. Although you might feel like you’ve just been pulled over by the cops with a trunk full of Class A drugs, it really isn’t as bad as it seems. Take a deep breath, consider concealing your private parts, and have a calm think about the best action to take next.

It’s normal to feel completely panicked and lash out or slam the door in the person’s face, but this is not the best way to deal with the situation. Try your best to take a level headed approach to the whole situation, and it’s likely to make things much less embarrassing.

2. Be Honest

Since you’ve googled ‘what to do if I get caught masturbating,’ it’s likely that you’re not open and honest about the fact that you masturbate.

Amongst friends, it’s a commonly understood thing that most people attend to their own needs, but when it comes to relationships, this topic can be tricky to talk about and can lead some couples to avoid the subject completely. It’s common for people to lie about the fact that they masturbate for fear that their partner might be angry or upset about it.

If this is the situation that you’re in, and you’ve been caught, the best thing that you can do is be honest. Don’t try to lie and say you only did it once or that you had something wrong with your genitals, and that’s why we’re just vigorously rubbing them.

This will only make matters worse and will lead to resentment from your partner. If you’ve been caught, you now have the perfect opportunity to get things out in the open and have ‘the talk’ about masturbation.

3. Explain Your Motivations

If your partner catches you masturbating, it’s important that you talk to them about your motivations. In these situations, some people might assume that you are masturbating because you’re not satisfied with your sex life with them. Or they may even jump to wild conclusions like you have an uncontrollable sex addiction.

However, you and I both know that masturbation is completely normal, and everyone has different reasons for doing it. There’s no reason to be ashamed of your alone time, but it’s important to give your partner a truthful explanation as to why you felt the need to masturbate instead of calling on them for all of your sexual needs.

If you can help your partner to understand why you masturbate, they are much less likely to be angry, and it’s less likely to have a lasting awkward effect on your relationship. Try your best to ensure that your partner doesn’t come to their own conclusions, as these are usually far worse than the actual reality of the situation.

4. Ask Your Partner to Be Open Too

If you’re honest and you fess up about your masturbation motivations, then there’s no reason that you shouldn’t ask your partner to do the same. In a healthy relationship, honesty comes from both sides, and the likelihood is that your partner enjoys some alone time every now and then too.

Getting caught masturbating is a great opportunity to broach an awkward topic that you may have otherwise avoided. If your partner has a chance to see you being honest and unashamed, they may also feel like they have some confessions to make too.

Knowing more about each other’s sexual habits and turn-ons can only have a good effect on your sex lives, and therefore, you might as well encourage some honesty from your partner since you’re both feeling pretty awkward anyway.

5. Talk About What You’re Into

Once you’ve had a chat with your partner about whether or not they do masturbate, you may want to take things one step further and talk about what gets you hot when you’re not in the bedroom together. Lots of couples find that watching porn together and talking to each other about fantasies strengthens their sexual connection.

However, if you and your partner are saving all of your kinks until you’re alone in the bathroom with your iPhone, you may be holding your relationship back from blossoming further. Try to be open and discuss what makes masturbating so appealing, and you may just find that you can use this knowledge to take things up a notch with your partner.

Don’t be afraid to let loose, everybody has some weird kinks that they’re worried to talk about, but your partner may find them hot too!

6. Set Boundaries

Once you’ve successfully navigated the awkwardness of the initial incident, you may want to put some measures in place to ensure that it doesn’t happen again. Even if you’re now being open with your partner, you still don’t want them interrupting your alone time all the time and knocking you off your stride.

It may be a good idea to set some generic relationship boundaries that ensure that both partners can have some time and space without fear that they’re going to be interrupted. You could consider asking your partner to knock before entering your room or ask them not to come into the bathroom whilst you are using it.

Although these things seem like common courtesies when you live with another person, it can be easy to overstep these boundaries without even thinking about it, so giving your partner a heads up about this might be necessary.

7. Apologize for the Right Reasons

Ok, so I know I said earlier that masturbating isn’t something to be ashamed of, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t have any apologizing to do. If it’s your partner that catches you, they may be more upset about the fact that you didn’t tell them, as opposed to the fact that you were masturbating.

If you have been dishonest about this in the past, or you have told outright lies like ‘I’ve never masturbated in my life,’ then it’s definitely worth apologizing. Also, if you freaked out and got mad at the intruder, you should also apologize for that too. Apologies are fine, and in a lot of cases needed, as long as you are not apologizing for the act of masturbating.

8. Don’t Get Angry

When you get caught masturbating, it can be really easy to flip out and get super angry at the person that caught you. In some ways, this anger is caused by your body, especially if you were close to orgasming. It can be super frustrating to be interrupted right at that moment, but try your best to curb your anger as it will only make things worse.

Remember that this is a stressful and awkward situation for everyone involved, so you shouting or blaming the intruder for catching you will only escalate the situation, make you look bad, and potentially damage your relationship if you’re caught by a significant other.

9. Turn it Into a Positive Experience

Although getting caught masturbating might be the worst thing you can possibly imagine, you can easily turn it into a positive experience. As the old saying goes, every cloud has a silver lining.

As we mentioned above, being caught by a partner offers the perfect opportunity for you to learn more about each other and achieve new levels of honesty in your relationship. It also gives you a chance to explore each other’s sexuality in more depth.

If you’re caught by someone else, there are also silver linings to be had too. For example, if you’re caught by a friend or a roommate then you can use this as an opportunity to strengthen your friendship. All great friendships are built on hilarious stories that you can look back on and laugh about. Just be sure to make a joke out of the situation, and don’t take yourself too seriously.

Also, if you are caught by someone that you are crushing on, this can also be a good thing too. Crossing the boundary from a friend to love interest can be hard, but if you have an explicit incident that can get the pair of you talking about more sexual topics, it may help your relationship progress to another level.


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10. Consider Getting Them Involved

And for those of you that would like to take the last tip one step further, you could invite the intruder to join in and make things more interesting. Although this might be a bad move in many situations, if you are caught by your partner or a love interest, it can be a good way to alleviate any awkwardness.

Lots of people will be into the idea of joining in, and it is definitely a good way to show your partner that you’re more sexually interested in them than whatever you were watching when you got caught. It’s a long shot, but if you can pull this off, getting caught masturbating can actually lead to a super kinky situation if you handle it correctly.

How To Avoid Getting Caught Masturbating

Although getting caught masturbating is easily fixable, it’s not exactly fun. You probably don’t want it to happen again, right? So let’s talk about how to avoid getting caught masturbating.

Here are a few tips that will help you to avoid getting caught with your pants down again in the future.

Choose The Right Space

This should be obvious, but don’t masturbate in the same room as your partner. I know it sounds like common sense, but for some reason, this seems to happen a lot.

If I had a dollar for every time I’d heard a story of someone getting caught masturbating in bed next to their partner who they thought was asleep, I’d be a very rich man.

C’mon… guys, asleep people aren’t in comas. They’re still going to wake up when the bed starts rocking, or your magic wand starts buzzing. I shouldn’t have to tell you that.

As I said earlier, you should never masturbate in shared spaces. Find a private space as far away from anyone you wouldn’t want to see you as possible. If you live in a small shared apartment and personal space is hard to come by, at least wait until nobody is home.

Use Discreet Toys

Toys are another reason that a lot of people get caught masturbating. The loud buzzing of a Hitachi magic wand can easily give you away.

The best way to avoid getting caught out by your toys is to choose discreet ones. Some toys are quieter than others, so look at the noise rating before you make a purchase.

Make sure you think about how visually discreet they are too. Fucking machines and other huge toys are kind of hard to hide. Smaller, compact toys are much easier to keep on the down-low. You can even find some super-discreet toys that come disguised as other household objects. For example, male masturbators that look like torches or vibrators disguised as lipstick.

We’ve put together a list of discreet toys you might want to invest in at the bottom of this guide.

Store Your Sex Toys Properly

When you’re done masturbating, store your sex toys somewhere where nobody will accidentally stumble upon them. If your parents, partner, or roommates open up your wardrobe and get hit in the face by a giant dildo, it’ll probably lead to some awkward questions.

All sex toys should ideally be stored in their own discreet carrying case or bag. You should put this somewhere private, like in a locker, safe, or at least under your bed in a locked room. If you share a room with your partner and you don’t want them to find it, store it somewhere else.

Lock the Door

Before you begin, do yourself a favor and lock the door. Even if you’re absolutely certain that nobody will be home for the next half hour, lock it anyway. You never know when somebody’s going to decide to finish early, and you don’t want them to walk in on you mid-wank.

Locking the door will help you to make sure your private time is truly private. If you’re in a shared home and you don’t have a lock on your bedroom door, get one. In the meantime, you might want to consider putting some sort of barrier in front of it so that somebody at least can’t barge right in.

Don’t Forget About Internet History

You don’t have to be caught in the act to be caught masturbating. You can be indirectly caught out if your partner or somebody else checks your internet history. If they see that you’ve spent a half-hour watching porn, it’s pretty obvious what you’ve been up to.

To avoid this unpleasant scenario, make sure you delete your internet history. It’s easy to forget this in the heat of the moment, so set a reminder to do it before you start.

An even better option is to use a private browser when you’re watching porn. Private browsers don’t store your browsing history, cookies, or site data. That way, even if you forget to cover your tracks, there will be nothing to give the game away.

Use Headphones

Another story I hear a lot is from people that got caught masturbating when their partner heard porn coming out of the other room. That’s a total rookie move. The sound of someone moaning loudly coming from the bathroom is a dead giveaway.

If you’ve decided to go somewhere out of the line of sight of your partner to give yourself a hand, but you’re still in the same household, make sure you use headphones. The walls might be thinner than you think; they don’t have to see you in order to know what you’re up to.

If you don’t have any headphones, buy some. Alternatively, you might want to at least wait until they’re busy doing something noisy, like playing music, as this can help to drown out any noise coming from your laptop or phone.

It’s not just the noise from the porn that can give you away either; think about the noise you’re making too.

Choose The Right Time

The best time to masturbate privately is when nobody is around. Find an opportunity when you’re home alone, and everybody is at work, rather than doing it with a full house. This is easier if you work from home during the day, but you should at least be able to find a few minutes per day when you’re the only person at home.

If you can’t find a time when no one is in the house with you, at least choose a time when you know that others are occupied. Maybe wait until late at night when other people are sleeping or find a time to excuse yourself when your family is eating dinner.

Don’t Try And Hide It

And finally, the best possible way to avoid getting caught masturbating is to not try and hide it in the first place. You can’t be caught if you have nothing to hide.

As I’ve said already, be open and honest with your partner. It’s okay to masturbate. If you tell them about it, they probably won’t care. In fact, they probably do it too.

If it’s not your partner you’re worried about, but your parents or roommates, establish boundaries.

You don’t have to exactly announce to them whenever you’re about to masturbate, that’s just awkward. However, you can say you want some private time and politely ask nobody to disturb you. If they have an ounce of common sense, they’ll give you space, so you don’t have to worry about anyone walking in on you.

Best Discreet Sex Toys (That Won’t Give You Away)

Before we wrap up, we wanted to share some of our favorite discreet sex toys that are less likely to give you away. Here they are.

The Fleshlight

The Fleshlight is a male masturbator or ‘pocket pussy, and it’s one of the most purchased sex toys on the planet. What’s great about it is that it looks just like a generic flashlight and can easily be disguised in a guys tool bag. It’s unlikely to raise any eyebrows from the other half, and it can bring a whole new element to your self-pleasure.

The original Fleshlight comes with a variety of inner sleeves to simulate a vagina, butt, or a mouth. Although it’s not the cheapest masturbator on the market, it’s definitely worth the money and is unlikely to cause you any embarrassing situations.

Lelo Mia 2 Bullet Vibrator

For ladies that are looking for a vibrator that won’t get you into any trouble, the Lelo Mia bullet is a perfect choice. The vibrator is non-descript and looks like any other cosmetics bottle that you might find in a women’s dressing table. It could easily pass as a mascara bottle, but it’s so much more fun than that.

The tiny little vibrator can be recharged using a USB, which means you don’t have to get caught charging it either. Despite its small size, it’s capable of giving you a stimulating buzz to make your alone time that little bit more exciting.

Fetish Fantasy Vibrating Panty

If you’re looking for a sex toy that won’t look out of place in a knicker drawer, vibrating panties are the way to go. The Fetish Fantasy Vibrating Panty is a perfect kinky addition to your masturbation, and it can help you to increase your enjoyment by adding some extra hands-free vibration.

Unlike some vibrating panties, the Fetish Fantasy Vibrating Panty provides an internal vibrating nub to give you a great feeling on the inside, rather than on the outside. These are great if you don’t want to get caught masturbating, as you can also pass them off as a toy that you bought to use with your husband or SO if they find them.

Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace

The Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace is about as sneaky as it gets. Cunningly disguised as a necklace, it can be easily stored in your jewelry box, and anyone who sees it won’t suspect a thing. They’ll just think it’s a regular necklace. If spies had vibrators, this is what they’d use.

It’s actually wearable too, so you can take it with you when you’re out and about, and nobody you bump into will ever suspect that you’re planning on using it to get yourself off later. The vibrator is attached to a lovely minimalist chain that comes in silver, gold, or rose gold.

It’s body-safe, powerful, and actually looks pretty nice as a necklace. Seriously. It’s not just great as a sex toy, it’s a pretty nice fashion accessory too. As an added bonus, it’s USB chargeable so that you can recharge it on the go on your laptop.

You can change the settings to switch between four different preset vibration modes depending on what you like.

Tenga Egg Variety 6-Pack

This is another one for all the guys out there. My dudes, let me introduce you to your new masturbator – Tenga Eggs. These are single-use strokers disguised as – yep, you guessed it – a packet of eggs.

The eggs themselves feel incredible. Each of them has a slightly different texture that feels amazing around your shaft, but you wouldn’t know just by looking at them. From the outside to the casual observer, they look exactly like a regular 6-pack of eggs you’d find in your local supermarket.

Aside from the quirky branding, they’re almost indistinguishable from edible eggs. I wouldn’t recommend putting them on top of your fridge, though. If your roommate or partner tries to use them to make an omelet, they’ll be in for a shock!

Final Thoughts

Ok, that about covers it. Now you know exactly what to do when you’re caught masturbating and how to avoid it in the future.

Remember, the number one most important thing to do is to recognize that it’s not a big deal and be honest. It’s not the end of the world – or your relationship!

Do you have any of your own funny experiences of getting caught masturbating that you want to share? Let us know in the comments!

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